I have never been anyone's first choice
But why would anyone want me to be
If they knew I knew would it make them change the way they think of me
Or would they lie to me like they do day to day
I can't seem to let this vile though ht escape throughout the ears connecting to the brain
Just to be thought of day to day but there is no more rooms left in the hearts now a days
I can't be cramped up with a charlie horse lingering around
I am just a pretty little flower but nobody's ruby red roses anyhow
Just under dressed while living in this distress
With thoughts of suicide hanging them self at the roof of my doorstep
If no one loves me now no one will love me in the times I will condone
The thoughts of sharp razor blades seem to reep into my skin
We get excited to travel the world but not for traveling someone within
I just want to be put first even if only for a day
I want to drown in the love and affection even if I can not breathe
Just simply someone standing next to me would put me at the greatest of ease

The room wore darkness and he fit right in. His voice was cold and that's how they all knew of him.  He was lost and didn't know where he was going. All he knew was life was not much to him.  People feared the way he looked even down to his grin.  Then she came along and enjoyed the way his nosed was smushed and that his voice was like smoke exhaling from within.  She was the moon that little up his dark sky,  she was the reason his stars came back to life.  She gave him a purpose and for that he was great full,  the towns people become to understand he was a good hearted man for he was so faithful.  It only takes one to relise your light just to make you understand you can outshine any darkness,  even in the deapth of the night.

When you feel empty it gets harder to write
Or to find motivation in the broad light
You just sit there breathing in air
Rocking back and forth in my hammock thinking about pleasure and dispare
Papers are due but I don't seem to panic
Knowing if I don't do them my grades will sink like the Titanic
I want my feelings to come back because I feel empty inside
At least there's no pain withering in side
For once this emptiness has put up a stride by demolishing the thoughts of suicide that were slowly trying to take over inside

Love is a strange thing
Like a blind man who is able to foresee all living in and past infinity
Chills they come and then they go
You feel special to one and then you feel hollow  
You feel joy and then you feel sadness
There is so much emotion when you expect only pure happiness
Once you have explored all there is to see
Will you stay right here with me?

I slack at things I've never done if I don't know the answer  
Not afraid of doing,  just the laughed and end behavior
I throw excuses in the air, and say I'll do it later
But it's hard to go back to the things that were barely ever tampered
Idk if it's laziness or the lack of dedication
But in the end I will find an excuse perfect excuse of procrastination

They say if you breath slower time it's self slows down
convincing myself if I had more time I won't just ponder around
Problems may soke down on as like intoxicated air
And yet the solutions are harder to find then they appear
They make it seem easy to find like plucking ripe apple off a tree
But now a days that's harder to find than a big Mac and a large sweet tea
I just want to do the right thing even if it's harder to choose
I don't want to look back and pounder on the misfortunes that I didn't set aloof
As I spent my time to terrible use looking back at the mistake I happened to choose
I only get to think about the future instead of living it now,  convincing myself I have more time some how
I contadict myself and I seem to do it a lot and about this time I can slowly see my brain start to rot

Kiss me like your dreaming
And Let the stars clog your lucid dreaming
Foat above the clouds so high
And wish apon that bright star light
Make those legs trimmer because satisfaction makes those eyes shimmer
Rub apon your daily heart
And sing it songs of goddesses that float up in that sky so high
but in the end it shall wish it were thinking of just I

i just want you to come back
i am tired of pretending like you don't exist
like i don't hurt  from all of this
you cant just not think of as from time to time
we had the best moment from the good to the bad
i may have ****** you over but i did so much more good than bad
i was there for you when your life was the worst and then you leave me when everything starts to work out
i doubt that you regret it
but i doubt you would come back if you didn't some how
i went from knowing about every aspect about you to knowing nothing about how you feel and that i think is what kills me the most.
just come back even just once to tell me goodbye.
i just want a goodbye.

Stop putting me down like you haven't done it before,  my heart screams out for you when you head towards that door.
I act like I'm strong but I'm breaking down in side.  You say we can be friends but I think I'd rather hide.  I just want you to be mine even more than before,  is that because your leaving and think I'm a bore?  Do you already like her more than you like me,  because there was a time when you talked bad about her to her very core.  I know I was kind and gave you all you asked for but I guess you didn't want to open up my laborious minds door.  I wish you could stay but they all leave in the end,  I guess it am just forever stuck with the pretend.

