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You said you wanted to
Know me better
So here I go:

I've got exactly 28 pens
I know because I counted

I've got too many notebooks
Yet I can't stop
Buying more and more

Sometimes when it's 4 am
And my mind is
Driving me to the brink
Of total insanity
I take 3 showers
to try and calm myself down
(It never works)

I like apple juice but I hate apples

I've never been good in math

There are too many
Cigarette burns
On the crook of my elbow
And scars on my thighs
and demons in my head

I love the smell of cinnamon

Once when I was 15
I drank blue paint
Because I think blue is beautiful
And I wanted to be beautiful too

That didn't work

So I drank a bottle of bleach
To clean my very core

It didn't work either

Now you know me better
I understand if you'd want
To run away now
It's okay
Save yourself
Run
Wrote this on a paper napkin at a Chinese restaurant today
 Jul 2013 December
umbrellas
Rain
 Jul 2013 December
umbrellas
tears fall from the eyes of heaven
healing the pain of bittersweet memories
wash me away in tranquil melodies
of morning rain
 Jul 2013 December
st64
sharing a spot of brilliance with you
yes, it will touch your internals
only if you want it to*


Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the ******. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”                       ― Rosemarie Urquico








S T, 5 July 2013
Oh man, isn’t that just beautiful, hey ....

Grab a cuppa, guys ...and rock on!





Sub-entry: “The Time-Traveler’s Wife”

It’s dark now and I am very tired.
I love you, always.
Time is nothing.


― Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler's Wife
My poems come and ask me
After you set us free
You just forget our pain
And act apathetic alien,
When thoughts in you burn
Inside in vortices churn,
It’s us coming out in streams
Relieve your burden of dreams,
But you never enact your life the way
What through us you say,
Delivering us you stand aside,
Turn away to flow with the tide!
The clouds scare me
I forget to sing
life is like a dead tree
I don't see the silver lining!
Worried grows my face
at the smallest darkness
Islands of light I miss
pale and cold is your kiss!
Yet I know it's within me
to rid the phantom and be free
revive the dream and dare
to go beyond the nightmare!
The bird asks me
What I’d do
If I am a bird.
I tell him
High and high I’d soar
So high that I’d see the earth no more
I’d be a bird on the tree
I’d be a bird that’s free!
What you’d do bird
If you’re a man?
To be fair
It’d be my only prayer to God
Don’t be so hard
Make me once again a bird!
Saying this the bird sings
And spreads its wings to a sky
I can never fly!
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