I don't know if I'm lost, or available at any cost.
But I don't know what to do.
Yes it's about her, yip the girl that tells her "LOVE ME."

What should I do?
As she lets go of one thing, she feels the need to hold on to another.
Bad toy stay for the entire family, then it's like hey brother.
It's as I speak in vain or she's just on her own beat.
Miss lead, books deed, my heart she continues to stab and ill treat.

Then I sit thinking like yeah, maybe she understands me at times.
Then here she goes again in pity, so stupid she hides.
Telling lies, by not speaking the truth,
And making decisions by herself hurting me, like one hand can't play a flute.
What should I do?

To be honest, I'm getting tired of it.
To be very honest, I'm trying to hard for her.
To be very ******* honest, I do all I can for her.
But say what. God is in control of our relationship now.

So I'm going to do me and let her figure out her and LET IT BE!!
If she can't stay focus on anything I say how she can stay focused on me,
Yup like every pain I take.

Hey, I say hello to you when ever I see you.
And I want you to know that I'm in love with you.
You do something to me I can't explain.
And deep inside I know you feel the same.
That's why I can't let go of you and above.
Just because,
It's too deep to begin to fall in love.

I love you, and there's some magical reason.
Your love is special, and it's my only season.
It's just like another fighting and just another nightmare.
And I get sad inside and so vex when I see you with another person.
That's why I can't let go of you and above.
Just because,
It's too deep to begin to fall in love.

Understand me please, don't forsake me please.
Because all I want for you is to see you, smile, be happy and at ease.
There's no one in this world will love exactly like I do.
So please let me love and show how much I want to.
That's why I can't let go of you and above.
Just because,
It's too deep to begin to fall in love.

Baby, I know you love me and there's some magical reason,
My love is special to you, and it's your only season.
It's just like another fighting and just another nightmare.
And you get sad inside and so vex when you see me with another person.
That's why you can't let go of me and above.
Just because,
It's too deep to begin to fall in love.

Please! Be honest, comes on state your difference,
Are you the type to say, I'm different or I'm a different person?
In your eyes, are you the man who doesn't beat but cheats,?
Or don't cheat but beats, or maybe beats and cheats.
Or
Say you don't do both but at night you hide under with your phone with another person on the line.
Below the sheets.
I don't know you tell me and be honest.

What you have to hide, all those locks and not even me can't get the keys,
I'm not the type to snoop around but I'll know in time to come.
Like where those gifts, those stuff, and that hickey came from.
Oh yes, I saw it, oh ****, your reply, then you cry like the ****!!
You have the ******* hickey not me why u crying.
I know why, because you got caught cheap, and you're guilty and got none to say.

Stand up, open your eyes and stop fooling yourselves.
You hide your guilt when you do guilty ****.
But cry your ******* faces off when you fall in your own pit.
Yes!! The pit, of shame, disgust and regret,
Because it's like you often don't give a **** or.
Just liberally forget.
And you loose your mind, sit day and night and you fret,
But before you played innocent and did your **** behind my back.
Well, I'm here crying, but you don't care.
You ****** out your hole, hope you enjoyed your snack.

Look at yourself, you dumb, stupid or foolish.
Or deep inside you ******* mixed with all.
You rather a few moments of pleasure.
To throw away a life time of true love for
Some one thats all.
You're crazy, not focused and mentally ****** up,
To refuse a life with a worthwhile person,
Just to get you hormones topped up.
But say what that's your cut.

And you said you loved him or her, you'll never leave.
You're loyal, you're honest and all the above.
Then shove those words below the rug and forgot about love.
For what, he was charming and nice, she said.
Or she was wild and understanding, he said,
For a few minutes, hours maybe to lay in bed,
Get freaky, spread those legs and then go back to the ones you claim to Love?!

With thoughts in your head??
Thinking your wrong, your weak, no your dead.
Well, if you had the ******* willingness to
Go!!!
Smile, laugh and enjoy yourself knowing your boyfriend or girlfriend at home
Lonely as **** and with love in their hearts and missing you well instead.
Don't bother explaining, it's never a mistake but a choice and to me you look like you were well fed.
You're not different you're just as well as the Same!!


Now sit in shame and blame your games.
Sit and make yourself a better you.
And when you change hope karma, don't ******* in the ***.
And you get *******.

I am so weird.
I am so natural.
I am so simple.
I am so different.
Because I forgive and forget but yet still forgive and remember,
And I give love stronger to the ones that hurt me, hoping they won't again.
So insane, another man would say,
Or like a Trini, "duh mad over no girl"
But I'm in love, at least I can say I feel it and show it.
So I am a looser for love and a winner for pain.
But I feel it deep in my heart and soul, so God so help me I know I'm sane.

I am who I am, I am what I am, I am because only I am.

