Faint memories of you from years ago
Not the best, full of anger and hate
Two people who were supposed to love each other
Unconditionally, always and forever
At each other’s necks, murderous.
He wouldn’t fall for it, her controlling nature.
Three children together, part of a broken home
Never knew the love of a real family
Stuck with the bitterness of a lonely mother
Without the presence of a father figure

She lost hope, dated only men she could control
Lied to the children, told them their father left
That he no longer cared for them,
Didn’t want to be in their life any more.

But he told them things would get better
That he’d try to be there
Making money was hard
Paying a greedy person ever harder.
But it’s I who sees the family falling apart
Mother is getting married to a man she can control
Letting him control and taunt us
Denying us what we need, greedy, spoiling herself

Home is where the heart is but her heart isn’t here

The way it felt to kiss you as you said goodbye,
Warmth upon my lips, passionate, loving.
Your arms around me, protecting me from the world.
Hours spent talking to each other constantly.
Now it's gone, and it's all my fault.
Now I can't talk to you, or hope to feel your warmth
I never meant for it to go this far,
To end so quickly, just one blink and it's gone.
I'm just a monster hidden behind makeup.
A selfish soul in fake skin.
Pain has never felt more deserved.

I** know I'll live with this mistake this time,
Can't blame you for hating me now.
Blame me for it all,
You were perfect for me,
For me you did everything,
This is less than deserved
I'm not going to ask you back,
Sorry that you ever chose me.

I don't want these thoughts,
But somehow they've crept upon me
As I lay sleeping in my bed.
These thoughts of me and you,
The pain that always comes with it
I feel drained of happiness,
The happiness I had with you.
I can't help but think that
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
But I can't think it true.
Without you here with me,
I know I'll always be in agony




*can't help but still think it true

As I ponder my regrets
You make the top of them

I wish I could take back
Every thing I ever said.
All the wrong, all the lies

I should have spoke the truth
When I could,
When you would've believed me

I could have apologized,
I could have made amends
But I ignored that I did wrong
I was always right,
No matter what I did.
Oh, but how I was wrong,
Wrong wrong wrong....

I'm tired of the lies,
The feelings you tend to hide.
The day to day stress
You always put me under.

I'm tired of the lies,
That empty look on your face.
That smile that you
Never show.

The guilt I hide,
Only meant to please.
Do you know how much
Damage you've inflicted?

The people who hate me
Seem to be the only ones
Able to see through this mask.

When you're upset,
Everyone tends to know.
You make no secret of it.

But when I am
The ones I hold close
Don't notice the difference
They believe my own lies.