I find more comfort in my solitude than from "friends".

Here is where it all begins
Back to the wall and in tears again
Feeling confined like a caged bird inside my glass coffin
Singing and pleading to be heard every so often
Oh how this silence, so deafening
Feels safe in its cruelty and listening
No fear and no demands within these walls where I wallow
Just control and defiance and feelings and words swallowed
I swear to myself "This is the last time."
But I prefer broken fairy tales over nursery rhymes
You said "Do what you need to get your mind right."
So I lie in wait on the promise of your fated, fantasy kiss
Here in our stifled and shielded unwedded bliss
Night
.... after night
      .... after night

Sometimes I feel
Like a dying rose
Missing your gentleness
as my eyes beg to close
Aching for the way
your eyes caress me
the way you inhale me
and longing for your hands
to remove the thorns from me
Plucked from the garden
Your eyes start to harden
Lonely from losing my petals
Under burden of a heavy heart
There are nights without you
That feel cold and so dark
Rushing into fitful dreams
While the rest of the garden sleeps tonight
But I look forward
to the warmth of morning
the end of uncomfortable needing
and a brand new start
Please allow me your light
Only you can make it all right

Heaven at the tip of your tongue
Hips writhing before you've even begun
Honey dripping off your chin
Lips whispering tales of sin
Wile away the evening hours
Inhaling and tasting her exotic flower
Fill her with your sensual fingers
*******, like half moons, rise
as your touch lingers
Exploring her body constellation
Being inside is your destination
Watch her face as she quietly begs
Force her and tell her to spread her legs
You may never know her ecstasy
But she'll steal the stars to be your fantasy

So hard to ignore the longing
When it starts to take hold
Your arms make me feel safe
and warm me when I'm cold
I hope our hearts will remember
When we forget what we've been told
That when there is trouble
To love even harder, heart and soul
I will try to remember your fragility
Even now, long before we're old
And keep creating memories
As our story continues to unfold

Awake for hours
Before morning breaks
My body never settled
And my heart still aches
It feels like days
Since I kissed your lips
Even though it was just hours
I always feel like this
So I lie here waiting
In the dark
Wishing my head was resting
On your precious heart
Forever grateful
For the time we share
It's hard to not want
And to not always be there
But there's no need
For your concern
I only ache
Because I yearn
For the love of you
And your sensual touch
It's just been one of those nights
When I missed you too much
I'm thankful for you
And the love you give
For our future ahead
And the life we will live

All the time I've spent with you
Still fascinated by our connection
Love has never felt so true
It feels like romantic resurrection
The lights go down each evening
And my heart seeks her other half
Aching for the next kiss from your lips
Waiting patiently for the night to pass
I love you so, my precious man
An ecstatic future lit by moonbeams
Just be with me and hold my hand
And I'll see you tonight in my dreams

Sweet and all-consuming
The spell you have cast is looming
Hovering like a halo
over my head
Making me wish
I was back in your bed
The scent of your skin
begins to fade
And the ache between my thighs
where your mouth last laid
Begins to build upon itself
Only you can resolve it
There is no one else
My wanton lust
and my desire for pain
Will not be satisfied
Until I feel you again
Please hear me, my Love
As I beckon to you
I'm holding my breath
Until I turn blue

May you always be
This precious to me
My sweet, darling lover
You take me over
So powerfully
Lie still with me sometimes
And when we walk, hold my hand
When I am hurting or angry
Try to soothe and understand
With each goodnight kiss
You seem to grant my every wish
Just give me your love
Keep me always in mind
And I will be the softest refuge
your heart will ever find

Deep, velvet darkness summons me
Although she will only tease and taunt
A black cloak of restlessness
Leaving me sleepless and filled with want
So many nights draped in such sweet longing
The taste of your skin on my breath
Hoping that this ache never ends
A dream we share that will surpass Death

The coming of dawn
And my mind lingers on
The set of hopes and dreams
We keep building upon
With every touch of your hand
I better understand
How much of yourself
You give to our plans
These long, quiet nights
Spent bathed in your light
Still living on your essence
Waiting for the time to be right
I want you to know
As we learn and we grow
That your arms are my home
There is no place I'd rather go

