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1.2k · Apr 2016
Victims.
Kathy Dehaven Apr 2016
Dylan Klebold (17)... Senior.... September 11, 1981- April 20, 1999
Eric Harris (18)... Senior.... April 9, 1981- April 20, 1999
Cassie Bernall (17)... Senior.... November 6, 1981- April 20, 1999
Lauren Townsend (18)... Senior.... January 17, 1981- April 20, 1999
Rachel Scott (17)... Senior.... August 5, 1981- April 20, 1999
Corey DePooter (17)... Senior.... March 3, 1982- April 20, 1999
Daniel Mauser (15)... Sophy.... June 25, 1983- April 20 1999
Daniel Rhohrbough (15)... Sophy.... March 2, 1984-  April 20, 1999
Dave Sanders (47)... Old ****.... October 22, 1951- April 20, 1999
Kelly Fleming (16)... Junior.... January 6, 1983- April 20, 1999
Steve Curnow (14)... Freshmeat.... August 28, 1984- April 20, 1999
Matt Kechter (16)...Sophy.... February 19, 1983- April 20, 1999
Isaiah Shoels (18)... Senior.... August 4, 1980- April 20, 1999
John Tomlin (16)... Junior.... September 1, 1982- April 20, 1999
Kyle Velasquez (16)... Junior....May 5, 1982- April 20, 1999
1.0k · Feb 2015
Just Maybe...
Kathy Dehaven Feb 2015
Depression- Deb
Suicidal- Sue
Anorexia- Ana
Bulimia- Mia
Self- Harm- Cat
Schizophrenia- Sophie
Bipolar-Bri
ADD/ ADHD- Addie
Ednos- Ellie
OCD- Olive
Borderline- Bella
Paranoia- Perry
Insomnia- Izzy
Maybe, Just maybe our worst nightmares are real.
854 · Jun 2016
Untitled
Kathy Dehaven Jun 2016
Slutty *****.
Not enough.
Emo cycle.
One of the regulars.

Deadbeat lowlife ******.
660 · Mar 2015
Definition.
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2015
Eccedentesiast

                         (.n) Someone who hides pain
                                                behind a smile.
604 · Jun 2016
Untitled
Kathy Dehaven Jun 2016
Flirtation, flirtation
All around hip rotations

Late night happenings
And morning strips

One night stands
And 18 year holds

Whiskey and bourbon are the life of gleam
That help me look Death in the eye with a kean smirk.
555 · Jan 2015
&
Kathy Dehaven Jan 2015
&
Violet eyes
&
Ripped thighs,
Broken truths
&
Butchered Lies
511 · Feb 2016
No.
Kathy Dehaven Feb 2016
No.
I hope it doesn't effect you that I can't control myself.
436 · Apr 2016
22 Credits.
Kathy Dehaven Apr 2016
22 Credits.
Is all I need.
22 Credits.
And I can be free.
22 Credits.
I just need this small deed.
22 Credits.
And I can finally... be me.
423 · Apr 2016
Untitled
Kathy Dehaven Apr 2016
Happy 4-20!!

Where people blaze it and shoot it
Where the blunts and joints are welcomed,
As are the guns and shells.

Where people have lived and died.
From Bob Marley to Adolf ******.
From Dixon to Columbine.

This day is momentous known for two very different things:
Marijuana and 15 lives.


We hope you have a great time on this wondrous day!!
410 · Apr 2016
Untitled
Kathy Dehaven Apr 2016
She's beauty she's grace
She'll punch you right in the face.
She's blue she's gray
She lives right by the bay.
She's the girl in the blue bandana.

She's Mississippi she's Louisiana
So believe me when I say God gave me her.
Because she is an Angel in disguise
With her wings tucked back,
But soon she will fly and soar away from here
In look for more.
She deserves the world the planets and the galaxy
But only receives the dirt gravel and plunder.

I love her beyond belief because she is my Blonde BFF.
407 · Feb 2016
KC
Kathy Dehaven Feb 2016
KC
A very close friend told me that I was lost.
It meant a lot, because I am.
I'm lost and I don't think i'll ever find my way.
And that's okay.
Angel, Sierra.
396 · Mar 2015
Untitled
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2015
The roses have wilted,

The violets are dead.

The demons run circles,

Round and round in my head.
394 · Mar 2016
Past 3.
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2016
I was the                                                        I waS the
                                                            Child of thE
                                                           ­     Most weLl known
                                                           ­            ActrEss of all
                                                             ­                 Nobody would predict
                                                         ­                 ThAt a child
                                                                ­       Would die so
                                                                        Young.
Girl with a
RocKstar boyfriend.