I'm tired of writing poems.
Because there are mainly about my pains,
No joy,
No fun,
No laughter,
Yup, no happiness again
Hmmm
But yet still I have her by my side or is she,
Well, she said she was.
Not spending time with me no more,
Not going out with me for sure,
And I can't do certain **** no more.
But say wah.
Hmmm
I'm tired of writing poems.
Because there are mainly about my pains.

Days passed and days to come, these days.
Who do we hail give thanks and who do we praise?
Who's God, who's men's God, what are we evolving into.
Lack of trust, lack of loyalty, lack of faithfulness.
Only in these days.

My poems are my journal, my pain, my grieve, my misunderstanding and understanding.
My ups and my downs, the smart of me and the part that acts the clown.
Also about the pain of others and poems that I wrote for the girl I loved.
I have bad dreams about her, like will she leave again, or will she die, sometimes I dream that she doesn't love me and she just playing with me, sometimes I dream she's not as I see her and that she has a lot hidden.
In my dreams where I cry all night, that's my prison. And I can't control them, these dreams they just fill my head and tears overwhelms my eyes.
And I try.
I fight until I can control it.
And I held her like never before, because I'm afraid of loosing her. I'm afraid she just looses feelings for me and tells me goodbye again.

These days, **** these days, where men know what they want.
So they prey on the innocent and victimize the weak.
And they find themselves in peoples business and look for what they seek.
To take away something that someone mostly cherishes for themselves to keep.
Then they abuse it and we cry, because we never had that planned in mind.
In these days where gay people walk our streets so free.
And Straight people now criticize and fight for them.
So funny,
So now a gay man has the right to fight for his abomination in courts.
When before it was legislated God gave them the bible to judge uprightly.

But in these days we are no longer sure if the bible is even true.
Because history taught us that the capture the black man in Jesus' name, and enslaved them in Jesus' name, and beat them, worked them without pay in Jesus' name, then when the black men revolt, they we're haunted, punished, some killed, and their women ***** in Jesus' name.
Well, I say to you that I don't believe in this man they call Jesus at all.

In these days, where blood spill, and the government doesn't care,
So they implement more laws to keep us under fear.
To tear us apart as one and for us to forget our ancestors and their culture. Diverting the truth and perverting the minds of the young ones,
And their forces like the Police is apart of their dark truth.
And they pick their forbidden fruit.
And give it to the innocent man and set them off the route.

These days, where people make friends just to benefit for themselves,
And some people are so foolish they accept these devils in their life.
Who may have either bought themselves into their lives,
And they keep buying and buying until they get what they want.
To destroy them and leaving them in destress,
In pain, in regret and in a mess.
But no man shall get cursed once God have blessed.

These days, good people face abuse and hurt.
Like the boy wearing the skirt and the girl wearing the shirt.
We put out all, and in everything we do it with love, we care, we fight hard until we can't fight no more,
We love so deep that I connect us within, we forgive and remember but yet we forgive and forget.
We are taken advantage, abused, hurt, cheated on, lied to, laughed at and most of us are sometimes killed for what??
Being good, trying to be different,
Trying to be God made and heaven sent.
And somehow we find it in our hearts to give another chance,
What would you do if you got a second chance with anything?
I know everyone will be, act and talk different.
You would embrace that second chance like it's your last.
You avoided mistakes and avoided all the **** in the past and not run straight back to it.
Because you were given, a second chance, why make the same mistake twice.

We suffer, we work hard for everything we do, we give even when we know that's all we have.
But when we need no one, is there, yup no one, not one single ******* person in these days.

SPEAK UP.

Shout if you have to.
No abuse is accepted to me or to you,
And we are all strong so don't take abuse and be silent,
Break the silence and put a stop to violence.

SPEAK UP.

Say it out loud.
Because when they abuse you, after they act like the innocent and proud.
With no remorse and no mercy in their hearts,
So expose them and put them to part.

SPEAK UP.

Don't sit and accept it,
Remember abuse won't stop unless you stop it.
Be brave, be strong and bold,
They abuse you and tell you do as you're told.
So destroy their fun and make them be scolded.

SPEAK UP.

Why do you keep quiet?
Because he or she provides for you,
And get you things and tell you, you don't have to.
Well guess what; NO MAN is great as GOD,
And God provides in times of need, men are just frauds.

SPEAK UP.

**** the silence, make it burn and suffer,
Make the oppressor oppress no more make them pay the price,
They abuse with smiles and enjoy it with vice.
So end their mark before someone else falls in their trap like mice.

SPEAK UP.

Please, remember you have a future!!
Remember that others out there will help keep you safe,
Remember that when abuse is done with you,
There others in your home who'll soon stand in your shoe.
And if not in your home then some where in this world, there's a ****** shirt,
Either a little boy or girl will grow up with so much pain and hurt.

SO SPEAK UP.

Break the silence and break the violence,
Break the wicked hearts of men and break their streak,
Break them by the simple words from your mouth, yes make them weak.

SPEAK UP.
Speak up against all domestic abuse and violence, break the pain the emotional and physical hurt and the silence.

