17 years have flown by so fast.
I've watched you grow,
from a chubby little baby
to a handsome young man.

My partner in crime when we were little
is now almost of age.
Where has the time gone?
I hope you know I'm proud of you!

My baby brother
whose been there for me
through thick and thin
is 17 today.

My baby brother
isn't a baby anymore.

I understand why you did it
I understand the struggle you went through
But it doesnt make it hurt any less.

I was only little
A little girl
crying out for her Mommy.

But she was never there.

Yes I had daddy
and I had my step mom.
But they weren't you!

Daddy Always telling me
To grow up
Even when I was only 7!

Step mom always doting
On my brother, her son.
Always telling me
How I was nothing but A stress in her life.

I understand now
Why you werent there.
I wont go into it.

But tell that to 5 year old Nikkie,
10 year old me!
The little girl who missed her mama
Screaming out for her attention.

I know why you werent there

But it doesnt make the Pain
from all those years without you
Just go away.

And whats worse...
You dont even feel bad.

Little kitty poked and proded
Wanting to know everything
that the world had to offer her
Not caring about the consequences
her actions might have.  

She wiggles her way into things
sometimes in way over her head.
Seeking the truth
Ferreting out the lies.
No matter the price.

Then one day her curiosity got to her
You know what they say
Curiosity killed the cat.

Her heart smashed
into a million shattered hopes
A million shattered promises.

Revenge formed in her deadened brain
Making the gears work again.
She pulled together her scattered heart
She plotted to right the wrong.
And laughed as it took place

Because
Curiosity killed the Cat
But what everyone doesnt know is,
*Satisfaction Brought It Back.

Fold the paper
Corner to corner
Whisper secrets in its creases
Mold it
shape it
to whats its meant to be
String it up
for everyone to see

I am like a paper crane
Folded and molded
by the society around me
Strung up
for everyones enjoyment

Unable to fly
Unable to be free

No More

Cut the strings
Spread my wings
and Soar

And finally
FINALLY
I'll just
be Me

Paige
The only girl I truely loved
I held you close
Kissed your lips
Gave you my heart.

I was there when your step father
Pushed you down the stairs
I held you as you cried.
I was your refuge
when you were terrified to go home.

I was the only one to see behind oyur walls
the only person you let see the real you.
I held you close and never judged
all your "imperfection" making me love you more.

I gave you my heart
I treasured you so dearly.
I missed you feircly when we parted ways.

Then my little brother let me in on a secrect
Shattering my heart.

You SLEPT with my little brother
While I was fast asleep in the next room.

You had my heart in your hands
and you crushed it so blatantly.
HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?

Didnt you realize you meant everything to me?
didnt you realize that I was falling head over heels in love with you?

Was it all just a joke to you?

My rage sees no end,
your betrayal is seared into my heart
Forever.

God of mischeif
and chaos
Born frost Giant
Grew up Asgardian

Always in his brothers shadow
Darkness spread in his heart
Bitter and angry
Hatred settled in

Retailate
Lashing out
spreading chaos
everywhere he goes

Evil creature
in the dark
Standing on his own
turned his back against it all

But deep within
that blackened heart
there is a spark
in that rotten soul

Goodness within
deep
Very deep
within

Just wants to belong
Wants to be equal
to his brother
To make Odin Proud.

Evil creature
in the dark
Standing on his own
turned his back against it all

The swollen moon
hangs in the air
illuminating everything in its path

Let the madness wash over you
with its pale silvery light
descend into the all consuming crazy

Rational thoughts fly out of your head
Replaced by wild desire.
The fever burning
churning
making you go insane

Dance under the moon
carefree dont care
dont think
just feel.

this is what it feels like
this Full Moon Madness

I call upon the great spirit
I call upon the Great Isis
Goddess of life I pray to you.

Give me the strength
to live this life,
this world of
dull grey despair.

