Grit on the asphalt makes my tires come ablaze
Hitting the century mark as a siren's wail lights up the sky in front of me
I've passed everywhere but nowhere, seen the place where Holly Wood died
On a mission to go anywhere to get anywhere, I'm going the distance tonight
The roar of the engine makes my soul cringe with heartfelt adrenal anticipation
And the wind becomes visible as my senses flood together
I've got Black Sunshine in my rear view and the zero-zero miasma
Dragging at my heels as I push eighty-five/ninety down interstate ninety itself
The competition moves from my way. Is it courtesy or for their own health?
The sea of headlights behind me allows me to go stealth
The clock is my enemy, my only friend
This elixir is sour, but serves to defend my sanity
Smurphett screams around the corner, one hundred-forty miles to go
Cars traveling my path, on the side of the road, bodies crushed like tin
Racing death, racing hell, forsaking safety
Racing midnight towards dawn, just to see who wins.

My father never told me
To "just be myself"
To "search first for my wealth"
To  "seek ye first the Kingdom
Or quench the fires in hell"

Just one thing instilled in these,
My randomly pulsating crevasses
The sacks now in my chest,
The ever-beating evidence,
With everything I feel
And everything I believe in
Regardless the time or season,
Or the countless cries and pleas for remorse:
That I would know the course

Stay ahead

But now I see within me
I'm breeding with pride and envy
And the sickness is a symptom
Of what makes me feel empty

I'm tired of situations
Calling for analyzation
And heartfelt anticipation
Of other standing ovations
For the things I see are breaking

In here

I'm caged by the guilt I have laid
At the feet of the people I've played
And those I've used as supports
(They caught their heart in the door)
Unaware of what's in store for them

They couldn't see into my eyes,
The disguise through which I try
To hide all my ghosts and why's
And all the things kept inside in order to

Stay ahead

The needy, greedy child with eyes for the spotlight
With emotions bigger, even, than his head
And the same mud blood, barely red
Just like his father's
Who's always "just fine" and says "don't even bother"
Because "today, everything is going my way."

Most often I slip into dreaming a reality
Surrounded with absurdity
And abstract absolution and functionality.
A world filmed in silence,
Where the black and white future reminiscence
Of untold horrific and haunting hand holdings
Are my only bane.
Where I can look into a pair of gleaming eyes
And find with every tic a surprise
That makes my unsettled heart arise
Without any sort of promiscuity or lustful
Over glazing on the perfect soufflé
And then with not even a hug given as a subtle warning
No forerunner to an upcoming silence and mourning.
Morning. Open eyes and wide lids. And forming
In the crevice of the mass, a single droplet
That rains readily into a queer laughter
As satisfaction slyly slips back into the fade

It’s a dream to keep the silence close
With those that, to me, mean the most
Looking longingly and knowingly with only tones
Of bare skin and cloth separating the souls,
The heart, and the passion

Once again, it’s the end
And it comes to an end
And the moments die
And you wake up
To an apocalyptic goodbye

I just want to feel my hand on the shaft
Pushing and pulling, making my craft
Where fantasies, wonders and pleasures become
The basis for a mischievous mental mind graft

Where pleasure meets pain like abs against rock
Sweat glistens down my brow as I glance at the clock
Couldn't clean all this filth with a bucket and mop
I play with my hair while stroking my ego

Gotta get it done quick or the whole thing's a bust
Gotta take enough time, satisfaction's a must
Don't care the sensation of feathers or wood
Gotta push and pull quick to work out the rust

I'll spend this whole night heavy in breathing
Because it feels so good. I'm never leaving
Don't be confused if this text is deceiving
I'm just writing some new rhymes to "Don't Stop Believing"

Old woman, what is it like
To decay before you die,
Trapped between two stainless steel bars?
I think I know the feeling.
Waiting patiently on the street-side corner
With a crone's misery on your face
To be picked up in the cold
And be taken, inevitably,
To the morgue

Let’s do something stupid, but just once or twice
If you make the memory then I’ll pay the price
Like free falling from bridges through the crisp air
Like shadows and mirrors I’ll always be there.

