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Alanna Feb 2015
Fingers like feathers,
so soft and light.
With the simplest of touches,
my body  ignites.
Your breath on my face,
Is the wind in my hair.
All the worlds problems,
seem light as thin air.
Matching smiles on both faces,
increasing heart races.
Our bodies so hot,
that my stomachs in knots
My heart sings a song,
when you come along.
what you crave in life in love. How you want it so bad, but have never experienced it
Alanna Jun 2013
The pain I feel is strange to me.
So strange to me it is,
that I don't believe it should count as pain.
It is more a feeling that makes me omit pain out.
I feel nothing
Nothing but numb
My heart rate picks up at the mention of things, not quit non yet
Though I feel as if I have left something and need to remember it.
Like I have forgotten something, or misplaced.
Though now when I try to only think of it,
It strikes me fast and hot,
across my body
at a full blown trot
Like a stamped of horses wild and free has been giving a path to come and run over me.
They step on my heart, my stomach, my chest
Like a burning wild fire,
it will soon spread through to the rest.
Till there is nothing left in its path,
but ashes ashes ash
Alanna Mar 2013
Cold wind blows against my body,
against my cheek.
If I were wood,
I'd surely creek.
Leafs crunch beneath my feet.
In that moment it's like everything  has frozen around me.
My heart is beating fast.
Nothing matters now,
It's in the past.
Everything is cold and sharp,
just like the weather around me,
though somehow it still warms my heart.
I raise my arms above my head,
while sporting red mittens,
a sharp ruby red.
Head tilt back,
eyes have closed,
I smell the crisp air through my nose.
Twirling fast round,
I don't care if I hit the ground.
My mood has changed in this moment,
thoughts now erased,
a huge smile has taken up spaces,
on my face.
I love everything about this place,
the smell,
the taste,
the touch,
the sound.
The way it seems to lift my body way up off the ground.
Alanna Mar 2013
"I'm fine"
"I'm fine"
I'm just  dying inside
"I'm fine"
"I'm fine"
There's no reason to cry
"I'm fine"
"I'm fine"
Because I'm dying this time
Alanna Mar 2013
My life is still; frozen in time.
My heart still stings,
But is not blind.
My minds shut down,
My body's numb,
But still strong enough to hold this gun.
Load it once,
It's all I'll need.
It's my time to succeed!
To set myself
Forever free.
Alanna Mar 2013
I loved you,
didn't you know?
I'm pretty sure it really showed,
Across my face
And more internal place
Between our texts,
Even those photos you wanted sent.
I did everything for you, and every position.
You ,would and could, call at any time,
I'd be ready for you, like I'd been ready for days on end.
I thought are love was grand and true,
But that's just the ******* you'd feed me,
which I'd tell back to you,
Thinking it was true,
you to me,
me forever with you.
Alanna Jun 2013
My "friends" have up and left me,
Though I thought  we'd be friends forever.
All the secrets and feeling I kept,
Deep down for no ones ears to be met.
They dragged out of me,
Discovered
So now between us they hover.
Though sad and true,
Your best friends are also you greatest enemies too.
They know all your secrets and old thoughts, too.
Giving false hope
With talk about the future.
Just now make me feel like a total loser.
Alanna Feb 2015
Is it OK if we play the whole day?
I know we are young, but this feels like fate
This feeling will last longer than this day
Do not let this friendship turn into hate

Friendships grow all over the place like vines
Strong bonds are like songs perfectly strummed
Never to be a set path of straight lines
You could never be shaded or dimmed

