I breathe in deeply
behind your ears
and down the nape of your neck
as you shiver
notes of jasmine and violet both
gently fading as your
perfume slowly drifts

And then, with your arms
stretched above your head
I take you in again
sweet and seraphina
soft skin sensual
nothing rolled on to obscure
Your overtones
Lush and wild

And on your stomach,
tanned and curved
are hints of coconut from oil spread,
with soft lavender lingering from
a salty scrub, residue from
a morning bath
aphrodisiactic elixer
it draws me in

And then, in the expiration of anonymity
your truest nature comes to light
Scent before taste, I inhale
citrus and sandalwood
salted and sacred
ancient and esoteric
unbridled symmetry
dew gathering
with flavor so rich
it drips from your canyons
As are we, both swept away

You ask of others
what you are not willing to do
each time you ask another to love you
when you do not yet love yourself
(For if you did, you would not ask)

And yet each day I watch you wander,
walking the lines of someone else’s shores
searching for a foothold among rocks and sand

Though within you there are boundless oceans
with light and hues you’ve not even yet imagined
that remain completely unexplored

You’ve not begun to swim their depths
as you are too busy trolling the shallows
of someone else’s refracted image
of the self that they don’t know

Worry not about painting the sky
with someone else’s color
and find now your own palette -
the one that is yours uniquely
not yet discovered, for it will
only be found when you
find it within your self

Journey within and you will see that
the kingdoms that you are seeking are
also seeking you

You are the ultimate mystery of this lifetime
the grandest adventure of them all
the undiscovered continent hiding in plain sight

Love has not abandoned you
it is within you waiting to be discovered
please stop asking others why they won’t love you
And start asking that of yourself

I can't see you, but I see you
I don't know you but I know you
When you let me I will love you
just as deeply as you love yourself
and we will swim your oceans together

Love does not make you vulnerable,
it makes you invincible

You live the first half of your life looking forward,
And the second half looking back
When my love, will you live with me
here in the sun,
eyes wide open,
clothes half off,
top all the way down

dance with me, dance with me now,
**** the fears, and all the lies you’ve told
I’m standing naked in the daylight,
fluorescent and dangerous,
ferociously loyal,
fiercely independent
and totally in love

Let the ground shake, the glass shatter,
be something they don’t understand
Stand for yourself and yourself alone,
Close your eyes,
open your heart
and just ******* let go
You won’t need me to catch you but you know I will


I’ll be your forever boy
But not from the sidelines
Bold, in the center of the ring, gloves off
And turned on simply by the way you smell

Most people spend the first half of their lives looking forward
And the second half looking back
But I am leaving here at 3:00 p.m.

Meet me at the corner of freedom and forever
Sunglasses on, and the rear view mirror will be in pieces

I’ll slow down, but I won’t stop
Then again, you won’t need me to
Just close your eyes,
cross your heart
And leap

There were more than 200 people
at the party, spread out
across my lawn,
from dusk to nearly dawn,
swirling in colorful pockets
of conversation.

Undetected,
one of them left:   ❤️ U  
out of soap, on my bathroom mirror.  

At first I thought perhaps that it was you.
And then, all at once, I realized that it was me.  
It was finally me.
Thus, I drifted off to sleep.

You are that moment

Betwixt blinding light
and deafening sound

That moment

Suspended mid air, particles standing on edge

You are the silence swarmed with anticipation,

Ephemeral, yet eternal

A moment, a lifetime,
how different are they, I can’t know

So bright, beautiful,
Dangerously so,

and then, the inevitable boom

Though I’ve not yet met you,

I am here

in between the flash and the bang
where you’ll find me

When the sun doth shine upon the road
it's difficult to see where water will gather in heavy rain, more so for those that choose not to look

Where it will deepen to a depth that could take the life of the careless driver

No one lingers on thoughts of the places where gaps in the terrain will collect drops into a torrent when they're hurrying on a sunny day