Isis, great goddess
I am your humble follower,
I'm down on my knees
begging for your guidence.

I put this borken life
in your loving arms.

Please help me heal
Please help me stay strong.

Please goddess
I pray to you

Sitting there staring at me
I can see the hunger in your eyes.
Your mind wandering to pleasure.
You wanted me I could tell.

I look down and see you grow.
I smile wide and start to tease you.
I put my hand on your thick hardness.
Then get an bright idea.

I call a friend so we could all play.
She comes in and your eyes grow wide.
Me and her slowly walk over to you.
You beg for attention.

We unzipped you pants.
I take your **** and put it in my mouth,
She take it and gives it a nice message.
You moan not believing it was happening.

You no longer can stand the teasing.
You push me down and ground your self in.
You take it out and slowly put it back in,
Making me enjoy every inch.

You go so deep making me scream.
You unload, and shudder.
its her turn now.
She sits there waiting.

You walk over to her and push her down.
You put your throbbing **** in her mouth
She licks it making you groan
Time for the fun.

You ground yourself within
And **** so hard.
She whimpers.
And you unload.

You bring me over.
And put your face in my hot wet *****.
You lick you **** making me beg for more.
You fingers **** so hard.

I wrap my legs around your waist.
You shove in hard making me scream in pleasure.
You **** so hard my nails leave trails on your back,
Egging you on to do more.

You *** inside me and roll off.
She gets on top and lays down.
I snuggle closer and you put your arms around me.
Your wildest dream come true.

I put makeup on
to hide the tears

I lugh just to
chase away the sadness

I sing songs in my head
just to keep from thinking

But I don't think that's enough
anymore to keep away
the impending breakdown
I'm destined to have.

All I want to do is scream
until my throat is raw

Then scream some more
until I lose my voice.

Then still try
to scream

But I don't think that's enough
anymore to keep away
the impending breakdown
I'm destined to have.

Treat me like that
Throw me away like trash
and watch my eyes
go from Blue to black
As revenge starts forming
in my mind

I'll write my name in gasoline
in your pathetic front lawn
Strike a match
and watch it burn

Janie:
Why does the world have to be so Money hungry?

ME:*
Because it is

Janie:
Well that's not a deep reason why.

ME:

OK how about this for a deep reason why
*clears throat
Because sadly the world has become power hungry and greedy
and only sees Dollar signs thus making everything run on money
(not Dunkin Donuts like it might think)
THUS
making it so we have to slave away at hell
( I mean work)
so that way we can still fit into this world
and live in it and keep up with the greed

......And that folks... Is my philosophy for the month.

I miss you, I miss the friend I once had in you. {Deleted, never sent}

I heard our song today, the one I Danced my solo to. {Deleted, never sent}

I was looking at my mothers pictures and came across our prom picture. {Deleted, never sent}

I was looking through my sisters room and found your old old navy shirt, it still smells like you. {Deleted , never sent}

I really miss going to your family christmas parties, I felt so accepted there. {Deleted, never sent}

Did you know I still hold on to the necklace you gave me? {Deleted never sent}

Did you know I still sleep with the tiger you gave me every once in a while? {Deleted, never sent}

Hey it's me again, Thanks for giving me your black sweatshirt its so cold here in the winter and your sweatshirt is so warm. {Deleted, never sent}

Do you ever think about me? Think about the friends we use to be? {deleted, never sent}

Will we ever be friends again? *{Deleted, never sent}

Innocent blue eyes
and an angelic smile
people always saying
"So sweet, So kind"
But they don't know
what lurks behind.

Behind the halo
two little horns,
a forked tongue,
And a heart tipped tail.

Devilish thoughts shrouded
in Hell's dark flames.

What's in my head
would make grown men cry
and sweet old ladies cringe.

I'll have you down on your knees
There's no escaping
the she devil in me
Once she's out of her cage.