It was a dark and stormy night
Oceans of tears I didn't want you to taste
My face wet with confusion and fright
Waking you from your slumber in haste
I kept thinking that his ship was sailing
While I'm here simply sinking
As the life I built drifted away
Was I letting myself drown
Was I letting you down?
But the truth is that my saving grace
Is your loving touch and your beautiful face
We just need to be alone
Someplace safe where we can be at home
You've set us upon a course
That leaves little room for remorse
I just need to float away with you
A little boat to spend the days with you
To seek the bliss we are sure to find
Once I can rest my troubled mind

A hazy early morning clears
Slowly opening weary eyes
Realizing you're not here
Counting the seconds
as they drag by
And as I fell to sleep
I imagined you were there
With me
I recalled the time
Before you were really mine
When all we had
Was a melting phone line
And it dawned on me
How amazing life can be
While I cherish this single, silent tear
I still wish you were here

Intensity
The feeling you give me
When your eyes penetrate my layers
Suspended and upside-down like my world
Peeling away my defenses
Making me feel like a little girl
You scan the canvas of my every flaw
Inhibitions torn open and ****** raw
Like a pair of ******* taken off with your teeth
An incredible tease and eventual relief
As you move in for your sensual ****
My body responds to each and every thrill
Intensity
Beyond belief

I listened to the gentle throbbing
of your heart beneath my head
As we settled into the afterglow
in the warmth of your bed
As we lie there together, just breathing
I thought to myself
how I had less of a need
for anything else
I doesn't take lots of money
to make things okay
It just takes communication
to keep my worried heart at bay
And it doesn't take diamonds
to prove ones devotion
Our love has kept us together
Despite miles or mountains or oceans
It doesn't take words
spilled from unsure mouths
Or a luxurious life
Or a big, fancy house
It will only take time
because we deserve and need it so
For my healing and for security
To honor our love and let it grow
Time to create memories
that we will look back on and sigh
Time to experience and enjoy each other
and more time to laugh until we cry

The moon is breathtaking
Silent and bright
A silver glow
Against the black canvas of night
Still and calm
Full of positive light
And at the same time
A different moon collides
Thrashing and angry
Tearing at my insides
Blood ritual of womanhood
A kind of pain I cannot abide
Retrograde
A lunar eclipse
Nowhere near as meaningful
as standing in the moonlight
Your hands on my wide hips
Whispers
Warm and reassuring
And a kiss from your lips

Your love eclipses everything.

I know your heart
"like the back of my hand"
You have become
the biggest part of my plans
When I feel weak,
will you understand?
"Are you strong enough to be my man?"
These days are dark
but you're my light
You help me through
and set things right
And sometimes
I feel too weak to stand
Am I strong enough
to hold your hand?
But then I remember
who we are
You're the companion moon
to my every star
And we stay connected
Near or far
I am with you
Because of who you are

When people say
"I'm not out of the woods yet"
It means they're still not healed
Still tangled
Still mangled
Amongst the trees and branches
Roots tripping them up
Pine needles in their hair
Trying to clear a path to escape
Darkness
Blurred stares
Is it an accident that you ventured in?
Was it curiosity that led you out the door?
Circumstances beyond your control?
Or do you continue to amble aimlessly
down the same path of treachery you walked before?
When leaving a trail of breadcrumbs only leads you back to your past
Wouldn't you rather be lost than home safely this time?
Do you heed those warnings and beware of the Big Bad Wolf in the woods?
Do you betray all that is in your head and your heart?
Or do you do as you should?

"My heart is a tomb
My heart is an empty room
I’ve given it away
I never want to see it again

And all your words could save me
But keep your love away from me..."

