you're too drunk to touch me and my
softness is
wasted
without your hands reaching
absently.

the kind of sad that doesn’t fit

anywhere. mine to keep. the world lets so many

ugly

things exist i’ll never learn to

talk,

words come only when i’m the solitary

witness

it’s not your fault, it’s nobody’s fault

our parents could have taught us but the ugly keeps them

quiet

who wants to speak of that?

you say you are

weak

and i think of all the times you were my

steadiness.

i hate these tears because they make you

ache

you are too good for the

ugly.

oh,

i’m not going to be happy

ever

and i’m doomed to be

divorced

because i don’t want to be swaddled in your sugar coated comfort blanket ?

i’m sorry that you believe love is only true if you suppress all of your satisfying, swelling feelings until the day someone wants to reproduce with you

and that you have to cover your most tender, lovely parts in ugly underwear and that on your wedding night both of you will

look the other way



it’s unfortunate that your God only likes you if you give him all your money and hate the right things

and that your life is a dichotomy of

knowing you are superior to everyone who didn’t happen to grow up with your doctrine pinned to their shirt

& knowing that if you don’t color inside of religion’s lines just so

you’ll

never

be

good

enough

for

salvation



and what if that still, small voice is actually doubt

and you spend your entire human existence trying to prove it wrong

by passive-agressively pushing your fear towards others

it’s sad that you’ll make yourself small for a potential outcome

while i’ll grow, grow, grow because i am boundless

you are too, but you don’t know it so you’ll pollute your potential with petty

judgments


yes, there’s a (pretty) ******* ring in my nose and some (meaningful) ******* ink on my skin and your son and i (beautifully) **** each other

i

am

no

less

and

no

more

than

you

are


your high horse has wobbly legs and thanks but

i will determine my own



happiness.

light autumn rain drops
the tiniest
kisses
smear the words being delicately written:

"i
would
do
literally
anything
for
you"

if i were pregnant, i would never wear a shirt so everyone could see
i don't know why i thought of that as i was
talking you to sleep, i thought it and didn't say it and then heard you say, 'i want you always'
so quiet i could hear your eyelashes scraping against my skin
your breath is the forest and i think about when walking and smoking and trying to find new things in the same.
remember the first time we touched each other?
now sometimes i feel guilty for taking up all the happy, especially when you put your lips a half second away from mine and the tiny things mean everything.

the walls are bleeding and my fingers are

melting into your skin.

on the back porch, the sky is voluptuous with rain and i’m crying because everything is electric and so, so beautiful

you give me one of those hugs that makes every bone in my back pop into place and then say,

i’ll never hurt you

it’s amazing how you can let go and feel

safe

standing in the wet street, my feet are muddy and i know the moon is shining on my bare legs even though when i look in the sky there is only

lightening

it's just that
when we are laying in the crumpled sheets
and your belly is folded into my back like the tide folds into the
sand


i keep thinking:

this is the most important art i'll ever make