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there is nothing better than falling asleep thinking of you!!!!
I think of you none stop
The sun rises and falls and my thoughts about you never change
I can sit in my little tower
I think of you
riding on your little white horse
but when I wake I find that...
its just a fairy tail

but when you leave
and I don't hear from you
the world stops
the moon hides and the sun don't rise
the birds sleep
the insects wont buzz
the air grows cold
the earth becomes still and quiet
my eyes close
the trees wont bloom and the
flowers begin to wild

then in the distance I can hear trotting
I have just enough strength
I shove my head up
and I can see you in the distance
you in your white horse...
and my heart becomes warm again

there are fairy tails..
but some have moments where they could be real
because with you I could dream forever
our minds become a battle field
constant trail and error
we think about what could
what should
and what would we have done

we allow our mind to rule our emotions
we think that this
so we do that
we want that so we go
and do this

the mind is manipulative
sometimes we want to know
what others are thinking
but we know we never will

it is the mouth that spits our rage
spits bullets
it wounds others that are around us
because we don't stop to think
what is the consequence

and our arms that show
and cause others to feel hurt
we hurt others by hitting
fighting

I have a question....
                            what has our world come to???
its stunning
there is no way
you just cant take your eyes off of it
its so hypnotizing

mesmerizing
makes your eyes ******
it is so lovely
why cant you
realize that everyone has these traits
and we are not looking at physical
we are talking about physical features
i am talking about what is on the inside
The actions are there
though the feeling is not
you say it but i don't believe it
you look and act a certain way
you may be able to fool all the others
But not me
you want it
you chase it or leave me out of it
The one that which he came from,
If you know to walk away,
And if you can say no,
Don’t show your woe,
After you go and play that game.
Though after,
It is possible that you won’t be tamed.

If you reject,
And stay away from elevators,
Focus on your prefixed behaviors,
You are the one to blame,
You knew that he could not be tamed.
You all fell for the same,
Look into your frame,

Don’t try to be the justification,
No one ever wins to him.

So if the devil shall ask me to dance,
I reject,
I will throw up my wall to protect my self,
I have been there and back,
I have been through the dark.
Through the black,
I have been tacked to problems,
I have tumbled,
Now I can hear the angry rumbles,
Because I knew how to say no,

So if the devil asks you to dance,
Say never,
Because the dance with the devil lasts you forever!
TODAY
      I failed
           TOMORROW
                      I will do better
                               but YESTERDAY
                                          I tried
very day i get up
do my daily routine
but things do not change
but i chose to move forward
you choose to stay back
i want better
you don't want change
i want education
you want to be a drug addict
you have inhabited the ways of a child
for that is how you act
there is so much that i hope changes
but i cant tell you anything
you wont listen
so all i can do.... is sit back and pray
to my brother that i want to see off the streets and in a home with my family and to stop being the person h is. he has potential, i have always been there for him and now there is nothing that i can do. things have gotten to the point where they seem almost unbearable
there is that one person...
who loves and forgives
who wont judge you
who looks at you as their beloved

this is the one
who has endless love
there is no doubt

he smiles when he sees you doing well
or even awesome
he wants you to go and make as many friends as you can
so they could know me as I know him
and they see the way that I see

this is the one
who has endless love
there is no doubt
he is the one with endless love
he will be the same yesterday, tomorrow and forevermore
I know your talking about me
I can hear it..
I don't like it
but you do it anyway
you judge
yes I was wrong at times
but who are you to say
..oh she was wrong..

I know what you have done ..
but I never judged you
I never told anyone
and you know that
I did that because you asked
now that I have asked you
you stab me in the back

who are you and why are you doing this
I thought I knew you...
but now
I know I don't

this is why I don't let people in
Stabbing
crunching
Misery
pain
this is what you do
he said that I am special
that I was born for a purpose
that there are things that I am the change
I am a leader
that I am a light
that there are things I should do
to show others that
there are better reasons to live
and have a better life than what we had
show them that there is love
especially friendships
he said  was the one
the chosen one
you look
and you can just feel the burn
you heart beats faster
there is nothing you can do
it feels like something deep with in
is taking total control
you just want to start flailing your arms and break things
but you want to be the bigger person because the other ...
is acting a fool

just turn and walk away
if they strike don't do anything but use your words
appropriate words
I
don't want to do this any more
A
nd I am sick of falling asleep in class
M
ore times I think about doing other things
T
rying to do the best I can
I
want to give up but I cant
R
eally pushing myself day and night
E
verything that I do I feel like it is not enough
D
ealing with what is going on in my life ..im still learning how to deal with it
I leared...
that I cant trust anyone
that I can not believe what you say
but I pretend to