My appearance so fooling
to the foolish mortals around
so do try to remember,

There are horns behind this halo

Wait until the person is sleeping
sneak out the room
shhhhh
make sure you dont wake them up
Slip out of the house.
Its genious
Its perfect
The perfect ******* plan!!!

UNLESS

The person you are trying to ditch
Wakes up in the middle of the night
Screaming awake from a horrible nightmare.
They turn to apologize for waking you
Only to fine you are nowhere to be seen.

TO BAD
YOU DIDNT STICK AROUND

You missed the best part.
You missed the look of terror on their face
Slowly turn to hurt and betrayal
as the realization of what you did
Snapped into place.

You missed them curl up in a ball
huddling under their blanket
and cry themself to sleep.
All alone in a dark house.

The Fine art of ditching always has a price,
But its rarely ever seen.
Why is that?
Because the Ditcher never sticks around to see.

You wanted me out of your life
You broke your promise
You broke my heart

After everything we've been through
you simply tossed it away
With cruel words and actions
You broke me down

You made your choice
you knew what you were doing
You left me there "bleeding"

You hurt me
And I'm still here reeling
in the aftermath destruction

I'm sitting here, Trying
Not to fall in the gaping hole
That you left behind

You left
when I needed my big brother the most

Its too late
to be looking back now.
its too late
for the I'm sorrys and apologies

So to Answer your question
YES
the door back in is really shut

and to answer your other question
NO.....

......I don't think It will ever open back up

White powder
NO
its definitally not Flour

Clear bitter liquid
NO
It's definitally not water

Needle after needle
NO
Its definitally not a doctor's shot

All these addictions
All these Drugs
Swirlled around me

But I didnt touch them
I kept away
I had my own

Little White pills
NO
they aren't my ADHD medicine

Swallow them
Snort them
Take me away

Blissful numbness
To zoned out to think
Perfect sanctuary

The high
I could Fly
I was invincible

The Crash
the reality came back
with a harsh flash

Needing more pills
to keep the high strong
More and more

More
more
more

Suddenly
They are gone
Leaving me to my own Devices

My stomach turns agaisnt its self
Can't keep anything down
Twisting painfulling in knots

A Cold sweat breaks
Shaking so hard
can't think straight

I need them
I need them
I need them

Pray for death
Pray for pills
Pray for this to end

I need them
I need them
I need them

"oh she has the flu"
Stupid doctor
what do you know?

can't you see
my desprete need
My need for those little white pills

I
Need
THEM

Months go by
feels like eons
feels like I'm in hell

Without them I am plauged
by horror and pain
depression peaking

Slowly my body heals
My need dims
My need disapates

5
years
go by

Addiction no more
Dependent no more
Little pill free

But every now and then
I feel that itch
just below my skin

the itch for a pill
for the numbness it brings
Every now and then

No matter how sober
I will always be recovering

Because when you were addicted to pain meds
It's hard not to relapse

She goes over to him and curls up around his feet

he spreads his wings and folds them gentle around her small body
rest now *** I've got you

looks up at him and blinks her big blue eyes
teehee
an evil grin spreads across her face

he looks down at her with his eyebrow raised
Whaaaaat are you doing?

she suddenly pounces on him and starts batting at his wings squeaking as she does

A shrill screeches rings through the air as he lifts off the ground and shoot up into the night sky

She clings to his back with her claws ears flat agaisnt her head
looking around she realizes something
*** I'M FLLLLLYYYYING
Weeeeeeee


Falls off the Bed Laughing
Dear Goddess, panda  you are just a freaking goofball.

smiles wide at him*
I know

^-^

I try to keep it together
I try not to show it.
But I'm falling apart inside.

The pain is becoming harder to ignore
The tears are getting harder to push back.

But I keep pushing it away
I wont let it out.
There are people out there
Who are more important than me.

But its still there
just below the surface.
it keeps building and building.
and I fall back onto my old ways of coping

Cutting
puking
denying myself sleep.