But there are traces none the less, hints,
like the quiet voice urging you to change direction,
let him go,
that you can only save yourself,
the voice you so casually ignore,
before the rain

But I promise you my love,
the clouds are gathering,
please take care,
and turn the wheel

That's what I created, what I fell in love with, and of which I could not let go.   What funny creatures are we that miss things we only imagined to be |

And then one morning you we’re gone…

No scent
No stitch
No remnant or sound
No thoughts of you demanding the attention of my emotional landscape
No empty feeling left in my chest
No bill come due

Nothing left but the warmth,
the beauty of what we shared
nestled deeply enough within me as if to say,

‘Now you’re free to hold on to that which you needed to experience,
without burning your hands on the memories’

your heart expanded,
your lessons learned
all accounts are settled


It was morning
and I was alone
with nothing,
nothing but the shimmering bloom
of a brand new day

At first,

It’s barely an itch.

Slowly it worsens.

You drown it in wine.

It learns to swim.

You *******.

It still smolders.

It burns.

And then,

You add gasoline

And rage along side of it

Inevitability.

You took a lover

But wanted a savior

To make you whole.

To complete you.

And when he was only a lover

You began to hate him

For not being what he never was

What you tried to make him

He couldn’t save you

Only you can.

And when you do,

you’ll be ready for a lover.

One that’s already saved himself

Instead of two halves

You’ll be two wholes

Through which light will shine

Gripping tightly, my left hand ‘round the sharp blade of a knife
while gently caressing your hair with the other

I’ve tried so hard to hold on to you without losing myself

I’ve twisted and turned reality, railing against the tide
desperately searching for a way
a way to make something not what it actually is
like an alchemist off the rails, high on vapor

And yet finally, with the futility of it all sublimely amusing
the pain finally searing beyond my ability to tolerate,
I must finally come to terms with the meaning of goodbye

Not goodbye as in ‘maybe someday’
or goodbye as in ‘until we meet again’
Goodbye with a capital G, with finality, with certainty

And not the first goodbye, or one of many, rather
The last goodbye, the one from which there is no return trip

I loved you as best I could, and with abandon
But in the end, I must choose myself

I must choose my own life, and if that means killing
the fetus of our metaphoric future, then so be it

There can be nothing left.  Scorched earth.  
No glimmer of hope, not a grain of sand
We aren’t tragic heroes, we’re just tragic

I won’t turn back as I walk away,
even so briefly, to look in your direction

I won’t unintentionally find my way
onto your street for an accidental encounter
I won’t consciously unconsciously keep you hanging
to ease my fear

Find a lover or don’t
Find another, don’t
Either way I choose me this time, for the first time. Ever.

Not just good day sir,

Goodbye

My beloveds,

Please stop seeking me out
in the eyes of every stranger whose form you find appealing
In every evening’s masquerade, serenaded by dime store boom boom playing through bar room speakers

Release the idea that I’m somehow hiding inside of the lover to whom you’ve chained yourself, just waiting for you to release me from a hidden tower

I’m not.

It breaks my heart to watch your aimless searching, pressing up against writhing bodies, then torturing yourself with the notion that you somehow had the one that got away

You didn’t.

Forgive yourself the notion that your sole purpose in this lifetime is to seek someone with whom to share it as it only leaves you searching in places that I simply can not be found.

I am not the destination, I am the journey.  

I am not the answer, I am the question.

I will not find you the moment that you stop looking for me.  
I will find you the moment that you find yourself,
Somewhere along the path that leads you to who you might become 
should you begin to walk it

You seem to think that somehow we are playing hide and go seek, 
and that I am right behind the chair, eternally eluding you

But the truth is I am somewhere down the path between where you started and your potential, while you’ve not even left the living room

You did not come here seeking love.  
You are love and you came here seeking answers. 
Please start asking the questions. 
Who are you?  
What do you want?  
Why are you here? 
Why did you come?
What might you become should you decide to become it?