Why would you do what you did
you stole from me
you said you didn't
you lied to me
and yet did it again

I just learned to not trust anyone
not even me
You are..
                                AMAZING  
                       HONEST   KIND   FUN
             OUTGOING  UNDERSTANDING
         MYSTERIOUS  CERIOUS DIFFERENT
UNDEFINABLE  EXTORDINARY MAGNIFICENT
    DELIGHTFUL  WONDERFUL  LOVABLE
                    SWEET  GENTAL  PURE  
                            MOST OF ALL
                               JUST BEING
                                    YOU
There is nothing

But emptiness

So build your fortress

And become the light
You are a everladting poising that is lethal to me
Love
Long lasting,
Over coming,
Vocal,
Enchanted,
That is what every one says it should be,
You show me that you care,
But I can never really tell,
Or is it that you never did??
But then I caught you red handed,
I saw what was really there
I saw that you are a lair
You supposedly wanted to help
You just made things worse
You treat me like a new toy
You play with me and are happy
But only for a small period of time
Then when you don’t want to play any more
You throw me away
Dam! I really can’t believe that I fell for that,
Pretending that you really loved me
I must have stupid written all over my forehead!
things are different when you see eye to eye when the emotions start small and then they begin to growthroughout the day you catch yourself thinking about one person and this person stays on your mind 24 /7 and then you find time for you think about them and find yourself talking about them all the same time
L.
life
O.
  outstanding
V.
  virtu
E.
*everlasting
you are a sparkle in my eye
there is something that is undescribed
what else can I say
you
are
awesome
You lurk everywhere
I see you in the shadows
you manipulate this earth
you make it dark
you make the kids have dreams

you scare those who mind their own
you chase away the light
you bring clouds
you bring the night fall
the thought of the unknown

we jump every time
even if we hear ourselves breath

but I have power over you
so there for I declare war
I will fight you till death
and I will see light break this

but I don't declare this war alone
I have sisters and brothers
there are thousands of them
and we will stand together

when you decide you are going to attack one
we will all stand against you
you will be cast back to where you belong
I will know the difference
when you knock on my door
I will not answer
for you are not worth my time
Skin to skin

Breath to breath

Body to body

The only drug

That steals my breath

Your my addiction
..........................................you....................­..................................
                              ­            are
                                         every
                                         thing
                                         that
     I need in my life, you came to make me better.
     and that is what you have done for me and it
                                          is m-
                                         ore t-
                                         han I
                                         coul
                                         d ask
                                         for I
                                        don't
                  ­                      deser
                                     ­   ve yo
                                        u my
                                        fahter
Words are painful

But they mean nothing

              Your a actions are deathly
      
                But they are unseen

Tell me again

One more time

   Your going to change
There with in
my emotions like waves
calm and sweet
you looked at me
then you leaned in and kissed me
you said I love you
crashing the storm builds inside
clouds in the iris
rain pouring from eyelids
storm raging inside
chest heavy, leaving me breathless
because I love you too
but you cant have him
yes I can
your not worthy, your not
you don't know me so
*SHE CAN HAVE WHO SHE WANTS
They will look at you,
You look normal,
Soft skinned,
Young teenage girl,
Beautiful,
Possibly stunning,
You can talk normally,
Act normal,
Feel normal!


Though as a girl you fear,
You fear what that place can bring,
The look on the faces of strangers,
When they find out that you are:
One of them!

Some will run away from you,
Some will look at you like you are crazy,
Some will tell their friends to stay way from you,
That is how you get bullied,
That is how rumors start.

