Who am I to keep fighting?
To hold onto something that's
crumbling beneath my fingertips?
I'm not the strong girl I was.
My soul aches for a break,
to be happy in complete solitude.
But there is no light
at the end of this tunnel.

Happiness was once on my doorstep,
begging for me to come outside.
But I slammed the door and locked it.
Instead of leaving,
I released my inner demons.
They taunt me and remind me that I am weak.

I can't resist the urge
to carve my pain into my skin.
I can't seem to look away as
the rushing blood stains my sheets.

Who am I?
Certainly not a soldier, fighting to survive.
My gun has been broken and ruined.
Certainly not an innocent girl
who lacks the knowledge to carry on.
I am stuck in complacency,
willing to accept my fate instead of change it.

I feel empty and hopeless,
praying for the day happiness returns.
And instead of knocking,
it kicks my door down and steals my soul
before this darkness overwhelms me.

I don't know where to turn,
what to do,
who to go to.
My brain is ****** up,
broken-
Thoughts misconstrued; misspoken.
I stumble over my words,
unable to put a clear sentence together.
I claw at the fog,
scream at the darkness
but there's no one there.
How do I fight back,
when I'm fighting myself?
I want to go back to
the things i used to do.
Rip at the flesh and bleed out the pain,
over and over again.
I want to drink myself to numbness,
smoke away the agony.
I want to slip into obscurity.
Please, please help me.

If only you could have seen me yesterday,
I was running around and refusing change.
But I found this passion,
something indescribable.
If you had looked the other day,
you would have seen a broken heart
or the battle scars.
But I've broken from the chains,
I'm finally feeling alive.
I am not what I have done,
I'm what I've overcome.
I know I will stumble,
and maybe fall down.
But the sky ahead is golden
and the sun warms my bones.
I've made my mistakes,
but who hasn't?
The going will get rough,
but I will not break.
I have someone saving me.