Contently curled fingers and toes
On pale gooseflesh limbs gone still,
Across each other and a downy blanket
It was held, but it came willingly.
Outside, frozen wintry branches peacefully slumbering, fallen in a drift of snow.
Patiently awaiting spring to rot to soil on soil.
Inside, dust motes wandering lazily in swathes of sunlight by the millions and billions
A scale model of celestial bodies orbiting and being orbited endlessly.
Pinpricks representing the possibilities seemingly spread before us
In reality, mocking the obvious and inevitable single result.
A soft sigh, a low murmur returned
I want to remember this because I know it will end


And the snow melted and the lilacs fragrantly erupted
And limbs and fingers and toes kept too warm alone
And all was movement and noise and
And the air carried the scent of time like a warning
And pollen held a vice grip on nostrils and lungs and eyes and brains and
By one it was released, from the other it escaped
But don’t you remember?
And it did end.

We will be separated
So soon
So soon
So soon
No matter what
We do
So just keep smiling
So sadly
At me.
Because
So soon
Everything
Will be over
And you'll be
An old, old story
That brings a lump in my throat
So soon.

I have longed for this year since fourth grade
When I learned what a val-e-dic-tor-ian was
And realized I wanted to be one.

I have longed for this year since I was fifteen
And wanted to leave home
Go out and explore the bigger world
Free of parents and noisy siblings.

I have longed for this year since my first college tour
And I saw the hubbub
The libraries, the labs, the dorms, the giant sweatshirts
And noticed how small and quiet my high school was.

We picked out caps and gowns
Red
We lead the pep rallies now
The loudest yet
We're taking physics, and calculus, and the SATs
Feeling scholarly
We picked out how our names appear on our diplomas
First M. Last
We have our licenses
Drive to school
We fill out college applications endlessly
And endlessly...
We picked our prom theme
Great Gatsby
We're getting lazy very quickly
Senioritis

Graduation keeps us going
Graduation is the goal
Graduation is the light at the end of the tunnel
Graduation in June
Graduation in red polyester
Graduation in the sun
Graduation is the end

But wait.
Hold up.
Stop.
Stop.
STOP!

Seven more months with you?
You, who I've stared at for four years?
You, whose smiles make my day?
You, whose face I look for in crowds?
You, who are the most amazing person I've ever met?
You, who I haven't even asked out?
You, who have no idea who I feel?
You, who might by some miracle possibly feel the same way?
You, who I'll regret never making a move with for the rest of my life?
You?
Seven. Months.?

HOLD UP SENIOR YEAR SLOW DOWN GRADUATION THERE'S A BOY.

I was alone
Before you found me
I saw no good
I was a cynic
A hatred of love burned in me
I was of the shunned
I saw no one to love
And no saw me to love
I trudged on
As the terrain grew more desolate
As deserts and mountains of ice closed me in
As I gave up
I was rescued
From darkness
I was rescued by the light
My cynicism
Replaced by optimism
My longing
Found love
Found you

My dear you are testimony
And all are witness
To the perfection that nature can produce
You are the lone rose
Whose beauty triumphs over all of its kind
You are a graceful hawk
Whose elegant flight is perfection
You are a gentle whale
Whose calm puts all at peace
My love you are the elegant spider
Whose beautiful web has caught my heart

Smooth skin
The quiet sound of light breathing
The warmth
The press of your body on mine
Your arms around me
Hands on my chest
Stroking my neck
My face
Your fingers running through my hair
Slowly
Slowly
Gently
My eyes closed
Not tired enough to sleep
But safe enough to try
Your closeness
Feeling your every movement
Your gentle shifting
Your examining eye
Pondering over me
Your brooding mind thinking
Quietly
Peacefully
No safer place
No better place
Than in your arms

Old stale black licorice
Crushed with a rolling pin
Ground into a minuscule mountain of ash
On the kitchen counter
And the tears rolled down my cheeks to wet the ashes
But all remained still in the cold, lonely kitchen
Nothing
Was born again
And again forever