- Chelsea Wolfe

I settled in
And I settled with it
I had logic when I drifted off
But an entirely different shadow casts its cruel light this morning
As I rise and realize
The Silence
The Unknown
The taste of limerent panic
Devours everything in its path
And in its wake
Like a flood
I had logic when I drifted off
Logic when we last spoke
Logic when we kissed with hope
And now
My mind is crawling
with the worst possibilities
Triggered
and riddled with evil trickery
My eyes are open too wide
Searching in this vicious darkness
For you
Like wind through the trees
I'm left breathless in the breeze
Unsettled and sleepless
Weak in the knees
It's always this way on nights like these

The light leaves my eyes
in the wake of silence
Yet, the noise in my ears
is deafening
The pounding of my heavy heart
Defiant
Covert punishment
Tired of being tested
of being tempted
of being bested
So tired
But sleep won't come tonight
Not without a fight
I'll watch the hours pass instead
with unfeeling eyes
from an empty bed
while my need for resolve is slowly swept beneath forced phrases
Empty gazes
Frozen faces
Like thousands of silent, crawling insects
My mind and my body are restless
This is the sound of
refusal to accept
the denial
and the disconnect

I cannot help but channel you when we are apart, as this Love has become my very energy
I bide my time and visualize the movements we make, the way our bodies embrace and entwine with such fluidity
I cannot imagine a break in our ever growing bonds, our sameness, our connection, our continuity
I see you now in moments captured, in tiny time capsules, held in precious hands like fragile shells of destiny
I long for every moment in which we plan and build and give ourselves over to our bliss, our own Heaven
Our Eternity

There are ways in which the world
can turn things into distant memories
Broken hearts
Dreams torn apart
Worn out pages from weary stories
But our connection continues to deepen
even as the world outside tries to seep in
We don't just go through the paces
Instead we visit all new places
Bathed in this Love
in this light
even on the darkest, coldest night
I stay warm in your arms
In your embrace
and wait for the next moment
when my eyes will adore your face

The darkest eyes and darker hours
Kisses from your lips devoured
You grant me the glow from your crimson light
and name me your Goddess every night
I find myself dreaming and drowning in you
pillows still warm from your body and blankets scented by two
The feeling of your arms and sweet affection
In this room,
Surrounded by you in every direction
This unmade bed where we share our desires
Where our passion burns and our love aspires
Dimmed lights and candles because my lover remembers,
My hair across your pillow,
where my dreams are smoldering embers
This is no longer a foreign place
Your bed feels like home in a different space
Delicate breathing, ambient songs
Your bed is a haven where I feel I belong

My Love lies restless
Fevered in his bed
His essence removed
Replaced with illness instead
As I rested beside him
So reluctant to part
The warmth of his face
Stilled my beating heart
Such longing and devotion
His words caress my mind
I'll wish upon the stars tonight
That he will wake
and feel just fine

Conscious and unconscious
Dreamily disjointed
Bedtime storytelling
Insomnia takes me
for another walk in the park
Sleepless ramblings in the dark
Lonely for company
She collects me
My slumber-starved mind summons
He wakes and I wait
Feeling him close, as he lives within
Sensing his presence
I can almost see the glow
of his bedroom light
Something stirring in the distant night
My heart beats faster
as my Lover writes

Your desire is fierce
Fiery
Pulling at clothes and messy hair
Honey mouths and writhing tongues
Exposing my private, smoldering need
Impatient lips to spread and feed

Your desire is languid
Romantic
Gentle eyes and admiration
Warm caresses and butterfly lashes
Taking me slowly down with you
Tasting, inhaling and enjoying the view

Your desire is cruel
Unapologetic
Dominant and demanding
Force feeding flesh and flogging fists
Unrelenting commands for pleasure
Pure and raw, ******* without measure

This love I feel for you
Designed by what we do
How deeply we believe
The way we give and receive
Speaking in romantic phrases
Passionate tongues in intimate places
Touched by things from memories past
Knowing we were made to last
And as we devour another year
All I can think of is
"I wish you were here."

