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Keshia21lb Jul 2020
Last night I had a dream,
We were walking hand in hand,
On a deserted island beach,
Over endless miles of sand,
The moon was shining bright,
You looked over at me and smiled,
Your eyes so full of passion,
Our thoughts both running wild,
We laid down and held each other,
So close but never enough,
The tides came in and nearly covered us,
As we made pure and beautiful love,
I had never known so much beauty,
As your skin in the pale moon light,
Every moment so intense and new,
On this warm, dark and blissful night.
But as the sun rose the next morning,
You disappeared and left me alone,
I’m still on that deserted island,
Come back and bring me homeust for a moment or two......
Close your eyes and come with me,
Was it just a dream?
Can you see what I see?
Us two?Were we really together?
It's been a long time now,
Your face,Your beautiful brown eyes,
Your long flowing dark hair,The look,
That all consuming powerful look..........
Of love,I remember,Each time you looked into my eyes,You took my breath away,
I can still see the sideways glance,
I noticed,I always noticed you know,
Even before we got together,We met halfway,
Now I understand... I heard the song too,
"Can you still love me when you can't see me any more?
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
Another night without you
Feeling all alone
I'm sitting here on my bed
Waiting for your call

This need to hear from you
Those words that makes me smile
Those words I hold so truly
Deep within my heart

Your voice I long to hear
So I can sleep tonight
The softness of your whispers
That makes me so alive

So gentle and so soothing
I long to hear you say
That you love me more and more
Every passing day

It's hard to be without you
I need you by my side
To hold you through this night
And kiss your lips good-night

I can't wait till sunrise
To begin a bran new day
I'm feeling lost and empty
Missing you this way

But somehow I feel comfot
Knowing you're in me
I lay my hand above my heart
And feel you so deep in

I'll try to go to sleep now
Although, this night isn't right
I need you to be here
To kiss your lips good-night
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
trying to escape, tried so many different ways
yet still, minute by minute, day by day
stuck in my anxieties, have thoughts
yet nothing to say

damage has been done that i cant reverse
this anxiety is more than a problem, its a curse
always worried not to upset or say something wrong
always uncomfortable, not one tamed thought
the edge is always near, always on guard
knowing normality is to far

watching the laughter and fun but never truly involved
as soon as i start its like my mind has a wall
all negatives come flooding threw taking my air flow
in and out my anxieties grow
what are they thinking? what do i do?
Am i fitting in? not knowing how to be me, true

some days i think i am changing, getting better
being louder, more thoughts being said. Not so tender
one person, one thing can bring me right back
its like i was seeing then lost the track
like i was running, now i am just in place
i was winning, then slowing down, lost the race
the light at the end of the tunnel was so bright
everything was feeling good, i was feeling right

then the clouds cover me, swallow me inside
there i sit, looking down on what i could be
that rain you feel, tears to all my cries
crying out for someone, something to save me from all these edges
loud in my head yet quiet to the ears of all present
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
Sweetheart, have you ever thought about how beautiful our relationship is?

I wonder if it is possible for couples to be like us
So open to each other
Having nothing to hide
Honest
No fear but only respect for each other
Accepting unconditionally
Loving without a break
Anger that vanishes in a kiss, sometimes in just a touch
Expressing love even when there is no understanding
Trust to the core
Enjoying the togetherness
Encouraging the uniqueness
Desiring to live long together
So playful
So naughty
So cute
So loving
So caring
So romantic
Never I
Always US.

Maybe it's because of the path our relationship had taken
Genuine affection drew us to each other
We respected each other
Friendship took over and made our bond stronger
We loved each other's company,
Had no expectations from each other
Our respect and friendship paved way to trust
Trust made us share our secrets, our real selves
By sharing, we exchanged our hearts, our lives
And our love
And God blessed and approved our love
Because He had made us for each other.

Our love is a mixture of all relationships... which makes us so unique.

Darling, we are so beautiful!
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
My mind racing in confusion,
so scared to speak a word.
My mouth starts to move,
but a word was unheard.
My heart racing so fast,
love comes to mind,
tears in my heart
that couldn't begin to speak the pain,
but every time I see you,
I remember that sweet kiss you put upon my face.
A love that never begins to fade away
'cause my heart calls out your name,
repeating the pain I caused you every day,
but my desire is to love you - til death do us part,
but that same question still remains in my heart.
Even though you are gone, I can't let you go.
I have so many things I want to prove to you.
I'm not trying to hide myself in tears,
but I only had a glimpse of what we could be
I'm sorry I didn't show you my love,
but I'm not ready to travel or give up.
I need you by my side
so you again can be mine.
I want you to grow old along with me;
the best is yet to be,
so bless the memories within your heart.
Please don't forget about them and tear them apart.I'm sorry I hurt you; I know now I was wrong,Saying you loved me, with that look in your eye.
I wish I could say it was a cold-hearted lie.
I know that you love me, I know that you care,
But the rage inside you slowly flared.
I admit I've made mistakes, overstepping the boundaries,
Which made me look fake.
I always said I would never do the things I did,
And I know that's why it's so hard for you to forgive.
So many times we've said that we'd try,
Just to turn around and make each other cry.
Remember how it was when we first started out?
We fell so hard, maybe fell in love too soon.
At one point you'd notice ONLY me in the room.
We both did things we can't undo;
Now it seems our relationship is headed for doom,
And not that long ago, I was EVERYTHING to you.
Now you're looking for other things to "do."
I admit my mistakes, an take full responsibility
I am still paying for what I have done,
So why is it like this? Why can't we even talk?
You call me names and act like you don't care,
All a while, our love for each other is still there.
I never meant to hurt you or cause you any pain,
I know neither of us want to go through this same old stuff again.
I owe you so much, and I have so much to prove to you,
But you continue to do things you wouldn't want me to do.
We always have these tears to cry,
And are left with all these wondering questions of why?
Why can't we get past the past? Do You think I expect too much too fast,
don't you want to become whole at last?
Why won't you at least try to believe me, instead of pushing me further away?
I have these emotions, I wish you could see,
Sometimes I get really upset, 'cause I feel you don't understand me
Will you ever  touch me? Show me the love that I ONCE knew?
The love that we both grew,
When will you see? I'm starting to feel like I don't exist anymore?
When can we go back to how it was before? Will we go back?
Will we still hurt if we heal? Or by that time, will we still feel?
My dream of US does not look like it's coming true.
All I feel is sad and blue,
And I know you're looking for other things to "do."
You're sick of me and want something else
but remember, we all stumble.
Every one of us do wrong,
so will you give me your hand,
and help me through this too?
I know you're still hurt, and I'm sorry for that too.
Maybe one day you'll realize it's true.
It's coming,
coming from my heart to you.'
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
Dear sunset, read this and feel bliss. I want to feel that with you, I want to see you grow old , I want to have ppl tell love stories of us, I want to laugh silly with you. I want your head on my shoulder as we sit on a park bench and reminisce about stories from our childhood, our future plans and our fears and our hopes.

