The only place

that allows me to be me.

The only place

that i am finally free.

To escape everyone

even if they walk in.

Th doctors in coats

injecting their drugs.

Sadly enough

i couldnt ask for a hug.

All i wanted was to be loved

but insted only got a cry for help.

Being alone...

and tied in my thoughts.

I really don't know

how to end this poem.

All i know is...

i'm in a padded room

tie in a straightjacket

ready to crack.

Hide me Hide me
in the shades
under the trees
and behind the bushes.
Away from everyone
who is trying to find me
who is willing to do harm
by there hurtful hands.
Hide me Hide me
in my house
in my basement
under my blanket.
I don't want to hear
there taunting noises
nor do i want to see
their prying eyes.
Leave me alone
to be alone
to carry on
what i have left.
I don't know what i did wrong
i don't know
why you doing this
from now to my final end
I will put you on
my suicide list.

Every noise he makes
every screetching noise he plays.
Louder and louder
i cover my ears.
I close my eyes tight
and think happy thoughts.
Its too loud i said.
All i want is for it to stop.
I cry every note he plays.
I want to bang my head
against the hard ground.
I want to see the blood flow out
as he plays his song.
It hurts to think
i cant even finish this poem.
It becomes more and more loud
even his song cries out for help.
We been through so much
even beaten by a clutch.
Although he plays till night
i am still in fright.

I been seeing things
but they are not connected to strings.
Every corner i turn
it seems to burn.
All the faces i see
i feel like an escapee.
There thoughts
i can hear them loudly.
Its hard to run away
even when i pray.
Their eyes
they show a shadow if their past.
Haunted memories
flooded the place.
I cover my ears
so i cannot hear their painful moaning.
I'm shaking in fear
as their words pierce me.
These are the things
i can not be free from.
I know i am not in much of help
but hearing your cries
makes me cry.

Sticks and stones
May break mine bones
But words can never hurt me.
Sticks and stones
Are thrown at me
Bruising my head and ribs.
Insults are harsher
Laughter is louder
They said words can never hurt me
They are right…
I’m not hurt at all
I’m torment.

I am a walking disease.
If I’m willing
I will drink a cup of bleach.
If I wasn’t allow to teach
then throw me a rope.
As I teach myself
to hang from a beam.
Was it a dream?
to be a walking anorexia.
A human who can’t feed herself
properly to perfection.
Was not eating an infection
that consumes my everything.
I am a walking disease
who can’t be trusted by a knife?
Is this a way of life?
That I have scars
that should be
put behind bars.
Or could I jump
in front of a car.
Yes I do have a problem
that sometimes can be taunted
Like I am and will be
I am a walking disease.

Painful Tears
Hurtful Thoughts
Dying Nights
Killer Victims
Walking Freaks
across the street.
Loud Preachers
screaming in my ears.
Supporting Friends
who dont understand.
It seems like
i'm being punish
Praying to God
whom i ask for forgiveness.
What words…
will stab me
till i have internal bleeding.
When will the darkness
surround my every being.
Will i have my eyes open
to see another day
Or my eyes close
to see the internal night
forever…