  I hAd the look.
     aTtitude.
       Really I had
It all. Until one
daY I lost every-
thiNg.
368 · May 2016
Hope.
Kathy Dehaven May 2016
Do you even care?

Do you even know?

I hope that you've fallen in Love with this girl, I hope that you're happy together and that you picture you both going somewhere together.

I hope she leaves you without explanation, I hope that she comes back a month from now and then leaves again.

Tears your ******* heart out. But leaves you waiting and wanting and needing...

Every. Single. Time.
368 · Apr 2016
4-20-99
Kathy Dehaven Apr 2016
Thinking.
Driving.
Arriving.
Starting.
Shooting.
Welcome to our little judgement day.
361 · Apr 2016
Start and Finish.
Kathy Dehaven Apr 2016
This is the revolution made of our blood
All yall ******* rolling in mud.
Lighting up instead of sparking up.
Maybe instead we can mark it up.
Start running cause we started spraying
Are you still praying?
Young Eric Harris
And the God of Sadness
Coming back to finish what we started.
358 · May 2016
It Happens.
Kathy Dehaven May 2016
He's too old.
He's over me.
He's going off to college.
He ignores me.
He doesn't feel the same.
It's not beautiful falling in Love easily.
It hurts worse than a knife in your heart.
345 · Apr 2016
GODS.
Kathy Dehaven Apr 2016
WE SHOULD BE PRAISED.
WORSHIPPED.
******* HONOURED!

And all you do on this wonderous day is fill it with the smoke of ****
Instead of shotgun shells and carbine bullets.
339 · Aug 2016
Thats all.
Kathy Dehaven Aug 2016
I dont know what im doing wrong anymore. Im sorry.
334 · Mar 2016
All I Am.
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2016
You're Worthless.
Nothing.
Desperate.
Attention Seeking.
*****.
****.
Dramatic.
Fat.
Stupid.
You can't even spell.
You can't write for ****.
You are nothing.
Your a fake.
Oh, whatever.
Yeah, okay.
Liar.
You'll never matter.
Nobody will ever love you.
**YOU ARE WORTH NOTHING!
Thanks, guys. Family. Head.
334 · Mar 2016
Me.
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2016
Me.
Many people ask me why I don't want to get into a relationship, or why I don't have a boyfriend. This is why.
I have Depression.
I'm Suicidal.
I'm Bipolar.
I have OCD.
I have PTSD.
I'm abusive as a way to get back at the people who abused me.
I don't accept myself, the way I should.
I am ****** up beyond repair and belief.
I cut.
I dump all of my  problems onto people and expect them to treat me the way I want to be.
I am judgmental.
I can not take no for an answer, but when I do I get pissy.
I don't like being insulted, but I love insulting people.
I hate attitude, but I will give it in a heartbeat.
I expect to much out of people that I know are only temporary.
I share my opinions WAY to much.
And you know, guys can't handle it.
These are only a few things as to why I am single. And also because of the fact that I just got out of a relationship. Not recently, i'm just still trying to get over it.
322 · Mar 2015
Books.
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2015
A Reader lives
A thousand lives
Before he dies.
The man who
Never reads
Lives only one.
311 · Jun 2016
Untitled
Kathy Dehaven Jun 2016
I give up with this thing called trying
Because every night ive ended in crying.

Im out world...
It was a good run.
304 · Apr 2016
I.
Kathy Dehaven Apr 2016
I.
I am a drunken mistake.
I am a drunken in the moment mistake.
I am worth nothing but the fact that my mother gets more tax money than with one child.
I am nothing because my lungs dont work. I CANT EVEN ******* BREATH PROPERLY! Do you know how ******* suckish that is?
I am worth nothing because He, She, They told me so. I CANT EVEN LOOK IN THE ******* MIRROR WITHOUT SEEING THAT SCARED 8 YEAR OLD.
I am worth nothing because I have nothing to offer.
Im not pretty. Inside or Out.
Im not skinny. In Any Way.
Im not a ******. Because I was Stupid.
Im scarred. Because Im Weak.
I want to ******* throw away my life. Im going to anyway. Why not start early?
302 · Mar 2016
Past 2.
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2016
I was A                                                              ­                I was thE
                                                           ­                                   Second woman
                                                           ­                                  Into this Vaulted
                                                       ­                                       Dome of what
                                                            ­                                  We call Earth.
Goddess raining
From above.