Flowers and trees, sunrise and sunset, downpour and shine, laughs and smiles, giggles and tears of joy, bliss and lonely days, risks and fears, dreams and fantasies, aspirations and plans, photographs and memories, notes and little sweet nothings.

Joy’s in bed, scrumptious dinners, and a night of talking with sweet tender massages. I wish to come home and make you my refuge, my escape, my haven and my comforter. I want to prepare breakfast for you, I long for us to have a romantic dinner. Let us travel the world, let us explore places together, in the process get to know more about each other.

Let us start a friendship and let us make memories. I will open myself up and allow me to enter your life as you enter mine. Cherish the company of your children as we usher in a harmonious blending of families and relationships. Be honest with me for I will be honest with you. Be ready to accept me for what I am as a human being and I promise to be understanding. Let us play this game called love where we will be winners and only adversaries and trials will lose.

I have been waiting a long time for you. I aspire for you to be my inspiration and the giver of giggles and giddiness. I am overflowing with love and affection and I aspire to spend all my waking days with you. Be my girl, my woman, my friend, my partner and my soul mate. Come into my life, you are more than welcome. I want to feel your presence, to have the warmth of your embrace, the tenderness of your kiss, and I wish to be the recipient of your love and care. Kiss this frog, unleash my heart, allow our heartbeats to append and collaborate true love.
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
Desire ......Your Touch

I want to feel
the heat of your hands on my skin....
I want to close my eyes and loose
myself in the essence of your touch...
I need this.
I... ache for this...
With winter's end my
entire soul unthawed too...
Now every inch of me
aches... with need...
for you...
So far away
yet so near...
I need to feel your warm breath
whisper in my ear
I want to wake up to
your body smothering mine
as you cover every inch of me
with the heat of your tongue
I want to yeild to you
Submit to you
Give in to you
Commit ...Carnal Sins with you
Between us...
Nothing is Taboo...
I swear...
I've never been so hungry
As I desire every morsel
of your being
I want to taste
your sweet N Salty goodness
Till I'm addicted to your flavor...
I want to be filled... completely
By your lips and strength
Of you...All of you oh Cheryl. I will

Surrender... Everything
Until I am breathless
Yet neveer empty...

As my Desire for you
Never wanes ...
ALways desiring you
Always... dreaming of you
Knowing That my thirst
will not be quenched
Until you come to me...
Until you come and get
what has always...
been yours...
How I
Desire.... Your Touch
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
You're the one I think about
Every time I breathe

You're the one I dream about
When I day dream

And every time I think of you
My heart skips a beat or two

And I can't believe I get to say
You're mine

When I think of you
I think of happiness

And when I see you
My heart is filled with it

My dreams have finally come true
And, babe, I owe it all to you

Still I can't believe
You are truly mine

Please say you'll stay with me
Forever and ever!

Please tell me
You're glad to say I'm yours!

'Cuz before I couldn't make it through
And now I can because of you

And I just want to let you know
How much you mean to me!

'Cuz I am yours and you are mine
We'll be together for all of time!

And still I'm glad to say
You're mine.
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
First sight of the full moon I was struck by its coldness and moved by the Moon's brighter side;
I tried to sleep but a light shone brilliantly through my window pane.
Not a thing, just perhaps the lights of an airplane ready to descend and land.
Still mot able to sleep, close the blind to no longer see;
That brightness in the night kept me awake. Again peeking out my window I feel the cold of winter.
Yet, not at a distant to reach I'm transfixed by the Moon's brilliance staring down at me.
Stillness, glumly and chilled eye to eye, both the moon and I touching the each from the night's sky.
Not a blinking star in the sky; Universe big and wide only the Moon and I together know why.
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
As an innocent child, heaven was in the sky
I looked to the brilliant stars as they twinkled
I gazed at a full moon with awesome delight
A rainbow was magic, a prism of many colors
The beauty of fluffy white clouds was alluring
Even raindrops falling brought me such joy
The sun with all it's warm rays were soothing
Yes, to me this was pure and sweet heaven
Then there was nature and all is creatures
The joy of watching birds fly across the sky
I wanted to fly high like the dancing butterflies
From flower to flower the bees were having fun
High upon the trees I heard wonderful songs
Squirrels playing, birds chirping, leaves rustling
Yes, to me this was pure and sweet heaven
As I grew older I discovered heaven in another way
I didn't have to look high to the shimmering stars
I saw the sweet sparkle in her beautiful blue eyes
The warmth of her sweet lips as soothing at the sun
Yes, I learned to fly, but not with wings of doves
Her kisses set me flying like magic into the wind
Her embrace was graceful as dancing butterflies
And when she says she loves me with all her heart
I know it will feel like the rainbows in the sky so beautiful
Yes, to me this was pure and sweet heaven
Yes, I know that this is merely heaven on earth
I believe in another heaven where angels sing
I believe in God who gave us all this beauty
But I must not forget that heaven is within me
I can feel, touch, taste, and yes, even love
So if anyone ever ask me "Which way is heaven?"
I simply will say "Heaven is in my loves eyes
In her eyes I found heaven in 4 days
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
"To know that I miss you so much when you leave; to know that I need you like the air that I breathe. To know that I want you with a passion so blind, is to know that I love you — with no doubt in my mind"I never fully realized what it meant to hurt (to truly hurt) until I wanted nothing but you to such a great extent, only to have no other choice but to convince myself that I don't.empty fields and soaring clouds. In city lights and passing cars, on winding roads and wishing stars. I wonder where you could be now, for years I've not said your name out loud.  — time has passed for you and I. But I have learnt to live without, I do not mind — I still love you anyhow.""I missed you for too long, in too many ways, that it became just another part of me; engraved deeper into my heart with the passing of time. I would wake up, stretch, breathe, and miss you. They told me to let it go, to let you go, and I would say: You cannot simply will your heart to stop beating, that no matter how long you hold your breath for, you cannot hold it forever, and I could only stop missing you if I stopped being myself entirelyForgive me if I stumble and fall for I know not how to love too well I am clumsy and my words do not form as I wish so let me kiss you instead and let my lips paint for you all the pictures that my clumsy heart cannot.""I would love to say that you make me weak in the knees, but to be quite upfront and completely truthful, you make my body forget it has knees at all."Meet me at midnight in the forest of my dreams. We'll make a fire and count the stars that shimmer above the trees.
Keshia21lb Nov 2020
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like ****
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind
Then maybe I'd be able to share
The things that I can't make sense
After all a is no place to be!!!!!!!!!
It's not for the weak minded as well.
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
When the rain is falling
and the night is heavy
and the blankets arent enough to keep you warm
ill pull you closer
and hug you tighter and
whisper words to remind you
I am forever yours