Your absence leaves me vulnerable
Missing you until the ache becomes palpable
My heart and my mind feel left behind
Because my need for you is a constant struggle
Distance is something we've changed
As our lives have become rearranged
When you're so very close
My heart sighs in repose
But when you're away it all feels so strange

Distance and longing
Tempered by a sense of belonging
We express such affection
Tempered by love and connection
Dreams like these come but once in a lifetime, if ever
Penned forever
Black paper and inked in silver, line by line
Each precious rhyme
Showing our feverish devotion to one another
As we share millions of kisses and caresses
And count the moments
on the delicate fingertips
of the hands of time

I.
There are places in you
I love most to explore
Not your body but a journey
Into so much more
Your mind, winding like a labyrinth
Your heart, warm like your embrace
Your eyes, deep green like absinthe
and the beautiful way your love shows on your face

II.
The exquisite feeling
The perfect way we fit
There is no way
to ever replace it
The taste of you lingering on my lips
The wanton lust from deep inside
The way you move between my hips
The way you make it impossible for me to hide

You've written stories with your blood on the walls
So many scars reveal how far you'd fall
And now it's different, it's like heaven instead
Descending deeper into love and in bed

We say we want to die together
To be as one forever and ever
I realize this dream is going to come true
Just **** me first before I **** you

I looked down and saw my blood on your hands
And in that moment I could understand
You'd have me naked and writhing under your touch
I won't protest because I love you too much

Your scars are like reminders of pain and pride
And mine is a reason for me to want to hide
But you don't let me cover what you think I should show
The less I wear the more you want me to know

Burn it into me that I belong to you
Remind me, always, that we'll never be through
But let's play games where I can try to run
So you can hold me down and *******

When you feel like crumbling
Let me help you put the pieces into place
Just remember I'm also stumbling
But it's all better when I see your face
When I'm hurting and cannot speak
You draw me out and talk me down
And when you get to feeling weak
I'll remind you of your strength and straighten your crown
Your passion lies within this tattered heart
My only hope is that we continue to fall
I have belonged to you from the very start
My forever is yours and I'll die with you after it all

**** them all
The doubts
The nightmares
Make them go away
To give way
For hopes
Dreams
Sensual scenes of play
My love
You are the breath of me
Living inside
Deep in the breast of me
Forever my destiny
Shudder to think
One could ever destroy
Something so beautiful
Built on words
On chance
And now we passionately dance
Consumed by one another
What was never meant to last
Is all in the past

Your eyes speak to mine
as does your beautiful mind
No one else could ever know
the depth of our dreams
Or the passionate means
by which they were designed
Our future lies ahead
But for now,
we live in precious moments
Treasures like a child might find
Held safe but no longer secret
No longer captive
Because our love is not blind
This present tense feeling
All butterflies and kisses so kind
Has been a long time coming
Our connection remains
a fascinating mystery
Created by a history
that we will never leave behind

Waking with a careful start
Mindful of your anxious heart
You speak of things I also feel
I share in your desire
for the dreams to be real
So many thoughts
while confined to my bed
A love never lost
to the pain in my head
So I wake and I rise
Defiant against the pain
Wanting only to feel
Your arms around me again

Once upon a time in a magical place
Not a single tear ever touched your face
There was no pain or suffering
No broken promises or fears
Only dreams and wishes
and the sound of laughter in your ears
But heartbreak comes unexpectedly
I try hiding it away until it breaks free
Filled to bursting
My tears come through
With regret from the disappointment
I have created in you
There is no one on Earth
Who touches my heart like you can
The way you hold me
The way you help me
The way you care and understand
My home in your arms is the only saving grace
I may not be perfect, but my heart
is in the right place
Just try to remember to give sadness equal space
And I'll try to brush these angry tears from my face

Dearest love of mine
How I cherish the hours
You open me like a flower
Touching and tasting
Bodies naked and entwined
Each moment spent
Kisses leading to ecstasy
Writhing beneath your deviant need
Coming in floods
That will not relent
My body is but an altar
to your sensuality
As we live and breathe
Inside one another
I cannot imagine another lover
That could ever do what you do to me
Dearest love of mine
I want you to know
I will never let go
The ache would be my death
My heart is yours by design
And I will be yours
Until the end of time

The way that we wake
A warmth like no other
Disquieting the silence
The voice of my lover
He speaks in soft whispers
Low moans in my ear
Bestowing the sweet words
I so long to hear
"Open your legs"
As he teases and moves
And touches my wetness
That serves only as proof
"Come for me, Kitten"
His *** rising to meet mine
Such penetrating heat
As we ignore the time
Soft, slow and deep
And he melts into me
Morning washes over us
And we fall back to sleep