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Claire Ellen Jul 2019
She asked me, Who are you?
I responded, What do you mean?
My headed and thoughts thickened and clouded over;
Who am I?
Have I lost touch of all the wonderful blocks that build me
    to me?
Have I lost the emotions and roots that created me
    to be me?
I know I have found her before,
once or  twice when alone and happy and free,
but now I've morphed into, just me.
Then I think, all these things I think are me,
are they me?
Or are they what others see in me?
Have I morphed into a "What you see me"?
People say I am warm and bright,
but all I can ask is who are you?
Are you changing? Are you sliding by?
Who do you want to be vs. who were you?
I'm Claire.
I'm unfiltered,
I'm easy going,
I'm nervous but adventurous,
I'm authentic and open with everyone,
When I love you, I LOVE you
    and when I hate you, I just don't care about you anymore.
I'm so open I hurt deeply,
I'm selfish
   but I think everyone should be in some ways.
I always see another side,
I'm dramatic but I shy from frienship and relationship drama
I don't belong to one mold, I'm always changing and shifting
I'm an imaginer and not much of a do-er,
I'm a listener,
God respecter.
I find it funny, my whole life my parents said,
"You're unique", but never said why or how to use this "uniqueness".
I just grew up thinking, "I'm unique" but I still don't know why.
I'm pretty much like everyone else I think,
I feel, I love, I see, I react.
I change so much in a day its hard to focus on who I'm being in one moment.
I don't know who I am,
I really don't even know who I want to be,
I just want to be better than I am now.
Claire Ellen May 2017
Wild. Our love is wild at heart.
Your passion inspires my happiness,
and my happiness seeks to find you.
Your adventurous spirit guides my wild soul into an oblivion we call our own.
You found me while I was unprepared and unready;
soon to find that you would prepare me to be ready for sparking moments.
I fell into you needing to be caught;
soon to find you swept me off my feet.
Our love is completely indescribable to some,
but to others, like the ones here today, they know.
They can see the love that shines from my eyes and comes from your heart.
They can sense an area of untouched happiness that both of us explore more with each other.
We will hold and we will cherish;
but we will also live fully letting the other grow and become better.
You light the fire under my wild soul, so I can fan the flame of your adventurous spirit,
and we fall into the grasp of each others waiting and ready-for-anything- arms.
Wild. Your love is wild at heart.
Her passion inspires his happiness,
and his happiness seeks to find her.
His adventurous spirit guides her wild soul into an oblivion they can call home.
He found her unprepared and unready;
soon to find that he was preparing her to be ready for sparking moments.
She fell into him needing to be caught;
soon to find she was swept off her feet.
Your love is completely indescribable to some,
but to other, like the ones here today, we know.
We can see the love that shines from her eyes and into his heart.
We can sense an area of untouched happiness that both of them explore together.
They will hold and they will cherish;
but they also love fully letting the other grow and become better.
As he lights the fire under her wild soul, she can fan the flame of his adventurous spirit,
they can freely fall into the grasp of each others waiting and ready-for-anything- arms.
Claire Ellen May 2017
We loved.
We loved getting new barbies, and new guns.
We loved new toys and the thought of growing older.
We loved the outdoors, exploring and imagining.
We grew older and lost touch with that old tender love.
Then we found each other.
At that moment we found we loved each other.
We loved each other in the wild.
We loved seeing each other's hearts catch fire with passion.
We loved to explore things we didn't know we loved.
We loved each other.
Now we've grown to a new love.
A love the bible calls "unconventional"
A love that poets call "unwavering"
A love I once asked God to bring me too,
And a love you were searching for when you found me.
We take a step towards this love,
fully and head on.
Because our love will be better.
Our love will carry on, and never end;
We will pass it on to strangers and to our family.
We have a special love that only some can find.
A love I call, you call and we all call wild and free.
Claire Ellen Mar 2017
All that has come from my body,
all that this body has made,
is waste.
It makes look and tissue that sluf off.
It makes **** thats pushed out,
and it makes *** thats squeezed out.
On the occasional night of to much drinking,
maybe ***** that is forced from the stomach.
This body has had no accomplishments,
no miracles.
This body was created to create,
but has not yet found its purpose.
Claire Ellen Mar 2017
My body is warmed from the shower,
everything is clean, my outside looks normal.
But as the water soaks into my skin
every droplet like an old memory
drying me up.
My insides are hurting
they are sagging and depressed.
"I want to be a mother," I whisper in my deepest being.
"I'm not even trying." my surface level responds.
"What if I can't?", my soul and heart cry in unison.
Claire Ellen Mar 2017
Everytim I think of touching your skin,
My body lets out a little peep.
Its nothing more than a sound of wanting
a touch not finding.
Your very skin keeps me lying awake at night...
just thinking.
But whats different is I'm not tossing and turning from stress,
I'm cool and good with our crazy future.
Who knows what will happen and when
I want to explore the unpredicted wild of life with you
and the touch of your skin.
Claire Ellen Mar 2017
A year of "to-do" lists,
writing themselves out in my mind.
"I'm not crazy," I repeat to myself,
"Just prepared."
But I wasn't prepared to break up,
I want prepared to go on a life changing mission.
Not ready to meet the love of my life.
My to-do list didn't say, "Don't get accepted to school"
To-do list help day to day life,
They don't improve 20/20 future vision.
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