there’s a broken sword and a half sung song next to my grandmothers bed

beneath the sheer white curtains that slow dance hypnotical, shadows live family photos and unfinished books

a sun that sways into the soft orange then swoops to the deep blues and vanishes behind the white walls and glass I’m staring at

while curled in a u holding a white ball of blanketed warmth that snores and radiates history, trauma, love, and strength

the ancestors breathe their fingers in a tired ocean caress down our faces

the radio news is on telling stories of victories and poverty

nana is in my arms fragile

the woman who carried six kids through the dust and desert of broken through the open battlefields to some higher plain of survival

I see her hand, beautiful in its melancholy, perfect white sand dunes of skin, the days laughter still hugging to it

Today she has realized she is powerless over time and her body
So are we all, so are we all.

12/16/10
1115am

Midnight dresses her body
I can't spell her

my name
let me let me touch
her body the waves
of my confusion
i'm reaching for a silhouette
hand shaking

a light from the black ceiling sky
blinding
we r all lost in this hole in the wall in the void
of los angeles
or some imitation citytown in the middle of nowhere is where the heart is
Nowhere
this blackness everywhere
the blak and white liquor poseters
this red couch
the spotlight blinding
I want I want

oh midnight dresses her body
my hand
quivering
to know or lose adulthood
the spotlight on me
her silhouette
the taste of death
&right; when I touch                   She's gone

4/7/11

decomposed by burning flowers
whose jaws sink
teeth’d hearts
  @ 3am
when the back
    sweats
& the lips
      red
     whisper
some
forgotten truth
that vine the body to the stake
    that serenade me to the wake
   soft away   away to sway
    ‘til the sun burns the fog
    & blinds the way
        towards some grey future or
past day
my shining canines         white decay
     through abyss and bliss I smile all the
way in rags & glitter
& furs & pain
a Tuesday morning.    Life starts again

the way that time gets you
a flash dance
a bullet serenade
a drunken butterfly chase.

i'm laughing.  we're all laughing

8/3/10 908pm

i’m  love  
black  death  boy  
sweet  night  
crippled time
swoon away  
our  ma-ma-ma-ma-midnight  
devines the  dust
portrait of us
saint our sweat  
hello lost it
hello love
hello divided eyes
amongst the coils and coals
of our crap heater
of our crap apartment
of our too good feelings
and disappearing world
ur hand slides down my face ........................ ........leather smiles unshaken, confirmed
down my chest towards
some light I ignored
sweaty hand
***** hand
beautiful smile
beautiful teeth you have
the windows shake
the agony of an uncontrollable world
shatter illusions
while filling it with new one’s
I am love
I am love
this is love


mon 228pm
4/5/10

kate crash.....
is dressed as a white trash sailing new york doll in a laundry somewhere on sunset hot and bored smoking dead ends and time ... Wish u were here

I hear music. In my head. At work. To drone out the sounds of the suits and staplers the wilting plastic flower dreams of once so close possibility. A sonnet to the diminishing flame of art that I hide beneath my desk between my legs please keep it alive let me not forget who I am. I mean maybe there's still a yes somewhere down the road a someday. Sing louder. Sing louder I won't disappear today

i came in her mouth
  i can’t stop hurting myself
the patron saint of blood
       self appointed self affliction
  i only want her when she doesn’t want me
   an explosion of pain & misplacedlove
   it’s  4am & I’m lost again
      somewhere too far west
    in this bed
wrapped like a present
  with my legs around her head
& sheets lumped under my
    back
on my back
she caresses my thigh
         down
         she wants something
i don’t have
         me.

the ceiling is blank
         the room bare  & heavy
“where were you born” she asks
     starting to stand
face all wet
time choking the elephants
      hiding in the room
“i don’t  know” I say say                   say
   her eyes fall all over
          the place
she is a wire with a onion bulb head, onyx eyes, tiny fine young delicate hands the kind when i was a small girl i wish i had

“don’t know, don’t know,
i just woke up one day and was”




6/14/11

ur so pretty & mean
    i give u everything
roaring horses by the sea
fields of bronze, my feelings
        off with my shirt
slow over my *******
my head
    blonde & in a puzzle                   
drop
     unbutton my heart
pull off my screens
       on my knees
  if i give u everything
will u love me?




you go so deep
i scream
    the  misunderstandings
    of humanity
in every ******
    i can forget how much
  it hurt to love
        you yesterday



