Sade LK

Sade LK Feb 2014

**** yourself cutter.
You're not worth it.
You're nothing, not good enough.
Just end it now
Before it gets any worse
Before you **** anyone else over.
Just **** yourself,
Because you want to,
And therefore you don't deserve to live.
Cold black hole in the earth-
Rot like your mind rots your personality,
Or burn like your ****** up heart,
Pulsing poison through your arteries.
**** yourself because you don't matter
And you never will.
Because you're worthless,
And this life holds no answers.
**** yourself so you know
What's really on the other side.
Do it, *****.
Slit your wrists one last time.
**** yourself cause you'll never get better-
And recovery is a grave.
You're a **** up,
So **** it.
**** yourself
Cutter
Cause no one will ever know you better than
The infinite darkness.
And you belong in the ground
Like the dirt that you are.

Written October 1st, 2013

Sade LK Feb 2014

IT ENDS

Intrinsic distinction
Public justification of
Dissolved disillusions-
Delusional dysfunction.
Call it protocol, call it
Fuckitol, call it
Medication of salvation.
Those desperate endeavors.
Said with no regret, and
Spoken in staggered motion, with
Softly strong bold notions,
No hold could keep me
No pill to sleep me,
Sweetly, still and bitter ill
Is rippling the shadows
Of hollow fill.
And fed me rotting gut tubes
Glued to doom, the dreaded shade
Of shame’s false face
And traded grace for
Fate in pairs, no snare could state
How simply slaughtered was this day
So long ago.
Splintered glass ripped shards to blow
Open stitches sinking under skin
And again, and again
It went like this.
Again, and again,
It came to this.
Again, again,
It ends like this.

Written August 15th, 2013

Sade LK Feb 2014

Everything Red

Such a deadly obsession- suicide.
It kills me to wish I was dead so bad, and
Fantasize about death all day.
Bleeding images screaming
In my mind and I just want
To drown them in my bathtub while
I fall asleep forever.
Don't want to get better, not sure if I'm sick.
But blood, crimson streams
Of decadence calling me to the grave.
Death.
So unexplored- so unknown- so unique.
So fascinating, captivating, decapitatingly
Consuming my mind. And I am so denied
Of the sweet surrender.
What I would give to know...
I'd give my life to understand dying.
To experience what comes after
With the choice to come back again.
Impossible.
But what does that mean?
Wish I could just be a vampire-
Somewhere in the middle.
All the blood I could ask for.
I don't feel wrong, I don't feel sick.
I feel alive and
I feel death calling me closer to
Suicide each day and I don't understand
Why I can't get rid of these thoughts these
Images haunting me breaking me
Crushing my skull in
Bleeding screaming death dying black black
RED.
Everything RED.
Everything
RED.

Written October 8th, 2013

Sade LK Feb 2014

(Its Nothing)

Life- endlessly sweeping from shadows
A shuttering still-frame for no shame and pain to gain
Somebody's brain broke so I spoke
Up and shut the *******
Buck done been shot down
No ground to hold him
No cold hole to know him
Rotting
On the road like rage ****.
No intentions left mentioned for *******
Of deep destination, no
Choke of destiny to leave bleeding
Screaming alibis had drove on by
With bitter ailments of the eyes
Leaking black ooze of droop seeping
Unhearted blistered tear ducts.
What luck, huh?
Its never enough
Its never enough
Its never enough
Its never enough
Its never enough
Its never enough.
****** the flesh in it's skin bag-
No remorse for unfinished courses
Vanquished tranquility in unseen forces.
This divorce of life and death
Hesitated with breath and
Broke into silence.
*Nothing left.
Nothing left.
Nothing left.

Written June 6th, 2013

Sade LK Feb 2014

Violets

Violets shriveled in a desperate desolation-
Bleeding blues and bruising black.
But yellow rots through leaves of green
And gives stubborn solace in
Insights black and white-
Silent treatment of a flower's wilted soul
As it leaves it's roots
And sinks to soil.
Pretty petals wither and
whether or not you thought you could save it
With a cool drink of water
Or crimson drop of blood,
No, nothing so vital
Could bring the life back
To this vacant violet;
Dried up regret crumbles
With the quiet life of secret sorrow
Hollow as it's death to follow.
Stolen beauty, ***** and shattered.
Broken glass it's vase had offered.
And sweet ripples of it's youthful bloom
Had shriveled into endless doom.
Inevitable, uninvited
And yet so perfect, so exciting.
Shadows of it's gentle form
Sagging slowly to the floor.
This is what it must come to,
And this is the day
The flower has died.

Written March 4th, 2013

Sade LK Feb 2014

All I Ever Wanted

Feel like I'm being buried in a mound of ******.
Scratch that- a mountain of ******.
Black tar mud, disgusting love.
And,
I feel like I'm trying to find a straw in the middle
Of a razorblade stack-
A single straw of hope.
So **** this, basically.
If I could, I would.
Honestly
I would smoke black,
Bleed red,
Fade out and see silver.
Drift into the oblivion of my mind...
Feel like I'm hiding from myself
by trying to deny these feelings.
I can't quite describe my morbid desire for
******, and cutting.
And maybe it's because
All I ever wanted
Was to cut myself while strung out.
And maybe one day,
I'll finally do both those things
At the same time.
All of reality would freeze-
A blissful utopia...
And in that moment,
I would feel *peace.

Written February 22nd, 2013

Sade LK Feb 2014

A Short Poem about Rotting Carrots

Carrots moping in the ground
Roots rot and spoiled orange splits-
In cold earth.
Worms squirm freely in and out the sprouts
And wander about without worry or woe,
No place to go but down
Tunneling deeper in Carrot-Worm town.

Written February 21st, 2013