I wanted to realize if my life mattered if I had potential to be anything,
I am just a person,
Never claimed to be perfect.
I am not a god,
I am not a caveman,
I am not a genius like Einstein,
I'm not a follower,
I'm a leader.
I lead in my own direction,
I am ME,
Not anybody else.

A soft kiss on the lips in the moonlight,
that was my end,
I lost all my sanity from a brush of your lips,
It was a great night...
All I dream of is that kiss,
All I think of is that kiss,
I still feel the electricity from the kiss,  
I still smell the cologne from your neck,
I still see the fireworks from the sensations,
I will never forget that.

A soft kiss on the lips in the moonlight.

The touch of your fingers on my hair,
The sweet things you whisper in my ear,
The smell of your skin,
The passion of your kisses,
The long hugs,
When you hold me tightly in your arm,
Cuddling by our tree,
Staring passionately into your eyes,
All the things I'll never forget about you.

Running my fingers through your hair,
Cuddling in your arms all night,
Watching you sleep because I'm not tired,
Waking you up with the light touch of my lips,
You ticking me to get your phone back,  
Whispering back and forth I love you,
Everything I want to do in life with a certain person.

When love has an essence,
Is it true?
Or is it ******* like our society,
Is love existent if all you know of is hate?  
Is mutual attraction the start of love?
Where is my prince charming?
Or my knight to come to slay the dragon?  
Where are the dozens of red roses?
Where are the men from the movies?
When you find the one how do you know?
When will my soul-mate come?
If only my life were like a cheesy 80's movies.

You drove me crazy,
With passion and lust,
Since that fateful day we first met...
You knew I had my eyes on you,
And you had your eyes on me to.

The second time I saw you I couldn't figure you out,
I took you with me to hang out with me and my family,
It was a perfect fit because my uncle absolutely adored you,
We took a picture together and sent it to my boyfriend at the time,
Just that picture reminds me of the day I fell in love with you.

Then came the breakup,
Just a simple text message no explanation...
Just that I wouldn't be physical with him,
You were there,
You picked me up,
You told me you love me,
Then I told you I love you too,
Then you asked me to be your girlfriend...
And I said yes.

Sara smiles but it never is real,
She never knows why it's her,
Sara doesn't know why this is how she feels,
She feels sad sometimes but never goes to the river.

The people at the river are depressed and unhappy,
They do things they shouldn't,
Sara's unhappiness isn't like their unhappy,
She wanted to be one of them but couldn't.  

Sara makes her addiction unseen,
She started to think life didn't matter,
Every morning she has a diet of drugs and caffeine,
She never wants to carry a tray or platter.

Sara know life is ironic,
She was great before but life stinks,
She starts to think life is demonic,
She goes to the river and makes herself sink.

Watching midnight strike,
The clock stands at the foot of my bed,
Ticking the seconds till death becomes me,
Thinking about life is all I can do,
Watching others love while I waste away,
The torture and humiliation of high school,
The death of my soul,
The beautiful music I made,
The love I gave but was never given back,
One last pill or cut of the wrist...
I welcome you death with open arms.

I followed you blindly into the light,
All that shined was our love,
Then like flowers it wilted and died,
I am now only a shadow a lost soul caught...
Snagged against the tree of our love,
Waiting for you to come back and help me,
You never came and I just sat there to die...
Till morning came again and I found a new lover,
The one and only prince charming on his white horse...

Waiting for blood to drip from,
the tips of my fingers,  
Waiting for all my blood to go down the drain,
Here I write my suicide letter:
I'm sorry to all I've wronged,
I never meant to hurt anybody...
But my own worst enemy (myself),
All I've wanted in life was acceptance,
The scars I wear on my wrists are from myself,
                              Sincerely,
                                       Society

If he loves you there's no going back,
Only the present and future.
Never try to fix things you can't change.

Your first love follows you everywhere; don't deny it...
Accept it for what it is.
It is love.
**You just don't understand it yet.

Never waiting but always wanting,
Trying to become who you want to become,
who your parents want you to be,
what society wants you to be,  
looking for acceptance,
you die your hair a certain color,
you wear makeup because that's what everybody else does.
Well, ***** society.
Be yourself,
Be bold,
And don't look back.

All I've ever wanted was you...
To grow old with you,
Have a happy life with you,
To talk on the phone all night,
To look at you and have my breath taken every time,  
To take long walks,
Getting married in a little church,
Moving to the country,
Having a family,
To rock on the porch surrounded by our grandchildren,
To die old and happy embraced in your arms in my sleep.

All the things I want to do with you...
All I've ever wanted was you...

The blood running down my face,
Mixed with tears of my lover and my own,
I lie here in the street...
With a knife-mark on my cheek,
Not deep but still enough to die,
All I can see through my tears is my lover,
He's sobbing in my chest saying I'm sorry...

I am who I am,
Not who I'm not,
Walking beside me is myself,
I walk alone till sunrise,
Silently weeping on the inside,
A mask as hard as stone on the outside...
Hoping and waiting for the right person...
To break down my stone wall,
There is no window on the inside,
Please find me,
I plead to you,
Break down my barrier.

Your always there when I need you,
You hold me tight against your chest for no reason,
You pretend to sleep when I know your not,
You try not to wake me when I sleep on your chest,

Reality has been taken aback because I found you,
Nobody else will do,
Just simply you.

robbingonessoulisforbiddeninadreamworld