What did I do wrong
A year later and I don't know
I took time and I moved on
Why was now the time that you chose

To confront me with words like a knife
Cutting deep, sinking through my whole life
When I thought I was done, I was fine
I'm proved wrong, but I know you aren't trying

I don't feel anything for you anymore
That parts over, I've been done for some time
I'm happy, I don't need you, so why does it matter
If you reach out or stay silent

I shouldn't care, it shouldn't hurt
You put up walls and left me here
I shouldn't care, it's absurd
But it's cold and lonely on the other side here

It's been a year, I've moved on to a new life
I made new friends, memories, and habits

Before you I never had these thoughts
That I wasn't good enough or somehow flawed.
I never wondered, I had all the answers,
I knew every piece would help make the puzzle.
But now there's six long months unaccounted for,
Leaving so many questions you wouldn't answer.
What went wrong? Where was I? ...and why?

the moment when everything changes
looking back, you wonder how you were so unsuspecting
how everything could seem so perfect
no red flags were raised, no chance for you to surrender
before the mess and the carnage
suddenly alone, you blame yourself
making lists of what you could have done
how you could have changed the outcome
your mind never at rest
racing thoughts
a pounding heart
constant pain

Desperately kicking
Trying to stay afloat
It went from calm, still waters
To thundering white caps
Within a matter of seconds
The pain was dull, serene
Hiding behind ripples and bubbles
But now it’s pounding
Tearing apart flesh and bones
What I wouldn’t give to go back
To the easy, gentle flow
Rocking slowly with a smile
Please just take me back

cut and paste
tear and mend
dye and die again

try to fix it
do your best
or else you'll never rest

He smiles at me,
eyes full of love and care.
"It will be worth it,
I promise."

This record is stuck,
the needle struggling to go forward.
But it can't, it keeps jumping
and repeating itself over and over.

He looks at me,
cold breath hanging in the air.
"Just put your bag down,
come here."