When I get those cute texts from my boyfriend.......


...............I close my eyes and wish I was still getting them from you

If I knew the last time I hugged you would be the last I would have held on longer
If I knew the last time I saw you would be the last I would have took more time to take in all of your features and movement
Your walk
Your laugh
Your smile
If I knew the last time I could have just look beside me and you would be standing there I would have never left
The last time you said I love you are permanently burned into my memory
The last time you held me will forever be with me
But the words of me not belonging to you will always haunt my vocabulary
My dearest love if you only knew the thoughts I have maybe you could see me again as your one and only maybe we could have a chance
If I ever told you the true lov I have for you but for now I will hide it behind a page that no one really knows my name and keep this hidden love away from whom it belongs

I used to love you sober
I use to be able to look at you with out to shed a tear
I use to hold and kiss you
Now I am behind a keyboard typing these words that you'll never see
How could this be
I want to go back to the way we use to be
The old me
The sober me

She was the brightness kid in class
Her smile would light up the room
She made everyone laugh
She was perfect
She was strong and beautiful
Thin and smart
Brave and kind
But she was so insecure
She scared her skin
How nobody knew
She would cry to sleep
Or just not sleep at all
She would be so numb she couldn't shed any tears
Yet the next day she still was happy as could be
Her eyes were still stained
Her sleeves were still down
Then the next day
She was so quiet
Not a single real smile
All were shallow and thin
She didn't pay any attention to her friends as they all told jokes
Her boyfriend was holding her but still nothing
Then the next day
She didn't show up
Everyone seemed so down
Then an intercom came on
That the beautiful girl has taken her last breathe
An overwhelming saddest feel on everyone
How could someone so strong fall so far