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  Apr 2015 Helen
v V v
Its been a long time since
I had anything important to say.
Still don’t.
The focus that writing requires
is distant,
fog-like and out of reach.
I feel it misty on my skin sometimes.
I turn my hand around and its spirit
touches me softly, tenderly.
I feel it held up in silence.  
It is brief and then its gone,
or I go, or both,
and then the sun burns bright
and the clock runs fast
forward through the day
like an hourglass where
the ringing in my ears
is the roaring of the sand
through the gap,
and though it is contained,
it brings down with it everything
my mind cannot hold onto….
  
There is no focus.
Mainly guilt,
but I catch a glimpse  
once in a while in the mist,

and when the mist is on my skin
there is no roaring through the gap

rather drifting, slow,
methodical as intended…..

Just not very often
Helen Apr 2015
don't you ever try to peg me
into your narrow little view
I'll change shapes, so as not to fit
and lay back, just to watch you
scream and shout,
foam at the mouth,
let expletives fly

just to leave me lie
discarded,
unworthy of a place
an unwanted puzzle piece
manufactured to take up space

don't you ever try to label me
I'm not a 99 cent basement bargain
my million dollar price tag got lost
inside your uninteresting jargon

don't you try to pin me
as a monument to your prowess
this butterfly has learnt how to lie
becoming a dragonfly under duress

don't you ever try to change me
I'm resistant to heat and *******
I'm resistant to your loquaciousness
a never ending river of it

don't you ever pigeonhole
the gregarious of my effervescence
nor tunnel upon my vision
because when you understand it
we'll both just be stuck
*inside the same prison
#shapes #prison #unwanted #lonely
Helen Apr 2015
Should I just walk away
or should I just pretend
that others will know the way
and I'll make it to the end
If. I. Follow. Them
Am I just a sheep
or representive of the people
do I bleet with power
or am I just a sheeple?
That minority that herds forward
seeking single blades of grass
to munch on arbitorial
swallowing questions not asked

How. Come. It. Cuts. Like. Glass?

am I misrepresented
by the shame of not being focused
missing the road to everlasting
Salvation

my ticket says I'm on a one way trip

to *Hell and Damnation
Helen Apr 2015
Parties are for the Pretties,
the Perfects and the Prudes
the Pretties hate the Perfects,
all the rest are left to suffer
beneath their combined attitudes

One must listen to platitudes
that paints the sky so pink
The blue that bends so blindly
never barely connects so kindly
to the instance that it bled ink

Mindful of the mired muck
that insists my shoe should stick
insidious brown upon the ground
whispers words in rejection
leaving a life form I needs drink

For where I step is septic
solid ground is unsolid, at best
but my best foot forward
is  wearing pretty new shoes
mud caked, is my best guess
I have no idea what this means... Had an automatic writing moment... Take what you will from it :)
Helen Apr 2015
He:* What's happening to us?
We're dying!

She placed her hand
upon his chest and said,

We're not dying!
We are already dead,
it's just our hearts
that won't stop trying
Helen Apr 2015
My divorce
will be final
in 3 days,

I'm shocked!.!.

I never thought...
it would take
so long

to get a gun license
'apparently' there's a cooling off period *rolls eyes*
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