But I will not catch, for you, a grenade
With you I have not been the luckiest
Just know this feeling will never fade
But with me you will always be safest
I hope that you will never try to see
Someone else who can make you feel more free.
English structured poem about friendships, love and hope.
Alanna Apr 2013
My first party,
I'll have a blast.
Have a couple of drinks,
And forget my past.
Let my body sway to the music played.
I'm a horrible singer
Though I tip my head back and sing anyway.
Alcohol courses through my body,
Making me feel funny
Like I'm in a different body.
We stumble down the stairs
Crying from laughing
Having a hard time handling our liquor
But we have no fears.
Dreams feel possible,
While speech is blurred.
Touching each others bodies
Like it is the end of the world.
Head spinning
Fingers roaming
We fall to the ground laughing
Though still clinging.
I've been given drink after drink
Though I wish I hadn't
It's getting to hard to think.
The world is spinning all around
But we are still together
Clinging on the ground.
Tongue numb and dry
Tears fall from my eyes
I had not felt but tasted on my lips
Though I told you time and time again
"I'm not wasted, stop asking. Or next time I'll say no. And this will never happen again".
I had lied to you and my self.
Is it to late to stop you and ask for help?
My throats on fire,
I'm feeling sick
What the **** did you put in this drink?
No longer happy,
Just let me go.
"Get off of me!"
All I want is to leave and be free from this,
Of you,
Of this pain,
Of these tears,
Of this strain on my brain
And this sinking
                         feeling
                                     happening
                                                       ­  inside
                                                          ­             me.
Alanna Aug 2013
In the lush grass we run
In the lush grass we laugh
In the lush grass we love
In the lush grass we cry.
Your fingers touch my neck,
And that's it, you've past my every test.
In the lush grass the sun is blazing
In the lush grass my heart'll be racing
In the lush grass my vision will be spotted with shining white from the light.
In the lush grass the bugs will be there,
even all through the night.
In the lush grass we will cling to each other with all our might
In the lush grass we've laughed till we've "almost" ***
In the lush grass are hearts feel free.
In the lush grass I'll wish to forever be,
In the lush grass I'll hope you'll forever be with me.
In the lush grass we've grown
In the lush grass we've made this are secret little home- away-from-home.
In the lush grass I wish to never have to go home.
In the lush grass I let time not really pass by.
In the lush grass we lay looking up at the sky.
In the lush grass a single tear is slowly cried,
for every second here in the grass I have you, my love, by my side.
In the lush grass we will die side by lovely side
In the lush grass I've never had to hide.
In the lush grass I've had you by my side, always touching, even in the chill.
In the lush grass I'll love you forever and ever
For the lush grass we deserve and will forever be,
even when are body and soul separate and are free.
In the lush grass we fell in love and will forever be
In the lush grass we found and set each other free.
So now here in the lush grass, will you marry me?
Alanna Feb 2015
When the time comes for wonder and delight,
Open your vacant eyes, from yesterday,
Take a deep breath, do not strain, do not fright.

Seeing is believing, even in light,
Let your mind open to a fresh new day,
Let your eyes shine bright, from this new insight.

Do not cry, or feel like you are dead-weight,
You are strong, they will move out of your way,
Take deep breaths, do not fight, you are alright.

You will be just right, body heals at night,
Do not blame events on some other day,
Let eyes shine bright, and glow in the skylight.

No where to run, no place to hide, insight
Cover eyes and ears, this is not horseplay,
Days darkest hour is not always at night

You, my fighter, are wound up very tight,
Stay calm and relax, do not shy away,
Take a deep breath, do not strain, do not fright,
Let your eyes shine bright, from this new insight.
Structured villanelle poem
Alanna Feb 2015
Calling out to you
Your head is down, earphones in.
Take them out, listen.
Haiku about how I feel technology can mute the world around us, and blind us from life's beauty.
Alanna Jun 2013
You are like a cancer cell,
You keep multiplying,
Never dying.
You cover more and more,
Till there is no more.
You took away my hopes and dreams,
Have even made me cry and scream.
I'll wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare with you,
To only look at the other side of the bed and cry myself to sleep all over again.
I cannot rest
I am a mess.
I know if I stay much longer,
I will truly regret staying,
Or even having met.
Alanna Apr 2013
My body aches
I feel hollow inside       
            I curl up into my body                
Wishing for nothing        
But to die

My insides are curling
There's to much pain
I can't stop hurling
Horrible stinging in my veins.
I throw back my head
Screaming out in pain
Though no one can hear me
Because it's "all in my head"
At moments like this
There is nothing I'd rather be
Then dead.
Alanna Apr 2013
The worlds a strange place I wont ever figure out,
Even If was the only person left on earth
it would still be strange somehow.
The way we talk,
the way we dress,
only to impress.
Even the smartest person couldn't see
all the things that have ever troubled me.
The way we talk to each other,
so different in each others eyes.
People judge by appearance, colour and race,
even after all these days.
It makes me ashamed

It makes me sick,
Just thinking of bringing something into this world.
Some days I even wish I hadn't been,
So why would I want to bring someone into this hell with me?
I think its selfish, wrong and sick
How people don't try to solve the problems
Not overcome them
But look away quick.
It hurts my deeply
My heart aches
Like its been slit
split open for all the worlds problem to spill into it.
Alanna Mar 2013
Light as air,
My body's high,
I look up through the air,
To the sky.
Blurry from the water in my eyes.

