why do I keep on trying
when everything stacked up so high
and I know there is a reason
to believe that tomorrow will be the day I fly
why do I keep on going.
When all the hope and dreams soon vanish.
Like a puff of smoke.... in the wind.
And the path we met and walked along
was the best place I have ever wandered
until suddenly… It came to an end.
I looked around me ...standing there all alone.
And at the barricades there in front of me.
And I knew that you were not always alongside
as I had continued... on down that dream
somewhere along the path I found myself
and the courage to keep going for pain to be denied.
But that hope when based on false dreams.
Cannot maintain for all my days
we wake up sooner or later to realize
that is the way it is, is really just how it is.
And no dream or imagination.
Will ever let me measure up to become…
..... Someone who flies
why do I believe that tomorrow
Will be better than the day I had
when I believed it would be better.
If I could just lay down and die.
Because I know that hopelessness
is the cold steel binding of a fetter
that would keep me... on the ground.
So I move along the path of promise.
Where I will always believe in me.
For I cannot expect anyone else to
if I cannot find myself a way to move on.
With an inspired and hope filled life.
How would I ever find that one who
gave me the wings.... and watched...
..... the way I flew ?
nobody wants to fight a war
what the hell are we doin it for
surely its not built into our core
or is it ..or is it ..OR IS IT AAAWWW
so if it is I do not see a way weeeEE
will ever get out of this world alive
IS THIS ALL WE GOT TO DO
TO LOOK FORWARD TO ...?
I'm asking you and I
hope that you
will go and ask someone else
so if we can get the whole world
THE WHOLE WORLD asking
WE may just find out .....that
no one has an answer..and
no one even has a clue ..sooooo
wouldn't that mean it should
it should....... be easyezezez
to break the habit ...because
I have always heard it said
THAT to recognize
that you have
you have a problem
is half the battle
I guess that's why why
sooooo many youngsters
HAAAaaave to DIIIIEEEEE!!!
SO WE DON'T HAVE TO...
really take that look at ourselves
and fight the other half....
........of that BAAaaaaAATTttteeeell.
He went from hero to zero
In nothing flat
Took his foot off the gas
And that was that
Looked in the mirror ..
Like what he seen
With a past behind him
A lifetime ahead
And there he was
Stuck in between
Stuck in between
What would have been
Had he put the pedal down
Where would he be
What would he have found
Where would he have gone
Would he have liked what he seen
Put the past behind him
Gather up that real life ahead
But still there he was.
Lost and stuck ...
my perceptual imbalance regardless of talents spread out over a
gives an obfuscated vision of a murky aberration unfocused on
all but the aperture
overwhelming blind ambition especially when wrapped up in
raiment of religion
becomes translucent in the implications and applications as they
writhe into obligation
laid out in prostration in their zeal appealing to an ever evolving
version of Valhalla
even now we see demonstrations of new world rationalizations
mired in implications
Machiavellian machinations as we seem to suddenly find need
of insentient insensate
willing partisan participants who believe participating in sacred
in total disregard of patently salacious overbearing lying denying
............A SAD SAD TRADE FOR WHAT WAS....
.. OUR GREAT....OBAMA nation.
We know what reality
Becomes .....when the banality
Has gone stale from overuse
Try to find a spark of life
In what is rapidly
Nothing is worth fighting for
EXCEPT.....FOR A TRUCE
But if you will
Just take a pill
And let it conquere every ill
Feelings ...that you
Just can't comprehend
And in this state of blissfullness
You miss your stop and then you end...up
Coming to the conclusion that you are lost
None of this will harsh your bliss
Unless you find ...that what you miss
Is destined to
Never ever .. Come Back Around
So if the army that you've unlisted in
Doesn't care if they lose
Or if they win
Is that the reality you think
That you have found
Because if it is then what it says
Is nothing but....
A pack of lies
Staring down the open pits
You realize that it's
What used to be your eyes
Then everything comes crowding in
Pushing you to defend
That you never --felt
That you had earned
And then you find
You can't unwind
The tangled mess that you possess
Thats commonly refered to as
Your daily grind
INDUCE ME TO GO CHEMICAL
REDUCE ME TO IMPERICAL
AS I THROW REASON
... OUT THE DOOR
ANY SUBSTANCE I CAN FIND
TO HELP ME TO ERASE MY MIND
WILL SURELY HELP ME
FIND MYSELF A CURE
For all the pains that I have chained
To myself and noone else
Ever really knew ..that I
Even carried it around
The weight of the world
Wrapped around me like a steel cocoon
The only hope I can see
Is that someday --a better me
Will rise up to take what life will bring
Chrysilis is at the heart of
All my hopes and all my dreams
But chemicals keep putting holes
Chemicals keep putting holes
In all my future wings
First day of Rance s and stormys New Life.