But its not like we killed some one,
  We are not crazy,
We really are normal!
Pray for a better today
better tomorrow
better community
better health care
better schools
better media that minds their own
better cancer treatments
this is what I do
but I am laughed at
because they say it is dumb
that me praying is doing nothing
that I should go and make a physical change
why
I can do that
I know how
but you don't know what I know
then they laugh harder
I walk away because it is not worth me battling
I have better things that I could do
and none of them
involve me standing here with you
arguing
you fall
you gently kiss the earth
you hydrate us and our world
so quietly

there is a slight hum as you pass my ears
I love it
I walk through the forest
the leaves are a thousand different colors
yellow
red
purple
orange

the pitter patter of the leafs dripping
the trees bark almost black in areas
soft foam coming from the tree
the leaves are shiny on the ground

the air smells of wet pine tree
and decomposing pine needles and acorns
the red bird flies from birch to birch
and pick the holly leaves
the Blue Jay screeches and flies away

while in the distance a squirrel
soaked from the rain runs to his tree
in his mouth there is about  a dozen nuts

I walk up the path
I can see all of the uprising roots
the trees drip from the extra water
the air is chilly
but to me rain
you are peaceful
and you are what makes me happy
I start running
I go as fast as I can
I am scared of how close it is getting to me
I don't want to know
suddenly.. I face plant
and they quickly close in
they torcher me
I scream and cry
I swear it was forever
suddenly it stops
I open my eyes
and they are gone
I try to get up and walk
but I am so sore
so I just lay there
and cry
Mom,
You tell me all the time,
That I need a revolutionize,
You always locked me in that cage,
You know the one,
Yes my room.
I know that you knew,
That I had a rigid life,
But I did not keep in mind,
Why did you not tell me?
I wanted to be,
Be the child that you wanted your whole life,
I doubt it that I was ever able to show that,

Dad,
I know that I always drove you crazy,
I know that you always told me “don’t say sorry”
You told me that it could not change any thing,
You told me that you change things with your actions
Though I tried to be a daddies little girl.

little do people know
that sooner or later... we give up
there are times when we cant
we don't want to
the moment when you walk away
because you don't know what to do.

life is something we go through
some are sent to give hope
there are some who will hurt
but they are the ones who make you ...you
and no one can take that away

these are things I have learned
but after the bad there was always good
the bad never stayed

I can thank a greater light for that.
Looking back...
you know what happened...
but you always want to know what will happen
that is unknown

when we know that things are about to happen...
but it is to late...
we cant turn the tables and change it...
the moment had passed for that to happen...
when it will happen again..
that is unknown

when we sit and ask ourselves.. what was I thinking???
the moment you realize that there maybe no second chance...
you continue to think ....
will i ever be able to make things better?
this is known...for your future depends on your actions!
You sitting
walking
standing
and all you do is think

you replay the past
wishing that you could have done
and how upsetting that you cant change it

its a melody that runs in circles
going around and around

you run from it
faster and faster
in a distance you can see a light
you run now

its a melody that wont stop
it goes around and around

run faster
you can make it
the light gets bigger and spreads out
slowly you can make out a door
you know if you can make it
it will be over
just SLAM the door...
In time I will grow,
Not just physically,
But mentally,
Emotionally,
And personally

but if you still can not see this.. that is all your fault
I have been gone
don't get me wrong with that
but when i was gone i have done a many of good things
i have traveled the world and landed in remote islands
focusing on helping the poor
there is so much that i can do
but i always feel like i don't do enough
dressing those who have no cloths
cleaning houses and painting them
there was so much to do
but not enough time
then out of the blue you were standing there
i did not know you
but you caught my eye
but then you decided that later you would kiss me
this was the most awful idea you had
was there anything else
i did not turn to any one
but to distract my self i played with the poor kids
give them all my attention because they needed it
but to remind you you made a bad decision one after the other
we are two worlds apart
two different planets
you could never have me
I though you said you would be there
you never were
you told me one thing
but did another.

but today i'm stronger
I wanted to thank
for showing me what not to do

what happened showed me that I can do better
Kona kepoo
R.I.P.
it starts here
                           then keeps moving
                                           It burns
                                              but there
                                                is nothing
                                               I can do
                                            but sit and
                                          cry..why?
                                        when will
                                     it stop
                                  my body
                               writhes in
                            pain.. I
                          feel my tears
                      fall down my
                  cheeks..my
                  muscles burn
                   and by back crunches
                     I will not give up
                         this is my battle
                             and I wont stop
                                   im going to win
                                            I have control
                                          and no one will stray
                                        me away from what I have
                                   chosen and I will fight ...then
                                 I can watch you writhe in pain when
                                    I stab you and put you in pain
                                       I can promise that you will
                                             regret what you have
                                                          done..
                                                               I
                                                               h
                                                               a
                                                               t
                                                               e
                                                               o
                                                             y   u
Let me tell you what society will tell you:
Increases your chances of getting a job,
Provides you an opportunity to be successful,
Be a lot less stressful,
Education is the key.