when youre sick with fever
or sick with sadness
or disappointment flourishes your veins
i will treat you
be so sweet to you
and kiss away your pain

when your hunger
and lust for life
washes down the drain
i’ll run a bath and fill it up
and soak with you
in all that you have lost
and fill you up again

when your eyes are drifting
sailing and shifting
and youre thinking somewhere else
I’ll find a plane
and by the tickets
and we’ll fly out with no return

when you think im fading
and your pencil has erased me
and your trying to ‘do this well’
Ill pull you in and kiss your cheek
and remind you darling
I am yours to keep
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
I loved you. Oh God, did I ever love you.

And the worst part is that you never knew. And you will never know.

When we met, the idea of how tremendous an impact you would have never crossed my mind. You were just a friend of the girls I was friends with, and I knew they adored you. So, on that crisp October day after I nonchalantly added you on Facebook, and after you private messaged me swiftly following said request, I allowed myself to adore you. Without hesitation or a second thought.

We both knew what we were getting into. And now after 3 months later, I’m sitting here writing this because I failed—the inevitable price of taking a leap of faith. It’s been a 5 1/2 days since our lips last touch  I knew something was already up, after 3 days I had 4 text  an one phone call that whole time then u send me a video  in this video  I saw my heart drop out your hand and on your floor board , my stomach and heart sank.
I wish I hadn’t begged you. I wish I had perfectly re-enacted the breakup I imagined in my head (itself a huge red flag). I wanted to be graceful; you would tell me it was over and I’d nod my head and smile and tell you “OK.” But breakups and emotions are unpredictable. So I begged. Over and over. The proud lioness cried into your chest, and I felt your heavy tears land on my head.
I shut the world out that night and  I promised myself that I’d allow myself to grieve and move on as quickly as I could. But that didn’t happen. I messaged you a few hours and begged you again for a second chance. But I still haven’t heard from you.
A small candle burns bright with false hope, but I can’t keep feeding the hope that you will return. So I’m here to say: that’s it. Enough. No more.
“Maybe one day,” a mutual friend said. Maybe it won’t work out now, but in the future, when we’re in better places and are better for each other. But I won’t hold my breath.So if you’re reading this, please know that I will be OK. I hope, if our stars ever align again, that we meet in the highest of spirits and that we can hear each other laugh again, because to me, you have and always will be worth it.
Keshia21lb Oct 2020
I have a wall you cannot see

Because its deep inside of me.

It blocks my heart on every side

And helps emotions there to hide.

You cant reach in,

I cant reach out,

You wonder what its all about.

The wall i built that you cant see

Results from insecurity.

Each time my tender heart was hurt

The scars within grew worse and worse.

So stone by stone,

I built a wall,

That now so thick it will not fall.

Please understand that its not you-

Continue trying to break through.

I want so much to show myself

And love from you will really help.

So bit by bit,

Chip at my wall,

Till stone by stone it starts to fall.

I know the process will be slow-

Its never easy to let go

Of hurts and failures long ingrained,

Upon one's heart from years of pain.

I'm so afraid

To let you in;

I know I might get hurt again.

I try so hard to break the wall,

But seem to get nowhere at all.

For stone upon each stone I've stacked,

And left between them not a crack.

The only way

To make it fall is imperfections in the wall.

I did the best I could to build

A perfect wall, but there are still

A few small flaws, which are the key

To breaking through the wall to me.

Please use each flaw

To cause a crack

To knock a stone off the stack.

For just as stone by stone was laid

With every hurt and every pain,

So stone by stone the wall will break

As love replaces every ache.

Please be the one

Who cares enough

To find the flaws, no matter what.
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
Looking into your eyes I see what the world can not I see the things that you try to hide behind that graceful smile that you carry there's a pain that's hidden you hope by smiling that your covering it up 

You smile when you want to cry ,you shut everybody out when you think no ones listening ,no one hears the screams and the cries that you cry at night the sad sobs ,the tears that flow so freely down your face 

Seeing all of this only makes me love you more ,your flaws and imperfections captures my soul ,it engages my heart and I want to know more,I look in your eyes seeing this story that you've hidden from the world ,but I finally see it 

I see you ,your flaws and in all love you more and more knowing your imperfect ,I see you for you I see what the world can not I see right through you and only want to love you through it all
Her love is true
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
I think of you in the morning
before the sun rises,
when in the still of the darkness
my heart feels your presence.
Your love, your tenderness,
your slow rhythmic breathing as you sleep,
and I am at peace.