You, the all powerful, that came to human form, born into the maelstrom to learn, to teach, to be, 
and yes, even to love, 
though you knew that you would suffer, 
You have forgotten who you are and why you came

Brave one, made of light,
you don’t need to look any further to find me.  
You are me and I am you. 
And once you’ve left this form 
you will again remember that you are love and light 
and have never and will never be alone.

But, if only you could wake up while you’re still here, 
then yes, you could change the world.  
You would bend the universe.
And that which you are looking for would find you, 
undistracted, unrestrained, and beautiful, 
at which point I will slip my hand into yours 
and then you won’t remember a moment before I arrived.

Please stop seeking me out in the eyes of every stranger whose form you find appealing

Your life is calling.  
Please pick it up.  

You’ll find me on the other end of the line.

Imagine for a moment 
that you could make love to yourself 
Not single handedly, but in full
body on body, legs intertwined, 
fingers interlaced 

Now my love, 
as you began,
what if she (you)
asked yourself to harm her.
Would you comply?

Would you pull on your own beautiful hair, 
the hair that you waited so very long to grow, 
hard enough to make her cry, 

Would you dig your nails 
into the soft skin 
that for years and years 
you only wanted to be unblemished

Would you, smack so hard, 
your unprotected places, 
round and soft, 
and tighten cuffs until 
they cut in to your wrists, 
wrists that always just wanted 
to be gently held while 
you crossed the street 
when you were so small 
you couldn't see over the hoods of cars 

Would you succumb to being 
the brutal abuser of your second self?


Or would you see my love, 
would you see that the you 
that is asking to be hurt, 
is already hurting so very much

So much so that 
she's confused pain with love 
that she's so far lost
that she can only find her ****** 
when being punished for things 
she has not done, 


What if instead 
you ran your hands through her hair, 
and told her what you have
both been longing to hear. 

That you're not alone. 
That you have yourself, 
and that she doesn't 
to abused to come

Could you both loosen your grip 
so that your broken model of love and *** 
can be glued back into place 

a place where you're ****** 
is a tidal wave of beauty 
instead of a shameful corner
where it hides today


You are perfect my love. 
And you are beautiful.  
And you don't need to be punished. 
 
You don't need your hair pulled to know that you are real,
 that you are alive and that you are deserving of love,
 love that you're withholding from yourself and that only you can give. 

There is a new story for you now.   
And if you are so inclined
It’s time to start a new

Reach a soft hand down between your legs
and feel yourself begin to swell 
to fill your *** with warmth 
while you move your hand in gentle rhythms 

Let the warmth begin to grow 
and your breath to deepen 
while you replace your fantasies of hate 
with an undeniable love 
so that you never again 
let some *****-breathed 
and undeserving stranger 
to abuse your beautiful body

Make love to yourself.   
and when the warmth 
breaks open and streams down your legs 
you’ll finally feel where love and ***
are truly meant to overlap, 
disappear into the vanishing point, 
burst out with laughter 
and then don't let anyone touch a hair 
on your beautiful head ever again.  
You don't need the pain anymore.  
You, my love, are free.

With sunrise came a hunger

So I,
I bit deeply into the peach,
that you’d left uncovered
on the bed

And,
drank the juice
sweet and warm
on my tongue
And down by throat

While you,
you seemed delighted
at how quickly
breakfast came

Then
suddenly famished,
took the fruit
all the way
into your mouth
that you’d not finished
the night before

But,
rather than have you
swallow whole,
and risk
choking on
too big a bite,
I pulled you close
sinking easily into
the unfinished peach,
dripping wet on the sheets,
while sharing the taste
on both our lips

Unconcerned with the mess
we devoured with abandon
while you,
without warning
****** your fingers
into my watermelon
roaring with delight

Apples,
then melons
then cherries,
tearing right
through every bunch

Then,
deciding not to waste the seeds,
we moved instead
straight on to lunch

In bright light, your demons look absurd,
dressed in cheap costume, seams showing,
little more than a sheet with holes to make the eyes,

