from my window the rain made me numb
but when I walked outside
the rain healed me
held me
pulled me out of my screen
I needed to feel it
the must and the rush
surrounding me
tapping
fresh cold in my nose
forcing presence
I'm smiling
the rain reminds me

i've lost my pen pal
she used to collect sand dollars
and write poems for me
stay up late
reading about sharks
making fairy houses
bubbling from music
she was melancholy but she knew herself
like the moon over the ocean

between lovers
a soft reminder
like a cypher
behind closed doors we become one
humans are poets by nature
a metaphor on our lips that lingers
we have nothing else to share
except our minds and our bodies
and to give both is our greatest offering

as I open my eyes my body hums
realizing where I am
rare autumn sun drizzles through the window
the warmth of you is sweet like maple syrup
and I marinate in the joy connecting our limbs

with you I feel safer than I've ever felt
where you end and I start
can't say
I savor these mornings like sunlight in November
as we melt together in bed

he doesn't text me
and I think
it's my arms
chicken cutlets
that need the fat trimmed off
maybe it's the way my belly rolls
when he's holding my legs up
even in his lust
he must see
my flaws
can he worship a woman
that's beautiful and round?
the figures on his screens
tall, tight, trimmed, and small
in the bedroom night
shadows purse together
like lips
mouthing no on his wall
but it's me
I'm the woman
bullying myself all along

I put my thoughts in his mind
and place my words in his mouth.

when they write about ******* they don't write about mine
when I read the word "*******"
I see mystical plump teardrops
kisses from the gods
tiny pink *******
perfect for putting your mouth on
mine hang as I write
slouched braless over my keyboard
dark round
odd things
too big in all the wrong ways
but alas
they are still ******* after all

I plan out my words to him like a poem
hoping he'll notice they were plucked just for him
like my eyebrows
and ***** hair
please adore my presentation
and I'll lay silent and bare