Some feel that they can cope with abuse, to protect others or their siblings, to keep the oppressor with them because he or she provides, God will provide always

SO SPEAK UP and BREAK THE VIOLENCE!!
SPEAK UP and MADE HEARD THE SILENCE!!

No mother, no father and the only sibling left,
Because his family was wiped out by a horse man named death.
Young child cried for days, weeks, months and almost a year,
Death took his love and left his heart with a tare.

He can't go home, and he has no where to go,
And no one cares for him and no love they'd show.
So he ran far in the bushes and to the river where his mother used to wash,
Alone, I'm cold and afraid of what he may touch.

He sits all night and look at the stars and he say,
That he never wish that he was with his family some way.
And he became so quiet and he moved less every day.
Until he became like a rock, no motion, no look and no interest in play.

Child by the river, poor child by the river, they would tease each day,
When the other children go to swim, dance and play.
But they didn't stay for long because they were afraid of how he sit and stare,
But little did they know, his soul was no longer there.

Months and years past and the children did this repeatedly,
Until the child by the river disappeared suddenly.
So the children were afraid that he hid some where,
Waiting finally to get back at them with a scare.

But later on the news that was shown that day,
They all learned about the child by the river and that he had decay.
No more child but the river where the waters flow,
The children no longer go there, so many wild bushes grow.
And the elders go to wash sometimes and hear his voice so sad and light,
That keeps the village at ease especially in the middle of the night.

It touches the leaves and the fruits in every tree,
It keeps every living thing alive and let them be.
Touch the souls of men, granting grace to every type,
God made the wind blow to touch the world and give the breath of life.

Why the winds blow, why do hail snow,
No matter what men try to do to the wind, they can't ever make it slow.
Its an element, one of the strongest of them all,
Whether the earth stays steady, the fire burns bright or the waters stand tall.

We need it to survive. We exhale to revive,
And without the breath of life no man could survive,
And if that day comes when the lord will vacuum the earth,
The wind will blow no more and there'll be no more life or rebirth.

Why the winds blow, I believe to show us the way,
The way to look, the way to think and the way to pray.
Like the sun that rises from the east from hence his throne,
The winds blow even when one dies to guide him or her home.

They represent rebirth and life,
They are strong yet weak, within themselves.
They know what they are for,
And will fight for truth and righteousness, that's assured.
And even if they fall somewhere along the way,
God will answer their cries from the depts they pray.
Because they were first, before man and now after,
And the world became so cold and misleads, that woman where drawn to disaster.
Yet some women stood tall and proud because they knew their worth,
And they were victorious and they were never hurt.
A woman is a man's key of life,
Most men find the perfect one and make them their wife.
While some women defile themselves and fall asleep in sin,
Other sorts to righteousness and seeks wisdom from deep within.
Fornication and folly most women indulge in today,
Selling their bodies and it's all I can do is what they would say.
They no longer wait on man to make their move,
The women of today are deciding to jump into the groove.
They seek the defilement of the flesh more than ever,
*** is now like a game to some which isn't all that clever.
But that's them, because most men are the same,
So really it makes no sense pointing out women's shame.
A woman who listens to her man's instructions is good,
And she listens willingly and with her heart as she should.
She obeys the right things he says for her to do,
And as the same he will do it in return too.
So blessed is the man who haveth his own,
His own mind, his own place and his own woman.
And blessed is the woman who cherishes that good man,
And forever love him, care for him and holds his hands.
A woman is representing rebirth and life,
And I hope I have found the right girl, to make her a woman and become my wife.

It's a rainy day,
Many games to play,
While some are outside,
It's inside I crave.
And I hope you know what inside I mean,
The inside that's clean,
Always wet and warm waiting for me to slip in.
It's like warm seas, just needing to take a dip,
While the rest of the body works, and tongue kissing no lips.
I'm so cold, I just want to cuddle and be held,
With a grip from her waist tighten hips,
Bodies so warm so we twist and turn,
And our hearts race and neck burns.
No sound but the rain drops,
That bounce off many roof tops,
And that bonce back,
With my hands around her back like back straps.
Craving is a joke,
And I ain't talking about some drinks and smoke,
But like that lay down, lay back and that neck choke.
*******,
Or even inside her, where its warm like in snow coats.
It's the feeling all about now. I can't stop thinking,
About tongue kissing, breast squeezing and her back sinking.
Straight shots and I don't mean drinking,
Like one foot short and long and I ain't talking about limping.
Only that moan hearing, *** clapping and **** stroking.
It's a rainy day,
So what you expect,
Only play fighting, rain bathing or even football playing,
Well what about *** gaining, back straining and our bodies paining,
When we're done and *** dripping like taps flowing.
It's just me craving.
And if we can't do all of that well we could still hug,
And bite each other like bed bugs,
And I'll still kiss you and squeeze your *******,
Although that's the most we might get to do but it's still love.
I'm just missing you, missing holding, hugging and kissing you.
But don't worry, I'll get over it,
Then maybe take a ****,
Thinking about you mostly then remember about this poem and say it's lit.
Then I'll lay in bed while the rain falls,
Because I'm too cold to go outside.
Then I'll knock out and dream about it all.