Let’s do something stupid, but just once or twice
If you take the pleasure I’ll take the vice
Like word stalling in obscure areas under soft lights
Like tossing and turning, big spoon, little spoon at night

Let’s do something stupid, but just once or twice
If we break things together, if we roll the dice
When things go bad you know there is a stain
But the things that we’ve done will be worth the pain

Let’s do something stupid, but just once or twice
Because we wake and both know the devil makes thrice
Let’s run amok, let’s head-bang, let’s party
Let’s make a night to ourselves before things get ******

Let’s do something stupid, but just once or twice
Let’s do anything, anywhere, let’s throw in some spice
Let’s be foolish and daring and careless and free
Whatever we do is all right with me
Do everything everywhere, let it be loud
But let’s do it together, let’s do it right now.

i am completely destroyed
by your love
that brings me to my knees
crying from the shock
of brilliant light bleaching my vision
with the means
at any expense
my world would be yours

and it is

do you know the way you move me
like a steady wind rippling a sail
like shallow waves
how every time your around
my face softens
and my lungs breath easy
in
and out the sweetest scents
and my heart is cupped by your hands
and held before me
its wires and chords running
swiftly to all my body

do you realize what goes on behind my eyes
or how consistently stumble over myself as you watch
have you realized that i would that you had
the superior quality
the very best
and i will make it so

the town air is still more insipid than I remember
the decaying laid to rest in ranch homes and townhouses
and more recently underground

the cold, dry and tasteless, leeches life from the bones
for the slowing heart of these abandoned streets

where families, unaware, come to their slaughter
cloven by the allure of death
hanging in the wind

the husks of the trapped wander
and masquerade the bar stool seats
of have-nots, should-have-beens, and glory days of yesteryear

and all i can do is shake the black powder from my shoes
for this stop on my travels
this shadow of a city
i've no reason to return

We were in the dark
Standing, the grey blue
Pouring out of the box
While the world slept
Deeply, unaware of our revelation

We hid it, in our own way
Staring eye to eye
With steadfast affections
And quivering spines
Racing minds
Bringing our once divided lines
Together

Seeing each other
Underneath and around
Above and inside our forethought
Our defenses paper thin and falling
I tried to mouth the only words that might bear the weight of my meaning
And I saw it in you too
“What? Wonderful, wow, whoa, why?”
And then
“Why not?”
As you bent, silently, from the hip
And fell into an embrace
And our fumbling hands wrapped
Our fumbling words met

There is a hairs breadth between agony
And serenity. You must dance the fence
Like jumping wildly over a broad flame
And play the line between torment, torrent,
Or truth. There is no room for error here.
You must caress the demon in your mind
And sooth him, and feed him, and care for him
For this is the key to finding freedom

You must bottle your hurt and keep it safe
Affixing a sure gaze on the hour
Watching for changes, studying each bit
Of its black, grey, green, red pulsating form
So that if it breaks loose, you may find it
So that if it attacks, you may retreat
And retreat, you will, to your teary crypt
You must caress the demon in your mind

You must stitch it to your being, intentionally
Pushing the needle each time more deeply
And pull the wailing fabric through the mass.
Your body must convulse, leak; naturally
From time to time returning to this start
It is imperative that you are ready
In your heart as it beats double bass line
So that if it attacks, you may retreat

The line between paradise of your mind
May be found within each of your sorrows.
In what you remember or learn from them
And from the beauty of experience
Worthy, fully, of valuable heartache.
You must accept this, it is inevitable.
Assimilate your minds fictitious factions,
It is imperative that you are ready.

