He’s walking through the past,
Just trying to make it last,
He picks up the gun,
And hears it blast,
He wakes up,
The dream has ended,
Back to his world
Of nightmares everlasting,
Warmth of one hugging his skin,
Tighter with each breath,
He’s embraced with the kindness of another,
He doesn’t believe it to be real,
The kindness soon left him alone,
Forever he shall be cold,
Embraced by hatred and sadness,
Hurt by many,
And more to come,
Why won’t one stay,
Because that’s all he needs,
He picks up the gun,
And hears it blast,
He doesn’t wake up,
The nightmare has ended.
He takes his last breath.
And the sadness loosens
Withholding its embrace.
He’s free at last.

Behind a locked door.
Broken, and shattered.
Illusions unknown.
Scared, and battered.
He cuts his legs.
Cries in pain.
Nobody can see.
he's going insane.

Dark, alone, and saddened.
Bruised, battered, and cut.
Love, hope, and happiness.
All shattered to dust.
It's funny how when your dead.
People start listening.
Maybe I should go away.
Because I'm sick of this.

Dress me up just like a queen.
Make me so pretty.
Wear high heels.
Paint my nails.
In some pretty pink.
Make me look pretty.
But in the end.
I realize.
This isn't me.
Not who I'm supposed to be.
I put on jeans and a ugly shirt.
I paint my nails in some gruesome black.
Take off my heels and put on flats.
Just look at me.
I'm back.

Wild winds of words.
From the saddened and broken.
Peace on earth turns to terror.
Love into heartbreak.
Dreams into nightmares.
The found is now lost.
Like Atlantis.
A+ turns to F-
Warmth to cold.
Cherished to abandon.
Memories are forgotten
So is everyone I ever knew.
Who am I?
Who was I?

I dream my nightmares happily.
I'd rather have those than dreams.
Because they're more interesting.
They make me, me.
Every night I cry myself to sleep.
Every morning I wake up and scream.
Everyday is my real nightmare.
And my nightmare's are my dreams

I fell for you. Why didn't you catch me?

I am not a doormat. I shall not be treated like one. You may not step on me. If you dare to try. I will invite all my online friends to have a party all over you. Enjoy the chips and salsa while you're at it. -_-

When you're at the point in life. Where you don't care if you live or die. Yeah, I'm at that point.

Depression is like a stomach bug. It looks like there's nothing wrong on the outside. But you hurt inside. Soon enough everything spills out, and you feel better. Gross but true.

I just get so sad. When I get sad, I listen to sad songs, that make me cry. When I cry, I don't like to talk. When I don't talk, I shut down. When I shut down, I just lay down. While it feels like I'm drowning. The weight of the world crushing me. Like waves in the sea. I wish someone would come and save me. Anyone. Otherwise, just let me rest in peace. I've already drowned.

"Remember when I said I would always be there?" Yeah, I do. Apparently "always" is a very short time.

I'm not perfect.
Neither are you.
It's time to face the truth.

Windy, cold morning.
Blowing on love's past.
A tired tombstone.
Has begun to crack.
As it begins to shatter.
So does the surrounding too decay.
Trapped by the memories.
Which it failed to save.
Broken, and forgotten.
It's inscription weeps.
In loneliness it stands.
Hugged by the wind.
Never escaping the feeling.
It's appearance tends to hide.
Left to remain.
Cold and grave.

Strong, brave, and confident.
Bruised, battered, and worn.
Hold on tight, and you'll win this fight.
But alas her lips were sewn shut.
Not a word. Not a peep.
So she wrote in her diary.
As if it were a song.
Not skipping a word. Not a single word.
As she hid where she thought she'd be safe.
Where the gestapo couldn't find her.
But one day, there was her fate.
Right in front of her.
The camp that carried the disease into her.
As she and her sister both died.
The only thing left was her diary.
Not skipping a word. Not a single word.

Written on my arms, lays a story untold. Enfolding me in sin. I'm breathless, and alone. I stand in a lifeless world. Surrounded by cold. Unforgiven, and broken by your heart of stone.

