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Keith Skyy Dec 2012
My vision is like a kaleidoscope
Continually shifting as I awake
And peel my face from a cold tile floor.
My hands rest on a cold surface
Smooth as the glass bottle that put me there.
Porcelain.
As my vision spins I ease myself to my knees,
Remnants from the previous twelve hours
Spill from my mouth like pigeons
Fleeing from a running child.
The metallic taste of blood
Lingers on my tongue
The color red clings to the color white
It seems afraid of what will happen
If it lets go.
I try to piece together
How I got here.
Where is it that I am?
Why am I where I am?
I push myself to my feet
The kaleidoscope continues to vex my vision
It is then I realize where I am
I am in my home.
My brain attempts to spark memories from
The night before like flint trying to spark
A fire.
Still that fire refuses to burn.
I turn and look to the mirror for guidance
But I do not recognize the person I see.
This same mirror once showed me
A man that looked content
A man that looked happy
A man that looked clean
A man that had something to live for.
Now the mirror shows me a man
With blood vessels bursting in the whites of his eyes
With an unshaven face that could cut a welcoming hand
With nothing left under his transparent skin.
It is then I remember why I am here
He’s gone
He took too much and now
He’s gone.
I reach for the remnants
Of that smooth bottle upon the counter
And as I finish the final drops
I slide back to the smooth
Cold tile floor
The dancing of my vision stops.
And darkness takes its place once more.
Keith Skyy Nov 2011
My vision is a blurry mess
As I awake and peel my face from a cold tile floor.
My hands rest on a smooth cold surface,
Porcelain.
As my vision spins I ease myself to my knees,
Using the porcelain.
Remnants from the previous twelve hours spill from my mouth,
Into the porcelain.
The metallic taste of blood is lingering on my tongue,
The color red clings to the color white
Of the porcelain.
I try to piece together how I got to where I am.
Where is it that I am?
Why am I where I am?
I push myself to my feet,
Using the porcelain.
I push down the silver switch and watch,
I watch as water washes my stains away
From the porcelain.
My vision turns to stars.
So I sit,
Sit upon the porcelain.
It is then I realize where I am,
I am in my home.
I turn and look to the mirror for guidance,
but I do not recognize the person I see.
I slide back to the cold tile floor,
And as I do I feel my head crack,
Crack upon the porcelain.
And once again red clings to white,
And the red slowly runs,
Runs down the porcelain.
Keith Skyy Nov 2011
I'm told not to hide what I feel,
But the only place I truly reveal,
What I am feeling deep within myself,
Is in the notebook that sits upon my shelf.
                 It's always waiting there for me,
                 To open it up and trail my ink,
                 So that my thoughts I keep hidden away,
                 Finally have a place to stay.
Sometimes I surprise my conscious mind,
With things I write in such short time,
But other times I can't say what I mean,
And the subject stays a thought unseen.
                  Certain days the page will glow with glee,
                  Other days it's dark, depressing and mean,
                  Some days there is no emotion at all,
                  And the notebook lies still against the wall.
I despise the day that will come too soon,
When I arrive home and rush to my room,
Full of thoughts I must put in a cage,
Only to find the notebook has no blank page.
Keith Skyy Nov 2011
A child waits until the town is fast asleep,
And out his front door he silently creeps,
Tragedy has taken him to terrible feats,
Of lying, stealing and deceit.

No one knows this child anymore,
He picked a different road, a different door,
They found him dead yesterday on his floor,
A needle in his arm, a bullet in his skull.

This country is completely run a muck,
They said in eight years we'd all be ******,
Those eight years hit us like a truck,
To get out of this mess we're gonna need more than luck.

A soldier listens to bullets flying by,
While counting the seconds he's still alive,
He wanted to serve his country, but survive.
They found him dead yesterday, fear still in his eyes.

This country is completely run a muck,
They said in eight years we'd all be ******,
Those eight years hit us like a truck,
To get out of this mess we're gonna need more than luck.

A woman once simply spoke her thoughts,
And with them her government disagreed, a lot.
They never politely asked her to stop,
They just jailed that woman, for speaking her thoughts.

This country is completely run a muck,
They said in eight years we'd all be ******,
Those eight years hit us like a truck,
To get out of this mess we're gonna need more than luck.

We're gonna need some love.