I think of you when the first rays of sunlight
spill like a waterfall between the blinds
and settle in my eyes.
I reach my hand, my foot, any body part will do,
to touch you and breathe you in.
It feeds my heart, my soul, my spirit,
and I am at peace.

I think of you at noon when the sun is at its highest,
when the heat warms my skin
and causes my eyes to close with sheer pleasure.
Thoughts of you surround me, envelop me, overpower me.
Images of you swirl around like a funnel cloud,
******* into its grasp all that it touches,
and I am at peace.

I think of you when the sun is setting
and its final rays of light begin to fade.
I can hear your voice, deep, soft, and slow in my head--
words of beauty, joy, friendship, and everlasting love.
My heart begins to sing a love song so sweet and so gentle.
I cannot wait to share my day with you and yours with me.
And I am at peace.

I think of you when the sun has set and the stillness of the moon
is displaying one of its many wondrous phases.
Thoughts of your smile, your laugh, and your eyes
create a feeling that is impossible to express with just words.
The need to touch you, to feel you, to drink you in
is almost too much to hold inside.
Anticipation of you is the greatest gift.
I am at
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
I think of you in the morning
before the sun rises,
when in the still of the darkness
my heart feels your presence.
Your love, your tenderness,
your slow rhythmic breathing as you sleep,
and I am at peace.

I think of you when the first rays of sunlight
spill like a waterfall between the blinds
and settle in my eyes.
I reach my hand, my foot, any body part will do,
to touch you and breathe you in.
It feeds my heart, my soul, my spirit,
and I am at peace.

I think of you at noon when the sun is at its highest,
when the heat warms my skin
and causes my eyes to close with sheer pleasure.
Thoughts of you surround me, envelop me, overpower me.
Images of you swirl around like a funnel cloud,
******* into its grasp all that it touches,
and I am at peace.

I think of you when the sun is setting
and its final rays of light begin to fade.
I can hear your voice, deep, soft, and slow in my head--
words of beauty, joy, friendship, and everlasting love.
My heart begins to sing a love song so sweet and so gentle.
I cannot wait to share my day with you and yours with me.
And I am at peace.

I think of you when the sun has set and the stillness of the moon
is displaying one of its many wondrous phases.
Thoughts of your smile, your laugh, and your eyes
create a feeling that is impossible to express with just words.
The need to touch you, to feel you, to drink you in
is almost too much to hold inside.
Anticipation of you is the greatest gift.
I am at peace
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
You may see me struggle,
but you won't see me fall.
Regardless if I'm weak or not,
I'm going to stand tall.
Everyone says life is easy,
but truly living it is not.
Times get hard,
people struggle
and constantly get put on the spot.
I'm going to wear the biggest smile,
even though I want to cry.
I'm going to fight to live,
even though I'm destined to die.
And even though it's hard
and I may struggle through it all,
you may see me struggle...
but you will NEVER see me fall.
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
I'm writing this message cause I feel really bad, thinking about the way I hurt you makes me really sad.

I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused you and I regret the things I've done. I've lost the girl I've spent years trying to find  it's rare and unique all of the same time and it was cause of the things I've done.

Baby I feel so bad right now, cause I tore your world apart, and now all I can think about is how I broke your heart.

These tears that run down my cheek are filled with sadness and hurt, because I loved you so much and now I know that it will never work :( I messed up and now I see that you mean the absolute world to me.

I know sorry's not enough because I'm such a ***** up.. But for whatever its worth I wanted to say, that you cross my mind every single day...

The thought of you makes me smile, and I know our love was real, so I'm writing you this letter so that you know how I truly feel.

What I really want to say is that I'm sorry, I know that you didn't deserve to be hurt like that, and I know that you will find someone who will love you and treat you right, they will
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
Love can't be described.
It has no shape, it has no form.
Love is not an object.
Love does not conform.

Love enters our lives
The moment we are born.
From the cradle to the grave,
Love's in everyone.

Love burns like a candle
That sometimes flickers but never dies.
Love may be invisible,
Although it's right before your eyes,

Love can leave you empty,
Love can make you whole.
Love can make or break you,
Love is in your soul.

Love is in your heart,
Love is in your mind.
Love doesn't discriminate,
Love is always blind.

Love is universal,
It encompasses the globe.
No matter where you are,
Love has a language all its own.

Love is all around you.
There's plenty of love to spare.
You cannot see or touch it,
But love is everywhere.