Written on my arms, lays a story left unspoken. Enfolding me in darkness. Leaving me scared, and alone. I stand in a careless world I am left broken. Unforgiven and shattered by your heart of stone.

Written on my arms with blood, is my life's fear. Enfolding me in lies. Leaving me helpless, and alone. I stand in a cruel world. I am left laying here. Unforgiven, and dead by your heart of stone.

Written on my arms, lays a scar. Enfolding me in a tale. Which left me lost and torn. My dream deprived of sleep. A winter lacking cold. A song without lyrics. A world where I wasn't born. A tale that has left my world shattered, and torn.

Do I really have to **** myself.
Before you realize I'm not happy.
That my smile is fake.
Or to tell you.
I don't need help.
I just need a hand to hold.
No words, no speeches.
Just a hand warm or cold.

I just wanna run away from the pain.
Fly away from the abuse.
Ride away from the bullies.
Hide away from reality.

We used to talk everyday.
Smile and laugh.
Also play.
But now it's like.
We've never known love.
Is this the end?
Or a new beginning.

That one guy who you thought loved you.
Just broke your heart.
He said that you'd be together forever.
Forever must be a very short time.
You loved him so very much.
He just up and left you.
Without even saying goodbye.
You'd die for him.
You committed suicide.
Not knowing...
There was another boy.
That watched you.
Because he thought you were beautiful.
He knew that your old boyfriend was going to hurt you.
He would do anything for you to be here.
He didn't even get the chance.
To say he loved you.
"I loved you. You just up and left me, without even saying goodbye." Said the boy.

That day we fell in love. The night you stayed up with me. The time I told you everything. The moment you broke me.

Holding onto the rod of life.
Throwing the line, out into open sea.
The hook might get stuck.
Don't tug.
The line might break.
Help will come.
You just have to wait.

Goodbye.
I've died.
Dead eyes.
Rope tied.
Gun cocked.
Suicide.

Reflections, reflect on what others have made you see in yourself.
Reflections, reflect on what you have made you see in yourself.

She lays awake at night listening to songs that remind her of you. Because you broke her, and she will always remember that.

I'm Fine.
Goodbye.
You couldn't save me.
It's alright.
Broken trust.
Truth too lies.
I thought you loved me.
I guess you lied.
But don't worry.
I fulfilled your dream.
Say sweet dreams.
I murdered me.

Stand in the rain.
Cry your tears.
Screams unforgotten.
She whispers in fear.
Stand up.
When you are about to fall down.
What you couldn't do then.
Do now.

4: Happy and running around for no reason.
5: Making very few friends but still happy.
6: Giggly and has at least 10 friends, but lost dad.
7: Lost 3 friends but still loving.
8: Lost 4 more friends, and starts getting sad.
9: Loses 2 more friends. One friend left.
10: Falls in love, with that one friend. Happy again.
11: Heart breaks. Sadness and depression.
12: Depression and demons.
13: Depression, demons, and scars.
14. Suicide.

She wakes up. Knocks softly on her older brother's door. Asking if she may sleep with him. There is thunder outside, and she's scared. He tells her to go away, and to leave him alone. She creeps silently downstairs, to her mother's room. Say's, "Mommy may I sleep with you?" Her mum tells her to go back to sleep. She quietly goes  back up the stairs to her room. Closes the door and hides in the closet. Listens to the thunder and lightning crackle within the night sky. Shy cries wanted to be held. Her demons laugh at her calling her a cry baby, wimp. She cries harder and  harder. The storm outside shielding her screams. She falls asleep in her closet. Wakes up to her demons still laughing.

He's so very hungry. He weeps staring into the fridge. Looking at all the food, and drinks. He closes the fridge door. Walks away. Goes to sleep. Without eating a thing in 3 days. They called him fat, and he believed that very untrue fact.

He is so very sad. Crying, while his demons run mad. Screaming mad anger. Only to come out as small whispers. Silent crying, fills his room. Little do they know. His fate, he's consumed.