A child waits until the town is fast asleep,
And out his front door he silently creeps,
Tragedy has taken him to terrible feats,
So he steps up to the ledge, and he takes the leap. . .
Keith Skyy Nov 2011
It’s tiny,
It’s blue,
A circular thing,
Slip it down your throat,
And somehow happiness it brings
Imprints on both sides,
Tells you what it is,
Where it’s from, what it does, and that it’s not for kids.
Does is make you joyful?
Or just make you numb?
You don’t care, it helps,
And you’re too **** young,
To feel these things,
To walk these roads,
To lie through your teeth to clean another's ***** nose.
But no, it’s not like that,
They say it’s not your fault,
Something switched inside your head when you took that fall.
You’re not yourself,
You don’t know why,
Maybe it’s the meds,
Maybe it’s the time.
But don’t fool yourself,
You gotta give it up,
You gotta get your feelings back so you’re not just numb.
You could stop today,
Just throw it away,
But you know it’ll help tomorrow,
Like it did today.
You could slowly stop,
Keep lowering in halves,
But you’re afraid the end of that will bring the nightmare back.
You want to blame yourself,
You always do,
They say it’s not your fault,
It just happened to you.
But they don’t know what it’s like,
Waking up everyday,
Scared, Panic, feeling insane.
Until that little blue circle,
Flips some switch in your brain.
So you’ll continue the path,
Cause numb is better than dark,
Nervous, depressed, not a flame just a spark.
And who knows when,
But the day will come,
When you’ll have to put up a fight,
Against the little blue one.
No prize for the winner,
No trophy,
No fame,
Only life as it should be,
How you should remain.
Keith Skyy Nov 2011
Walking through the breeze,
Somehow to him it feels like home,
Only through the nighttime air,
And only when he’s alone.
There are so many issues that have been sedated,
But none actually exist,
Save the problems entirely created,
By his very own consciousness.
As he walks along he thinks about
How perfectly he was raised,
He knows it’s his fault, and his alone,
That he goes through such pain.
He was dealt a royal flush,
In the final round of the game,
But for no reason he gave into the bluff,
And stained the spotless family name.
It’s something that must be let go,
But it is embedded in his mind,
It’s what he thinks as he walks alone,
And toward happiness he remains blind.
At home he sits upon the couch
And lets cold whiskey still his mind.
He puts a cigarette to his mouth,
Takes a drag and says, “everything’s going to be fine”.
Emotions come as often as they go,
It just depends on the situation and time.
He’s always tried not to let his show,
And due to this it’s himself that he confines.
Keith Skyy Nov 2011
I hope you’re happy now with him and your new life,
I hope you’re happy with never having to fight.
I know he’s not like me, he doesn’t abuse things.
I know you’re happy girl, especially with your new ring.

I could never keep myself together enough for you,
I was always stumbling and you didn’t know what to do.
You tried your best to show me I was worth more than I thought,
And the view through your eyes pulled my loose strings taught.  

But I can only see myself through eyes that are my own,
And I never liked how I saw myself when I was alone.
It wasn’t you that turned me toward a numb and drunken track,
And I’m sorry that you left because you thought I’d never come back.

I hope you’re happy now with someone that doesn’t drink away every day,
I hope you’re happy now with him and all of his ways.
Just know that I miss you and you were the best thing in my life,
I know you’ll be happy once you’re finally that man’s wife.

Once you were gone I realized the state that I was in,
I was destroying myself and trying to take you with.
I’m glad that you finally got out before it was to late,
And I know without me your life will turn out to be great.

I wish that I could stick around to see you walk down the isle,
To once again see you happy, to see you smile.
But I’ve dug myself so deep I can’t see any way out,
And I know that you’d disagree but this has to be my route.

I wish that I could go back and change almost everything that I did,
But the ship has sailed and I’ve left myself alone to drift.
I sit alone with a whiskey bottle every day and night,
I’m deep in debt, I can’t find love, my light ain’t bright.

But of course you know this you saw it every single day,
When you left I’d be drinking and when you returned it was the same.
If you still want to help me I can think of one final way,
I want for you to stay happy and for you to forget all about me.

Please stay happy now with someone who treats you like you deserve,
Please just stay happy and know you steered me through the curve.
And know that there was no way for you to save me from the cliff,
Just please stay happy and know I was just buried to deep to live.

— The End —