Yet in the dark, they terrify,
prey on your fears,
tear through your defenses,
twisting your desires into your identity
feeding lies back on a loop
“No one will ever love you”
“You’ve already lost the one”
“How pathetic you are”
“She’s was the only and she is gone”
“He’s the only one that could make you come”
“How fat you are, or you’re too skinny”


And you believing them,  
lay down curled in their scaley arms
convinced that they are silk,
while they devour your
beautiful, perfect center,
confusing intimacy with pain,
trust with submission
getting off on your underworld fantasy
as you plan the eulogy
for your own funeral


In the light, you can see
the victim hood that you wear,
of your own design,
sewn by your hand
and pulled tight
over your eyes

With a gentle gesture
you can slide it up above your soft sensitive lenses
and recognize just how alone you’re not,
like a child who hides their eyes
and believe themselves to have disappeared

Love has not abandoned you,
you my love have chosen to share
your unprotected heart with
people and places,
substances and situations that do not serve you


Yet you’re so **** beautiful,
if you could see your
own true form you’d weep
for it’s too much to behold and yet
you lay with leeches willingly;

you’d laugh at the tears your crying
over some silly boy or girl, who, more lost than you,
did you the deepest favor by checking out of the
twisted motel that you’ve fashioned for yourself

She’s not the only one that can make you happy,
he’s not the only one that can make you come;

you’ve confused lust
and desperation with love,
as the dark is so want to make you do

My love; you’ve arrived here,
in a body that is beautiful,
with a gorgeous mind
and a future, that if you choose, can be so bright

I know it’s hard to leave dark places,
having left many of my own
but trust me on this accord,
leave your hood upon the floor,
and though your demons will thrash and scream
politely suggest they **** themselves as you twist the handle on the blinds  and let the light shine brightly in

We need you out here in the light where demons are nothing more
than sheets on springs that will never touch your light again

We see you beautiful, just as you should see yourself.

I fell in love with you in metaphors. Having never seen you, but reading every word you write.

The way you dangle your participles, naked and raw, yet still soft and round, then casually leave unfinished sentences as if to say, please, finish me as you will

You tempt with your soft parentheses, tightly wrapped around my waist, the words they squeeze rubbing up against the curves

Your similes, a sideways smile, like the cat, canary gone, pull me closer until your delicate punctuation is so warm, so wet, I can feel it pressed against me, you alliterate, such sweet surrender, so sublime, and I succumb

I want you now in rhyme, in verse, in prose, in  sweet haiku

     'where in so few words
you trace the shape of my heart
         and then (somehow) paint its hue'


I fell in love with all your metaphors, the way your sentence structure feels pressed hard against my body, devilishly running on so that I'll follow ,your undulating syllables, your firm round letters, your tight sweet semi-colon, that no common comma could replace.

I taught you too well the siren song that wins my heart

You were a fastidious student,
now as the piper, play each note to perfection

But try as a I might,
I can not convince myself to mistake your song for love
to follow where you lead

I can not unsee the cracks in the plaster
that show through in the daylight

Or betray myself once more,
as I have so many times in the past

Though I appreciate how hard you’ve tried
This is where I must leave you

And my boat finally settles

It floats listlessly but without disruption

I lay, eyes closed, sleepless

four daiquiris deep, You call

Four daiquiris deep you disappear

And they return

Act Accordingly

Forget that which was said

and that which was done

by whom for what and why

and perhaps embrace

even  within yourself

that which you have not loved


squeeze,

      from every last second

a joy that drips

                 down your hands

as it over flows  

                     your cup

because with so little time

left

there is no concern of tomorrow

or yesterday


what freedom you now have



Today is your last

act accordingly

(even if it isn't)

She said ‘I love you’ into the phone.  

But it wasn’t the perfunctory close to a call

Or to illicit an echoed response

I love you;

She emphasized the love and instead of allowing the you to trail off indiscriminately,

she held it up as if to say, it’s you that I love, and no other.