Smile when it hurts. Smile when you cry. Smile when the people that tell you to die. Smile when you take the gun. Smile when you **** it. Smile when you pull  the trigger. Smile... Yeah, that's it.

Alone, when you walk the halls.
Alone, when you people are around.
Alone, when you cry.
Alone, when you break.
Alone, when you die.

Left behind, bruised and broken.
Emotions inside, never cry.
Sleeves remain down, until tonight.
No fear, though I'm not alright.
"I'm fine," though I'm really dying.
Look in my eyes, oh so dull.
I was fat, look at me now.
I still don't eat, I'm becoming skinny.
Am I your perfect princess, really?
My thoughts, remain suicidal.
I will never be someones idol.
I know, because I already tried.

Wake up, and do ADL's
Walk to school, and be late for class
Get yelled at, go to office
Next class, be late again
Get detention, go to lunch
Get food, throw it away
Don't eat, go outside
Get bullied, go to next class
Gets sent home, walks home
Go through back door, don't be seen
Gets seen by mum, and gets beat
Go up stairs and avoid bruder's room
Bruder comes out, slaps me
Don't cry, it'll just hurt more
Go online, pretend to do homework
Find someone just like me
Say hi, they say hi back
Talk to them, make friends
Feel like someone cares
Goes to sleep, wakes up
Gets in fight with mum
Sneaks the pills, takes them all
Go to hospital,  surgery
Go home, get beat
Go online, talk to friends
Feel accepted, and loved
Gets offline doesn't eat the whole day
Thinks 2 more days, goes to sleep
Wakes up, goes online
Feel happy, goes down stairs
See's mum, dread...
I mean dead... No more dread...

I'm that one girl, who sits in the back of the class.
Just so I can go unnoticed, make my life last.
I always hide in my room.
Just so I don't get beaten, and bruised.
The kids at school, call me worthless, and stupid.
The teachers, say I don't try, but I do try...
I try my hardest at everything, but they don't seem to notice.
My sibling's all they do is torture me.
As if they feed off of my pain, and fear.
I'm that one girl, who only wears ear buds.
To block out the voices of anger, and hurt.
My arms, are not that clean, or neat.
I'm not pretty, and when I say that I mean it.
Maybe I'm not worth it, maybe I'm just a piece of *******.
I am stupid, and I have come to believe it.
Maybe I really don't try hard enough, and I am not trying harder.
My sibling's can feed off me all they want, I don't care anymore.
I've taken my ear buds out, and I'm listening to the screaming of hate.
Yeah my arms are cut, and they will always be cut.
Yes I am not pretty, and that's the truth.
But I am me, and that's okay.

Razors, pain you.
Rivers, drown you.
Acid, burns you.
drugs, sicken you.
Life, threatens you.
You might as well live.
Because.
Death, kills you.

Leaves falling from the trees.
As the Autumn winds,
Put the children down to sleep.
As children's mothers stay awake.
Singing to the the children,
Trying to get them to hibernate.
But alas one child doesn't sleep.
For his mother isn't there.
His mother is asleep in her old rocking chair.
He go's to her room.
She is not there...
He checks the house, outside, and all,
But his mother isn't there.
He goes into the woods...
To find her dead.
In her old Mothers Day rocking chair.
He didn't cry.
He just stared.
Thinking, "How could this be fair?"
For tomorrow is Mothers Day.
But he has no mother.
To love and care.

You hear that?
No? Exactly.
She's not breathing.
Because of you.
You drove her to insanity.
Let her go.
When she needed you most.
You all laughed.
When she cried herself to sleep.
Every night.
Every single night.
Her parents worked all day and night.
All her and her siblings did was fight.
She shut herself out.
Behind a locked door.
All because of you.
All of you.
She's just hanging there..
Not breathing.
Dead...
She tried to see the light.
But instead came the darkness.
That she feared the most.
So, yeah.
Don't cry.
You treated her like ****.
Don't any of you come to her funeral.
You are responsible for this mess.
You are responsible for her death.