After the first night of sleeping in the camper .
First realization that he's on his own ,for the first time in his life. First opportunity for Rance to find ,what will eventually become a great novel so ...off to say hi and meet the neighbors.
An hour later, back from walking the campsite not have found any great stories, a couple of people nodded back as we passed , and one returned how you ? To my How are you doing today?
. No Epiphanies and no happy mood as he cooked up some hamburgers, for himself and for stormy .
As it came time to eat, and Rance does something else for the first time ever, and that is deciding to say a prayer- for the journey and for the meal.
Made some hamburger patties , fixed stormy some food in his bowl turned on some Aerosmith Circa 1982 and waited for what would be next. As it turned out it was just hamburgers. No Revelations , no approaching strangers/ Neighbors to regale with the most amazing story ever to be heard..
So I grill the burgers, set out the condiments, fill the plate with chips ,open the can of dr. Pepper then did something I had rarely if ever done in my life I made up a prayer'.
Dear God in heaven
Jesus and the holy Spirit
Thank you for this meal
Both mine and Stormys
And for the opportunity
..... Beyond my horizons
Lift Me Up
And I will look farther
Open my heart
That I may feel deeper
Fill me up that I may have
Something to give back
I don't know what
My sites should be set on
Or the path
That I should be taking
So I will put it in your hands
To guide me- to show me
Where to look and help me
See what I might otherwise miss
I asked myself a little while ago
If I would do anything different
Then the people who. are camped around me .
I don't know the answer
I would like to believe.... that
The answer is inside me
Where only time and your good graces
Will help me if ....
... . Understanding is mine
In Jesus name amen
Then for some reason I decided , instead of spending the day and night , as planned -at 12:30 in the afternoon- I packed up ,checked the map pick what I believe would be a pleasant four our trip, then I shook the dust of campsite 12C modern from my clothes and I waved hardly at all the strangers camping down the lane- as I went past.
One little boy of about 10 waved enthusiastically back at me as I roll by.
An hour later I found myself traveling a. switchback mountain pass highway when I came around a blind curve and come face-to-face with large backpack -a very large backpack - in the road.
The backpack , upon reflection was on the narrow shoulder of the road and it rode on the the narrow shoulders of a red headed guy; walking with a dog on a string ,going in the same direction that I was traveling.
As I passed by, slowly. as the surprise from coming around the corner and seeing the sudden backpacks appearance ,along with the steady uphill climb of the road had slowed me considerably- anyway.
It was the dog that nearly brought me to a complete stop .It was not the - enthusiastic hitchhiker's - thumb sticking out to his side.
The dog was bone-thin with ribs showing like Fingers through the flesh and the protruding hip bones that stuck out like golf balls under the skin just above each hind leg. A silver and black dog that stood about 26 inches at the shoulders and should have weighed 80 pounds....would probably tip the scales at 45 or 50.
I passed by this pair with cuss words on my breath and anger in my heart to suddenly see a pull off/ view area to my right.
I pulled in with a sudden and violent yank of the wheel that earned me a hard look from Storm .
I was probably a quarter mile past The Hitch-Hiker when I pulled in and it was large enough to move back away from the road to a point I could no longer see the guy or the dog.
" Good God" I said to Storm " Did you see .... and then it hit me with the spirit , as sudden as a bug hitting the windshield would do; so I looked up to the heavens" REALLY ?" I said "This is my answer?"
Then I knew right then and there that I had judged, I had assumed , "I saw a starving dog and never thought... maybe he was attached to a starving human.
I've been flying with the eagles
I've been painting in the sky
I've been eye to eye with angels
I've been graced with memories...
....that no amount of money ....
would ....ever hope to buy
I was born by pain of obligation
I was born among the fettered planes
I was born same time emerging nation
..... throwing off ties that bound
.......same to me .....what it did deny
I raised myself through time and toil
I raised myself through waves of anger
I raised myself above the place I hated
......by sheer force and dreams of distant
.... mountains that....I'd someday fly
l lived despite all those cruel intentions
I lived to see the hope rise absent of color
I lived to see the battle raging all around me
......passing on just after I was given freedom
......laid to rest by some who had chose to listen
.....as I rambled on about my mountains
....I'd live to see ....before I die
I've been flying up so high with the Angels
I've been blessed to walk among some as well
I've been carried up here and buried where it'd be
......easier for me ........to reach up and touch the sky.
I'VE BEEN PAINTING IN THE SKY !