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You might be Heathcliff
To my Elizabeth
Because a hero I, need not
If you choose to impress through lies and duress
you’re surely, not the man  I thought

I am not a romantic
When you stand in the rain
You can be pedantic
But please don’t refrain
From your recitations of poetry
If I could rewrite this story
I’d try and make you see

For Mr. Wickham
I can see clearly through
Have I told not
All of my truths to you
If you could forgive me
For being quite uncouth
I’d leave my homestead
And walk days to you

I am not a romantic
When you stand in the rain
You can be pedantic
But please don’t refrain
From your recitations of poetry
If I could rewrite this story
I’d try and make you see

You might be angry
And feeling betrayed, but
This is not a war to be fought
If you can forgive me
I’ll try to make you see
That you’re the romantic I want

Your good opinions
Have surely been lost
I made snap judgments
Not knowing the cost
If you can forgive me
Then please tell me so
But if you cannot
Away I will go
Help me, I’m Icarus
I’m sinking, into the sea
Everyone knows what got me here,
My pride got the best of me

I’m in your tattoos,
your cautionary tales
Don’t patronize me like Moby,
the **** got swallowed up by a whale

Save me from drowning
It could be worth your while
Even though, as long as I live
My legend inevitably dies

Help me, I’m Icarus
Sinking into the sea
My pride may have gotten me here,
but I died from your apathy
I’m walking away from everything
That’s ****** me off
Or made me unhappy

I’m going to let myself lose control
talk to strangers, I don’t know
move to a foreign land
be back by Christmas, but who knows what then


I’m going to leave this place I know
pack up my things, let my baggage go
become a stranger to myself
Maybe return as someone else

I’m going to reinvent myself
be irresponsible with my wealth
find a new song to sing
get in a fight, hear myself scream

I need to recalibrate my soul
I need no one to make me whole
I’m going to make more time for me
make all my lists of dreams realities

I don’t need my head on straight
I’m twenty-one not thirty-eight
I’m allowed to fall apart
be stupid, follow my heart
I never make you smile anymore
I don't want to make you sad
I don't want to be without you
But I'm always making you mad
You're right when you say
I don't know why
I love you
Even when you make me cry
I don't want to be selfish
I don't want to be this person that I am
Even when I'm writing for you
It's still about me, *******.
I want to make you laugh
be everything that you want
Usually I don't understand you
or what I've done wrong
You say I don't treat you like a person
and I know everything wrong is my fault
But sometimes I think
you'd be happier without me
But I don't want you to be
I don't want to be a bad person
but when you're upset with me I come undone.
I know you wish we never begun,
you'd be happy and free.
I'd still be lonely and wishing you still wanted me.
All the changes I've made
are not making a change.
Taking things out of one box
putting them in another
throwing away things
that used to mean something.
Moving furniture.
Looking at old pictures,
reminiscing.
Longing for something,
but what I don't know.
It's weird to sleep without you tonight.  
I'll open the window because you like it that way.
But when I stretch out my cold feet,
to find you, you're not there.
But the mess on my floor is looming at me,
and it tells you to go away until all is
straightened, organized, clean
my obsessive tendencies in every aspect of my life.
I should be sleeping now,
but the untidiness is keeping me awake.
And, you're not here to tell me to let it go.
Sometimes I need you like that.
Obsessive, organized chaos.
I clean like I need you,
my obsessions.
And I'm sorry for that.
You walk back into my life
suddenly I'm sixteen again
and you're my whole world
except
you can't be
I have a boyfriend
you have a girlfriend
this can't be the end
of our french film
where we finally find
each other
we missed so many moments
distance
poor timing
poor judgment
always something in our way
Steve sleeping in the room
you have a new girlfriend
we missed
isn't it too late now?
three years later.
I'm sixteen again
and afraid I'll love you again
afraid you'll hurt me again
when I know you're leaving
the province
there will be ocean between us
this time
will I regret you
regret doing what I have yet to do
or regret doing what I never did
you were always my melody
and I your muse
you left and took my music with you
and you just keep playing our song
suddenly sixteen again
and you're singing just for me
Safe and sound in phone lines
but here I am now
lying in another guys bed
thinking of us.
We were wrong
we were sixteen and stupid
we'll never make it to that place
and my guitar needs new strings.
This is what I though was my best writing, now I look back and feel sort of foolish - copied straight out of my blog from 2008.*

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Erased.. [song]
Current mood:  betrayed
Category: Writing and Poetry


Ten years from now
Tell me what do you see
Is your life, how you want it to be
Are you loved, are you okay
Do you thoughts, ever cross my way

Does my name, come to mind
When you hear, that song late at night
Are you ever reminded, of my face
Or am I a memory, in time erased

When you look back, take your time
I hope you remember, making me smile
And all of the nights we stayed up late
Just talking, like we were soul mates

After all of these years, did you know
Your name was behind, every word I wrote
And all of those songs, you used to sing
I always wondered, were any about me

Does my name, come to mind
When you hear, that song late at night
Are you ever reminded, of my face
Or am I a memory, in time erased

And did you know, that it hurt
When you didn't, pick me over her
Was it all, just a big mistake
How'd you feel, when you seen my heart break

Does my name, come to mind
When you hear, that song late at night
Are you ever reminded, of my face
Or am I a memory, in time erased

I'd like to forget, go back in time
Say goodbye, know you'll never be mine
End it all, keep from wondering why
When I fall, I cant keep it inside

Currently listening:
Ocean Avenue
By Yellowcard
Release date: 22 July, 2003
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