6/12/11

i wear a pretty pink bow
i'm sorry i'm broken
you're broken too
a ***** night we get lost in
playing tumbleweed to the
curbs of nowhere in neon
people trampling on people
i never said i was pretty
but i've got allure

looking out this window
makes me forgive the world for all it's evils
the swirling hunger of the clouds eating up the towering buildings
the glass and steel filled with rich mens papers
filled with broken destiknees
and crocodile teeth
family men lapping the floor for a thrill
a way out of the box
four walls, four walls
ladies that hover behind me in skirts
checking always checking
i can almost see the ocean
i can almost feel the collapse of my heart
breathe
breathe
this is not my world I think
the smell of oil on my fingers
some strangers blood seeping through the papers
a plane flying
another one
taking off
landing
loving
and leaving
look at these hands
in this world of machinery
the frailty
the constant quiver
the pale skin and green veins
the song in the pulse
of constant wondering
this little light
half way up a million floors
of a million rooms
in one little block
where one signature can decide whether 10 thousand people live or not
where the boss goes home and pats his dog
and the monkeys he feed
praise him a god
and me the artist
forever lost
click clack
keys that type
hoping to stop

jagged silk & frog moans
vibrating the speakers
purple lights
a sea of people
the man at the piano
whales on it’s broken teeth
something so flawless
flawless misery

I’m not right
I’m  not right
boots everywhere
the days have disappeared
and here I am
congregating with the past
white hair and crooked faces
smiling
singing along
swaying with all of us
some lost world on a war path
another beautiful night we don’t care
a man leading us into a fairy tale
of something that can never be again.

Getting in cat fights at the ****** bars
Wearing torn dresses and too fast alarms  melody the howls and loose rhythms of heartaches sighs for lost men lost back to their valley bleached wives
Debbie slings her eyes @ detroit who stumbles through time unwanted and adored the door shakes the elevators escaped the beat drapes the gowns and nets and smokey dreams curl around everything...  Here have a drink of me

***** dogs singing to the owls
sirens climbing up the clouds
an orange haze howls and holds the city in
the city that goes on forever
into other cities crumbling into each others arms
laughing at the scurry below
us rats riding on a borrowed fate
hoping for a day when things will slow
to catch our breath and know
what [it] is to be


1/13/11

Just hanging out
Getting ready for work
Maybe I’m too happy to be a poet
Maybe I’m too pretty to be good
Rub some lotion on my hands
Pick my teeth
Don’t use a comb
Life is sweet

7/22/09

biting the walls of lust
hammering my feet in the ground
trying to make sure i'm not too around
so i won't get down
with the boy above


listen to this sound….


Dedicated from the underground….





To you




Please, please please

I only kinda wanna be found












Down
Down
Down



Inside out
Upside down
Boy above
Boy I love
Feel me feeling me to feel you






      underground






5.26.09
1239am
to you
THE UNDERGROUND

There r so many things I don't know
dreams I don't own

                       Swimming
                       in the blue
                      of night

        falling through
                   the holes      in my
                                          head

tripping on the noose
                       of my-mah-memory

sleeping with the spiders
            that sing cobwebs
          in the cracks
                    of the heart

swallowing the dark
                    in spoonfulls of
                             love

                    I find u ...
                     h-h-h-hideing there
everything in this ****** up world
               is suddenly       ok

****** down a faceless hole
of love

      i imprint my chest on the stones
& sledge hammer out the breaken memories
of her

collecting in dark pools by my head
         she says
i’m sorry i cannot leave

the mystery of her legs        (butter)
spread
still deceives me

i sing through the strings in my teeth
       of the pretty shapes
of lies


TANTALIZE

there are no velvet ropes
       from which to climb out

no glowing exit signs from her mouth


i once believed in ___,


but now
i don’t even see
myself

                (fine)
soaked through my    china bones

the pools of her are all I

feel

i rip off my skin & the clouds of my soul
       finally, emptiness     .

i wanna fall inside the black hole of us
lick ur insides and find out why u hurt
know these things that we cannot speak
Feel ur fingers ghost in my memory
        Forever we will be
in eachother a song of mystery
                     A haunted house of love
         Haunt me

So haunt me...

in the wind we tumble and fly
together always
one wing
you and i


4/8/2010

beneath the  dance.   eyes  

a wild  fast  junkway   thrill cry
a bone hand
a porcelain bullet

the moment is caught
this is it
jump off
into her

one night to know
what it’s like
to be
right.  the other kind
rich and fine

find
something of yourself
in the enemy

thighs

crimes

money

lies





money

lies
thighs

crime­s
mon229pm  4/5/10

the nights death
  murmured in his hand
twirling dawn
stars crawl home
gold streaking
     sky
crumbling the
black
i’m on my back
wishing to go back
a finger over my
     mouth.
i won’t shout


2/5/10

today,...........................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.....................................................


.........­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.......
.........................................................­. he broke me

the air full of suicide and mystery
      the sticky kids in the smoke of the flashing lights
Desitny destroyed
  the hunger of the times
  the belief in all or nothing
dripping from their mouths
        Bombs sing
Sink their teeth in the beauty of buildings
              spray brick and teddy bears and useless love stories
                            the guitars start
                            the kids scream
                                                                      the generation left to rot

amongst the carcass'd feast of their ancestry

                            Let the new world begin



5/29/11