Looking back, it was such a dark autumn.
I couldn’t fight the voices in my head,
thinking that, I wouldn’t breathe without him,
so I held on to a dying thread.

But in this new city, my eyes see the sky differently,
& I can remember the hand that kept me from drowning.
To sum it all up, we will never truly understand His love,
but looking back, I know, He kept me close enough.

6.11.21

Way too often I look for justification of everyone’s actions in every situation, believing that evil has its own limitations and every tired soul is looking for salvation.

I’m not changing.

9.8.19

It was my fault that I was sitting all alone and you needed a moment to make yourself feel grown.
Maybe if I hadn’t looked so defenseless you would have been able to control your rudeness.
It was my fault that you pushed every button down my spine and because I didn’t fight back, you didn’t have a reason to change your mind.
All of those lessons from your youth- you started to forget because it was my fault that I made myself your target.

9.8.19

Back to reality
where we’ve been waiting in different capacities
for a safe place to run to-
who knew that mine would be you?

Back roads sprinkled with hope;
heart-shaped raspberry smoke.
First sips of cupcake moscato,
not wishing for tomorrow.

So I’ll leave my hair on your jacket,
take a piece of me back to Kansas
and please remember me
like the night when I was set free.

And you’ll leave your mark on my skin.
I won’t even start to pretend
that I don’t smile at the memory
of the night when I was set free.

05.13.19

Our hearts connect by poetry;
you've read the best and worst from me.
Watched naïve intentions as they've grown
into peaceful chemistry.

Then ruined by anxiety;
the beast and its variety,
when left all alone,
interrupted all that was promising.

Now hours start to feel like days
as I watch my safe place burst into flames.
I can't save us on my own
so I start to pray.

02.12.19

full moon nights; October storms,
bodies connected in innocent form.
if I could go back, freeze time in its tracks:
I’d always be yours.

02.12.19

The wind is picking up again;
we're in the middle of a hurricane
and it's easier to build a wall and defend
ourselves at the first sign of pain

but you put me on the fence,
forcing me to choose,
not what makes sense
but what I'm afraid to lose.

Hand in hand,
interlaced,
your sweet neck
hides my face.
This is where
I feel safe.

02.09.19