Why does this keep happening to me?

But I know why.
Because I keep it bottled up
I wont let it free

because there are other people out there
who are much more imprtant than me
They need somone to be there for them

I'll be fine
I'll be ok
because I dont matter.
I'm not worth it.

The mysterious stranger
who thinks he is so sneaky
trying to blend in with the rest of them

But I see his eyes
they harbor a secret
to dark to be told

But that's what draws me near
Makes me want to know him
I'm not afraid of what his eyes say

His distance is intriguing
his failed attempts
to push me away
Only make me get closer

My caring scares him
I can see it in his eyes
I read life times
in those windows

I don't care
if I'm getting
way over my head
he's worth it

I can see it all ready
If I don't guard my heart
I will fall madly in love with him.

Crazy Beautiful
Misunderstood
Brilliant as can be

shy
bold
unquie

Wise beyond her years
Eyes that don't miss much.
A heart that loves so deeply

She is a girl
who only comes
once in a blue moon

I am proud to call her
my little sister
She means everything to me.

She is more important then she realizes
She is my strength my rock
Without her I'd crumble.

And I hope one day
she will let me in
And let me be her rock

Because there is nothing in this world
I wouldn't do for her.
that's what big sisters are for.

Summer Skye I love you sis
Always know that
No matter what
I'm here for you <3

Remember our promise

If you jump
I jump

But what happens

If I jump

Do you jump too?


Or do you get on
The nearest life boat
And leave me here to drown
All alone in this vast ocean

Keep Your Chin Up
My poster states back at me
In my tiny cubicle

Keep Your Chin Up*
It winks at me
telling me good things will come

Keep Your Chin Up
SHUT UP
I DONT CARE

My chin is starting to hurt
from keeping it up
from hoping things will come

I just want to put it down
crawl in a hole
and cease to exist

Judging someone's
****** orentation
is like judging what the person in front of you
gets at mcdonalds

I shake my head at you
Your eagerness is charming
Your willingness overpowering

You're much to eager
to jump in this world
Like a child cannon balling
into the Pool
creating ripples
whereever he goes

Your much to willinging
to participate
but you must walk
before you can run
so you don't trip and fall  

Don't stumble on these words
that float easily to your head
Take a breath
Stand back for a few
and reevaluate

simplicity is a good thing
to much can ruin

don't think me scolding
don't think me cruel
I'm just tryng to help you
one writer
too another.

clank
His words whisper to you
clash*
They bind you to his twisted world
clink
Shining armour so dark
clang
Taint your mind to his pleasure

snap
Rusty is his once strong power
crash
Free is your caged soul
thud
To the floor his ******* rests

I am just one of Many
of Depression's mistress's
Depression is such a greedy man
He takes whomever he pleases
Men, women, teens, Elder
He's not picky, he doesnt care.

He will ****** you,
with sweet words.
Woe you until you swoon
he wont stop until he has you

His sweet words are a lie
they are candy coated posion
That will fill you with such a dread
it will leave you breathless and cold

He'll throw you away like trash
But first stealing all your happy memories
and replasing them with doom and gloom.

He will laugh at the tears he has caused
He will kick you and tell you its all your fault.

And once you think you are rid of him for good
He will sing his posioned song once more
and you will land right back into
the palm of his hand.

I am just one of many
of Depression mistress's
If you are one as well
I'm so sorry for your heartbreak

I'm so sorry
that Our sir
Is such a
Heartless
*******

I vow to always be there
To help you in anyway you need.

I vow to Protect you
With Everything I am

I'm here to help you learn,
I'm here to make you love yourself more
The way I already do.

If you disobey
I'm sorry but I must punish.

But dont worry.
The sting wont sting for long

I'll bandage you back up.
With a Kiss and a good Boy

I'll hold you when you need me
I'll scold you when you need to be.

I'll Be loving
I'll be Strict.

