I have to find something to do with my hands
Even when my mind grows tired and bored
Even if it means playing the same old games
As long as my fingers are floored

I know you haven’t dealt with mental illnesses throughout your life
You don’t know how to explain or control them
I know you don’t know how to explain or control me

You don’t understand how to react when I say I have anxiety
You don’t understand it isn’t easy for everyone to be exactly like you
You don’t understand that the worst response is ‘Get over it.’
You don’t understand what’s happening
But I forgive you

I know you haven’t done your research
You don’t really care to know more
I know you don’t really care to know more about me

You don’t understand what it’s like to want to die
You’ve never undergone depression; you only know to get past things without something weighing you down
You don’t understand that I can’t simply suppress depression when it rears it’s ugly head
You don’t understand that I need to be alone sometimes
But I forgive you, always

I know you’re scared because you’re used to having control
I know your life shatters with every Emergency Room visit
I know your life shatters with my every visit

You don’t understand why I do the things I do
You don’t understand the things I’ve done in the past
You don’t understand why I lock myself in my room
You don’t understand why I stop talking to you
But I forgive you, continuously

I know you are worried about me
I know you regret not knowing
But I bet you don’t regret not knowing me

Close your eyes
Read my lips
Love me but
Don't touch my hips
Jump with me without believing
Come back just as you're leaving

Sometimes I want to **** myself
Sometimes I stay up way too late
Sometimes I dream of you
But sometimes I dream I'm drowning too

I'll love you when you don't
I'll love you, head to toe
I will love your very soul
Every fiber of your being, every evening when it's cold
I'll warm your bones
Will deflect the sticks and stones
Because I never want you to be alone
Take away all the bullet holes
Take your scars, make them my own
Because you are my home
I'll raise you up and make you whole
Help you be the best you you'll ever know
Just stick around, please don't go
I can help you down this bumpy road
Don't believe the bad things you've been told
And I will hold you hand as we stand when we are old
Never letting go because we'll be bold
Every single night I'll fold your hands in mine, time and time, we shall uphold
The love I shared with you, dared to let it shine through, break the mold
If I had to sell a part of me for a life I can see with you then I'm sold
Let's run away, let go of the loneliness thrumming through our bones
Never lead astray, kept in the zone
Just keep listening to my silly poem
As we roam

Would you fight for me
As I went swimming in the darkest sea
Would you know what to do
When there's no chance of rescue
Would you remember what you heard
When I'm drowning, choking on my words
Would you drink in the morning dew
When there's nothing left for you
Would you lay down by my side
And stare up at the bright, blue sky
Would you visit rain or shine
And bring flowers to my shrine
Would you sing me back to sleep
With the very tears you weep
Would you please remind me when
You screamed, 'God, let me in!'
Would you remember me
Locking the door, counting to three
Would you please explain why you cried
When you saw the bathtub, kitchen knife, and I
Would you take the knife out of my hands
And drag me to dry land
Would you please hold me tight
And stay the entire night
Would you remember all the 'I love you's'
And all of the 'I love you too's'
Would you kiss the dirt above my head
Because, my dear, I'm sorry, I'm dead

Her stomach hurts with a stabbing pain
Every day, again and again
No matter what she eats, she throws right up
And her boyfriend wishes it would stop

The doctors only give her pills
They use her as a money mill
He did his research day and night
Each growing day gave him a fright

Her pain grew to volumes she hadn’t ever had
Even to the point where she couldn’t even stand
He held her every day, he held her every night
But nothing in his power, nothing in his might

Could ever, ever help her
And he needed the doctors to learn
That if they didn’t help her, she’d be sitting in an urn
He never wanted that to happen because she’d never ever earned

That which was so deserving, only doing good
The only bad thing ever she’d done, as he had understood
Was break up with somebody, and that was all
So what was this, was this somebody’s call?

And so she’s slowly dying and the doctors do not know
They refuse to give her surgery, they refuse to diagnose
She cries of frustration and she cries out in pain
Every single night, again and again