all i've wanted to say for awhile is that i love you.
and i've never quite got the chance
because we don't speak (as much)
and uh, well,
i really like you

like uh



really


*******



like




you

and this is turning v sappy and i'm not sure how to feel about it but okay
please don't hate me
ikjsdhkhgjgvyteuw


i'm not going to be online for a while so i'm not ignoring you

and urkejuhgfi7odsgyhk i'm so awkward i hate everything
but yeah
arya xo

i watch the trees outside of my house
how leaves fall from the tree to the ground

but they don't make a sound, they're as quiet as a mouse
and they sit and they wait and wait until they are found

but sometimes
people don't pick up leaves
and people leave them
to be swept away
by some old man
trying to get his pay

i always pick leaves up
because i know how it feels
to be alone in a place you don't know

but that only happens to be in my mind
where i am alone and cannot be found

i'm only trying to find my way back home
because all i've been feeling is lost and alone
i need somebody to show me the way
so it'll be clear as day

whether i am to stay

the way you loved was cold
it was like you'd just picked me
out of the trash
and put me in your pocket
and told me you loved me
for the sake of keeping my heart beating
and my pulse thudding
and when you felt
that i'd received all the love i could
you left

i like the way your arms wrap around my waist
they keep me safe guarded
away from the pain
of the beautiful world we live in


i enjoy when your lips touch mine
you taste like whiskey and cigarettes (laughs)

the way that
when i'm cold
you'd lend me your jacket
and tell me that your only wish is to keep me warm

i hate the way
you said you wouldn't leave
but abandoned me
when things got hard

from that day
i prayed and prayed
until i'd held the cross
in my hands
just a little too tight
and the blood
ran down
and around
my wrist
like ivy
on a wall
and that was when i swore
on the name of god
and his son
that i would not fall for anybody
if i was still falling for her

it's funny how..

one person could possibly mean the world to you
but could disappear and leave you feeling empty

your heart can shatter
but you don't feel the pieces falling and cutting your internal organs

a face can conceal so much pain and anguish
but nobody sees it
you're just another face in a crowd of a thousand people

sidenote: you (know who you are) don't need to read this if you don't want to. i understand why you wouldn't, all i ever want is your attention.

as i sit here, in the dark and slam my fingers down on the various keys to make a structure, i realise something;
after fourteen months, i'm still in love with you.
at first, i never understood love, i thought it was a myth, simply something that would would only appear in those old disney films,
but then i found you and that was when i realised.
love isn't something to throw around, nor ignore.
if you love somebody, tell them.
because one day, after you've told them, they're going to feel something and that something will be so magical.
love isn't a myth, it's simply something that can only be felt by the correct two people, in one relationship.

i want to get on a train with you
to endless locations

i'm safe

you'd lend me your jacket
because i'd gotten cold

we'd sit on the old bench
and we'd cuddle
just us

your mind was a kaleidoscope of dreams and misfortunes
you always looked towards postivity when negativity struck
the sky was your hope
the sea was your soul
you were the oxygen all around
you were my umbrella
you saved me from drowning
but you left
and slowly but surely
you turned into my anchor
weighing me down
and down
until i hit the very bottom
and now i am lost
between the surface
and the floor

disregarding of everything
you once knew
for the person
you used to be
all to be left on your own
by the one who promised they'd stay