The fluency of my name dancing of your tounge is like fame showering me with effection that is of the greatest of love
The sweetness you give me creeps into me
Sneaking its way past the gate,  so sneaky I would have never pictured this in my fate
Your aroma gets to me every time
Just like the strikes you give me with those dreamy eyes
I can't help but question and debate why this great love has showered me like some form of heaven that hails down from above

Can the heart and mind function as one
Or are they forever facing a constants battle of who's right and who's wrong
The hearts always saying sorry by sending constant gifts of life
The brain trys its best to protect the heart from the evil mist
They try to do their best but just fed up by trying to make do
One knows what right and one just feels what's right  to do.  
So is it wrong or is it right?

In this day in age its hard to not care what people think.
You try and try to not care, and do not get me wrong it gets easier to take the insults and narky looks. That does not always change how you feel at the end of the day. You are still filled with hurt. Still worried if he or she likes you, and if not at least wanting them to. Striving for acceptance, but yet still striving for that unique touch. You can go on pretending but it does not change the facts.
But for now I can do my best.

I know you and you know me.
We both know the ****** and great things about each other so you see.
You are my best friend and I am yours. I am glad that I found you and you didn't leave me to be bored.  I will always except you no matter what it coasts. Even if you **** me,  my ghost will support you and mend to your thoughts.  You may think you are crazy and in the end you might be.   but in the end it doesn't matter you are still my best friend and nothing can change that,  for I wouldn't let that be.

Everyone thinks there living in a mind of gold, but the simplicity is not in the eyes of the behold. Its all wrapped up in this ****** up equation, for its not a simple game of who's in and who's hated.  You have to look past the positives and the negatives to see everyone is disengaging.  When you see that the positives and the negatives cancel out you will see for life itself will surly bleed out.  The generations ****** up seeing black and white, trying to think and act out everyone else's own life. Its kinda ****** when everyone is thinking for you, especially when they don't truly even know you. We are all lost and no one seems to care, but when it comes down to it it starts with you and a breath of fresh air. So before you go out and judge all those life's just remember in the end you have to live within your own mind.

We plunge ourself into secrecy but yet we beg to be heard.  
We stand in the shadows but crave for sunshine.
If you stay you must let it all go.  Show me the scares and battle wounds no one else gets to know.  Show me where you cry and your darkest of fears.  I won't try to change you or question your thoughts.  Stand in the light and let it all go,  for when it's all out you hold more power then you will ever know.

as my fingers weave through out the tangled strands of your hair
I feel as if I'm grasping on life itself
goes to show how tight the grip goes
Beauty lays on and beneath you and here it lays with me
I know we are not one and yet I also know it can leave and un weave from me disconnecting me from you
And that my dear is where I shall fall

The incredible sensation I get when you name passes through my brain
The unwilling tremble of love that is caged and very well inslaved
Determinations brings forth the relentless amount of fame
Quenching for satisfaction
Even though it runs through my vains
Guilt that pumps profusely for not living up to my name
What's going on in this I'll mind I call a brain

Her eyelashes were long and luxurious like butterfly wings
Here voice of more heavenly things
She had a few little kisses apon her cheek from the angels above
And hair as long as Mount Everest even from the curls and the curves from just the traveling of
Strive and devotion lied behind her eyes along with the world she was conquering inside
She had smooth curves of what seemed like only man can force create
And a pair of sweet lips that tasted just like mercy at the foot of heavens gate
There was love and kindness a kind I have never seen or have yet to have taste
Her aura out shined and blinded all else there was to see
Her body so much more than a beautiful body but a vesle that carries this creature of an all mighty
Her heart it beats like music to my ears witch plays a lovely tune
There was so much more to this beauty of a gem that can not be told to you.
I have yet to find this girl I describe but it is something I strive and hope with all my heart to someday be and the first step is to already see it unfold within me.

As your soul leaves your body to go paint up the sky,  your body inhales the smoke that is drying you inside.  I am not sure your aware of the path you have chosen but it is not my daily composion. Do you know your letting your soul run wild while your body goes on a rampage during your exile.  Are you lost and need to be found?  Or am I just trapped without knowing some how.

