Ashley David

Ashley David Dec 2016

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I am a terrible poker player
           I just don't know
                          when to fold.

And that reminds me of you.
           How I let you treat me.
           How I keep myself from
                          winning.

All the signs are there
          all the signs of a ****** hand.

But I just can't seem to let go.
           I just can't seem to see it
                             as it is.

So I hold on,
            waiting for
            the right card to show.
                              But it never will.

I'm not right for you.
But the fantasy
           of who you want me to be
                     keeps you coming back for
                               more.

I am not that girl.
           I am something else.
                      Something worth holding on to.

You hold on
             thinking I'm your best
                        chance.

It's my time to fold.

---
a.d.
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#poker

Ashley David Dec 2016

What Gives

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I have spirit and light.
I am faster and thoughtful.
I am selfless;
Everything can balance.

I will keep it perfect.
It will smile.
I will give it all.
I will make this dance.

Then it all comes:
The weight.
I might fall
So I am numb.

The void is vast,
It’s empty of much,
It’s been waiting for me,
I succumb.

I fill it quickly.
Everyone quiet.
I give 'til there's nothing,
It takes more still.

Each task:
More difficult.
Every word: sharper.
But there is more to fill.

As I carry it all
To fill the void,
They watch nearby,
But they do not see.

My heart is now cold.
My words are short.
I carry it all,
But it's too heavy.

I want to stay strong,
But there is nothing left to take
But what I have inside.

Nobody hears me break.
---
a.d.
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— The End —