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Jessica Crandall Aug 2014
Exclusive, and derisive too
knives cutting the me from myself
wounding and harsh

Tentative and unsure
nervously escaping
a quiet animal, frozen in its tracks

Open and loud
free from all constraint, all restraint
wild and uncaring
joyful surrendering to timeless emotion

A secret
a shared whisper that
lovingly envelops and accepts
all those caught in its embrace

Gratifying too
uplifting and justifying
a reassuring wave with a healing nature
to strengthen those it carries away

A unique expression of character
and a reflection of the human soul
This is rhythm, truth, revelation.
This Is Laughter.
Jessica Crandall Aug 2014
I suffered
depressed.
I wanted
sleep.
A still place.
This.
My utter hell.
I couldn’t believe.
I, a woman,
a woman they told,
to find, find the life-
my sleeping baby.
The mind had cried,
I was not alive.
The month
was over.
They later said
over all,
the miscarriage
was
for
the
best.
Don't even remember what this exercise required...but I still like it.
Jessica Crandall Aug 2014
The room resounds with silence
pressing against my ears.
There are no footsteps here,
no sounds of coughing, of shuffling,
of presence.
The clanking of pans does not
come through the door from the kitchen
and the cold makes me shiver.
No person is there to wrap their arms around me,
to warm my bare shoulders.
No comforting arms open to collapse into,
to cry into,
no breathing to fall asleep listening to.
The dust collects on the rocking chair in the corner
and the silence,
the silence resounds in the room
pressing against my ears.
Jessica Crandall Aug 2014
What I Want

I want to be
a breath eternized,
a harmonious duel
of notes colliding;
a deep hum like rain pounding on your roof.
I want to be
your familial need,
your strong cavalier,
and yet impuissant without caring.
I want to be
the sound of your seascape and
the harrowing experience
that brings your feet slapping again on my floor;
the sublimation that makes
me your chéri once again.
I want to be your car whizzing
through the slush on my road,
and your air as you breathe in slumber.
I want to be your remembrance.
But this? This is just doggerel my love,
empty tapping on a darkened window.


The Dance…

The sound of harmonizing guitars fills my dreams,
a sound to eternize in my memory.
Their duel of fancy is poetry sounded
in the chalet of pressing bodies.
Feet slap the floor to the sound,
in the familial dance of human experience.
The murmer of voices are impuissant when faced
with the strength of those strumming guitars.
Cars whizzing through the slush
announce the departure of
those with faces trapped in a cavalier facade.
For the rest,
the music sublimates the reason of the mind,
driving out thought like the sound of breathing in the night.
The doggerel of the world is left at the door
and the snuffy exterior of life is quickly forgotten.
Only the music remains,
its meaning an elusive longing,
and the desire to dance until the sun
drives out the shadows.
Using random words and sounds, 2 poems were born.  Quirky, but I like them.
Jessica Crandall Aug 2014
It was after some stupid fight
that I was walking along,
the sun warm on my face,
and I stumbled upon a note.
I paused and looked, just in case
the one who dropped it was still in sight,

but no one was around.
Curious beyond reason, I stared;
frozen by an inner debate.
Caution urged me to leave it there
but caution was never my strongest trait,
so I picked up this note I had found.

I looked it over, it being completely plain
and I wondered if I should open it.
Perhaps it contained something better left unseen;
a deep, dark, forgotten secret
Or something worse, sick and obscene.
Perhaps something evil or utterly profane.

But there was a chance it was something sweet;
a note of passion and honesty.
A beautiful expression of love unending,
a note of caring, belonging, and need.
A lover’s carefully worded longing
meant to meld two souls into one complete.

Or it could be a note of sorrow;
a soul isolated in feelings of solitude
crying out in desperate need.
A final word to the world before
from themselves they allow to bleed
their every promise of tomorrow.

By then the temptation was much too great.
I wanted to know the truth of this note.
I had to see what was inside-
treasure map, words of anger or of promise,
whether truth, lies, of those living or those who have died,
this note was mine now, my secret link to fate.

Slowly I opened it, hardly breathing at all.
There lay the words I’d been dying to see,
each printed with neat deliberation.
Milk, eggs, bread, celery…
Disappointed, I let the note fall.
Jessica Crandall Aug 2014
I saw all the stars in the sky last night

As I was tenderly rocked to my sleep

I sat waiting until the morning's light

While many men slumbered under my keep



I am faster than any man who lives

I speak to the water, my mighty lord

All with me hear the whispers the wind gives

I have harbored gold, net, pirate, and sword



Many have sought adventure and found me

All my enemies see me as a threat

I am the sovereign of storm and sea

Have you found out who, or what, I am yet?



Into, out of, and through the waves I dip

I am the master of all seas, the ship
Haha, back in high school we had to write sonnets.  Thought it deserved a shout-out.  #tbt
Jessica Crandall Aug 2014
I was listening to a song that reminded me of you
and I missed it when you called out my name
I was concentrating on looking cute and not falling on my face
and I missed the moment when you would have caught me
I was waiting for you to come speak to me
and I missed the perfect chance to talk to you
I wanted you to hold me but didn't want to look desperate
and I sent you all of the wrong signals
I waited for you where I knew you were sure to walk by
and I missed it when you went looking for me
I was desperate to see you
and yet terrified of meeting your eyes
I thought I was being so obvious whenever I was around you
and I missed it when everything when right over your head
I thought you didn't want me
and I didn't see the longing in your eyes
I knew in my heart your were aching for somebody else
and in my pain, I never saw the pain I was causing you
I was preoccupied with everything going on
and I missed your hand reaching for mine
I wanted you to ask me to dance
and so I never took my turn around the floor
I never knew what to say around you
and I made you believe I didn't care

I know that I've been maddening, frustrating, confusing, and more
but still, you never gave up on me, gave up on us
I'm so thankful for your persistence, and patience too
we are together now- because of you
I debated even sharing this one...but just because it's not true for me now, doesn't mean it won't be true for someone else.
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