It's been a month
and my journal still lays in the same spot
in the corner of my ***** room
on my old oak desk.
I meant to write
but I could never muster up
enough energy to say
everything that was locked up inside my head.
I couldn't find the words
to express my needs and wants,
to list my problems
and the demons constantly reminding me of them.
And so, my journal
still lays there in that same old spot,
collecting dust every other second
and never feeling my pen's touch
and still craving for my attention.


- i.s.
[ day one of fourteen days & fourteen nights ]

Dear My Used-To-Be Sunshine,
I hope you're happy
because at least
that'll make one of us.
Sincerely,
The Soul You Killed

8.5.14
7:57 p.m.
- i.s.

You drifted away
into something new,
something unexpected.
I just wanted to chat
like we always did,
but you soon became too good
for that - for me.
You never called me,
you never smiled at me,
you never held me
and you never even glanced
towards me anymore.
You became something new
and I still remained old,
and you just didn't like that apparently.
But it's okay
because I'll remember you -
except I'll only remember the old you.
The new never stuck around long enough
so I couldn't get the feeling of it,
but it was foreign.
Just like us - like you.
I will always remember you,
though.

8.4.14
9:08 p.m.
- i.s.

Do you understand
what it's like
to build your whole world up
for someone
that you cared deeply for
and to only watch them
destroy it within seconds
because they built
someone's world higher than yours?

8.3.14
7:09 p.m.
- i.s.