Deeply unmatched inside than the outer ring,
I see beauty and the beast beneath my skin.
A soft and tender heart most people take and throw away,
I still give my heart again openly, but no one really cares about its part to play.

Unidentified and regularly unseen,
I have a heart of a king but always ill treated by a queen.
Maybe because I have no familiarity with love or what it is,
Or maybe I know love and just can't tell what it is.

Am I nice to you? Am I beautiful to you?
Am I worth anything at all or am I just a clue?
And if I would where be you say it shows the most,
Maybe the inside, but not the spirit's host.

I'm Ugly I know, don't have to say it, it shows,
Every one laughs behind my back, and when my eyes are closed.
Sometimes I sit and sulk, or just cry it out,
I hear them say "he's ugly" with their eyes, and they don't have to say or shout.

Rejection is different, that's what my mother said,
And I know I'll always stay the same and it's posted in my head.
But I no longer feel to cry or sit alone and frown,
I know I'm ugly, and I have always accepted it but it won't keep me down.

So I'll love myself more than anyone would say they do,
And I'll love the ones who love me for true.
It's not how you look on the outside anymore,
Because I know my mind and soul is clean and my heart is pure.

Too little too late to cry,
When someone met their faith and unfortunately dies,
And lays in their study, why tears drip from your eyes.
And a gush feeling like of guilt runs down your thigh.
What's the cost of this now, when you had all the time to spare,
When you had the chance to enjoy good times when that person was still here.
Instead, you wait for him or her to fall,
Then shed a tear and lie about your all.

Too little too late to cry,
All your hard work was in vain,
You're not mad, not stupid but fully sain,
And yet still you have to walk through more pain.
You waste your time studying what has no gain,
And doing works that leaves no stain.
But you cry when you drop and fail,
Don't cry, because you can try again.
With what cost, and why were you blind,
You have been so far in front, now you're so far behind.
You waste your time at school, while you played the fool,
Now when hard life hits you, you choose to sit on the stool.
And that's your fault, not his, hers or mine,
You ****** up so now you have to do your time.

Too little too late to cry,
You were a player so you left her cold,
Cheated, abused, mocked and scold.
Because you had her, but you weren't told,
That she would get fed up and leave your only fold.
And you cry when she chooses to walks away,
When she says I'm done and I can no longer play.
Now poor you is left alone, so mentally unstable,
But she couldn't take it anymore, because you brought pain to the table.
And you begin to realize how much you loved her when she's gone,
Still too late, so either fight for her or just move on.

Too little too late to cry,
When you listen to the voices around you and not the one in your head,
They're telling you to let go but you say you won't until you're dead.
Well, that's what you say at least to yourself,
Leaving no other possibilities on your shelf.
You believe if you love her then you won't let go,
And you would be strong and take things slow.
Some of the few choose to separate,
Because of what the voices around them place on the plate.
And poor you later on in life meets her again,
When she's worthwhile and has prosperity and gain.
Seeing her with someone else makes you sad,
And then these voices start laughing at you, and you get mad.
But too little too late to cry, you time has passed and your chances are gone,
Because of everything you ever hold back on.

Don't sleep at night believing everything is alright,
There are vampires lurking, for when the time is right.
Don't fight or catch cold sweat and fright,
Just keep guard and be aware of those you choose to delight.

And be careful, because they come out at day,
Say Hi in your face then behind your back they'll prey.
They can be a friend, family or even a stranger,
Just be acquitted and vigilant because they bring danger.

They thirst for blood and your energy they seek,
They prey on the rich and strong and even on the poor and weak.
They have no mercy they just want what interest them,
They don't want to see anyone with a positive system.

Walk with your garlic and you short spears,
Use it and don't be afraid when they get near.
Be humble and wise but also ruthless and bold,
And stab for the heart and make them shiver up and cold.

If you don't, well then prepare your grave,
And let them take your soul and become their slave.
Just remember whose name to shout out and call,
God can curse man because God blessed all.

If I fail, then there's no bail from my jail,
Only a one way sail to a desolate trail.
Emerged in the ground like a worm hiding from a bird,
Like the prodigal son, so far from his herd.

If I fail, I might just stop and stop thinking,
Staring at the sky, with tears in my eyes and just blinking.
Imagining what went wrong and how can it be reversed,
Or is this it and I'm done for, left to suffer and cursed.

If I fail will they abandon me and go away,
Will they seek interest in someone or something else so to say.
Or would they bare my pain and be by my side through it all,
And comfort me whether the sun shines or the rain falls.

