lost like a hollow in a hole
where the dark shadow  of my stagnant soul
tortures the light endlessly
a shadow should be cleaner
or at least have the feeling
it can be
but here i am chasing again
and if it weren't for the comfort of my
habitual self destruct
id have nothing
save for what i really yearn for.
life.

dark twists of fate
left me uncomfortable of as of late
a karmic lesson knocking at my door
where time seems to me to be a *****
she left me standing all alone
like a dog who lost his bone
a disappearing shooting star
or an empty glass at the bar
but temptation told me to wait
like the apple Adam ate
sure, it it tastes good at first
until god leaves you cursed
where you stand naked in the light
a stark contrast to the bright
no lies or  fiction
no rub to friction
the truth stands right before you
a lie you can't pretend not to see through
but belief is  a strong force
to creating life without remorse
will thy will is the law
Crowley's epitaph in the maw
and twists of fate oft come late
they are there for us to satiate
times a ***** we all share
but she's sometimes the ***** we can't bare
she's also the the ***** that we beseech
so over the wall and into the breach
go where you want whenever you go
the key is to trust and not to know
to laugh, and to lust and to enjoy
its a skill most forget to employ
passion is a fruit but its also a need
your life is a gift for you to succeed
there is an entire world for you to  immerse
as you are the only expression of you in the universe.
because death stalks us slowly until that day
its a constant  reminder  in strange way
to be who you are without being told
without fear of repercussion dare to be bold
to live your life every day
with love in your heart expressed in your own way

tarantula crawled slowly
beneath the vine of the soul
voices drifted darkly
spirits  in repose
said that not one thing stays the same
words of inspiration
where nothing is to blame
pilgrims migrate
to the sound of a horn
originally didn't stork
take the new born
must be something that i ate
mainly mushrooms, cylocybate
nevertheless something told me
leaving no debate
our wise and giving mother
we first scorned then we *****
was a guitar sound that got me
it played out of tune
like an octave burning slowly
a red flame but cold ember
over a sparse and lonely moon
she crawled over careful
venomous hairs across  her back
a calculated movement
the spider who caught the cat
its not the fangs that scare me
a wise but ugly man once said
its the fear we inject
like a venom working slowly
it seeps till at first you can't move
and eventually your dead.

for BD

it crawled up my arm this time
through my ear and inside my mind
while a liquid the color of blood
trickled from my eye
a sound from a bell tower churned
Like martinis shaken than  poured  over ice
a man turned towards me
He made a bet and cast his dice
All the while a clock was ticking loudly
an echo inside  my head
A boatman was shouting in the distance
your here now
but soon you´ll be dead
and the Cheshire he smiled warmly
as the spider laid its trap
doubt not your heart he said
there's more to  truth there than just the facts
trumpets were playing  loudly
And the executioner held his axe
a moon crested over horizon
While a play write was finishing his act
he lit a cigarette mildly and tossed it on the floor
smoke plumed out the window and then was no more
death can be blinding
said a rattling snake
he left his skin behind him
and towards the future he did make

sensate overload
left  me chasing the feeling
of that first time high....

death becomes white moon
ghost taken from paradise
eagle leaves his roost

eyes locked and i knew
i have always needed you
my heart knows its true