Life has gone by fast,
Sometimes slow.
Weights to much,
I should let go.
Something inside me though,
tells me no.
Alanna Jun 2013
Always on the go
I run, though I try not to show.
I can never just relax,
laugh it out and not worry, just have a blast.
My hands are always shaking.
My mind is always racing,
just like my pulse and pressure upon me.
I creak and creak,
I am breaking.

My face can no longer fake this land slide emotion I'm facing.
My life is slipping,
Through finger and finger.
It's on to the last, like trying to palm sand in your hand.
It's no use, for I can't be helped,
because I have already given up,
on my self.
Alanna Apr 2013
I have been so busy
Work
Sleep
School
Food
Repeat
Though one thought stays with me
That I'm a fool in this world
That I'm just part of a game
That one day I will have been forgotten
Never brought-en up again.
In thought
In spirit
In speach
In dreams
Nothing
Nowhere
No one
Will ever again think about me.
I'll be gone
And forgotten.
It won't take long
Though I wish it would
The world will spin on
With one less person.
Alanna Feb 2015
Stress**
aggressive, defeated
       bending, snapping, breaking
fear, sick, sharp, deep
stabbing, smothering, claiming
hot, jagged
stress
Diamante poem
Alanna Apr 2013
You cracked me open,
You left me for dead.
Chest split open,
Bleeding to death.
I can taste the blood,
I can see the red.
Though all you must see,
Is the dead.
Alanna Mar 2013
My cheeks turn red from the help of the wind
Summers gone
Let winter begin
Toes now cold
My fingers too
I sense life would be different without you.
Like the moon and the sun
Life would be **** without them.
You warm my skin,
Cold toes and fingers.
You numb my lips,
Till my body shivers.
You touch me all over,
With curious fingertips.
I love everything about you
But mostly your lips.
Your Kiss.
Your fingertips.
So this is the truth,
There is nothing,
I mean nothing ,
I do not love about you.
Alanna Mar 2013
I can do what I want
Think what I want
Breath when I want
Sleep when I want
Except
Oh except, when I'm with you
You take that away from me
You do, but you've always knew
And that's when I started hating you!

The line that's drawn between me & you
I & you, you & I both wish for me to die.
Though I fear it's close & to far away.
Maybe tomorrow though, maybe today.
So close just a stretch away
I spread my fingers, only for them to be slapped away.
But till this day,
I'll wait,
I'll stay.
But I just wished you had stayed away
Alanna Mar 2013
I wish I knew just what I wanted to do,
Not just with my life,
But with you, too.

I wish I could see into the future,
Read between the lines,
An at night  watch the stars line up in lines.
I wish,
I could tell if this is going to last,
Or just be a  thought in both are pasts.
I wish,
My only wish,
that you don't leave me,
Not ever,
After this.
You
Alanna Mar 2013
You
In your grasp I scream & cry
In your grasp , I want to die
Under your watchful eye I live by
Under your watchful eye I wish to die
The blood I taste in my mouth, had not got there by its self.
I scream & cry for help,
But to no aid when in ones self.
You throw the punches, while I take the blows.
The marks on the outside seem to go while inside they only grow,
So big,
So strong,
So rough,
So tough,
What can I do? I curl up into myself.
It stings so sweet, like a warm knife throw butter, as it glides through me.
It starts of slow, so nice & sweet, but then it picks up speed.
I watch it grow, but never stop it though.

I haven't smiled for a long while.
The tears don't meet my eyes,
but seem to flood my insides.
Its hard to breath through, but what does that mean to you?
I'm the cat while your the mouse,
You have all the control, while I have non- not even myself.
YOU starve me!
YOU taunt me!
YOU scurry around!
While I thought I had all the control,
That I'd be able to find & hunt you down.
I thought I was the predator & YOU the prey!
When did this switch for you to get control of me?!
Me,my soul & everything inside,
How have you made me a fool,
SO weak & scared of everything about you!
What can I do?
I'll die, without having finding & hunting you.
It's true.
But if I did,
OH BOY!
It wouldn't be fast
I'd cut you everywhere,
Like you did with one glance. One stare.
So deep I'd cut just not enough,
For I'd want you to see what's happening to yourself.
I'd wish not to see you cry but for them to flood YOUR insides!
Then you'd get to the place you had gotten me too,
I'd look into your eye's & say
"*******"

— The End —