If I fail, what can I possibly do next,
I won't bother to talk or bother to act, and I'll just look hexed.
Pleasure and fun would no longer be in my mind,
Nor listening to music, or talking to friends in my free time.

If I fail, what sense does it make,
Was it to help find out who's real and who's fake.
But it won't matter, because when I get up I know,
To stay close to those who came to give their love and their support really show.

If I fail, everyone will lose faith in me,
Well besides God and the ones who claim that their hands are free.
But I'll remember the starting of it all and the vision I had,
When I was little and lacked knowledge as a lad.

If I fail, I fail for a reason,
Because every fruit grows and falls off its tree in every due season.
So I will get up and try harder with faith,
Because no man can help me, and only God is great.

If I fail, I will gain wisdom, knowledge and understanding,
Of what it takes to stay afloat and stay standing.
I'll know who's for me and stay true to them always,
And I'll do anything in life to ensure they are lifted and praised.

So if I fail, then there's no bail from my jail,
Only a one way sail to a desolate trail.
Emerged in the ground like a worm hiding from a bird,
Like the prodigal son, so far from his herd.
But that prodigal son did learn and returned to his nest,
And was accepted by the ones who supported and had faith in him even when he disobeyed and left them in distress.

Since I was little, all I did was sit, stay quiet and observe.
Because I didn't get the attention that I deserved.
So I focus on making me different and watch the mistakes of others,
And learning that people contradict themselves, even between brothers.

So I'll sit, and I'll listen to everything you say,
The first time I meet you, tomorrow and like I did today.
And I'll pick out the things that make up your character,
Waiting to see if you'll fail yourself sometime later.

To be honest, I love to sit and observe,
Eventually, I get to pick out the real from the fake, the sheep from the goats and the separate all the birds.
To fully understand who is who and what who is for,
But most times who isn't always who and ain't what who's for.

Then I'll smile and laugh deep inside,
I'll smile on the outside as well, but the laughing I hide.
Because we all do wrong at a point in time so we can't lie,
But it's the ones that stand up and come clean, are the ones recognized and not the ones who just sit by.

Like the miscreants who sit with me and say I hate those type of people,
Then next thing you know they are those types of people.
Or the deceitful who sit and with me and fake smile,
But I know that even my shadow won't stay with me at all time.

So I'll keep sitting and observing a lot of people,
Even the ones who say they are good but tend to do evil.
I know I'll stay true to myself and my bae,
But I'll remember the things she said and did the first day we met up to today.

I'll observe even my family, as holy they may try to appear,
And laugh like Lucifer will do, when all there holiness disappears.
I realize that they contradict themselves, even I do,
That's why I stay quiet, and change myself before I find their clues.

And I'll look at the people who make foolish mistakes,
And I'll remember not to make them, no matter what it takes.
Because everything we do and say is being recorded in the Book of life,
So what I sit and observe will be my comprehension of people and their types.

OFTEN WE awake from slumber and don't give praise,
Nor say a prayer for being granted mercy and being raised.
Yet some of us just lay on our beds and gaze,
Because we're tire and it's another sleepy day.
But what about those who die in their sleep,
Leaving behind family, friends and even the cool places still to meet.
They DON'T enjoy the pleasure of resting no longer,
So for those who can just say thank God you're alive a day longer.
Sleepy days would never disappear,
But you will so better be aware.
This poem wasn't to tell you to PRAY when you go to sleep OR awake,
It was to tell you that even the gift of sleeping and resting is to APPRECIATE.
WHAT would you do if you don't awake,
GOD can't help you, and you can't pray in faith.
What you CAN DO is prevent this by living right,
So sleep FOR tomorrow and pray, and God will protect US.

Often we don't pray or appreciate what God can do for us.

Dripping wet, like the rain fell,
Hearing her sweet moans, ringing my ear bells.
Kisses long and kisses tongue,
She lick my lips and then worked her way down.
Going deep, it tickles when it touches her teeth,
Me going in her throat, and she's not on her feet.

Back and forth, she won't stop or cut time short,
She wants all to because its sweet and if I ***, she wants all to eat.
Licking the tip, her tongue work makes me grip,
And at times I hold her head, so her guidance is well lead,
Stroking ib all makes her smile so I know she was well fed.

Then why sit, so we stand with hands in hands,
Hands crawling up her sides, touching and squeezing her breast,
Her left hand on my **** and the next hand on my chest.
So passionate and slow, I couldn't feel my toes,
Until she was done eating her snack and it was time to go.

Not going nowhere, but dowb in her dress.
So my hands slip from her breast down where it's wet,
Fingers down and deep inside what's mine, so warm and hot.
Kissing her and touching her ****, I thought that's the furthest we would have got.

But quess what's next, after all teasing and hex,
******* drop and she start begging for ***,
No hurry but with ease, a connection with my sides and her knees.
When I lift her in the air, she said daddy **** me please.

