as coffee gloriously pollutes my veins
warding off sleep.every cell in my body      
                                                                       pleads to be
                                                                       aligned with every cell in his.

I stand in front of a mirror. If anyone knows my face, it’s me. The grandeur of ego.

I’m bored with:
My prominent brow
My acne
My picket fence teeth
My collagen

My flaws
are like skyscrapers
No matter how high
I look
my biggest landmarks
scrape
the empty blue sky

I’m tired of
my face being wet
after I cry
I miss the drought

I miss being dry
with my humor
and my ambitions

I miss plain
white eyes
wide smiles
hair
music
not this wave of social indecency

I’m stranded
here on in this valley
it’s a massive grave
a hole I dug

no chains when I’m enslaved
just bad dreams
and flat tires

I black out locations
on road maps
to places I saw as a child
Miami and Key West don’t exist
Neither does Bumfuq, Egypt

If they do exist
it’s in another realm
where people see
through black ink

There we stood
once, at the edges
of the valley
“I’ll race you down.”
Oops.

Stop it.
Right now.
I’m tired of you.
Your problems.
Sincerely,
New Friend

I’m tired of
being insane
being depressed
being lonely

Sobriety
makes you all miserable
trying staying that way
your whole life

Hey look!
passive aggression
it’s tied to my big toe
it’s my anchor
to reality

It repuls[e]s me
to t[h]ink about
what you put
in you[r] ve[i]ns
when y[o]u had
absolutely [n]o
one to hold
you.

I’m falling
again
I brought
parachutes
and kit kat bars
you know
how it goes

Remember that day?
We had some animal
blood
we used it as ink
at the fast food place
on a $1 paper board
to protest your
departing.

Remember that day?
We had ******* ***
a lot of it
I tasted your blood
on your tongue
I almost
threw up

Remember when
I came to your house
and you recorded me
playing guitar badly
for your music

There was that time
where my ex was
following me
everywhere
You told me
she was an
EMOTIONAL
TERRORIST
you helped me
I admired that
Now we don’t talk

Remember that day
we listened to AFI
at the In-N-Out
drive thru
at midnight
I held your hand
in the back seat
while I threatened
a fat man eating a burger
That was exciting

Remember
when I first
kissed you
in the dark
of your
apartment?

I haven’t
seen you
in a week
and we
don’t call
each other
You’re
my best
friend
sometimes

And you
I didn’t forget
about my dearest
friend

Yes
I miss you
crazy
*******
thing
memory is

I’m going to sleep
I miss seeing the sky
at the early hours
it would be red
or purple
or anything
I want you to see it
with me
in the desert
before I leave

we’ll be friends

under the stars

as far as anyone else is concerned:

bye.

I keep trying.
But they all keep dying.

I keep trying.
But they all keep leaving.

I keep trying.
But they all stop hoping.

I keep trying.
But they all stop loving.

I keep trying.
But soon I'll be like them.

I am glad God saw Death
And gave Death a job taking care of all who are tired
     of living:

When all the wheels in a clock are worn and slow and
     the connections loose
And the clock goes on ticking and telling the wrong time
     from hour to hour
And people around the house joke about what a ***
     clock it is,
How glad the clock is when the big Junk Man drives
     his wagon
Up to the house and puts his arms around the clock and
     says:
          "You don't belong here,
          You gotta come
          Along with me,"
How glad the clock is then, when it feels the arms of the
     Junk Man close around it and carry it away.

We came from dreams

Arrived in our beds

Having just been separated,
we formulated plots                that would return us to each other.

A switch from the subconscious sparked miles between us.

We talked through wires until it was no longer tolerable.

I went to find you, and found myself with you, the journey blurred.

There were others. They were all beautiful. But then darkness took our
                                                                      sight.

And everything was quiet.


I had never known beauty unseen, unheard.
                                                 but...you touched me

You felt me, like a cloud feels a mountain peak before taking the highest point away from the rest of the world's...sight.

Like a confused thing on a strange planet...but not frightened.
You touched me with want.
                                                       And I wanted you.
                                                                                            To know all of me.
                                             Including the bad parts.
And I wanted you to add to me, things I didn't even know yet...


The sad parts.

And a moment was a year to me. And I was wise for a second.


We left. your room. out into the night. the others around us, expressing such joyous jubilation.
And still I couldn't derive joy from their moods.
My capacity for happiness was overfull. All you.

Bring back the sight. Bring back our voices. Remember the touch.

Undying.

Our souls touched.
       The whole night long.
                Until we had to leave.
                        Because we were afraid of a supernova.
                               so we hurried back to our respective beds
                                         and that was the fastest I ever fell asleep
                                               and I know you did too. because I saw you there
In that room. In my room, in my head, in your bed, full of dreams.

Dos mil y seis. Yo fue yo...fue yo y tu. Me odio.