Love's the greatest power,
And yet it is so small.
Love's a gift from God
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
Love is not wanting to go anywhere without her.
Love is not caring what other people think about
the two of you. Love is when you feel depressed
and sickly when you’re not with her. You feel like
your life has no meaning or purpose without her.
And that if she wasn’t holding your hand you
would float away to heaven from where she
came. Love is caring for her physically and
emotionally. It’s telling her everyday, anytime,
anywhere, anyhow, for no just reason that you
love her. Love is telling her u want to spend the
rest of your life with her. Love is wanting to
marry her even tho ya’ll haven’t been dating that
long. That you would do anything and everything
for her. It’s the feeling that you would give up
everything just to see her smile or look into her
beautiful eyes or hear her soft, soothing voice.
Love is pure happiness. Love is the feeling you
get when all you have to do is think of her and it
brings a smile to your face and a yourning to
your heart. Love is not being able to think about
nething but her. Love is having the sweetest
dreams about her and waking up with a smile on
ur face. Love is an overwelming feeling of pure
bliss when the 2 of u kiss. Love is wanting to hold
her in ur arms till the end of time. Love is
wishing ur time with her never ends, that your
lips would be locked together forever, that she’d
be in ur arms till the end of time, that u could
cuddle with her for all of eternity. Love is being
helplessy and deeply in love with her and
knowing your love for her and your feelings for
her will never change/end. Love is the world, the
world is love, and she is the world to me…
Love is her saying all ur dream can come to pass.
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
Why does it hurt when it rains.
How do you see through the fog of pain. Well the rain forever stay will it ever go away from the time you looked my way I was lost in a daze we rode the worst storm I've ever been through we got lost in that storm and we lost our faith in one another with no light to guide our way back to each other the fog lifted up we found each other so u let me believe in a something that was real and true just to stand there and let the storm rip out my heart all over again for a drug that wont last a night you know what I should not drop my standards just for you to get high and I dont think u know what real love is it's given in when you know what u deserve I truly love  you and you have just made me feel like I was nothing but a passing through the fog of pain and suffering with no air to fill my lungs cuz u have taken everything even my breath so I will walk away from  you through the fog of pain and suffering to  myself alone with my head high an try each an everyday to remember I was just another person walking around lost  in the fog of pain and suffering. I'll definitely never forget an forgive you for everything from our past an present. You lost me the moment the drug was put before me 2 know for sure it will never work with you there will never be anything put before the drug 💉 you have to see it from my point of view it killed us once it will **** us again and again to want to put us through the pain again is selfish of u have u not put me through enough have I not given u enough have I not given up enough for you y do I keep falling for u after everything what changed I was just another day another time I can't expect u to understand how u make feel how u have ****** my life up so bad. I loved you with everything in me I did not give up on us and the ****** up thing with you is that you did u killed us not just that but you gave up on us u ****** with my heart knowing that you would never give it up u knew you would never change not even for me for us for a real chance at love u we have become nothing more than a passing storm the worst of my life and I wont ever forget that real to the bone pain my heart doesn't even want to beat to breathe I cant find my rhythm its no point in trying to get air when every time I try to breath I scream in pain of a lost dream come true I've got to for get u I have to walk away from the you I once loved cuz that you was never real or true **** the u that's before me **** ur fake *** story's to try and make me forgive you knowing that u say that Now once you got what u wanted was it worth it all was it everything u wanted an more would u do it over again break my heart once more for what nothing more then just what u want what about what I want r need from you does it hurt knowing my feeling didn't even matter did u know that my heart was breaking every time I gave you what u asked for did you even see the pain in my eyes the need to leave everything I am in your hands and did you even know what it did to me every time for me just say okay an let it go but truly broken on the inside an wishing you would be able to make it right but once again you have left me without a breath to take so I welcome the pain with no air an no hope for ever day dreaming of a life with you I once prayed that you would be able to look at the past an see you want something better something else worth living for something that is real an true something like me an you then again it was just another day dream
And prays don't ever come true just like me. so tell me what you think of it  I have to love myself more since I'll seem to be the only one who really knows the meaning
Picking yourself up  starts with knowing and loving yourself
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out."You are the poem I never knew how to write and this life is the story I have always wanted to tell tried to stop loving you so I built walls around my heart and found other names to whisper in the night but you carved yourself into my veins even if you meant to or not and sometimes I wonder if you remember the way we looked at each other or maybe you forgot all
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
Underneath the moonlit sky, beneath a blanket of stars,
I lay with you in a land afar.
It's so quiet; all I can hear
is my breath I vaguely take with you so near.
You have my body bound.
I'm lost in your presence, where I can't be found.
You kiss my neck; it feels so nice.
You have me feeling so enticed.   
As my body emerges,
it yearns and it urges
to feel your embrace
and to taste your taste.
As you put it in,
a little smile grins.
Should I whisper, faster?
Or should I scream for my Master?
You're pulling my hair,
I feel, as if I were floating on air.
As I tremble and begin to shake,
you quiver and quake.
Underneath the moonlit sky, beneath a blanket of stars,
I'm yours, wherever you are.

A touch of skin soft and slippery,
With the hint of hint of sweat.
We fought our resistance beneath the cool sheets,
As the wind flowed from the window above us.
Eyes met briefly and begged for the chance,
To abandon all of our uncertainties.
You began your work on my lips,
Probing gently as if drawing ***,
From a deep well of longing and need.
Then heated tongues met in the midst,
Of hot and quickening breath.
And greedily we drank the wine of our lusts.
Then intoxicated with those spirits,
Our clothes found resting place on the floor.
Piece by piece,
Until there were no hiding places,
For the two glistening and wanting bodies.
Hunger revealed in this hot moment.
Then skin meshed with skin,
As the floor became the stage.
You moved atop of me easily,
And lowered yourself gently.
Kissing me as I was filled with you.
As a gasp broke the kiss,
Your hands stroked the stray strands,
Away from my forehead, then became entangled.
Our slow rhythm gave way,
To urgent and demanding thrusts of passion,
As I arched my body for your comfort,
And you threw me into ecstasy,
With the strength of your blows.
You left me screaming and soaked,
In oblivion again and again,
As you growled my name from the back of your throat,
And our bodies both demanded more,
Each giving to the other,
High on the fluids of foreign substance.
I grasped, then released you,
Grasped then released you,
In effort to relieve you of your control.
The taste of your skin between my lips,
Was like no other.
To hear your cry of mercy,
When my teeth met your warm skin,
Was more breathtaking than you knew.
Yet I still released the control to you.
As you wound your hands in my hair,
And pulled until the flesh on my neck was taut,
You moved with one final and breaking blow,
Forcing our way to the peaks of bliss,
Leaving our screams to echo on like battle cries.
I welcomed the weight of you to crush me,
As you collapsed on top of me,
Still hot and burning,
And I glowing like an ember,
Casting light so u will find a way back  again
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
Lovely how the moon shines
A glaze before my very eyes
Like frosting on a cake supreme
The sheen makes my spirits fly
A dessert to feed the hungry soul
A reflection always filled with love
The velvet skies draped in a glow
A gift from the gods up above
What greater joy than to share it
As your eyes enjoy the celestial beams
A love we both share transcends
Beyond our window it seems
Beneath the heavens We reside
mere Humans, and mortal souls
The moon and stars ever present
As velvet darkness Unfolds
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
The truth

The truth
Will not hide.

And nor will it take side.
The truth cannot be divide into lies.
By the way,
the truth is a great surprise.

And it will open up your eyes
To either side; at the same time,
wil make you and I,
knowledgeable and real wise.

Also,
the truth will make and set you free.
It will even have you to experience happiness, joy and jubilee.

And not only that, but it will
Make you see also, the things,
that we don't wants to see, hear or like
Sometimes the truth makes you or I,
To take a hike.