This is my Vow to you.

Her feelings are burried deep down
like the pharohs of old.

She pushes on and carries on
Protecting her family
by bringing them endless laughter.

But

Her Humor is drying out
like a puddle in a drought.

The court jester is stumbling
struggling to hold on
She is reaching out for help

The court jester is crumbling
right infront of everyones eyes.
But she does it in secret

with a slice of her wrist here
and a swipe at her legs there.

She puts on her plastic smile
and brings laughter to everyone around her.

9:30
Crab rangoons
Under the playset
Jokes being made

School days
Bus rides
Soft pillows
Nightmare free

Weekends
Karate kid
Over and
over again

Panic attacks
Seeking refuge
Free therapist
Venting listener

Scattered memories
Tainted black
Best friends through the ages

No more

Let me jump in the back
of that old pick up truck
and drive all the way to Alaska
where the cold wind there
will freeze my heart
so I cant feel this pain
that's killing me now

I'm trapped
in emotional overload
and I cant
seem to find my way out
I'm sitting here crying
suffering from all the
failures of my life

Happiness is such
a foreign concept to me
not a day goes by
where I don't at least
shed a tear or two

the smile that you see
plaster on my face
is about to crack
and show the
sorrow that I feel

I'm trapped
in emotional overload
and I cant
seem to find my way out
I'm sitting here crying
suffering from all the
failures of my life

Nothing I do
Is ever right
Everyone was telling the true
I'm nothing but a
waste of space

No matter what I do
it just ends up
falling through
failure should be my
middle name

I'm trapped
in emotional overload
and I cant
seem to find my way out
I'm sitting here crying
suffering from all the
failures of my life

I'm nothing
but a disappointment
to everyone in my family
I am what is called
the black sheep
no one is
ever proud of me

WHY can't for a change
I be good
WHY Can't I
be the golden child
Goddess WHY??

I fall to my knees
in a helpless
Misery

I'm trapped
in emotional overload
and I cant
seem to find my way out
I'm sitting here crying
suffering from all the
failures of my life

The Hawk,
Closed off,
distant,
shrouded in darkness
A past worthy of
its own horror movie.

The Kitty,
Timid,
Defiant,
Stubborn till the end
A past filled with
Pain, loss, and sorrow.

The Hawk always protecting
the small little kitty
Trying to keep her pure.

The small little kitty always trying
to bring the hawk into the light
To show him his worth

They nip and play
always fighting
the sibling war.

No matter how mad they get at one another
They have eachothers backs.
Ready to defend and protect,
trust the other to do the same

The Hawk and the Kitty
Both so strong, both so Proud,
arent afraid to let the other see,
their vonerable side.
They arent afraid to let
their weakness show.

The Hawk
and
the kitty
Brother and sister
In every way
that counts.

I am his lady
and he is my lord
My bodyguard
my protector
an important part of my world

His embrace is the
only place I feel safe.
His every changing eyes
put me in a trance
and hold me captive

His smile is so irresistible
It makes me want to kiss him
It feels so normal
the feeling of his chest
against my head as he
pulls me into his arms.

My heart slowly but surely
becoming completely his.
I cant imagine life without him
Not even for a second
I crave to feel his presence around me.

its scary how easy
those three little words
slip from my mouth
But I mean them
every time

Because he is my lord
And I am forever his lady

Spray from the falls caught the sunlight.
Glittering halo.
Magical and human, healthy and glad.
Swallowed my tears.
Glittering halo.
Our parting bittersweet.
Swallowed my tears.
Hugged long and hard.
Our parting bittersweet.
Patted her cheek one last time and turned away.
One day we'd bee together again the two princesses of Bamarre.
Spray from the falls caught the sunlight.
Patted her cheek one last time and turned away.
One day we'd be together again the two princesses of Bamarre.
Magical and human, healthy and glad.

