The likes of you like the likes of those that like back like the likes of incestual narcissists
Social bureaucrats fat with pride, well, they're at the top of the pyramid
Nymphos, narcs, all the same, addicts that are only concerned with what they can gain
Symbiotic, sympathetic, and synchratic all built on a foundation of disdain
So life is too complex, simplify the pain
Cover it up because unhappiness is disgustingly profane

So pray to God, say "let us *******"
Then paint the mirror to assimilate
Lift weights, swipe dates, scale 1 to 10, "don't forget to rate"
Because whether or not we'd like to admit it, our culture treats sadism as a desirable trait

Alpha on alpha on alpha, apparently we have all evolved - to a point in which everyone thought the world revolved
If only technology had not built a wall
Natural selection would have it's pick, and the hive mind would inevitably fall

This is ****** poetry

I am alone.

You are not here.

My lover is gone.

She abused me.

I still love her.

I fear the future.

I fear the past.

The present is beyond my control

I want her back

She will abuse me again

Is the abuse worth it

I want it to be

I don't know if it is

How long can love outweigh ignorance

Does it matter in the end

Does the pain make it worth it

Why is your attention so addicting

Your love is more destructive and addicting than any drug I've ever consumed

My life is in your hands

I need help

All of the above is true

This is a ****** poem

Here I am 6' 2" you 5' 4" a molten core knocking on that cellar door like Drew Barrymore
LET ME OUT!

You furnished these cobwebs like Forbes magazine modern decor telling me how to feel about seasonal arrangements.. and small minimalistic hipster houses.. ****.
For every smile I'd be lucky to see, you were ready to implore

Red and black plaid flannel you caught my eye and then my soul
Don't know how many times little miss blondie from the shore is going to make me tell this story.. ****.
The things a person will do to you when they need you are unfair.
There's no warning signal when you're ensnared..
****.
Where's my magazine?

It's really hard not to talk to her when I can't sleep.

I'm always fine during the day. Usually I can distract myself then. But as soon as my mind's empty. It's the first thing. I try to think of the horrible things she did to me, but it doesn't make me feel any better. It doesn't make me miss her less.

It just makes me want to live forever in those good moments we shared. Indefinite bliss. The things that kept me hanging on, when I should've let go.

The smile, the way her nose pinched. The way she liked certain things just the way I did, and for the same reasons. The roller coaster rides. The times she would open up to me and let me in. Her soft skin, her messy hair, the way she looked when she woke up, and when she was asleep. Her small hands, her defined back, the way she would lean into me when she was sad. I liked the way she wore my t shirts, and when she would lend me her eyes. I just don't know if I was the exception, or if I'm just another guy.

Should I care? Probably not. Not now. Not after everything that happened, but I do, and I know that I will. No matter how big that demon is inside me, the love that I hold will always be stronger. It feels like there's a holy war inside of me, and I don't know whose side to take. I'd like to believe that light prevails, but does that mean it is my fault when love fails?

Where's the light in dark waters
Found my place there in between
But my telescope didn't reflect what I thought
And here we are in the midst
Makes me question the infinite

Your watering can is full of pesticides
And the birds only come in the morning
And when they leave you're left empty
The glass is left on the table with a fading imprint
And you never notice it till the next night
When you're paying with your emotions

I tried to cry, but couldn't
I knew you'd be there, but not like I wanted you to
Where 4 AM feels like forever
And the birds try and start a new day
But that day wasn't sung for you

Movies play on the TV screen
Projecting realities
Movies play on the TV screen
But it isn't your reality

Stuck somewhere between Sunday and infinity
In purple tabloids that make life seem bland
I harden my carapace to a sick world
I conjure a future, hopeless
When the hand of God is still tied behind his throne

Cast iron April skies **** my insides
And this town's scars have never looked worse
These thoughts are too expensive
At the bottom of a bottle, and the ashes I flick
I hope to be born again a Phoenix
But the coping is just a trick
Distractions are a fix, nothing ever gets fixed

And I was having this conversation with myself last week
And next
But it's hard to talk yourself down, when yourself gets the best of you and perpetuates this mess
I am sticks and stones, no use for bones, when your words mean nothing, and you find yourself alone

Even though you're not mine I never want to look at another skyline without you by my side
Sunsets with silhouettes of big trees or city lights or the milky way
What is it that I need to say
Or should I say nothing and let the universe have its way

You give me your time of day here or there, but I wish for days where we can be a pair anywhere
And forgive me if I stare, but I'm just looking for a sense of clarity, here or there, in the dimples of your smile or the way you may play with your hair
Because I don't know if you love me like I do you, if you're saving me for later, or if you even have a clue

Because I looked into you by letting you look into me to see if you could find something worth saving forever
But you got scared, and now it's something we don't talk about, ever

I don't know if you're acting or reacting, but what I feel is chemical, like the way my hairs stand up on my body when I get close to you
Or when I feel so complete whenever I tell you something I tell everyone
Like you're the only one it matters to tell

But who am I to tell you who I am, you can already see part of me in you no matter how hard you push or shove
And no matter what you choose, even if you don't love me like I do you, you will always know in the back of your head that I was the guy you should have loved

But that's not how love works, it's non-sensical
Like a black hole that warps light around it
I'll be wrapped around you like obsessed photons
But you'll never let me in