I try to stay on task each day, but for me it is quite hard.
My mind tends to wonder things to the future, past, and so on.
I can't seem to get it straight, that priority's can not wait.
But in my mind i like to travel, question, think, and relate.
I need to see things straight through without any debate, because right now i seem to be running a little late.

as the earth turns my love does the same
aliening the stars and the moon all to your name
only if i can pierce your heart like when you do the same  
to bleed out the feelings that might be there
turning and aching for our love to be
its as if it wasn't in the eyes of thy 
i shall hide my feeling underneath the stone
dying a little knowing you and i shall forever be alone

I can't help but be emerged in the feelings around me
So I Sulk in the deapths of dispare 
 disengaged in the lack of communication
That my mouth trembles at the thought of you traveling near
So focused on the things that could be instead of pursuing what's already here
Lost in the thought of you alone
Wondering if I will ever meet you there

You light my flame.
Do I light yours?  
I just want to be adored.
You have caught my eye,  and you have gotten my time.  Is there more you could ask for?  You have explored me for I let it all out.  I did not hide for I didn't want to waste your time,  but you,  you are harder to crack. I try to get inside but either way I try to burrow inside you shut me out and kick me outside. I will not hide from your demons inside.  I will imbrase them and tend to their firy insides.  I will not dodge your wreck less emotions I promise to stand strong through the wreck less explosions.  I am not going to give up not just yet,  I promise to stand strong till thereis nnothing left.

I did it again.  I made an empty promise,  to someone I don't care for,  or barley know.   But yet I still flung my body towards him without a second thought.  Some would feel ashamed and others would not,  but I am on the boarder line of feeling ashamed or to not.  I can't say I wouldn't do it again but yet I tell myself I would.  I am just craving the affection,  craving that warmth.  Even after the 15 minutes of so called "love"  you can't fill the void of loneliness.  You will never get that true beautiful warmth deep down in your tummy knowing that you made love to someone who sees more beauty in you then you ever will.  Someone who cares not just about making love to your body but deep down to your soul.  Someone you can fall apart to in there arms and know they still love you. I am not sure why I keep filling my head with these lousy fantasies that something will come from these empty promises. But it needs to stop. Maybe next time?

Traveling through this world alone,
As if my words carry no tone
My heart it beats a single beat
While my toes tap the rythme with my feet
I'm not sad or discoraged or even wonder why
We are all ment to live and then simply die
I am happy where I am,  even if it isn't much
Life to me is still worth so much
I don't have to be drowning with friends or pointless conversation that seem to go on with no expectations  
Words to me are just empty meaning,  simple things that have no true meanings
We all are here to feel connected but not by the empty Ness that words have created

Confusion is not a satisfactory key
But it will lead you to some important questions
The questions that may never be answered
But questions in the end you will find you need
IIt's hard to move forward with the questions un answered
For it leaves the mind running on some toxic fumes
But sometimes it's better to forget the unspoken
And go on to something new

I love you because I do not know how not to.  I love that you have merged between my heart and my soul and how you continue to melt there. I like to imagine when we are at the most gentle of ease, but then I just picture as, doing whatever we please. The gifts of warm, radiant of heat that roles off to you to me is what I crave at night. Just like how you linger through the corners of mind, I want you. I need nothing other than you. To break down these stones and grow with you. Intertwin within your vines. And yet Your shadows are always be hind me and I am not sure weather to be scared or enlighted. I gues we will see.

They call it steal emotion when you hearts in deep devotion
Hearts lost at sea when I see you with someone other than me
Can't help but feel you around even when your lost and no where to be found
I try to wait but I can't seem to intisipate the feeling that drifts in and out of this fragile mist
I can't wait forever even though I try to withstand the weather
My hearts breaking down and I can't help but stumble apon the ground
I try to reach my hand out and shout
But I don't think you care about the feelings that I hold or that I am a fragile soul when it comes to you and your behold
I wish you would stop the things that you do
And if not ill still be there just waiting on you

To be open with myself and others, to break myself completely in your arms and burrow my heart and soul to you. Once I am broken I can finally grow and become something I have only dreamed to become. But I don't just want to grow I want you to grow with me. Intertwin your heat and soul into mine and we will mend to each others wounds and help feed the fire to our passions. To fling all of me to you without a second thought, because I think I know. I think we all know, deep down we all know.  We just have to. I will break down my solid brick walls to be valuable and you will see all of me and I promise not to hide but to imbrace in the everything that is or ever was.