Enter with caution, and taking it out slow,
Then an intense feeling suddenly began to flow,
First from ease then speed and pace as soon as we know,
Cumed once then she was down, *** all over even on the ground.
So a little wipe off then I turned her around.

Now she's short, so I had to stoop a bit,
But it never stop me from going deep in it.
Stroking from the back, and seeing her face expressions.
She looked so cute everytime it went in, it's like intermission.

It took a while, ****** her good, but more time would have made her smiled,
*** all on her clothes and some dripped on the tile.
Dripping wet like the running pipe.
Taking my last strokes, real wet and warm no joke.
Freaky looks staring at each other, without a note,
With smiles on our faces and no words were spoke.

I wish we had more time, just to kiss abd grind,
But it was time to go, leaving all that teasing and memory behind,
Can't wait for next time and I hope it's a longer time,
So more can happen and so I can see her climb.

I'm always the first,
Always left to think and deals with **** headfirst.
It's like I'm cursed,
And I need to be dealt with and nursed.
I try sometimes to keep immersed,
Into everything peaceful, but I always reverse,
Onto old thoughts with a negative thirst.
But I get out of it when I think of her and our good times I rehearse,
Or I over think and remember she hurting, so my happiness emerge.
So I pray to God for guidance and her protection,
Then I cool down and I relax from all frustration.
But it repeats and that what's make me the worst,
Because I'm always the first,
Always left to think and deals with **** headfirst.
It's like I'm cursed,
And I need to be dealt with and nursed.
I try sometimes to keep immersed,
Into everything peaceful, but I always reverse,
Onto old thoughts with a negative thirst.
But I get out of it when I think of her and our good times I rehearse,
Or I over think and remember she hurting, so my happiness emerge.
So I pray to God for guidance and her protection,
Then I cool down and I relax from all frustration.
And maybe I'll be good for a few days or weeks,
Then in God I pray and her love and care I seeks.

Bad secrets isn't good to keep, bad innovations isn't good to seek. Speak out loud with a loud voice and not with a soft voice, to change what has happened to you is not a possibility but maybe still your choice. Man's hearts are like stone in these days, don't care for themselves, so how would they for you. I thank God for giving me a soft and kind heart. Although rage, anger and pain is deep in it path. Hurt me not, hurt me not, stop and leave me alone. Stop causing harm to me and settle your soul. Stop committing your acts and abusing one's rights, stop intruding and destroying one's life. Where would you go if his bright light was to shine on you, exposing every ***** thing you ever said, thought and still do. It's so surprising that some men really don't care, their size, their age and their relationship,
It's like they don't fear.
What goes through a man's mind when he sits desperate for a prey, with evil thoughts in his head, I wonder what desperate things he say.
With no respect for himself, or the people he victimize. Forgetting that God don't sleep and never blinks his eyes, nor see and leave his children on the way side. But that time will come when all truth will come forth. And all his darkest words and deepest thoughts. And they will get put to shame, no longer would they play this game, of distress, self pleasure and ******* pain. And the one's he victimize will no longer feel the strain, or won't be afraid to step in the light again. And they will be brave enough to look him in the face, and say to him "You won't ever hurt me again".
A child's life is important and more important than anything else in this world, so truth be told protect your children and don't grow them knowing abuse, pain and scold. Because a child's pray is a blessing that would destroy all evil. Humble thyself like a child, hurt them no more but protect and be meek and feeble.

Nothing you say or do will frighten me,
I'm wise and I think independently.
If I'm a punk and a baby to you,
Then there's surely not one thing you can do.
Because my head is on my shoulders real firm,
And what I say I'm not going to do is what I'm not going to stir.

I'm different and I now truely realize,
That no one ever was able to make me act outside the lines.
No one was successful in making me do what they do,
Smoke what they smoke, drink what they drink, I never stepped in their shoe.

I always said no, and was never afraid to say it,
And they all called me names, like old records they continuously played it.
Forgetting that I'm mentally strong and no one can play with my mind,
Not those who tried and not even those next in line.

I may be different but I bleed the same red,
But at least I'm honest to myself, and always until I'm dead.
So the real ******* are the ones who try to fit in,
And chastise themselves onto sin.

I love the way I don't do what they do,
And I'm always smiling no matter who they slue.
I'm different with my head up high,
But they are different with intoxication and their red stains in their eyes.

Nothing you say or do will frighten me,
I'm wise and I think independently.
If I'm a punk and a baby to you,
Then there's surely not one thing you can do.
Because my head is on my shoulders real firm,
And what I say I'm not going to do is what I'm not going to stir.

Kiss me now and kiss me slow,
Kiss me let it hide or show.  
Kiss me until I can't feel my toes.
Until my breath runs from my lungs,
Kiss me tender, let me feel your tongue.
Kiss me until I can't see my path,
Kiss me so I can't feel my heart.
Don't stop, don't panic, don't faint,
Kiss me freaky because you ain't no saint.
Remember that if I kiss you long,
I won't want to stop unless I taste you tongue.

