I rushed to write a letter
Emotions rising inside of me
I remembered your words
The way they lifted me and saw me
And so I rushed
Pen to paper
Rolled it up
So that my words are no longer seen
Tied and bottled
I gather my strength and throw it into the sea

You were always way out of reach.
But now this sea that sits between us seems endless
The sea sweeping and returning
My words back to me with the tide
I return to read over my words once again
Foam rushing around my legs as I sit
Reading over my letter once again
Unheard unread
Can't help but rewrite a copy for myself
Because even if you never see my words
I'll know what I wrote for you
Know what these feelings are

Without a second glance,
Every step pops.
The rationale of my brain,
Every day hops,
Between the steps that I take,
Drops cling to me,
Before they evaporate.

As the steam of those drops evaporate,
I gaze up at them til they are no more,
No longer in my field of vision.
Pop
Foot down, gaze down;
At the floor beneath my foot.
My mind stops,
Waiting,
For drops that'll settle on my arm once again.

Rock the boat,
  I'm fine
Little waves won't hurt me.

Rock the boat
    I'm fine;
What are a few more,
  I can handle it.

Rock the boat
       I'm fine
   I'm fine...
I can handle it

Rocking
    rocking
   rocking
         rocking
      To and fro
                Overflow-
                      Underwater,­ can't breathe--
               Overhauled, overstretched
             Inhale
          Deep breath
I'm fine...

Be nothing
Feel nothing
Hear nothing
See nothing
Static
Cut.

The hurt will never die
Rather, just temporarily put off
Whether forgotten
Or numbed,
And in the presence
Of remembrance
And vulnerability
How could one's entity
Fathom experiencing anything
But heart ache
As vivid as yesterday,
Last month
Last year
A lifetimes worth of
Sorrow,
Betrayal,
Hurt and
Withdrawal...
How could one's soul
Forget the pain?

It's been seven years
Of mostly sad poems
Filled with my darkness and fears
And sprinkle a little
Happy energy
All spun together
Into this poetry account

It's been seven years
Taken me seven years
To acknowledge the fun I have
Writing poetry
Reading poetry
Processing poetry
I'm happy
Thankful for this platform
Thank you Eliot York :)

Angry distasteful stare
Eyes squinted, affronted glare
Dismissive
In all her care, uncaring
Unwanting of any responsibility
Associated with falsehood
'You're unreasonable'
Emanates without being spoken

How can you begin to even think for yourself
Think of the validity of your perspective
When you're caught overwhelmed and mocked
Belittled in what you think is fair
And I'm stuck with that stare
And you without a care