You must caress the demon in your mind
So that if it attacks, you may retreat
It is imperative that you are ready
For this is the key to finding freedom
There is a hairs breadth between agony
And serenity
You must dance the fence

Come to me
O Spirit
Come to me On High
For in me Faith is waning
And I feel like I could die

Give me strength
To console my mind
From trespasses committed
For doing things the things I condemn
And You’ve already acquitted

Come to me
O Spirit
Come to me On High
That I may not be a hypocrite
So I may not live a lie

Help me now to give all
The Grace You give to me
Break me down to know You well
Remove from me this pride
Bring love into  this shell

For if distaste  should sit
In the same mouth as Your Name
Then I should reap the benefits
Of my shallow game

Take all that I own
The children of my thoughts
Severed from completion

Haunt me with your zombie right
You, walking dead, making
Hellish nightmare of my pride

Have the arms that bear my burden
And the ligaments that establish your being
And dial the number that numbs me mad

I have brought you upon myself, shackle  of decaying flesh

And to sate my blood-lust
I ill take this hurt mass
And rip it from my flesh
In rose petal patterns
I will remove the excess limbs
Holding onto the past
And cleaver my ambitions for everything left

And in the mass of my meat and muscle
And the weight of every drop of blood I've bled
I will form a Lazarus start
Through the halls of beautiful dismemberment
Through the multitude of converging paths

I forge a new way
I forge my own way


(It is a strange night that the wind does not make a sound)

I long for the day to come when I might see
Fields of ivory sprayed with crimson love
The Heart pumping, from above, a new light

Come to see this day with me
When all the world shall joyous sing
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, risen ‘gain the murdered King

Follow me into this place, the inner sanctum
The place hidden from the world
And rejoice, the blood was spilt, the story nears its end

Come and hear the sound with me
A thousand newly silenced screams
And all the world in disarray, shall gather silent
Praise His name

How will it look when Glory falls
From Heaven to Earth and in perfect grace
And all the world shall fall to their knees?

Come and share this hope with me
When the King shall with His people be
And all the world and the righteous sing
Praise His name

It was raining

I saw six cents

Sitting atop a post

Wondered, who left this here for me?

Put my hand on them, whisked away the water

And left them where they lay

Dearly departed, we are gathered here today
To gaze in quiet wonder at the beauty of the grave
To remark in awe and gander at the body that here lies
And to spy the stiffened cheekbones beneath her sunken eyes
How pretty can a smile be when placed upon her corpse
While the fruit she has brought us leaks at life's divorce

But the truth is not a tragedy that we have underwent
And timing is imperfect, but in our breast is evident
So let us gather here to celebrate the Joyus Chorus' call
Let's join our hands to embrace the death of one and all

I like to snort coke
The feel of carbonation
As it's in my nose.

The softest beach of sunburnt sand
Comes flush with waves of turquoise warmth
At the tips of my hand

A fresh breath of air puffs my skin
Feisty coconut and cucumber scents
Fight in the influence of the wind

Pushing backward with a quickening allure
At arm’s length the beauty bows
Breaking each edge, the whitening pure

With a subtle pull each wave hits shore
Then water ebbs its playful game
Returning again for a little more

In a way serene, my defenses lay bare
Staring Life face to face, with tactile reassurance
I grasp for strands of ocean hair

I still remember the moment you let go
Wearing my navy, Notre dame gold encrusted sweater

I remember how your eyes glistened and glazed over
The hazel jewels covered in a breath of dust
As you clutched up for someone to save you
To save us

And I stood there silently quaking
Unaware of the rivers flowing behind your melancholy cheeks
That poured out from your eyes and your mind, your heart and your breast
And spilled all over the sanctuary floor, abandoned

How you clutched my angst splattered teen t-shirt
How you concealed your suffering subtly in the crest of my shoulder
How I was so thankful for your strength
And the open hole that held our hearts in that moment

Sealed in the next
After one last embrace as one
And the bones broke as they were slammed against the pestle
As we separated and molted, given new skin
And put on the same monochromatic, dull eyed smile
Just as the day we met

And our hearts hurt, our lives reformed
Our paths split
Our eyes cold
And we were *fine.