All those years ago.
You left my life
without even a good bye.
From fifteen to eighteen
there was a empty hole in my heart
where you are meant to be.
My big brother.
Why did you have to leave me?

You thought it was for the best
You thought I didnt need you.
But guess again.
I still need my big brother.

You came back when I was ninteen
Promised me you would never leave again.
I took your word for it.
You never go back on your word.

YOU PROMISED ME HAWK!!!!!!!!

But here you are leaving my life again
Just when I need my big brother the most.

How dare you do this to me
You ******* *******!
I HATE YOU
But I love you with all my heart

You're my big brother Hawky
I need my brother.

Don't leave my life
You promised.

This is a Pregnancy loss Poem that is quite long. I wanted to warn ahead of time in case of triggering topics!



You dont know what its like
To have millions of dreams for the future
and then have them ripped away from you
all in a blink of an eye.

You dont know what its like
to love a tiny human you havent even met yet
just to have to say goodbye
before you even said Hello.

You dont even know what its like
To give birth to your child
just to hear *"she's gone"
and cry like your heart has been ripped out.

You dont know what its like
to go home with empty arms
when all you want to do
is cling to your child.

You dont know what its like
To never hear their first cry
or laugh, or see their first smile
or  hear their first "I love you mommy/Daddy".

You dont know what its like
to feel like you failed your child
when they needed you the most
and hear the words "there is nothing you can do"

You dont know what its like
to hold your child's urn and sob
Sob for the life you never met
sob until there are no more tears left

You dont know what its like
to wake up in the middle of the night
from a horrible nightmare
only to realize it's actually your new reality

You dont know what its like
to feel like there is a hole in your heart
that doesnt seem to ever heal or lessen
but seems to grow deeper with each breath.

You dont know what its like
to be jealous of the people around you
Holding and showing their newborn babies
and Screaming *"ITS NOT FAIR!"

You dont know what its like
To be told *"GOD HAD A REASON"
and wanting to scream
"You're god must be cruel to want my child dead!"

You dont know what its like
To be stuck in so much pain
and watch the world around you move on
Terrified you're child will soon be forgotten by them.

You dont know what its like
to be so Terrified to talk about them
becuase you dont want to make others uncomfortable
But it pains you deeply to be silent

You dont know what its like
to wake up each morning knowing
your baby is no longer with you,
that you have to keep going on without them

And if you know what it is like
I am so Terribly Sorry for your pain
No one and I mean NO ONE
Should have to go through this pain.
I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy

A smell of wine and cheap perfume

Spilling from his earphones

It goes on and on and on

As he grins up at me

Strangers Waiting

Grab my wrists pushing me to the ground

Up and down the boulevard

Climbs on top tugging down my jeans

Their shadows searching In the night

I kick and I scream Pleading him to stop

Streetlights, people Livin' just to find emotion

No one's around to hear my call

Hidin' somewhere in the night

I close my eyes ready to just give in

Don't stop believin'

You know those oh so annoying calls?
telemarketers
They **** you off so much right?

Wells heres tips on how to deal with them
THE RIGHT WAY

1. Don't be rude to them
its not their fault your number popped up on their call list

2. Don't be mad when their information is wrong
again ITS NOT THIER FAULT that the lists they were given were never updated

3. DO NOT MOCK THEM!!!
They are Smart people annd know when you are, They have feelings to you know!

4. DO NOT UNDER ANY CUIRCUMSTANCES CALL THEM NAMES OF ENDERMENT
baby, sweetheart, hunny, sweety. Its creepy, uncomfortable, and makes you look like a disrespectful creep

5. DO NOT CALL THEM DEGRADING NAMES
*****, The C word, *****, ect ect, all it does is make you look like a complete and utter disrespectful Douchbag

6. the most improtant one of all!!!
If you are fed up completely then just NICELY ask them to put you on thier do not call list
It takes 30 days for that request to go through after that you wont be bugged by them again

THERE YOU GO PEOPLE.
NOW COME ON
LETS ALL PLAY NICE
SHALL WE???