Writing shity little poetry in this luxurious home,  it's not mine but who would have known. It doesn't really matter where I write
It's just my feelings pouring out from from the  inside
But sometimes there not my feelings at all
And for some they say I shouldn't write it at all
It may not get me anywhere in life but it is just really nice to sit down and write
Just to move people's feelings from here to there is like a super power I possess with just speaking out some air
So am I going to stop writing?  
Probably not,  I am going to do it weather you like it or not

Why has this feeling crept in
The sounds of regret have seem to peep in
The face of doom holds the dagger and my soul is caged in
Love has left the air
And tragedy strikes in the deapths of my dispare
I can't seem to let go even when my heart begs and pleads to do so
What is this and why has it come
Is it for the demons I inspire or the people I have set on fire or for me when I set my own path on to a liars
For whatever reason I must except
I guess this is the punishment of ones true death

I toss and I turn i can hardly fall asleep
Let alone stand on these two feet
I crave your arms around me
I cringe for your breathe on me
If you have tears building up,  stack them up on me.
I want to feel your presence more than I want to breathe.
It's hard to ask when I am not sure how you think of me.
I write poems of you all night when I can't seem to drift to sleep at night. I will keep tossing and turning with you dancing through my mind maybe I could actually catch some zzzzzzs with here by my side.

why do i care for the things improper
even that sentence it can be altered
i try to stray from the feelings above
but in it lies the ink the sulk en eyes of
i know its not just within me
but i want to leave these feelings at ease
is it possible to abstain from the judgement
or is it in the nature of everyone's dysfunction-meant
i don't want anyone to judge me but i seem to do it with a breeze
it needs to be disconnected because in the end everyone will be rejected

Living in this fragment we call time
It never ends,  but yet we still die
Traveling to find everything we seek
But wait to pursue everything that makes as truly uniquely
We sit and we ponder about how life should be
Instead of facing it head on, directly
As each moon sheds its twinkling stars a new sun rises and that time you thought you had is way long gone

I want to sleep the day away
But in the end the pain doesn't sway
To get my mind off the subject is like taking a pure ****** substance
It would be nice for a moment but the ending pain I could not condone it
Is this feeling really really or just the mental state swallowing the pill
The brain washing stage is just the beginning
I don't know if I can take the sublisty

Under neither this blanket of depression,  lies sweet tender love built up from suspension
I'll give it all to you my love for you cure those awful blues
For each day and night I strive for those moments with just you
I may not yet have found you but some day I will
I need to keep unmasking these creatures that pose as the one and only you

Iv read to many books in my life, to many that i just stopped counting. Getting lost in the words around me that it feels like i am always drowning. I cant help but to think of all that's in a writers mind, what do they think day to day, and do they ever change their mind? I wish i could just travel through out every aspect of their mind. Not just peeping or creep and tip toe around but to actually venture and see what lies behind that beautifully twisted mind . Maybe create and sink into one, even if only for a whole day my mind would be forever satisfied and intoxicated all at one.   
So to all of those writers, musicians, and artists all around if your reading this right now, would you tell me you would be down.

I may be alone but I will always have the trees . They are rooted to never leave the side of me. They may be twisted in its roots but they are grounded and firm just as I want them to be.  
They do not sway from side to side
Or change their opinion you see
For trees They are loyal and that is something that will never be toiled.
Trees they grow even with the all the scares that people leave on them but instead of covering them up or hide them they show it off and embrace them.  They do not dwell on the past or seek to find revenge.  They just simply grow and never look for an end.  They are living in now because they know that time will surely end.

There are things within you that I know I can not see,  but I feel them move within you and they truly inspire me.  They moved me more than a passionet kiss that's leaps into my soul.  I can't but help feel this feeling that intertwines within my color changing soul.  It's so sure about everything you do, that it makes me question even all the small things that I do. It makes me one of a kind something I feel I'll never be,  but with you next to me we can conqore all there is to see.

Come to me when you weap and I will dry your tears.  
Come to me in desperate despairand I will fill your empty needs.
Come to me in your darkest times and I promise to fill you with sunshine.  
Come to me when you need to feel love and I will give you my all.
Come to me when you need guidance and I will make sure you never fall.
Come to me and I promise to be your everything and anything after all.

I don't know how to feel,  but neither do you.  But you decide to let them tell you what to do,  how to think,  and influence your act.  At least I'm not letting anyone get to me like that.  I may not have any friends now,  but at least I don't pretend in my head I do some how.  Your gone and I'm still where you left me.  I am not even sure what I would even do if you crept back into my life and went back to petyying me.  I don't have any feelings but I do willow in thoughts.  How dare you disengage those and spit on the simple and complex parts.  As of now I'm still tangled in this Web knowing I'm going to die half alive and or half undead.