Now let me tell you something your parents will tell you:
Make me proud,
Increases your chances of getting a job,
Provides you an opportunity to be successful,
Your life will be a lot less stressful,
Education is the key.

Now let's look at the statistics,
Steve Jobs - net worth seven billion R.I.P,
Richard Branson - net worth four point two billion,
Oprah Winfrey - two point seven billion,
Mark Zuckerberg, Henry Ford, Steven Spielberg, Bill Gates
Now here comes the Coup de grâce,
Looking at these individuals, what's your conclusion?
Neither of them in being successful,
Ever graduated from a higher learning institution.

Now some of you may be like,
Money is only the medium by which we measure worldly success,
And some of you even have the nerve to say
"I don't do it for the money."
So what you studying for?
To work for a charity?
Need more clarity?

Let's look at the statistics:
Jesus,
Muhammed,
Socrates,
Malcolm X,
Mother Teresa,
Spielberg,
Shakespeare,
Beethoven,
Jesse Owens,
Muhammad Ali,
Sean Carter,
Michael Jeffrey Jordan,
Michael Joseph Jackson.
Were either of these people unsuccessful... or... uneducated?

All I'm saying is that,
If there was a family tree hard work and education would be related,
But school would probably be a distant cousin,
Because if education is the key,
School is the lock,
Because it rarely ever develops your mind to the point where it can perceive red as green and continue to go when someone else said stop.
Because as long as you follow the rules and pass exams your cool,
But are you aware that examiners have a checklist,
And if your answer is something outside the box then the automatic response is a cross,
And then they claim that school expands your horizons and your visions,
Well tell that to Malcolm X who dropped out of school and is world renowned for what he learn in a prison.

Proverbs 17:16
It does a fool no good to spend money on an education,
Why?
Because he has no common sense.
George Bush. Need I say more?
Education is about inspiring one's mind,
Not just filling their head,
And take this from me because I'm an 'Educated' man myself,
Who only came to this realization after countless nights in the library,
With a can of red bull keeping me awake till morning,
Another can in the morning,
Falling asleep between piles of books that probably equates to the same amount I spent on my rent,
Memorize equations, facts and dates,
Write down to the letter,
Half of which I would never remember,
And half of which I would forget straight after the exam,
Before the start of the next semester,
Asking anyone if they had notes for the last lecture.
I often found myself running to class,
Just so I could find a spot on which I could rest my head and just sleep without making a scene,
Ironic because that's the only time I ever spent in university chasing my dreams.
And then after nights with a dead-mind,
I'd den find myself in a queue of half-awake students, zombies,
Waiting to hand in an assignment,
Maybe that's why they call it a deadline.
And then after three years of mental suppression,
And frustration,
My "Proud Mother" didn't even turn up to my graduation.

Now, I'm not saying that school is evil and there's nothing to gain,
All I'm saying is: understand your morals and re-assess your aims,
If you want a job working for someone else then help yourself,
But then that would be a contradiction because you wouldn't really be helping yourself,
You'd be helping somebody else,
There's a saying that is: if you don't build your dreams, someone else will hire you to help build theirs.

Redefine how you view education,
Understand it's true meaning,
Education is not just about regurgitating facts from a book,
Or someone else's opinion on a subject to pass an exam,
Look at it.
Picasso was educated at creating art,
Shakespeare was educated in the art of all that was written,
Colonel Harland Sanders was educated in the art of creating Ken Tucky Fried Chicken.

I once saw David Beckham take a free kick,
I watched as the side of his Adidas-sponsored boot hit the patent leather of the ball at an angle,
Which caused it to travel towards the skies as though it was destined for the heavens,
And then as it reached the peek of it's momentum,
As though it changed it's mind,
It switched directions.
I watched as the goalkeeper froze,
As though reciting to himself the laws of physics,
And as though his brain was negotiating with his eyes,
That was indeed witnessing the spectacle that was the leather swan that was swooping towards it,
And then reacted,
Though only a fraction of a millisecond too late,
And before the net of the goal,
Embraced the Fifa-Sponsored ball as though it was the prodigal son returning home,
And the country, that I live in, Erupted into cheers,
I looked at the play and thought,
****,
Looking at David Beckham,
There's more than one way in this world to be,

An educated man.

Peace.
I don't want to be involved
I don't want to know
I just want to be transparent
so I look away
Magical
                  Dazzling, shining
             Glowing, moving, flying
             Lost, happy, free, amazing
                magnificent, delightful
                         Mysterious

— The End —