I give up the ghost to new surrender
Give in to the last dying ember
And let the flames exquisite burn
And on every living creature turn
Let the serpent, heated, grow
Let it feast and reap and sow
And watch it eat up every soul
And watch it break down every home
I give up the ghost to new surrender
I give in to the last dying ember
And watch it char to quench its thirst
And watch the world turn to its worst
To see the sphere conflagrant nigh
To let the fuel of fire fry
Is to see the tide of battle turn
To watch flames die as they burn

I've never had a brother
No blood of my blood, no seed of my mother
But if bonds forged in steel
And tempered with heat
Can sing the same song
When hammered upon

This chain link camaraderie
Would shriek:

I've never had a brother,
Or name of my name
But my heart, always open, might quake the same

A man such as you,
Who plays with fire, but has  never once burned
Who stands up a new man while everyone turns

Your character speaks the music
That is the background to your steps
You don't need lyrics
To speak with your hands

You are free will
You aren't a *******
You are who you're meant to be
Here .
Now.
You're a son of a mother
My BFL brother
Yippee-Kye-yay (Merry Christmas) *******

ǝsınbsıp-ɟןǝs uʍo ʎɯ ʇsoן ı uǝɥʍ
ʎןɟ oʇ uɹɐǝן ı pıp ʎןʞɔınb puɐ
ʇǝǝɟ ʎɯ ʇobɹoɟ ı 'ʇɥbıu buıǝq
ʇǝǝɹʇs ʎʇdɯǝ uɐ uo ǝuoןɐ pǝɔuɐp ı

ɹǝʇʇǝq sıɥʇ ǝʞɐɯ oʇ ǝɹısǝp ɐ ǝɯɐɔ
sɹǝʇʇǝן puɐ sǝʞoɹʇs ǝɥʇ ɟo ןןɐ ɥbnoɹɥʇ
ɯɹoɟ oʇ uıbǝq ןnos ʎɯ ʍɐs ı puɐ
pǝɯɹoʇs sʇǝןǝʇɐןd ǝɥʇ ǝɔuǝןıs ןnɟʇɥbnoɥʇ uı

pɐǝʇsuı ʎןɟ sʍoquıɐɹ ʍɐs ı ʇnq
pǝɹ pǝןq pooןq ǝɥʇ ɥbnoɹɥʇ puɐ ssoɹɔɐ
ǝbɐɔ ǝɥʇ ɯoɹɟ ɟןǝsʎɯ pǝsɐǝןǝɹ puɐ
ǝbɐd ǝɥʇ uo ʇno ʇɹɐǝɥ ʎɯ ʇnd ı

ǝɔɐןd ǝןzznd sʇı uı ʇı ʞɔnʇs puɐ
ǝɔɐɟ sʇı uo ʇı pǝddıןɟ ı uǝɥʇ
uʍoɹɔ oʇ ǝoʇ 'ןǝǝɥ oʇ pɐǝɥ
uʍop ǝpısdn ɯǝod ɐ ǝʇoɹʍ ı

“And the moments die
And you wake up”

And the moments die
And you wake up

The moments die
You wake up



Moments die
Wake up
Falling, ever readily into the mind’s eye
With only desperate hope in the soul
To cling, with all each fiber of the innermost of your being

Why is it that we must struggle so hard
To keep in your eyes the things that we know?
The notions gathered through careful study
Why, I ask, does good have to fade, like day
Back into night, with each waking?

Why must reality betray the truth?

Fixate on the feeling… obsess its contours…
I know the way we ought to be
I know the way things ought to go
I know the truth
So why can’t I love you?

I've tasted the chalice of malice,
And drank from the cup of deceit.
I know dictive hate
Will lead to my fate,
But sarcasm's still such a treat.

Constrain me
Lock me away
To save me

In your mind
Or closet
Or under your bed

Packed
To find me
When you shake
When you scream

Store me
And forget me
So when you expect me least

There I will be.
Carnivorously.

Holding you down

Your flesh between my jaws
Seething
Breathing
Through teeth

my poetry’s gotten darker
my heart harder
my eyes colder
my hands callus

my years have grown shorter
and my mind bolder
but all for the sake of weeping
the gnashing of teeth on a rock
and the bashing of my head on yours
again and again

i must have fallen on bad times, i’m writing again
this feeling in my gut tells me so
i’m feeling poetic, like before
i can only pray for what’s in store for me
i can only guess it’s bad

that feeling, like you know your body’s breaking
you can’t stop your aching heart
you’re being torn apart by each ligament
and all you can do is leak

my poems feel numb again
my heart bleeds blue
and somehow I feel I’m different
my poems don’t shine
they’re dull and dead
and filled with spite
and that frightens the **** out of me

I got you seeds to celebrate
What had taken root today
And like an annual, with this I say
I’ll plant it all again

I got you seeds to represent
How we’ve weaved our spines
And bent— towards one another
To grow together, slowly as we went

How our round-up ready
Slow and steady
Romance sprouts its head
Giving new life with the price
Of growing on the dead

I got you seeds instead of flowers
(With the hope of daily showers
Falling on our head)
So that you can watch us come alive
And after a year’s time we thrive
And I promise you, should we survive,
This time next year, I’ll plant it all again.