I had The
Power of a
       THousand men

               I was known for my
   purEness
      ANd for my latching onto
      wAr.
295 · Apr 2016
Thank You.
Kathy Dehaven Apr 2016
Gone. Their all finally gone.
I've thought and twisted with every turning doubt, how can I die if others care?
And now... their gone.
Only 8 more days till I can see the Devil himself.
289 · Mar 2016
Past.
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2016
I can't help                                                     I don't undeRstand
                                                    ­                                 Why It's me
                                                                ­      Who gets' stuCk
                                                         ­                           With Him.

                                                                ­                     But here I
                                                                ­                              Am. With one
                                                                ­                     Of the best
                                                            ­                          KilleRs in History.
                                                        ­                                 To Date.
But blame myself
For what happeneD.

Even though i'm
Not that person
                          AnYmore.

I don't care
If what happened,
Happened over 16
Years ago.

I may not
                 PhysicaLly be that
Person anymore but
                         I cAn't help
        But be him iNside.
282 · Mar 2016
Past 4.
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2016
I'm  not ready                                                            I have no
                                                                                     No clue of
                                                                                     My name
                                                                                    
                                                                                     I all I  
                                                                                    Know is that  
                                                                                     I was the
                                                                                    Best FRIEND.
To learn what
I already Know.

ThAt I was
More or less
A biTch.

I hurt hEr
But oh well
She huRt him

It could've been
Resolved but she
Decided she waNted
To be free.

I just made
Him hAppy.
277 · Feb 2015
You.
Kathy Dehaven Feb 2015
Teach Me How To Fight,
I'll Show You How To Win.
Because Your My Mortal Flaw,
And I'm Your Fatal Sin.
269 · Feb 2016
Killer.
Kathy Dehaven Feb 2016
Stay Low, Move Fast.
**** First, Die Last.
One Shot, One ****.
No Luck, Pure Skill.
267 · Jun 2016
Untitled
Kathy Dehaven Jun 2016
The only men I trust are
Jim
Jack
And
José.



Whiskey bent and Hell bound.
266 · Jun 2016
Personalities.
Kathy Dehaven Jun 2016
Happy girl, that doesnt care shes gotten better she has the gleam back in her eye.


Sad girl, that hides it all shes gotten worse she has death in her eye.
266 · Apr 2016
Do not. Do.
Kathy Dehaven Apr 2016
Do not question my sanity for I have but none.
Do not ask me to hope for I have but none.
Do not ask me to look for better days because there are but none.
Do not ask me to live because I have but very few reasons too.
Do not ask me.

Do tell me to **** myself.
Do tell me all of the things you hate about me.
Do tell me things that you wouldnt.
Do tell me.
265 · Mar 2015
Change.
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2015
Books don't
Change people;
Paragraphs
Do, sometimes
Even
Sentences.
265 · Mar 2016
T-Dog and Nick
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2016
******* used to clown me but now they surround me, my mom tries to ground me i might just slap her or even cap her. dont she know im a rapper
260 · Mar 2015
Wrong.
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2015
You see at the end of
The road Dorothy
Got to go home.

"Just tap your shoes,
And say 'There's no
Place like home.'"

Tap one.
There's no place like home.

Tap two.
There's no place like home.

Tap three.
There's no place like home.


And i'm still
*here.
259 · May 2016
47.
Kathy Dehaven May 2016
47.
Pretty positive that in all of my lives this is how it will be.
I'll just be the Slutty Stripper that has an Alcohol and ******* problem.

It doesn't matter and I know I need to focus on myself right now but it's kind of hard when all of these love songs and heartbreak songs come on the radio and I see happy couples married, engaged, or just dating around and knowing in the back and front of my mind that all I have going for me is a life of Alcohol, *******, Prison, and Jail.