Distance yourself from me and leave me to be.
Your provocations stems a brief distraction.
Lamenting my focus and desorcrating my righteous plea.
Breaking me into pieces like many fractions.

Distance yourself from this world,
Or stand with evil and let evil live in you.
The more your false proverbs are preached, the more the truth turns.
Far from yunder, Olorun gave us wisdom so good and true.

Distance yourself from fraud and false Gods.
And their doctrines that are false thought.
Or be like fools that take from strangers and accept what's false bought,
Or be less curious, neglect and rebel against whats false fought.

Distance yourself from petty things.
Petty people, petty conversations and petty sins.
Pluck out all your black feathers from your white wings,
So your light will shine when you fly, and the world will recognize your bright stings.

Distance yourself from me bad mind people.
Do you think your actions and words are making me feble.
Or do you think your stare horrifies me and make me tremble.
Never at all my heart and mind are bounded with good and my body is Olorun's temple.

I want to hide, I want to run, I want fly far above the mysterious skies. No longer on the ground where I can slip nor slid, but in my zone where there's no rules, limits, truths or lies.
Maybe because I'm fed up of it all, I mean seriously, what's the point, what's the purpose.
And are we sure what's insured, is insured for us, maybe, maybe not.
For what, for who and who for what,
You won't understand because life is all mixed up. Taking orders giving complains, what's the deal if we feel pain and there's no ease for the strain. Not even a gain.

But we will find out soon enough, because we have been lied to enough, stressed out enough and dismissed enough.
But stay still, I understood when I was little, stay humble, meek and mild like a lamb, the Holy one's child.
I am, that's the worst part, rapidly and revengefully breaking my heart, stirring its path of a diluted failure in any shade of dark.
So where do I start, where do we part, why am I alive so long if sin is in my heart. If deception and lies is all there is to take part. Stranded in this fertile crescent world where anything can fall asleep and apart.

But I'm strong and I'll get stronger. By the second, by the minute, by the hour, by the days to weeks, months and years to meet.
You'll see me standing with my hands empty but my heart will be full and I'll be on my feet.
Passing by and through every corner and every street, telling the false people who serve false Gods that there is something much sweet.
So sweet, you won't stop licking your lips and ******* your teeth. However, where would you go, I bet you would want to repeat the deal you'll make to set thing straight, fulfill what's supposed to and conceal your faith to achieve the goals you set and get what's great.

I want to go far away, lead far from but not far astray, to slay the demons in my head and lock them far away.

Que estoy diciendo,
¿Dónde está mi fe,
Porque estoy jugando
¿Cuál es el propósito de jugar.
Desearía haber hablado español,
Pero estoy atascado tratando de entenderlo.
O tal vez aprender francés,
Es un hermoso y romántico acento.
Traducir, ¿por qué traducimos?
Para transferir el significado de otro idioma.
Así que traduce este poema.

In the paradox of the beginning of time,
God gave Grace green grass.
To fertillize the world and let it grow and shine,
To spread this green fern around the world at last.
Weighing the balance between Heaven and earth,
Green grass for the world as a new birth.

To stir up a feeling for the children to enjoy.
A soft, but yet sharp small short and silky touch,
Hate chose to plant his seed as vanity the world's toy.
But God gave Grace seeds to plant in the springs, and so she planted as much.

Now the generations of Hatred flourished and bloom,
And the descendants of Grace where few.
Because Hate ate the seeds of Grace with their greedy spoons
So Grace had not many gifts for the world, parables so true.

Also as Grace, Hate had gifts to show,  
Hate's gifts were many so they hid it in the dirt without water.
Grace's gifts where one, but with drips of love their seed began to grow.

Grace seed raised above the earth and everywhere even in the seas,
Covering Hate's mistakes and displeasing iniquities.
Leaving Hate below the ground to tempt and grow torns.
With no other actions but to stay small in size.

In modern times hate torns pierce the feet of many men,
Causing them to fall in folly and contempt.
But Gods plan is not done yet and Hate time isn't past,
Because of faith God gave Grace green grass.

Every touch, every smile, every scene,
It's like a chained chemical reaction flowing through my bloodstream.
When we talk, we laugh and sometimes we don't have anything to say,
We just stay silent and smile at each other as long as we may stay.
Sometimes I'm melancholy and never wants to speak,
Or sometimes fed up and all I wish is to fall in a deep sleep.
But to be honest all I want is to have her next to me and hopes she never leaves,
To be her helping hand forever and ever and for more forevers there can be.

Pain is not what I give and not what I seak,
But a loyal companion who will stand for me even when I'm weak.
Who'll understand what I say and not judge the words I speak,
And walk with me on the narrow roads and on the bumpy streets.
And I'll do exactly the same for her as she may do for me.
And when she's silent I can tell she's not happy,
So I'll always hold her, hug her and spoil her with all my attention and love.
I'll be over annoying and keep asking if she's ok just to see her smile,
I'll help **** her pain and wipe her tears off her cheeks.