Yes I wander
But I never hide
I just like to travel and find
My thoughts they travel far and wide
To seek the Un for told
You can not bind me tight within for I will already be unfold
I want to love but I want to do it freely
Letting my toes dance across the stars
When I dream I do not dream of people,  places,  or things, I dream of galaxies and things un heard of. Speak to me with a forien tounge and I will do the same.  We all are different in our own little way,  some speak loudly while others would rather stay astray.  As for me I would rather be traveling to my very last day.

your body is my frame that i lay inside
when i cry your hands are the tissues that wipe my eyes
to lay with you is to lay with death
you cloud my judgment, and my thoughts
i cant escape, though i never thought
so lay with me dear and i promise together we will rot

Your so close yet so far away
I look into your eyes and see clouds clogging filled up with grey  
There is confusion but that is all i can see
Are you still there driving on or somewhere off the the pretty lined road
You can come back ill guide you your way
I just need your trust
Trust me like your dying and ill catch when you fall
Ill rest your head on my shoulder while i soak up your tears
Come back because I know your stuck
I am angry but that doesn’t mean ill leave
Come back to me and I promise you will always have WE

traveling day to day wondering who i might be.
i try a lot of different things, things i might want to be.
its hard to choose from all those things from all around the place,
in the end i might just end up wasting precious space.

You left me for doing to much, but I should of left you for doing too little.  
It was a bad  excuse for your "best friend"  you have know since you were little.  
I can't change the way that you think,  but deep back in my mind I will forever think.  Was there something else I could of done?  
Or was it just fate those girls would have you turn your back on me  with just the movement of those bruised up thumbs. It's been a few weeks since you left me stranded in the streets,  but your forever on my mind and you won't even take the time to see me through this awful blue,  even though your the one putting me through.  It's hard to see those new photos pass by.  and I don't have the slightest clue as to why,  when,  where,  and how.  It's just a soulles picture to me,  and I will never get to see the true meanings behind the blank screens.  I hope they treat you better,  but I doubt they will with stand your weather.  my true feelings for you will forever stay true.  I am sorry for all I did to you but in the end they will never be able to cure your all of your blues.

I just wanted you to be there through all the moments in my life. I just wanted to be there for you through all the bad and all the good moments of yours. I wanted to hold you while you cry, and be the reason that you smiled. I was ready to give it all to you, but you left without a goodbye.your back now and I'm not sure if I should tell you how I feel. I'm afraid you will leave again. I'm not sure if I could take it again.I don't know why exactly you left, because the good outweigh the negative. were you afraid of getting too close? were you afraid of getting hurt like the times before. I know people have betrayed you and made you question all the new that comes before you. I promise with all that I can give that i would never leave you. I would fight for you with all that I can give. till my blood dries thinin and my bones grow dry,  till I can't draw a single breath.   I will be there through all the mistakes you shall make, and I shall not judge you for I shall be there taking the blame too.  I shall carry you to your highest peak and let you stand on my shoulders bringing me to my lowest for the sake of yours.  I shall sheild you from any harm that comes near. I shall hold you till you feel safe again.  I will soak up your tears.  I will listen to you even if it's the same thing,  time and time again. When your home is being dysfunctional you will always be able to run to me. When your life is falling apart I will help you solve each puzzle peice at a time,  and if you wanted to change I will help you up to start a new.  I want to take every one of your scares and falls for you,  so you can stay brand new.  I know you want to learn how to take the beatings on your own,  but why when I can help you through.  I will be here no matter what the coasts.  I have been here for about a year now,  and yet feel so far away,  I'm trying to break down this wall but the blocks you keep building up again. I promise to never leave once I know all that's there.  Even if I get bored I will stay there to the end of both of our lives.  You don't think your special but you are to me.  Even if you weren't you wouldn't need to be.  It wouldn't change how I feel,  because I care for you even if this uniqueness of ours runs out.  I'll be right here with out a single doubt.  Or no matter what lies in the road a head.  I have no intentions of frightening you,  I just want to be something you can ease your head.  I want to be yours till the end of time,  not someone that you will just leave again.  But if you do I promise to be laying in the road ahead.

As I write this moon lit letter I think about how life can be clever.  From finding things you love the most to just the simple feeling of sand between the toes.  
The body can be easy to be please
Just as you are to me
Writing poems all day long and writing a few little songs
Life can be good and life can be clever
You just need to find that happiness that will last you forever