But that's okay.
Because I'd rather suffer this thing I call my life alone than drag someone through it that isn't skilled enough for the journey.
259 · Jun 2016
To. From.
Kathy Dehaven Jun 2016
Im sorry Angel for being a **** friend.
Im sorry mom and jen for being a **** daughter.
Im sorry Daniel and Zach and Robert for being a **** girlfriend.
Im sorry world for being a **** person.
Im sorry Angel for being a sluttly friend.
Im sorry mom and jen for you not being proud of me.
Im sorry Daniel and Zach and Robert for being such a *****.
Im sorry.
I really ******* am.
Im just kind of done.
I give up.
I GIVE UP.
You ******* win...
You
*******
Win...
258 · May 2016
Maybe.
Kathy Dehaven May 2016
Maybe somethings wrong.
I do not believe someone is supposed to think the thoughts that I do.
Blood squirting across the room making a masterpiece of Crimson.
The sound of flesh tearing and bones breaking.
The horrific squeals of creatures as I peel the skin back inch by tethered inch.
Maybes somethings wrong.
Maybe a wires loose.
Maybe it'll be 3 years.
252 · Apr 2016
Why?
Kathy Dehaven Apr 2016
Please answer me. This one, simple ******* question.
Why?
Why am I still here? I'm a piece of ******* nothing that everybody in this ******* world hates. Mom. Sister. Uncle's. Aunts. My whole ******* family.
I ******* hate it. Stop ******* lying to me please.
Just hate me please. Hate me. Hate me. Hate me. Hate me. Hate me. Hate me. Hate me. Hate me. Hate me like I do. Hate me like my family. Treat me like I do myself. Treat me like the piece of nothing I am. Just ******* hate me for THE LOVE OF ******* GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I deserve nothing, because thats what I am.
I deserve nothing, because thats what I am.
I deserve nothing, because thats what I am.
I am nothing.
I am ****.
I deserve to die, and rot away with the worms and bugs of the underground.
I am a hopeless cause that will aspire to nothing.
I want to go into a whole and never come out until I am retracted in a body bag.
Leave me. Hate me. Please.
Hate me so I have nothing.
Hate me because deep deep down thats what you want to do.
Hate me because I will drag you further and further into the hole of nothingness that others call my being.
Hate me because I hate myself.
So now answer me this.
Why?
250 · Mar 2016
Round-A-Bout.
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2016
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.

Okay...
Every single time.
248 · Apr 2016
To You.
Kathy Dehaven Apr 2016
I know it's hard right now, love but take care of yourself
We just have to make it out of this living Hell.
If you hold on, ill hold on too
We can do this together
Trust me, I do.
I know its tempting to take a walk to the Gates
Of the Spirits, but With you alive and well
We can feel Mississippi again.
Just hold on, hold on the Girl with the Blue Bandana.
245 · Jun 2016
Untitled
Kathy Dehaven Jun 2016
What are you? How do you describe yourself?

A burn out. Hoodlum. Someone who will amount to nothing.



I give thanks to you Todd. Ricky. Tommy and those people from the apartments. Thank you. Because now, I can't ******* do a ******* thing without everything that happened, appearing again. Now it's worse, because I feel it all over again.
242 · Mar 2015
Untitled
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2015
" She said sorry often.
She apologized for apologizing too
much.
She said sorry like it was a greeting.
She apologized for everything that goes
wrong.
Because she labelled herself as a
disaster.
She was sorry for not being good
enough.
Because no one ever told her she was
good enough.
No one ever told her that she was
something more than
the mess inside her head and the
tsunami inside her heart.
So all she learned was to apologize for
every single breath she took."
239 · Feb 2016
It's.
Kathy Dehaven Feb 2016
I don't want to think.
It's too much.

I don't want to talk.
It's too much.

I don't want to breathe.
It's too much.

I don't want to walk.
It's too much.

I don't want to write.
It's too much.

I don't want to read.
It's too much.



I don't want to be here.
It's too much.
237 · Mar 2016
Untitled
Kathy Dehaven Mar 2016
I am the loser friend.
I am the one who will never acheive to much.
I am the one who isnt worth much.
Not given much anything.
At least I know.
230 · May 2016
I understand.
Kathy Dehaven May 2016
I understand. Not because you want me to but because in my own way ive been in your place. I know that whatever happens youll be there.
226 · Apr 2016
Untitled
Kathy Dehaven Apr 2016
I CANT ******* DO IT ANY ******* MORE!!!!!!!!
There are to many memories.
There are ******* reminders every ******* where.
I just
goddamnn IT ******* ALL OF IT TO ******* HELL.
i AM A WORTHLESS PIECE OF ******* **** THAT EVEN THE ******* ******* DEVIL WOULDNT DANCE WITH.
SO DO NOT SIT THERE AND ******* TELL ME I AM WORTH EVERYTHING AND THE ******* MOON.
DO NOT COMPARE THE ******* VALUE OF THE MOON TO A DISGUSTING ******* ***** LIKE ME.
** I AM WORTH ******* NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
225 · Feb 2016
Opinion.
Kathy Dehaven Feb 2016
Everybody says the worst haunted houses are the ones with creaky floorboards and broken windows
But I think the worst haunted houses are the ones with the charming smile and brown eyes.
223 · Jun 2016
Untitled
Kathy Dehaven Jun 2016
Death is a dear friend, that I hold close but at bay.

But every night I take a sip of that whiskey and look straight into his eyes and see the happiness of a life worth living.
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