At least it was springtime
I whisper to myself as he eases into the unknown
Such a strong man, a quiet man
My grandfather no longer suffering
Another gentle soul these hands have helped
Continue on this journey of "being"
No longer human
Scattered amongst the in between
You are loved
You will be missed
Rest in Peace
Rose petals like love letters crinkle around well loved edges
The sweet scent of their memory still saturates my senses
I miss you more than I could ever articulate
Each nerve ending longs for just a whisper, a touch
Occasionally I stumble across old recordings of your beautiful voice
Now only in dreams do I witness
Soft movements, tender touches
Waking with aches and pains that only you could ease
A well painted visage fits perfectly over the sadness
Aglow with sunlight and smile veneer seals solid with coarse tears
I keep hidden what I cannot hide
i've known the boys like him, the boys
with the gentle eyelashes and the
lip petals and spikes.
he touches my hair, twirls it in his fingers.
i am always nothing more to them.
i want to be earthquakes and avalanches,
yet i fold, becoming the beers in their guts, the ash
on their tongues.
but the way his tongue finds my pelvic bones,
how his calluses kiss my bruises.
his scent echoes inside my pillows,
denial like vomit bordering my throat thick.
the boys want my skin, to flay and wear it.
i am a prize, shiny and golden,
and he is licking my insides, my blood and guts.
on his mouth, dripping down his chest.
i see how he stares at others,
calculating and timing,
but in the end i am the one, bent over, the one he says he loves.
and i wonder if this will always be this.
nights tasting like cider and cum,
knees scabbed and bleeding and scabbed and
he never touches me outside the bedroom, his
fingers glued to the bike handles.
i want to cut him open and see what's really inside.
I am thirsty
Calm waters, bubbles galore
Sip it slow
Picking raspberries in late June
Warm juices running along sucked fingertips
On the cusp of homemade wine season
I cannot get enough
Stained mouth hungry for more
Along my lip's edges I can taste your smile
Sunshine light with a hint of bright
I want to drink with you
Share with you
Get loose and fuzzy
Ready to fill your cup with more
Swinging away in breezy hammocks
Drunk on each other
Drunk on summer
We grew up strong in sunlight
Our Mother, earthen goddess, shown like dawn in springtime
Wild flowers basking in her warmth
I have never felt such love
Through the hardest of times
The finest of lines
She loved us without judgement
As age progressed and we distressed
Only fine wine could compare her
We are blessed to know such beauty
I am the woman I am today because of you