The truth itself can be a whole lot of fun;
at times, it can make you; or I,
feel sad; or even mad,
but at the end of the day,
The truth only comes to its part from the heart, to help you, relief you and also to help set you free, flee and to grow up, be mature and to help you rise up; wise up, and definitely to help build you up from your weakness ; to bring you to your highest and strongest point in life; also to take you away from your grief and your strife and to get a life with meanings and not with emptiness.

And so,
when it's all said and done,
the truth, who is God,
MR.LOVE HIMSELF, is only here for the betterment of us all; so let us give a round of applause to and for the truth; most of all, let us embrace the truth when it comes forward with love, humbleness and with a good understanding that it is here to bless us, spare us and not to stress us;
or to lessen, but to infuse us with
a blessing; also with a lesson,
all at the same time.

Praise Love the God; the Goddess of Love with love always n forevermore.
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
Blood may be shed and bones may be broken
but the love from him is something unspoken
he cradle us in the pits of his *****, shielding us from the mistakes we have forged.
couped over, despair dripping from thine body like a moist rag,
begging him to cleanse thine soul of all immoral acts.
with the palm of his hand he placed it on my back,
releaving me of my wrong doings, for I know no better.
I am an infant to the acts of man's words,
decived by the lavish scenery of exotic entities.
I worship no other, then he himself
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
I’m scared of not missing you anymore, I’m scared to live that day.
I’m scared my mind will erase the memory of the day you went away.
I put a lot of trust in you, you said that you were different.
Your intellect was beyond the hood, but I guess not far enough to miss it.

I guess I should’ve told you that I’m really sensitive, though I try to act like I don’t mind, that night I still relive.
I’m ashamed because I know I love you way more than you like me,
and that I cry for you when you’re not here so much that I can’t see.

This headache just won’t go away its been here since you left.
Though loud yet meek, though screaming yet bleak, this loss truly feels like death.
I pray you don’t feel these words are a stretch because we’ve shared limited time,
or that I’m completely insane for tatting your name, assuring I’ve lost my mind.

Well, the truth is that you are for me, and I’ve known it since we met.
Yeah, we fought, loved, broken up, but there’s something you just have to get.
I don’t want anyone else baby doll, I don’t want another man.
I’ll build you up and give you my heart to cradle in your hand.

I admit I am attached baby, and dangerously its true.
That I want to offer my body and soul as a sacrifice to you.
I pray you never leave my side though physical I can take,
but mentally please stay awhile and never leave this place.

365 days is the longest fight I feel I’ve already been beat.
That waiting is indeed the hardest game and I’ve just succumbed to defeat.
Terell aka my babe that definitely is what you are.
Though unspoken yet chanted, and rough yet romantic, this love was written in the stars.

I don’t know what you feel inside, or if this load you can carry.
If you'll settle down and marry.
I feel we’ll be getting to know each other more so here than before,
so open and let me in because it’s you that I adore.

The fate of this relationship is exclusively up to you, ill be holding down my end until my biggest dream comes true-
I love you
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
My only wish
I’m scared of not missing you anymore, I’m scared to live that day.
I’m scared my mind will erase the memory of the day you went away.
I put a lot of trust in you, you said that you were different.
Your intellect was beyond the hood, but I guess not far enough to miss it.

I guess I should’ve told you that I’m really sensitive, though I try to act like I don’t mind, that night I still relive.
I’m ashamed because I know I love you way more than you like me,
and that I cry for you when you’re not here so much that I can’t see.

This headache just won’t go away its been here since you left.
Though loud yet meek, though screaming yet bleak, this loss truly feels like death.
I pray you don’t feel these words are a stretch because we’ve shared limited time,
or that I’m completely insane for tatting your name, assuring I’ve lost my mind.

Well, the truth is that you are for me, and I’ve known it since we met.
Yeah, we fought, loved, broken up, but there’s something you just have to get.
I don’t want anyone else baby doll, I don’t want another man.
I’ll build you up and give you my heart to cradle in your hand.

I admit I am attached baby, and dangerously its true.
That I want to offer my body and soul as a sacrifice to you.
I pray you never leave my side though physical I can take,
but mentally please stay awhile and never leave this place.

365 days is the longest fight I feel I’ve already been beat.
That waiting is indeed the hardest game and I’ve just succumbed to defeat.
Terell aka my babe that definitely is what you are.
Though unspoken yet chanted, and rough yet romantic, this love was written in the stars.

I don’t know what you feel inside, or if this load you can carry.
If once you’re out you’ll go buck wild or settle down and marry.
I feel we’ll be getting to know each other more so here than before,
so open and let me in because it’s you that I adore.

The fate of this relationship is exclusively up to you, ill be holding down my end until my biggest dream comes true-
I love you
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
Why  thinking.
Keshia21lb Sep 2020
Yet another sleepless night
The darkness outside
fills my mind.
Here we go again,
yet another sleepless night.

Waiting for the birds song
to help awaken the light.
I can truly feel it coming,
yet another sleepless night.

Trying so hard to shutdown
losing this never ending fight.
I know I'll never win,
yet another sleepless night.

Barely acting normal in the day
wronging people I know are right.
I think I'm going to explode.
I really hope I sleep tonight
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
Once upon a time
A boy began a rhyme
Greeted only by blight
Never glanced at the light.
Again and again he repeats the same
Thinking maybe he was to blame.
Confused through the paths he'd take
Learning to never look back for his sake.
Then a time came when
A girl appeared with this light within
Merged into my lane
I greeted her, she told me her name
Took her hand and began to walk again.
I've watched you time and time again
Laughing together even on the bad ends
Enjoying those surprises on the good bends.
This boy  telling this rhyme
Wants to ask this girl if it would be fine
If they could be together this time
Would make the earth sing and chime.
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
Your fingerprints are on my heart.

Fingerprints that teach me about caring.

Fingerprints that teach me about love.

Fingerprints that teach me about courage.

Fingerprints that teach me about hope.

Fingerprints that bring me closer to my loved ones.

Fingerprints that bring me closer to myself.