For flowers last a week, maybe,
And in all their splendorous glory
You only get to watch them die
So slowly, it may be.

But I say we are more than that
So, with this, I tip my hat
And tell you like an English chap
“Have a jolly good day”
Because with a love like this
And promise like that
And the One we both believe in

Why the hell not?

To what is my gaze affixed this time
The slowly rotting fruit of eye
A man lay prone upon the floor
Writhes in pain consumed in lore
With every inch he sows the stitch
A futile race to cure the itch
An infestation underneath
Of a million little squirming teeth
His conscious lost, the dark he drinks
A heavy black, to his pit it sinks

As tumors form upon his ***
And shock runs through a cattle ****
They weigh him down, tie to the floor
And loose his error from every pore
And on every tile the liquid ran
For every length and every span
And one could see there in his eye
A thousand holy hopes had died
And if ever this just a sordid dream
I’ll never forget their thousand screams

Such it was as I looked into
This gate of soul and bid adieu
And from the plane I looked away
From the blur of silver gray
And as I turned toward the world
The image caught, never swirled
And every moment I do wake
Of this vision I do take
And every moment that I think
Of this liquid I do drink

There’s nothing left where this iron man once stood
At one time beasts roamed the body that’s breaking
Firefights and lacerations fed monsters
Circumstances unavoidable had known it would

Jasper always fought for what he thought should
Be wrestled for. The bruises and bullets.
His thoughts went somewhere one time but it seems
There’s nothing left where this iron man once stood

Liberty spikes, leather coats did what they could
But they couldn’t protect the Wilde man’s mind
The thousand foot stare is setting in now
Circumstances unavoidable had known it would

There’s nothing left where this iron man once stood
The Man broke the punk, Jasper Wilde gave up
Circumstances unavoidable had known he would

Good morning, fly dove
The darkness fled fast
As I held you
Over the whole night

Don't lose your sight, dove
Affix your gaze
And it will mold you
He will fold you
Over a cold fire

Fly dove, fly
Fly to save your life
Fly, love, fly
Fight on through the strife

Tonight, love, goodnight
When all your world is quiet
We'll hide the candle light
My wings are open wide
For all of you tonight

{Canary can you tell me,
What has broken your leg?

Why do you squander here
Your black feathers over my eyes
And your beak in my back?

Can you tell me what has silenced you?}

A deathly screeching was heard that night
Pop
Pop
Sirens call me closer.
Staring into the eyes I see in the canary
Its chest opened wide
Its legs like screws twisted
And the rain drenched the body.

{Tell me raven, is my death for told?
Why do you pluck out my eyes
And guide my hand?

Where are you prepared to take me?
Why does your song beguile me so?}

A deathly silence was heard that night
Step
Step
Precipitation like fire crackles around
Perhaps we shall stay here
The air is full
We can taste the ocean

I cannot move, for you have taken my sight
Tonight, stay here, share in my strife

Oh raven, stay close to me
Oh, if I fail, you feast in the morning

Pulled as tight as the netted stars
Contentment is the only thing I hear
Wind roaring through my hair

There must be something I've forgotten
Some forgone prologue to this ebony cheer

This bowel of awkward just spills from my mouth
As if I could dry heave the perfect soliloquy,
Cite the succinct sonnet

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen"
"My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun"

It feels so good to feel uncomfortable again
To fumble over missed turn signals
It's been too long
Since I've calmed my  nerves
With a clove cigar,  a pen
And the cool grey of the night

You keep me up at night
With your "I don't care," unaware stare
and the words thrown at me
To the wall
Now broken ceramic pieces
On the floor