Tomorrow.
That one word.
Makes me feel like there is a chance.
A chance for me to be something great...
To be someone great.
Maybe I'll be a famous poet.
Would people listen to the stories behind my work?
Maybe a singer.
Would they hear me then?
Or an author.
Would they cry when a sad part meets their minds?
Tomorrow.
That one word.
Comes to my mind.
Today.
Will tomorrow be great?
Or will it be shallow?
Tomorrow.
I want there to be always a tomorrow.
As long as I live.
That word will mean so much to me.
Today.

She went to the police.
Told them she was being abused.
They didn't believe her.
They thought she was another teenage fiend.
She went back.
Told them that she was *****.
They didn't believe her.
They thought she was another lying child.
She came again.
Told them she got beat up.
They didn't believe her.
They said if she comes again they will arrest her.
Her bestfriend came.
Told them that she was killed.
They didn't believe him.
He came back.
Told them that they aren't worth their lives.
They just laughed.
He left.
They got a call.
The person told them.
That they saw two bodies in the river.
The police went to check it out.
The bodies belonged to the girl and the boy.
The girl was killed.
The boy committed suicide.
Just to be with her.
The police were wrong.
They didn't believe their eyes.
They should start believing more.
**** April and it's fools.
The police were the fools in this story.
They started to believe more.
They saved lives of many after that.
But what I'm wondering is.
How come they didn't save those two kids.
That would've had lives to live.
If only they had believed.
In this retched April Fools story.

Suicide, Suicide be my guide.
Show me if its time.
In my room.
These retched cries.
Hear me scream, hear me cry.
My thoughts that torture me.
The ones I hide.
Tattooed on my arms.
The scars of a thousand knives.
My tears have finally run dry.
As I cry, on this silent night.
Suicide, Suicide. be my guide.
Show me if its time.
To stay or to die.

You gave away all your faith.
Just to fit the mode.
You worshiped the elders.
Just to be accepted.
You changed your ways.
Just to be the same.
You were gay, but now you're not.
Just because they thought it was wrong.
You were transgender and now that's gone.
Just because they made you chose "right" from "wrong".
You used to be yourself.
Just because they try to change you doesn't mean you need to change.
You went back to who you were... Who you are.
Just because they were wrong, and you were always right.

My last day I had to live.
Was all peace and quiet.
Before they came up to me with a rope.
Saying run and jump like in the movies.
An hour later they came again.
Handing me a knife.
Saying just a little cut or three.
Two hours later.
They came up to me.
Handing me duct tape.
Saying try not to scream.
Four hours later.
They never came back.
It was just me and things they left
I tied the rope around my neck.
And duct tapped my mouth.
Trying not to scream.
I took the knife, and started to bleed.
I ran and jumped, just like a queen.
Before I knew it.
I was gone.
And all I heard
Was a sad, sad.
Song.

Listen, cant you hear?
Her cries? Her Fears?
Cant you see?
Her arms?
All bruised and ******?
She doesn't speak.
Not a word. Not a peep.
All she does is writes in her diary.
While she sits in the back of class.
Hoping the teacher won't notice her.
Hoping that he doesn't care.
Hoping that one day.
The world would be fair.

Love is the beginning of heartbreak.
He tells you he loves you then cheats as if nothing is wrong.
Your heart begins to fall apart.
Then he comes back.
He begs for your forgiveness.
You were stupid enough to forgive him.
He shatters you once again.
He begs one last time.
But this time you were smart.
You don't forgive him for his cursed lies.
He said he loved you.
But he doesn't speak the truth.
It took a miracle to fix you.
That miracle was another person.
That one person who listened to you.
He listened when you were sad, happy, or even mad.
He was always there for you.
He showed you that it's OK to cry.
He kept you safe, he held your hand, he is just like you.
That one guy, that kissed your lips goodnight.
And you didn't even realize it 'til now.
That guy, he is yours, only yours.
And forever he will be yours.
Only yours.
Forever.

We all have our scars,
Yours on the inside,
Mine on my arm,
We all have our stories,
Yours you share,
Mine I try and hide,
We all have our day,
Mine just so happens,
To be fifty years before yours