In the time I cared for you my whole life changed —

never to be the same again

All this from tiny fingerprints that touch my heart.

You will live in my heart forever – never to be forgotten.

I will always love you.

You are my child.
I have a Heavy heart tonight you are on my mind
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
You'll love me

You'll love me,
for my hair and how its smells
for my smile and my one dimple
for my hourglass figure
for my intelligence and how well I can convince you of anything
for my dark eyes and stare
for my flat feet and strong hands
for my intense personality which might make me look a bit crazy at times
for my cooking 
for my great massages which put you to bed
for my random kisses all over your face
for my hugs and how you can feel my love 
for my tom boy ways
for my love for God and my family
for my caring nature and deep passionate love
for my maturity and support
for my jealousy
for my humor
for my wiseness
for my walk
for my silly ways
for my lips so soft
for my lovely  smaker
for my ***** as well
Or maybe NOT
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
Look at the stars tonight
As we see the same light
And in that moment
It will be alright

If you miss a falling star
I'll catch it for you
Keep it in my heart
And we can share it too

Keep holding on
As life goes along
Pain is short-lived
As you are so strong

I will hold your hand
And look in your eyes
But it is only then
That our star will shine.
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
Regretting the moments I took for granted,
Moments when I was eaten by pride and hatred.
What if I had told you what I did?
Would it change my life's wheel?
I was so afraid to fall in love deeply,
For mending a broken heart will never be easy.
I have been rotting in that hell before,
And I don't want to be there anymore.
But why is my heart crying in pain?:-)                
Why do I feel that my life's turning so plain?
Should I have told you that I love you?
Should I have showed you that it's true?
I Should have not cheated
I Should have not lied to you
They say some words are better left unsaid,
Emotions should be kept till they fade.
No, scratch all the cowardice and negativity,
Because saying what you feel is the real bravery.
So what if you won't love me back?
At least there will be no what if's in my mind.
But it's too late for me to realize this fact,
'Cause now you're gone and you'll never be mine.
I lAY awake THE LAST 5 nightS,
Wishing of things I can change.
I try to convince myself,
But it's all so strange.
Is it me,
Or is it you?
Do I try,
Or are we through?
So long we've shared
Just to walk away.
But so much hurt
To want to stay.
Why does people do this,
Try to hurt the other more,
Only to watch one
Walk right out the door?
I love you so much,
Yet I push you to the point of breaking,
But why do you play with my heart
And never stop taking?
Is this the end
Or a new beginning?
Only one can guide me
When my head is spinning.
Don't push,
Don't try,
Don't stress,
Don't cry.
That is what plays
Over in my head
As I try to close my eyes
And just go to bed
Saying you loved me, with that look in your eye.
I wish I could say it was a cold-hearted lie.
I know that you love me, I know that you care,
But the rage inside you slowly flared.
I admit I've made mistakes, overstepping the boundaries,
Which made me look fake.
I always said I would never do the things I did,
And I know that's why it's so hard for you to forgive.
So many times we've said that we'd try,
Just to turn around and make each other cry.
Remember how it was when we first started out?
We fell so hard, maybe fell in love too soon.
At one point you'd notice ONLY me in the room.
We both did things we can't undo;
Now it seems our relationship is headed for doom,
And not that long ago, I was EVERYTHING to you.
Now you're looking for other things to "do."
I admit my mistakes, an take full responsibility
I am still paying for what I have done,
So why is it like this? Why can't we even talk?
You call me names and act like you don't care,
All a while, our love for each other is still there.
I never meant to hurt you or cause you any pain,
I know neither of us want to go through this same old stuff again.
I owe you so much, and I have so much to prove to you,
But you continue to do things you wouldn't want me to do.
We always have these tears to cry,
And are left with all these wondering questions of why?
Why can't we get past the past? Do You think I expect too much too fast,
don't you want to become whole at last?
Why won't you at least try to believe me, instead of pushing me further away?
I have these emotions, I wish you could see,
Sometimes I get really upset, 'cause I feel you don't understand me
Will you ever  touch me? Show me the love that I ONCE knew?
The love that we both grew,
When will you see? I'm starting to feel like I don't exist anymore?
When can we go back to how it was before? Will we go back?
Will we still hurt if we heal? Or by that time, will we still feel?
My dream of US does not look like it's coming true.
All I feel is sad and blue,
And I know you're looking for other things to "do."
You're sick of me and want something else
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
My dearest love won't you please take me from my misery for every morning upon my wake I week I weep for the dreams that I keep that are Swiss the way upon my wake leaving only stated memories and heart crushing heart racing realistic feelings for these dreams that I keep are the dreams of I love her not just any lover the one it is made for so much more for every day my dreams fade away a new hunger grows a hunger to make a dream a reality to no longer let it slip away for I no longer want to feel the pain I'm watching it drift away for that makes me just a sideline lover
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
She's so Beautiful
In my head and my heart, I see her
Clear blue sky eyes,
Pools of mystic passion,
Highlighted by her soft fair skin,
So perfect, formed around the body,
That even God's envy and admire,
The smile she has is so sweet, mesmerizing, hypnotic,
So captivating you can't take your eyes of it,
Surrounded by her pure brown hair, and of course
Her voice, rings so gently though my heart,
Paints a rainbow from ear to ear.
You see her stand there,
And you feel that the world could go by,
And do nothing but stare into her eyes.
That is what I would do,
Because she's so beautiful,
More beautiful than words can fully describe.
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
Stress is eating at me every minute and second of the day, how do I cope with the horrible effects and make it go away?

I feel so tired and run down and I don't sleep, I lie in bed at night and wonder why it runs so deep.

Everyone asks why do you look so sad, do I tell them that my stress is eating me up and that I feel really bad?

Does everyone notice how I walk around in a daze, and that I have deep black bags under my eyes nowadays.

I wake up every morning feeling so hopeless, like nothing ever goes right and wondering why my life has to be such a mess.

