I envy the sun
For it gets to
See you wake up
Every morning
It gets to linger
Your skin and gets
To give you that
Radiant glow

I envy the moon
For it gets to
Watch you sleep
Every night
It gets to kiss
Your lips and
Skin goodnight
With no hesitation

I fear the radiation
Of the sun for it burns
My soul till the depths
Of its life

I fear what lies way beneath
The surface of the earth for
It may crawl and steal the
Little bit of air I have

I fear what lies deep within
The world for it may lead either
To eternal life or death

I fear what may be discovered of me...I fear.

Death knocking on my door
Waiting for me to open
But as I begin to walk towards the door
And open the door ****
A heavy though protrude my mind

To be stable?
Anyone who knows how it
Feels completely sane
To just be normal
And totally fit in?
Me neither

I know how it feels
To want to bleed your eyes out
To want to stab a knife right
Through your mind
To want to turn your flesh
Inside out.
All the thoughts that run
Through my mind have
More power over my life

But how do you find sanity
If the purest thing about you
Died years ago?
Nothing but insanity running
Right though my veins

The pain still haunts me
My heart still aches
My eyes still cry
The emptiness right
Through my soul
Left stranded with
No direction
where to go
Lost in my
Own thoughts
My whole being is
On the edge hanging
Onto a thread
Your death not
Only bruised me
But killed the bit
Of happiness and
Hope I had.

Death being the closest
I am to living
And living being the
Closest I am to death
You can electrify me
Or get inside my mind
But only the monsters
There can comprehend it

Don't leave
My world revolves
Around you
Your smile
Is my sunshine
Your voice
Is my music

Don't leave
Your presence
Is my reason
For living
Your eyes
Are my admiration

My inspiration
My reason for life
The reason I smile
Please don't leave

There's a monster under my bed
That crawls out every night
To listen to all my thoughts

He listens attentively
And stands there with nothing
But an understanding face

Not only is he a stranger
Nor a monster but my
Bestfriend and only friend

He understands me
He comforts me and
Never judges me

The monster under my bed.

There are voices in my head
That decide to
Come out every night

They control every
Subdivision in my mind
And induce all the pain

They give freedom
To all my thoughts and secrets
For them to fill my soul

They give me the strength
Throughout the night
To face all my fears

But in the morning
I'm back to the same
Fears I overcomed at night

But how could such be temporary
How can it come only at night
And just disappear like that in the morning

Dear voices in my head
Speak to me now
For I've lost all hope
In finding my true worth in life

The distance between you and me
Feels like the distance
Between heaven and hell
The distance cannot even be measured
It can only be felt
It can be only understood
By those who experience it

The distance between us
Only proves not everything is meant to be
I want to believe that forever exists
But our forever only lasted
For a couple of months
We had a limited infinity
Now left to walk with
Nothing but what used to be our "forever"

I'm afraid of being alone
For all my torture begins there
That's where all my thoughts come alive
And speak to me
Makes sense?
It doesn't to me either

They all gather around me
And begin a convention
Of my life from its very
Beginning to its present
The constant reminder of
What a failure I am

And all these thoughts
In just a matter of seconds.
As I hold my head in fear of
What my life has become
As I begin to peel my flesh off
As I begin to lay a knife near my chest

I wake up from this nightmare
But how can it be a nightmare
If its how I feel and think
All day everyday?

I live in a constant fear of what I might lose tomorrow.
The thought of waking up one day and everything I thought was worth living for is just taken away like that.

I live in a constant fear of losing who I truly am while trying to chase my happiness.
I fear that one day I might look in the mirror and not recognise who I am.