These nightmares you have, you hold in your heart,
The times now long past,
Will tear you apart
When all that you hold, down deep in your soul,
Are feelings you have of things that you know

Scarlett laced liquid runs through each bone
To the twitch of the eyes that turn you to stone
With every breath exhaled
Your heart beats the eulogy
And the tempo is slowed

The creatures fear as you lay in your bed
Are the firstborn of fright you hold in your head
By manifest loathing in the things that you’ve seen
In things that are done and places you’ve been

The tears down your eyes are like chills down your spine
In the sadness that’s shown and fear in its kind

The look in your ocean-sprayed eye betrays your still hands
And relay the soft meaning your lips could demand

a pale night

two more estranged
in the passing of time forgotten
promises mistimed

and eternity can end in an instant
a sudden death to tumors long malignant
(let us remember the error of our ways,
the taste of blood when suckling an open wound)

it's new nihility embodied
and shortness of breath
when looking at night's pearl eye

drown out in stillness
double-time, my heart
frantic, my lungs

so beautiful and toxic
our morning flower dies

Here, have these broken,
Savage, implicitly unique
Pieces of my soul

I will not write you into poetry,
because you are worth more than these few lines deserve.
More than my metaphors could muster.
Beyond my simile.

I will not inscribe your name on my arm,
nor place you as a seal to my heart
lest my gestures be rendered meaningless.

Instead, I will trace my dreams
in circlets around your head.
I will draw upon the back of your hand
my good fortunes and pleasure.

I will seal each moment
                with the softness of your skin
and lay my anchor between the tips of your fingers.

I will mouth non-sense syllables,
and laugh out of turn.

All, in turn, just to see you smile.

Because in a world where everything seems fleeting,

this moment is forever.

[An Echo]
I dream of a day when we are immersed in light
From head to toe no darkness will surround us
And the shadow will be sent home.


{Emptiness.}

Every time we stumble, fall on our face
There is a shadow staring back at us
But it is only in the lighted space

It strives wildly to keep apace
It freely pierces the inclined ear
Every time we stumble, fall on our face

When you fall in the dark there’s no chase
You may feel qualmish, the night knows your hubris
But numbness is only in the lighted space

A failed soul isn’t worth their own case
But if we make battle, there’s chance with “Trust”
Every time we stumble, fall on our face

Each time we sink in with quickening pace
We must lift ourselves out, scrape off the rust
Because failure's in the lighted spaces

Take solace in this as you run your race
Think you are disheartened, face down in blackness?
Every time you’ll stumble, fall on your face
But death is only in the lighted space

If you’re still in torment, keep going through hell.
You must be doing something right.




[The sound returns]
I dream of a day when we are immersed in light
From head to toe no darkness will surround us
And the shadow will be sent home.

I’ve died once before
With what I held high
A thorn in my eye
A blade to be sick
In my gut
Screaming red
In the urge to cure the itch

In a sift to split these words
I shift the congealing chords
And crack these splitting sounds
In the arid sands aloud
With the winds of hollow change

In the dust of forgone oases
I have sunk my foot
And it has hardened
In a deadly game
(Play sing song, fool)
I have taken root

I’ll count the hours to the death of this
In breathing the silence and fading grit
Watching the wildlife here

The snake burrows into his hole
His venom corrosive
To choke on his prey

Vultures pick at lifeless cages
Splitting the bone
Plucking the eye



[To the first: admit I’ll stick with this
Second in the fading kiss
Third to take it by the wrist
With the sun at high, I’ll give the gist]

Fourth will come the breaking words
Then when villainous silence sure
In constricting we find the cure

I’ll grab it truly by the throat

And sink my digits into the goad
And pull it ****** from the mouth
And throw it kindly to the ground

[I’ll burn the angel’s wings alive
With desperate pleas and angry cries
A shout to God for all it’s worth
With all that I’ve left on earth]

And bring her speeding to the ground
To find a hopeless, dying, manic sound
I’ll find my Prise and make her mine
To bring a close, a new affliction
To close the wounds of this addiction

Me, myself, I
The car, road, and open sky. Bliss.