I love you;

Though she didn’t emphasize the I, she didn’t need to, would never have to

so long as the love was so authentic.  So much so that  she even surprised herself

owing more to a tidal wave than a creeping up on

I love you

nearly swept her away as she was walking up the stairs from the cafe

back into the quad, sun shinning, and breeze gentle

I love you wasn’t the end of the call, it was but the beginning

many sunrises have past and finally
the demons have found their rest such that
I can once again appreciate-

the shattered glass, blood red wine
MDMA on the patio
You, before you broke into a thousand pieces
Brilliant sunrises
forgotten revelry
All those naked people we never really knew
Tearing at ourselves
Beauty, purple like bruises  
Black out curtains
gnashing teeth
nail torn skin
Losing you, finding myself
All before the appetizers arrived


At 99, my grandmother told me the only regrets she had
were the things she never did

she would have loved all the tourniquets and lace

Make angels of butterflies
and diamonds of stars
and you will see that you
are already an alchemist

Turn wind-song to symphony
and rain drops to honey
and you will grasp that you
are already a magician

Make gold from the sunlight
and silver from moon
and you will know that you
are already a sage

Turn silence to reverence
and  solitude to strength
and you will sense that you
are already a prophet

But

Make lessons of missteps
and laughter of regret
and you will be welcomed
to walk among the gods

You are the midnight sky above me

Your body stretched out like a canvas
your arms branches,
your legs roots wrapped around me 
strong and sturdy
yet giving
as the wind swirls in gusts around us

Your eyes,
silver pools of moonlight
reflecting, wordlessly, breathlessly but not restlessly
I deepen inside of you

Our hands entwined, extensions of the other,
beauty unrestrained you reach deeper into me,  

Your hair brushing lightly against my chest,
a smile erupting from your lips and a laugh,
sweet surrender in your arms

You are my love,
I’ve known you since I’ve known what knowing is
and knew that there was someone I once knew that I would know again

I loved you since love was born
under a new born sky near a gentle moon
not jealous of the stars but rather loved by them

And so it came to pass that yesterday was today and today was finally tomorrow
but not before we danced along the shoreline stardust trailing in the wind and on the sand behind us, beneath us

Windswept kisses, lightly salted on your lips as they part mine, as we know assuredly that we never will

Erstwhile, the morning came a new.  
Yet you, in your self imposed blindness,
failed to see the brilliance of the sunrise.
This being the lessor of two tragedies,
as the light within you, both brighter
and eternal remains equally unnoticed.

I know brave one.

I know 11 betrayed your trust

I know 12 broke your body

I know 13 cracked your heart

I know brave one.

I know how hard you try even so.

I know how you wipe your nose and your eyes and straighten your shirt to look less on the outside how you feel on the inside.

I know how hard you work to stop your lower lip from quivering when you feel emotions that are bigger than you are, that could fill the sky.

I know brave one; I know.

I know how hard you try to be strong; sometimes so hard that you convince yourself that the angry person in the mirror is you.

I know how cruel the world can be and how your soft petals have been torn from your rose colored heart

I know my love.

I know that you can’t see me right now

I know that you  you can’t hear my voice

But I’m right here beside you.

My arm is around your shoulder.

You are not alone.

You’ve never been alone.

Even in the darkest moments where they tore at your hair, your clothing, your soul

I know you think they took things from you that you can’t get back.

I know.

It’s ok brave one.

There’s no shame here.

No need to hide your face, to bury your tears

I know the places you’ve been, the things you’ve done

I know everything you’ve done.

And I love you all the more for it

I know the wall you’ve built.

I know the chains you’ve fashioned.

I know.

I know the love that you’re looking for, to make you feel better, to feel whole.

I know how you long for it, crave it.

And I know that the more you look for it the further away it seems to be.

I know.

You are not alone.  

Each of our stories is different, and yet they are the same.

Our young hearts have all been twisted.

Our soft parts have all been scarred.

