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Janey Feb 2016
You're allosteric babe
You changed the way I keep
With no defense
It must've been so easy

Nothing but respect
For the words you said to me
There's not enough of everything
To keep anything forever

I don't function like I used to
And maybe thats alright
I was spinning out of control
My heart just felt so light

Heaviness returned
So rapidly when you spoke
Of what I don't deserve
It left me an understanding
Of exactly who you think you are

Now I'm grounded to the spot
My heart is heavy in its box
But no more energy is lost
For something that wont last

Allosteric and present
Maybe I'll function properly
When the memory
Dissipates
Janey Aug 2016
It's different on everyone
You can color the pages just how you like
and when everything once important has left
The bits that grew when all was well are still there
there in the bit you tuck behind your ear
Janey Aug 2016
When the world rests I'm restless
Because during your speech
I was speechless
Losing words to popcorn ceilings
And now I'll love you for how you love
Other people
Because when you see me
I'm blind
Janey Feb 2016
I found a song I like but I noticed you listening to it too
I only hope I can listen carefully and not have it remind me of you.

But the piano is synthesized like I was around you, the guitar grows quiet like you did when you enumerated to me what I deserved. It ends on a minor chord, and I remember you saying that was your favorite way for things to end, but I can’t imagine a worse way to leave my heart.

It’s waiting to come back to me with the chime of a major, the resolution of a key, the loss of dissonance and the fixation of an eardrum, I never wanted it to end.

But songs are short and so were we, and songs can be replayed, so so could we but there aren’t headphones for love, it can’t just be me.
Just leave me be.
Janey Mar 2016
Forgive my simple happy demeanor
And the sparkle in my eyes
It all feels dull on the inside
It all feels too polar to survive
Ill melt away in water, caused by my own eyes
As your’s look away, thinking I’ll be fine
Janey Mar 2016
Don’t talk about it
Don’t spill it yet
The little sparks and paraparaxis
The little moments I think about too often

It’ll be there when we laugh with others
It’ll come back greater with every moment left unexplained
And It’ll last through the mud we trudge through now

Don’t speak about it
Don’t tell anyone you know
Don’t tip the bottle to showcase it’s glow
You’ll only spill it
Just let it sit, don’t let it flow
Not just yet
I think we both know

You’ve got checklists and talks to have
I’ve got my past to bury in the persistence of someone new
It can’t just yet be you
Just waiting.
Also wish I didn't have to rhyme in almost every stanza but oh well
Janey Feb 2016
Two lights
And as I pass
The first shadow scares me more

A projection of the past
Onto the bare cement
Where I've been
Changes where I'll be

I'm walking the way I've gone
So many times before
The nights feel long
And you aren't here anymore

The evening is quiet
And I wish I had friends
But I'll settle for the people passing
And think upon your absence

So many firsts not so long ago
For you of course
But me and myself
Found it all to be new
Quite new to be true

New to be rejected
The empathy returns
The first break is the breakthrough
Leaves you wishing
They didn't breakthrough

Two lights
And as I pass
The first shadow scares me more
I hope
Where I've been
Won't change where I'll be
Janey Feb 2016
You'll be okay
Leave this place unphased
I heard it happen
It was there in your voice
That I didn't occupy your mind
Not as often as you do mine

And thats okay
Ive been a girl whose done the same
All you've done is tried on my old shoes
And walked away with them

You left me though
With a new feeling
A brand new pair of shoes
Squeaky and shiny
Ill explore the world in them and think of you
Ill let you know what I find

Or I won't
But know I'll want to
And I know you don't
Janey Feb 2016
It’s 1 now and you’ve gone to bed
Ill be up till three
The usual me
Sitting wondering
Where you’re mind will be
Right before you’ll drift ever so lightly

— The End —