My hand is glowing
with another cigarette
The ashtray's overflowing
The bottle meant
to ease my pain
is nearly spent
and I'm still going insane

I’m left alone with wine and cigarettes
tonight, wondering if I have regrets
I yearned to know the taste of lips on lips,
desired nothing else besides your hands
to caress my cheek, my waist, my finger tips
With ease, it seemed, you met all my demands
You gave me passion only found by few
I crave it now, so nothing else will do
By light of day the torture can be veiled
A smile, a game, assorted hollow things
conceal my actual thoughts ‘til daylight’s failed
By night I feel what disappointment brings

Alas! It's dusk; his hunger grows.
The beast crawls into sight.
Briefly he will watch his prey
'til day gives way to night.

A firefly flew by today.
I ran to catch him quick.
He graced me with his presence brief,
then gave his wing a flick.

From the top of the hill I can see
How the road drips tar
Down the path of least resistance.
What sort of fish would keep
This dark river as their home?
Foul creatures, filled with teeth,
Gnashing at their prey.
I bet I would make a tasty treat for them.
All I have to do is dive in.

He shut off the light.
It was utterly dark in our tiny room.
Hands disappeared in front of faces;
Sounds turned sharper and stung the ears.
The other one used to scream at night.

I felt the mattress sink as he crawled into bed.
My nose was buried under the pillow,
Not that it mattered, no one could see me.
His gentle touch was meant as an act of comfort.
But his fingers were cold at the tips.

Lightly, he kissed my forehead.
It was the only part I left exposed.
His fingers, warm now, pushed my face up.
It’s a shame at 21 I can’t hug my teddy-
I let him hold me instead.

There was a whisper, “It’s okay.”
I knew the other was no longer there.
Opening my eyes, I realized his gift.
“Look what I did,” he said,
“I made the dark go away.”

Endless nights of playing a game
Pleasurable fights, all the same
Arrogant fathers sending their spies
Plausible faith based on sensible lies

Tumble out of bed and greet regret
Stumble outside, light a cigarette
Take a drag and consider what to say
Redundant motion on a recurring day

With each turn I meet a well-known face
How could I not while I reside in this place
It is hard to tell if I am awake.
The line is dead that parted real and fake