I sit wrapped in blankets,
listening as another dish hits the wall.
Mommy, daddy didn't mean what he said,
I swear it isn't true.
Don't walk out this time,
bring your suitcases back inside.
Dad, mommy didn't mean to yell,
put the alcohol back on the shelf.
I promise I'll try harder in school,
I won't go out as much.
I'll take care of myself
and I'll always clean my room.
They say home is where the heart is,
but mine's been bruised and broken.
What's it like to live
where everyone is in harmony?
Where you stay out too long,
and dad waits up worried?
How does it feel to hear laughter,
instead of constant screaming?
Even superglue can't paste
these crumbling remains together again.

You use your one phone call a month
to dial my number.
Let me know that I'm worthless,
a disgrace to human kind.
I barely listen,
your insults no longer affecting me.
I'm not the one behind bars.
But this time I can't shake the words;
the obscenities haunting me.
Why am I the disgusting one,
When you're the one who's ****** up?
When all I did was fight back
trying to get you to stop?
You did more damage in eight months,
than I could do in my lifetime.
I still get the flashbacks and nightmares.
You get to sit back and smile,
knowing I'm the girl you destroyed
While I'm busy fighting the mirror,
screaming at the reflection I see there.
My thoughts are broken by your voice,
insults and abuse replacing confidence.
Five years and I still can't fix myself.

How do you close your eyes
when you know what's coming?
Plagued by these nightmares,
all too real to forget.
Too scared to speak up;
words lost in a cloud of terror.
Where can you run to,
when friends have heard it all before?
How many sleepless nights spent crying,
forcing yourself to block out their faces?
Even screaming can't save you.
You are alone,
trapped in a world that is not your own.
Here, the monsters come to play,
your happiness and joy their desire.
Repression only delays the pain;
flashbacks will come,
even those you try to erase.
And as the sun rises, you are free and alone,
Counting down the hours until
you are taken over again.

Have you ever felt alone
surrounded by a group of people?
Their eyes on others,
who are begging for attention.
And you sit and sit,
but no one notices.
Where did it all change?
When did ignorance become bliss?
How can you feel so isolated
when everyone's there?
And they say they'll listen
and that they'll be kind,
but how can they
when you're left behind?
Can you even call them friends,
when they won't answer your calls?
Or won't tell you the truth?
When they'd rather run away
than confront the issues?
But you stay stuck and
hurting in this purgatory.
The life of a ghost girl
living between friendship and hate.

As the years tick on,
my memories remain.
You were so broken;
drugs your only friend.
But you smiled at me,
and I wanted to take your pain away.

Your hand fit mine
just like a puzzle piece.
Inseparable we became,
and the drugs slowly faded out.

You would take me to parks,
and we'd watch the sun set.
The colors were always clearer
with you by my side.

And even as I struggled,
you never left me.
You healed all my wounds
and showed me that not everyone was bad.
You would hold me through the tears,
and talk to me through the nightmares.

Sometimes I still find the notes
you had hid around my room.
I wonder if you can see me,
atop your pearly white cloud.
And I wonder if you miss me
like I constantly miss you.

I'm told to move on-
that dwelling on ghosts
is a terrible habit.
But how do you move on
from someone who meant everything to you?

Maybe we'll meet again
somewhere up in heaven.
Like two missing pieces
to the same damaged puzzle.

When you've hit rock bottom,
there is nowhere to go but up.
And while everything crumbled,
you were my super glue.
During all the pain and sadness,
your smile got me through.
Could you blame me
for giving you my whole heart?
It was damaged and shattered,
but you picked up the pieces.
You were the light
the brought me home again.
Your gentle touch is still enough
to give me butterflies.
And though it may not be easy,
the love is worth the fight.
Your arms are my safety net,
and inside of them
I am finally whole again.