Wooden structure that plagues my mind
I sit and watch them tear you down
Rip up your swing set, crush your slide
It's all to much I just want to cry

You were the one my grammy took me too
My cousins And I ran around your grounds
Our laughter now haunts your gravesite

They said you were getting too old
creaking dangerously and giving kids splinters
Parents were yelling at you left and right
But I rememeber you in all your glory

You're tire swing and glimming slides
the "wave" bridge and the little cubby holes
The ones that were perfect for hide and seek games.

But now you are gone,
torn down and thrown away
Crazy colored plastic now resides
where you once stood so tall

Even though you are gone
You will never be forgotten
The joy you brought will forever be treasured

I'm a creature of the night.
The shadow in the dark alley.
I'm the whisper you hear in the wind.
Glistening Fangs
A thirst for blood
The Huntress
There is no need to fear me.
I'm no monster.
I'm just a creature of the night.

What happens when the beauty has lost her beast?
And a cold wind has blown its way into her heart?

A curse of her own cast itself upon her shattered world
What once brought her joy now brings tears of bitter sorrow.

Her kindness and love decay and rot within her
Their diseased death tainting her soul.

The burning fire of her spirit doused   With hate and anger.
Its smoke wailing to the heavens above.

From her bitter tears a rose is formed.
Its black velvet petals shiny with poisoned heartache

A petal will fall every sunset as her hatred grows.
Only to stop when her pain has ended.

And so they drop.
As lifeless as her world has become

Drop
The anger grows

Drop
Coiling in her veins

When they all rot
There will be no salvation

And the last rose petal fell

Magnum honey
put down the gun
Please don't do this
It wont be any fun

I know you're hurting
I know you're in pain
But suicide is a permenant thing
for a temperary Pain

I'm here for you
your Little Kotehok
I will never stray

You're stronger then this
I know its scary
I know you just want to lay down
and
D
I
E

But Mags Dont do this
I need you in my life
You're my Onekyh

I know you're slipping
I know you're empty

But put down the Russian *****
And put down that pistel

I'm here
I'm here for you
Lean on me
I've got you.

Wings Wrapped around me

Oh so Tight

Which use to give me

Joy and Light

Feathers are fading

darkness is growing

I know I've lost

this fight

Wings are tattered

Dull with Pain

Flames will soon ignite.

With the lies that fall
so smoothly off your lips
my trust in you crumbles
my heart breaks and bleeds.

The lying
it comes so easily.
It's as if you don't care
about the hurt they cause.

I hate this,
I hate second guessing
every action and word
wondering if its just another lie.

Do you care?
that why hurt me deeply?
that they are tearing me apart?
DO you?

Christmas time wont be the same
not without your adorable face,
and witty loving humor.

I didn't know you all that well
But you've always been there.
For as long as I can remember.
Every single Christmas memory
You love and comfort
are always there.

Rest easy **** Lucile
I hope heaven is beautiful
I hope you are no longer in pain

Watch over me
watch over all of us

I love you
You will forever be
In my heart

Pale skin So delicate
One touch can bruise it

Full lips cherry red
One kiss can make them swell

Big eyes baby blue
One move can make them tear

Precious life so fragile
In a blink of an eye it vanishes

My love so beautiful
Lush black hair Smooth as silk
Gentle voice and big heart

Her heart,
Counting out the beats of her life
Her mortal soul and numbered days

Where as I
Immortal creature of the dark
Forever laid out before me

Why is it my fate
To fall for someone
Whom I can never have  

All I have ever longed for
Placed in this mortal women

Love, comfort, trust, safety
Harbored in her heart
Reach out to me without fear

But it is I who is afraid
Afraid to love her
Afraid to lose her

Her life is a fracture
A blink of an eye
Compared to my damnation

Curse this immortality
That has been spelled upon me