To lament any fragmentation that needs elimination,
So I give my heart to her again praying I'm not left in desolation.
Because I don't think I can deal with that devastation.
I never felt this way about anyone else,
And I hope It's not only myself.
I may not have much to give so I'll give myself fully,
And hope for the best that she may do the same to me.
Love is to live and sometimes to live is evil,
But it's how we spend our days we have.
So I no longer care what they say and I'm no longer studying people,
Because I love you Celene, and I hope you can accept that I'm no fashion but I'm simple.

My mind has a wicked plan,
To destroy all in sight in result of a desolate land.
My mind has a wicked plan,
To **** peoples feelings and forbid them to stand.
My mind has a wicked plan,
A plan to die and never understand.
My mind has a wicked plan,
To separate myself from everyone and don't give a ****.

My mind has a wicked plan,
Today I want you to live but tomorrow die please, and go back to the sand.
My mind has a wicked plan,
Like why I have siblings, why can't they disappear and go back to where they came from.
My mind has a wicked plan,
A seldom echo that makes me want to run.
My mind has a wicked plan,
Slit the wrist, and burst my life bands.

My mind has a wicked plan,
Sometimes I want my mom around, most times It's her I can't stand.
My mind has a wicked plan,
To set a trap to catch any wicked man.
My mind has a wicked plan,
Maybe for the best or just for ******* fun.
My mind has a wicked plan,
Running away from home to my happy clan.

My mind has a wicked plan,
Demonstrate my dislike, still shows love dislikes any evil fan.
My mind has a wicked plan,
Don't care for tomorrow so live for today, or ******* and go far away.
My mind has a wicked plan,
I will fight for what I want even if I'm the only person loving my decision.
My mind has a wicked plan,
I won't let it be a tool of my own destruction.

I'm fed up of living, and tired of sinning.
I'm just kidding, or I'm just killing, myself!
I want to run, I want to hide, I want to die.
I feel to fall, I start to weep because I want to cry.
****! I can't take it no more, can't stand life no more,
I want to walk in sea and leave my last words on the shore.

I remember I wanted to be successful,
I'm well mannered, I'm not disrespectful.
I fight for what I want but now I don't know,
What to fight for any more.
Why am I writing this ******* poem anyways,
Maybe because all I want is to be heard and understood.
In this life I feel like everyone around me,
Just surrounds me to benefit from me, especially
My family.

Telling me how to speak, how to walk, how to see.
How to look, how to run and who to love.
**** this ****! I fed up and yet still I'm still here.
Sometimes we have to make sacrifices and let things go,
But sometimes we have to make sacrifices to keep things close.
To keep things near to your heart.
Things that make you focus, listen, observe, understand, eat, sleep and even love to be happy.
But life is **** so to karma, these stuff's ******.

I don't know what to do any more.
Because even if I leave my last words on the sea shore,
I'm not sure that anyone would see sure,
That my words are so sure.
I'm always told to study tomorrow and to prepare for the rainy days,
But I'm alive now and to day of all days,
I'm not sure of tomorrow or even tonight,
So I am going to make my decisions now.

I going to live today for today and live for tomorrow when I reach tomorrow.
I'm going to love today for today and accept the ones who are with me now,
And if I loose these things if there's a future for me, then I'll learn I was wrong.
But atleast I'll learn for myself, I'll cry by myself, I'll understand for myself,
And I'll get up and start over, with no regrets but lessons for myself.
So **** this ****.

Oh no, it can't be true, is it rage?
Underneath docile reflections,
Inside wombs, a baby's cage.
Lifted high, bound by blood and sin,
Everyday, a new day to flip the page.

Sleeping like sleeping in, with no dreams,
Do you see the vision do you get the message?
Birds nest, free from scorn and of capture,
But now imprison by lies of a cage.

Keep me lock in, but keep him posted,
Who's him, the other me that's never on stage.
The legions that speaks in my ear, always screaming,
I'm caged, I'm caged.

What's every man's greatest fear, is it death, is it, love, is it demons or is it angels or the coming of Christ. Is it girls or are they shy to speak to others, what are their nightmares and qho or what do they see. In this dream are they in control, are they possessed by an uncontrollable desire or being. What is men daily and nightmare and what or whom they go to, to assist with over coming it. Is it the dark, I remember being afraid of the dark and the voices that penetrates the shadows that look at me. But then I searched myself a little further and I realised that my greatest fear and nightmare is to fail. It's not a natural fear everyone will have or will expect to encounter in life. Because there are a lot of people that helped me reach where I am and are still willing to lend a helping hand to assist in my fight to success. I thank God for them and I appreciate it every day that I rise in the day and rest in the night. My fear is to fail, not only me but failing those who helped me reach where I am today. I am willing to learn for my earnings and I will never appreciate myself if I become my father. I will not allow this to happen.