so much love to give, so many kisses to send..
and at the end of the day all i can do is pretend.
these eyes are tired of crying and this heart is tired of hurting..
this pain is unbearable..it's so disconcerting.
i think of your voice but no sound comes through..i see your lips moving, but the sound is not you.

UPDATE 2012
*The above poem i started to write a long time ago...when my heart was lost and blind. i guess  never finished because enough was ENOUGH. Glad my eyes were opened..God had a plan for me..a great one, i just didn't know it yet.
My heart was talking up there..and as i read through it a year and a half later, i realize my heart was crying but God was speaking to me at the same time...he made me strong enough to MOVE on. So glad i did..The good Lord had someone else in store for me...someone who can give me ALL of his love and who could receive ALL of mine. NO excuses, no hesitation.. feels good i must say. My kids see a different mom..a happier one... :)

What do you feel when you hear my voice?
Does your mind take you places?

When I hear your voice my soul lightens up,
That hope for living that once was lost
Regains it's strength and all lines are crossed.

Just want to be with you, and walk this earth by your side..
This love for you mi rey I will not hide.

Come walk with me to the end of our days,
The end of that mountain to reach the rays.

Anything is possible with you, you give me strength.
Long roads i'd walk no matter the length..

Wind in my hair,
Sun on my skin...
Can't help to feel what I'm feeling within..

You reaching back,
Caressing my leg...
Don't stop this love,
Don't leave I must beg...

Your smile is a burst of energy
That jumpstarts my heart..
A blank sheet of canvas
Turned into speechless work of art..

When you held my hand,
I was ready to take the world on..
When you kissed my lips,
I felt as if a battle i'd won.

I saw you approach me,
I walked as fast as I could..
"Mi rey is here for me!"
Run? Maybe I should..
So excited didn't know what to do..
My heart was pounding, so many thoughts flying through,
As I walked much closer..mi rey..it wasn't..you :o(

I miss you incredibly,
Even the tone of your voice..
But for all that I must wait,
I don't have a choice.

My heart aches at the thought of your absence..
my skin craves your electrifying touch..
Did you know?

Did you know I want to explore the whole world,
But will mean almost nothing if I don't share it with you?
It will be an incomplete satisfaction..

To me the world makes more sense when you're around..
How so? I look at things in a whole new way, a more positive way..
That gray cloud around my world disappears..
Did you know you have that impact on me?

Hopefully you better understand why I want you to walk this earth with me..maybe one day ill get the chance to do so..
Why wouldn't I want you mi rey? You are perfect..did you know?

Your intelligence and your drive fascinates me..
The way you speak and the way you smiled at me,
Nearly knocks me off my feet..did you know?

Regardless of your past and what you've done, I still admire you.
No matter how horrific it may be..did you know that when you walked beside me I wasn't afraid of the world anymore?

Did you know, I'm in love?