i don't know why but I decided to write
as and i opened up my notes and began to think about what to say,
after a few seconds your name came up on my screen for the first time in a very long time
coincident or not? all my other poems were about you
ive tried replacing what you ripped out inside of me with alcohol and drugs
i tried to find a new addiction, ****** another guy even
but it always has been and will be you, you're the one i want to be with
i could of seen us together for years, starting a family even
but now you are going down a bad path and I wish I could save you from it
I loved you and that's pretty much how it is and always will be
Until I can find a new addiction that will satisfy me like you did

i miss you R

Intoxicated and burnt, you looked like my past. The bruising memories and stories I tried to make last.

Rising from your ashes I have changed, threw away the narcotics and washed off the stains.

Comfortable and warm, he felt like the sun. He looks like my future and maybe the one.

you can drain the life out of me
but alcohol will always remain in my veins

****

I could take away all our memories
Take another shot to forget
I could run away into the trees
Tell the story of how we met

Get so blind drunk I end up in a bed
Telling a stranger of how my heart was bleeding
Tell myself what has happened is all done and said
Cry so much I find myself missing

I tried to forget your eyes and lips
The promise you made before we did it
I still haven't told anyone, your hands were on my hips
It wasn't until after, when my feelings hit

You effect me in every way, it's not just my heart
My head keeps spinning and I'm hiding in the dark
You've thrown me away and I'm tearing apart
Let's take this back to the first time in the park

I've changed who I'm talking about
I've had too much heart break for my own good
All I know is that I'm filled with constant doubt
You broke me apart and I knew you would

****** whispers into my ear,
'come closer, I want you here'
pulls me closer and our lips first touch
his tongue is rough, but it's not enough
hands grabbing my waist, my *******
don't stop now, no time for rest
I feel it against me, our bodies grinding,
he lifts up my leg, were in perfect timing
he pulls me close and slides it in,
back and forth, my head starts to spin
slow or fast
I want this to last
all night long
this is where we belong

black tear drops
bleeding heart stops
time to say goodbye
for the last time