I wish that I could scoop you up in all those moments and hold you close to me no matter what they were doing

You are brave my little one.

Brave to have come here at all, to have agreed to live this life, to take these beatings for us all.

And  if you could see yourself clearly you’d cry at the depth of your own beauty and
Shade your eyes from the shimmer of your light.

You’d be devastated by your own depth and strength

You’d be even braver than you already are.

I know brave one.

And one day perhaps you will love you the way that I do, for I am you.  

And I love you Unconditionally.

I don't want you to bother
building up a thick lather,
your shower-soaped hand
moving between your legs,
then reaching the long-way round to
spread yourself wide open, bending forward
just so that you can drag the steel edge of a razor across
your soft skin

I’ve never stood
in a field of wild flowers and
thought it to look overgrown

You don’t need a single drop of perfume
on your *******, near your *** or on
your sheer white tank as I don’t mind
the taste or scent
of your sweat,
dripping
from your summer skin,
glistening in the
afternoon heat.

No need to burn
your soft long locks between
two tongs,
to pull them taut, or blow them dry
to make them straight.

Your curls,
untamed and  
and unpredictable
need no refinement;
I'll follow them as they
twist and turn

I want you my love,
unvarnished,
unapologetic,
unfinished,
unrealistic,
and most
assuredly
unshaven.

This was your plan; never mine
to leave me here in my divine so
sure that I would find my own way out

You waited though, at your own peril,
till I proved to be sure footed and fastly stead

Though I missed more than I could bear
I find you still now everywhere

Perhaps, I said.
But first, there's something
I must ask of you.  

Wrap one arm across your chest and embrace
the shoulder with the scar you  hide.  
With the other, place your  hand,
ever so gently, on your belly,
too soft though you think it is

Whisper now, but not for me, or any other
Just for you.  Whisper what you've been
withholding from yourself these many years

'I love you'  and not the you that you pretend to be, or the you you think someone else will love.  

The you, that is so delicate and beautiful, a tiger and a lamb.  The you who only wants you to notice the way your laughter sounds like sunshine,  the you that doesn't understand why you give yourself away to everyone else.  The one who loves you most.

'I love you' to the only one that if you truly love, will set you free to chase the wind and drink the rain from the sky with abandon.

Love the you that has suffered by your side with every choice, compelled by fear, that lead you places you knew better than to go, following beautiful creatures into the dark

Please, embrace yourself now,  give the love that you deserve, that you've spilled like wine along your path but never sipped.  

And when you have, you'll find me out beneath the stars lying in the grass.

I am unconstrained

Tearing my shirt at the chest,
the sun, rippling and warm upon my flesh,
if I am too much, too raw to see,
avert your gaze, lest go blind


I am Undefinable

For I am the poet and the muse
the stamen and the *****,
both sword and soft center
lucid, vivid and lusciously alive


I am unrelenting

Though darkness wields a mighty sword,
it's no match for the golden light
streaming from beneath my skin
in energetic symphony


I am unencumbered

No lovers mischief or betrayal
can cast even the smallest shadow
upon the sun in which I stand
For mine-own's the truest love of all



I am unclothed

All apology in tatters on the floor
Just the scent of sweat and *** and light
Sweet and gentleness unending,
painted boldly, scars and all
with brushes fashioned from the stars


I am untethered

And none but me shall shape this tale
the architect of my design
will is free and has grown strong
no serpents tongue may guide my way


I am unending,

Powered blue and lily white
I wear my scarlet letter like a crown
chartuse center, vivid and soaring,
Sipping moonlight from my hand


I am unafriad, as of yet unwritten

And should you so choose,

I am you

Let's disappear
       like clouds
            after the rain
                   Tween earth and sky,
                            there is but you and I

We are the poets

The lovers, the fighters,
searching for truth, gasping for air
Tearing down walls, dancing through sorrow
Working our way through collective pain while standing on the edge of the cold hard mouth of the world


