Thoughts flood
Like the flow of blood
Deep in my veins
I lose the reins
I may wonder
What if the thunder
Hit me one night
Hearing out of sight
What if I had begun
What should not be done
Would I be alive
Would I thrive
No matter how futile
I wonder once in a while
What if I did not surrender
Would I be much better
What if the blade cut
Would it have shut
All these open doors
Would others be there
Would people still care
It is in these stars
I think of all my scars
Scars that cannot be seen
Scars that have always been
Christ has set me free indeed
Yet I still have this great need
Sin remains my fight
Even in the dark night
I have true salvation
But recall the abomination
That once was me
And looking back I see
That growth has taken place
As I tirelessly pursue His face
I cannot claim
That I’m the same
As the one I follow
I’ve my own sorrow
I’ve my own blemishes
Yet He finishes
The faith I’ve been given
Because He has risen
It is in my eyes
That I realize
That no amount
Of inner doubt
No what if thought
Could make Him nought
Even the worst me
Is loved endlessly
No matter how wrong
He makes me belong

I spoke all my words
I see the vision blurred
I am terrified to the core
What would she do if she saw
I want to be better
I want write the perfect love letter
But what if she knew
Can she see right through
I’m just a boy who prays
Who has been caught in a daze
I fail in areas I should not
I do like her a lot
It appears I am all over the place
I know how deeply I need grace
Lord forgive me for failing
Help me return to smooth sailing
Conform my mind to Yours
Show me the open doors
Help me to love her
And not to stir
The things that should sleep
Lord please will You keep
My heart and my soul
In Your perfect control

To my sweet Saviour
I thank You for Your favour
You have given me my dreams
You have heard all my screams
When there was war on the inside
In You I could confide
When I was truly broken
Your soft words were spoken
Through every single low
You still helped me grow
Your grace is more than enough
When life is good or tough
When I thought there was no more
Then You let my heart soar
You led me to meet
A lady so sweet
A lady whose heart is Yours
Oh Lord be the One to open doors
You introduced her to me
And Your beauty I can see
In her word and action
Even in our interaction
I thought I had tasted the best
I thought I was already blessed
Now You have shown me more
And my heart does adore
The love You have given
Possible cause You have risen
I never thought I might be
A man with such a lady
A lady who prays
A lady who lays
Down her will
For the Lord's fill
Oh may she be forever blessed
Cause she is the best of the best

How many pages must I fill
To describe this inner thrill
Higher than the highest cloud
I always want her around
Her smile uplifts me
She has a Godly beauty
Her words are so kind
She just blows my mind
And yet the greatest thing
Is Christ is in everything
When I am weak she is strong
Now my heart does truly long
To stand in a strength not my own
That I may always lead her home
Home to heaven above
And surround her with love
That she will never doubt
That I could never do without
Her in my life and mind
She is the treasure that I find
I hope she will always know
She is the reason I glow
She gave me her time
And so inspired this rhyme
My heart just cannot contain
My happiness when I hear her name