Stress is my one worst enemy, it's taken over my mind and my  life right now
Keshia21lb Jul 2020
It started out as just a hug and grew into a kiss,
A friendship that had blossomed up to more than I could wish.
You are my shining star at night; you help me find my way.
You are my inspiration directing me each day.
See, when I fall and need a hand, you always pick me up,
And when I cry and need a friend, you're there no matter what.
I wish I were just like you: strong-hearted, brave, and sweet.
I'm glad I have a friend like you to make my life complete.
You're a very special person.
I'm glad that you're my friend,
For when I need a little advice,
You always have some to lend.
You help me when I am troubled,
Feeling down and out-
I never have to say what's wrong.
You seem to know what I'm all about.
I can always tell you my feelings
Without having you put me down.
You're the person I can turn to
When no one else is around.
I can cry on your shoulder
When things are going wrong.
You give me a smile
And help me to be strong.
You seem to understand me.
After all that we've gone through,
I only have one thing to say...
Thanks for being YOU
I don't know how to say this,
but I thank you very much
for always being there for me,
your gentle, friendly touch.
Thank you.
You helped me to get better
and stop what I regret.
You helped me through the hard times
that I can't forget.
Thank you.
You listened to my problems
in a kind and caring way,
and without you,
I may not be smiling today.
Thank you.
I trust you with my secrets
that no one has been told.
I trust you with my feelings, and I'll remember your words
until I'm grey and old.
Thank you
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
Your face is all i see when i close my eyes
Stories made up with you and me constantly on my mind.
I admit I make up fantasies all the time.
See I can see forever with you
That's why i do the things that i do
With much appreciation and gratitude
Nobody occupies my mind as much as you do
Nobody can touch my body the way you do
No other woman has loved me as openly as you do
It's you that gives me that tenacious spark that keeps me going
That unorthodox love that pulls out my creative soul
Your beautiful spirit that's easy going
Gives me the courage to go for my goals
You should know by now that you're the only woman i want
The only woman i need
The only woman i want next to me
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
by Elaine George |  
The Promise of Spring - A Fibonacci
I
Will
Kiss you
While you sleep
Lady dressed in white
And melt your cold heart  made of ice

Then
You
Will rise
Liquefied
High into the sky
And fall as raindrops from God’s eyes

To
The
Waiting
Buds below
Where now you will grow
With me - in the bloom of a rose


           ~~~
Author:  Elaine Cecelia George


* Note:  This poem is a Personification as well as a triple Fibonacci
As I lay in bed thinking about you reading the daily hello poems sent to us. The link to this poem. That  Instantly pulled my eye made my heart go   clenchy clench.  MY LOVE
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
The pull on my heart
Tonight
Hard to tell what
Is real
This anger I feel
is real
This will fades over time
Right
This overwhelming
Pull on my heart
Am I even worth the fight
The pull on my heart
A struggle
The pull on my heart
Keshia21lb Oct 2020
The pull on my heart
Tonight
Hard to tell what
Is real
This anger I feel
is real
This will fades over time
Right
This overwhelming
Pull on my heart
Am I even worth the fight
The pull on my heart
A struggle
The pull on my heart
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
Why is it that you can’t see

Your own beauty?

I wish I had a million words to

Describe you.

What is it that makes you

Quietly doubt my love?

I wish I had a million words to describe it.

But I don’t.

I have so few words.

And they all pale in comparison to you.

How do you describe love that came

So quickly, and so deeply?

What part of the love do you attempt to describe?

The only thing I can think of

Is the way you move against me

While you sleep. And there

Are no words for that.

That utter joy and peace

That comes with the relaxed face of the one

You love with all your heart

And trust with all your soul.

I don’t know everything

Your exsaid to you in the

Past few years

But I know it is that

You believe to be true.

And I hate to break it to you, darling.

But he was wrong.

Everyone who ever said

Something negative

About you was wrong.

So wrong.

Why do I get some

Sick pleasure from the marks

On your skin

That I put there.

They make you mine.

You say that I’m

Not a burden.

Neither are you.

You say that I’m perfect.

So are you.

You say that I’m beautiful.

As are you.

Please believe me, love.

I would do anything

To protect your heart

Because I keep it here

With mine.

While we may be apart

We will never be apart

By the heart and

The soul.

Because, sweetheart,

You’re mine.
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
Time after time
I've stood for
Who I Am
What I Am
For the first time
I've begin to
Lose the fight
To take a step
Back an put my pride
Aside an let my heart
Guild with no pride
Insight
Time after time
I told myself not to forget
Myself the war I had to fight
Just to find my path
Time after time
I felt nothing would ever be worth
Stepping aside to hide my scars
From out of nowhere
Now here you are from
Nowhere to everywhere
From war to family
Has made me change my pace
From out of hiddin to being hidden
I've never had to make the choice from time to time I wonder who I would be if I
Choose a different path maybe from now on I cant wait to see who I'll be coming with you and the boys you are worth From day to night,
From sunrise to sunset.
From your smile to your laugh.
Everything about you,
Makes me fall even more.
Every second of the day,
You never leave my mind.
From your kiss to your touch,
As soft as silk.
You're eyes are breath taking,
Every time you touch me,
I feel no fear.
Every time I see you,
I can't help but stare.
When others are in the room,
My only focus is you an the boys
I'll say it from time to time I'll never regret this path to the family worth it all
I am yours an you are mine
Keep this in mind  from time to time
Keshia21lb Aug 2020
It's all 

so much So much to do

so many expectations so many priorities

So many people 

demanding

demanding 

demanding everything from  me 

work my parents my family friends everything is too much

so much what if I slipped under the rising water and hid in the 

depths of oblivion ignorance and nothingness
Keshia21lb Nov 2020
Unspoken Words
Don’t say sorry, I want to tell her

Do what you like, I would say to her

You’re perfect, I'd confess to her

Take all the time you want and never feel bad about it, never apologize for the way you exist, especially the way you do it, which is so breathtaking I feel I might fall through the floor because I am standing on clouds

Is what I wish I could say to her.

Watching you adore the world is stunning enough for me to spend my whole life doing it
I could gaze at you gazing forever and never be satisfied that I had seen enough
Don't regret all the seconds you spent simply looking, listening, and breathing in all the beauty you could find
I do the same, and it is the reason I look at you so often
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