We are the dreamers

Pen in hand, heart on sleeve
Laying ourselves bare, tattooed with words
hearts beating in iambic pentameter;
wounds bleeding ink
Almost broken, nearly ****** yet driven by the indefatigable resilience to heal, syllable by syllable


We are the brave

Shining light in our darkest rooms
Stories of our catastrophic follies
Revealing in verse our deepest secrets, our greatest fears
Standing naked and wet on ice-cold tile in front of an unforgiving mirror yet unwilling to break the stare


We are misunderstood

Hopeless romantics in broken-hearted clothing
Teary eyed but vision clear
Laughing together, crying alone
Gnashing our teeth but holding steady our hand on the rudder, gently guiding the soul of the world


We are the witness and the witnessed

When the story of the world has been told
And the sun has set
a record of all that we have written will be discovered
And in that sacred text, the story of just how inexpressibly beautiful every single moment of our lives have been

We are the poets - never. stop.

For a thousand days
And for a thousand more
If she could not recall

That she was the warmth of the world
The light that shone upon Birthday mornings,
lazy afternoons, and first time meetings of lovers yet to be

Would she not still be the sun?
Would she not still be as bright?
Would she not still be the brilliant possibility of tomorrow rising?

What then, if the sun forgot?
It would still be the Sun

As it is with you

It doesn't happen very often any more
But at times
The darkness calls
And I, feeling pulled
Betray my better self in favor of
A temporary respite from the loneliness.  
And though the path I'm on isn't perfectly straight, it's perfectly imperfect in all its human messiness

And it's beautiful, for all of our madness comes
from within, as so does our exquisiteness.

If darkness calls on you, and you find yourself
Unable to resist, I will love you just the same
in the morning, as we are more brothers, lovers, sisters than we are distant cousins.  

And you are not the darkness
You are not the pain
You're the seer and the seen
And it's not always easy
to refuse the mad hatter's offer for tea

When next love knocks upon my door
I'll invite her in with warm regard
and offer her a cup of tea
as we make introductions

When next love knocks upon my door
I'll not rush her or make haste
but rather let the time unfold
as naturally as ocean tides

The next time love knocks on my door
I’ll set aside all expectation
like children dancing in the rain
happy just to be alive

When next love knocks upon my door
I’ll find a way to let her know
that while I’ve not been waiting for her
I’m happy she’s arrived
she’ll find someone that loves themselves
absolving her of great demands
save for just a moonlit dance

When next love knocks upon my door
I'll read her verses that I've written
and sing her songs forged by my hands
to make the shape of my heart plain

If love decides that she will stay,
not for the night, for ever more
I’ll love both wisely and too well
And remove the knocker from my door

Why must I make my poem rhyme
she scoffed as though it was a crime

Seven and three quarter years
beneath her belt, she held back tears


Because, the teacher slowly said,
it's how it's done and how it's read

Now finish please and when you're done
off to recess quickly run


'But what if what they've done is wrong'
her body small, but head so strong

The foot she stomped sized merely three
her ribbon tied so carelessly


What ever do you mean my child?
And what is making you so wild?

A poem rhymes a bird it flies
but not a chicken, though hard it tries


Now tell me what's got in to you?
What is it that you want to do?

What are these words of which you speak?
That make you make the floor boards creek?

That make raise your voice to me?
The one who knows how things should be!


The little girl walked to her chair
Her poem waiting for her there

And tried to see the paper clear
though far she could, could not see near


And when she spoke her words aloud,
she stood so tall, and looked so proud

'My teacher is the greatest, the best I've ever had, I love her and she is  the nicest and most smart'
        the young girl cried with all her heart.


