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crimewavves Mar 2014
To some people,
"ending it"
means,
throwing all their belongings out in the street and saying
"I'm done,"
because that's all the world ever said to them.
To some people,
"ending it"
means,
walking out on their partner of 9 months
because they found out about
their lover's affair.
To some people,
"ending it"
means,
taking a handful of pills
because they don't think
they are beautiful to exist under the sun and
listen to 80's music ever again.
To some people,
"ending it"
means,
dropping out of school
to travel across the country
because life is a field trip all by itself.
To some people,
"ending it"
means,
attending multiple therapy sessions
to topple their crippling social anxiety
because they're tired of being
introverted.
To some people,
"ending it"
means,
hitting back.
because they're tired of being abused.
And to the rest of us,
we don't know exactly what "it" is that we're ending.
Because we can only hope that
one door closes and another opens.
I wrote this poem tonight. I wrote it for every single one of my friends who have ever felt like "that" person. This is not the end. I'm always gonna be there to support those who I love, but it kills me when people I care for dearly, succumb to the negative energy in our world. So many suicidal friends and so many people looking for a way out. I wrote this as a reminder that there's a way out, because I used to not see a point to anything and I used to want to "end it". There's a better way no matter what you're thinking about giving up on.
crimewavves Mar 2014
i think you might be the love of my life.
and i don't know what terrifies me more;
the fact that i could be completely right,
or the fact that i've been wrong before.
crimewavves Mar 2014
I still love you even though you dropped out of school
because your taste in music and the way you make everything feel like spring
outweighs any doubts I might have.
I still have a pair of your Hanes in my dresser drawer where I stored
you away for so long as well.
You have the upperhand.
You still have every bit of
emotional pain I've channeled into you over
the past year.
I still stuck by you through the neglect and ignorance, you still loved me
despite all the doors I broke off the hinges.
You saw through
all the anxiety attacks and outrages.
You survived me, you conquered me with love.
They say, it's just a phase,
just a phase.
But I could never walk away.
crimewavves Mar 2014
i literally can't go a day without thinking
"one day i'll have to cross over
to the other side."
i wake up every day and think,
one day this little bundle of consciousness
will one day be a skeleton
and i am terrified. i am terrified.
i feel my heart slow down
down.
and my breathing slows...
i understand it so well,
pretty easy to tell by the way i can see a glimpse of eternity when i open my mind's eye.
i hope i can dull my mind from thinking about
going to the other side.
crimewavves Mar 2014
I couldn't wrap my open head
around all the crooked things you said,
it never failed to impress me
how I could dress myself out of depression
and we passed the days holding up white flags.
your face was a map of the world,
and they wanted to throw you away like the days we carelessly tossed to the wind
along with our hope,
and this is a tightrope
so I'm asking you to walk with me.
you don't understand my fear of heights,
or why I call your heart my home.
just like I don't understand why you stay home Friday nights, watching Seinfeld alone.
you were a lesson to be learned,
a bridge to be burned.
A force not to be reckoned with but God knows I tried despite the danger.
Love was nothing more than a gentle peck from a kind and curious stranger.
crimewavves Mar 2014
it haunts me still
how your playing lips
never said my name
crimewavves Mar 2014
you found my feet with yours at the edge of the bed and
your mother walked in to find me holding her son like a woman holds her lover
and as I write this with my right hand you're snoring in your sleep with my left hand engulfed in your fist
you buried your whispers in my ear like the waves churning in the sea from a conch shell
you picked up pieces of me i didn't know were broken and replaced the cuts on my wrists with ones on my feet from walking railroad tracks without shoes on.
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