The teachers eyes welled up with tears
having spent a hundred thankless years

Wiping noses and reprimanding,
with parents always so demanding


And looking round the empty room,
it suddenly lost all it's gloom

She picked up the girl and held her near,
' To hell with all the rules my dear'

And from her apple took a bite,
and said I was wrong and you were correct

In the end, they were all self-inflicted.
It was a just question of who I asked to hold the knife |

You did not catch me when I leapt

and so I met my self in full

then leant my self a warm embrace

and laid down in the moonlight's gaze


You did not catch me when I leapt

but then never were you meant to

How funny such a notion is

mistaking caught for love


And so I danced there with my self

the first time in so many moons

It seems that I’d forgotten

just how lovely that can be


I belly laughed for days on end

and held my self as we both cried

I'd found the arms I'd so long missed

While waiting for the sun to rise


You did not catch me when I leapt

And so you gave the greatest gift

returning what I’d long since lost

and forgotten that I’d had

Loquacious and Lascivious, a most distracting combination
You’ve driven me, pitch black, headlights off,
into twisted metal heaps of distraction

And yet, it is not me, at least not me alone
There is a sense, from where I know not,
that these thoughts I think are not mine own
That by some impossibility an interloper
has managed to tap in to my frequency
And subjugate my better self in favor of foreign imprints,
dark and ******, dripping blood that spells my name

How is it that you have arrived,
or perhaps the better question is
how long have you been here
How many moons has it been
like a spider creeps
that my thoughts have not been from myself conceived

Claws dug in from where do you perch,
fishing with ****** bait until you find the strain that draws me in
Infects me wherein I add combustion to your dégagé,
and seek out satisfaction dark and base
at which point your needle ******
you  mainline the light from my veins
while I am lost in pull and ******

I really must commend you for such a charade
that has been for so long captivating,
adding darkness where light would grow

But we must now part ways, for I am tired of this game,
and have matters of importance that do not include a blooming rose,
flush with blood from a thorny bush that you have sewn

Adieu, I pray that you find no safe landing
inside the gentle mind of your next victim
though you have known me more intimately than most I’ve known
You know me not at all

|

The moment arose, less like a siren, than a sunrise
And I, I began to confess

Not to a lover, or a priest, or to the lover of a priest
Instead to a rain soaked stranger sitting beside me
who’s eyes afforded me assurance that my burdens
would find safe harbor upon his shoulders

Though I churned slowly at the start,
like a steam engine, rolling downhill, my pace quickened
As I transitioned from casual transgressions down
the rabbit’s hole, rich with growing shards of truth

His knowing glance, like Santa Claus to a wayward child,
set at ease any concern that time was limited
and so I slowed, rather than rush past some truth
that demanded full accounting
while in him I found familiarity that I could not place

Though his words were few, they were will chosen, marveling at how
matter-of-factly he regarded my menagerie of secrets, sins and lies,
always with a short story, similarly slanted, in the life of someone he once knew

And feeling not the least put off,
I reached asunder and pulled the roots
of the most stubborn weeds and laid them plain upon the bar as he,
accompanied by a cup of tea, relieved them of their tenacity, reconstructing them as sunflowers whose season,
now soaked with light, was yet to come

I shared the deeds I did, for what I misunderstood love to be,
and how far I had fallen from the places I once stood,
at which point he chuckled
drawing sticks on a napkins back
to show me how much higher I was standing
since making peace with my reflection

Yours are the stories of the world he said with tender conviction
The lies you’ve told, the chase for gold the fear of ever getting old

They are but songs in the opus that you’ve just begun to write
And not a single passerby out there in the twilight feels less guilty
They simply have not yet found the courage to look clearly in the mirror as you are now

And like a caretaker, he swept my confessions into a pile,
exposing a small scar, circle shaped on his left hand
as he coaxed, then chided them into the silver light
that reflected off the bar  from the street lamp that stood patiently in the rain

Without a word he tipped his hat and set off on his way,
while the bartender, perhaps in kindness, charged me but for a single tea

The days to come were filled with love
and more wonder than I’d thought there was
as I, unburdened, learned to walk, then to run and fly

And truth be told the stranger had not crossed my mind
until the day a careless step left a peculiar scar so very strange,
circle shaped on my left hand

in the most sensational ways

unmistakably, unequivocally, unapologetically certain