Coincidence makes sense only with you:
Each time your vision beholds my mind falls
eschewed. Grounded as cascades of the new
intensify shadows surrounding gall.
Wight wrought thoughts call, haunted emblems intrude;
fractured gleams of beamed brilliance retreat
to beats of swallows and groans. Sighs accrued
collide with entombed chaos in demise;
searing bright flashes amidst seascapes dark,
burn wounds cauterise heart murmers. Aris-
ing proffers perplex vexed-descending arc;
Sweating palms, butterfly flutters, deplete,
or so it's wished, sketched by movements sublime;
shimmering waterfall pooling divine.

warm presence entwined in slow movements
hair brushing in idle amusement,
a breath tracing time
as it rolls put sublime,
and enshrines in divinely formed fusions.

Your voice is the light of my morning
I wait for you love without warning
to feel your warmth
like the star guiding north
is the course of the universe dawning.

Beneath blue swept skies,
where the sunset dies,
and the black flocks score winds fall,

Where the orange red wings
of the dead birds singe,
and the gem stones scorch and call,

Mustered hoofbeats rise,
Scuttled whims devise,
banded battles broker ball,

Tiny steps
clipping skips of stones,
final breaths stripping
souls from thrones.

Soft footsteps catch stones touch.
First to death: cold clammy crutches
flow underneath. Lent support sundered;
sowing last few breaths. Deafening thunders
storm from heaven's sent.

Lost last shrugs of heart's pace,
pursed lips rock hard, bending to face
throes of ******; bleeding heart beckons
growing perjured shock. Reckoning threatens
dorment gods heeding.

Blue river out of sight
carries shorn west, leading sapped might
to calmer nest. Broken vestments rinsed,
cleaned by a pricked thorn, form adorned by glimpse
of sublime's spoken.

Crystal streams twinkling
Dazzled dreams bring tears;
Blissful moods sprinkling
soulful's dance through spheres.

I remember the T.T on the front screen tv,
I remember the wooden table outside, with perched prose inscribed
I remember knocking myself out on the door ****, **** that I am adorned.
The video games
Plastered on the monitor
Excessive violence on demand.
I remember Sunday lunches
And the soggy Yorkshire pudding bases
And the ham, bear shaped and broken out from plastic cages on demand.

I remember the late nights playing board games,
The laughter cacophony ensuing
The vivid images and 3D activity represented on the big wooden table top purview,
I can't remember what the tabletop looks like...                       A shame

I remember sitting in the car unable to breathe,
I remember the recycled oxygen,
The time we nearly died on the roundabout,
The times we looked at air rifle paraphernalia.
The times we smiled together.

The arguments,
And conversations,
The silence

And sleep...
And questioning glares everytime I asked permission to make myself a drink
The awkwardness
The times we walked to the corner shop

Or took a drive somewhere or someplace,
The time I picked flowers and got a bollocking
The skin that felt empty and conceited.

The blooded scratch marks hidden under sleeves,
The scratching, allergies,
Dripping noses, headaches,
The mass of energy in front of me.
The unconscious predispositions,
The illness that came every morning,
The return home to certainty
And mostly the fluctuating sense of existential ambiguity.

The times we went on holiday and flooded the car with gear,
I remember the constant uneasiness,
The commentaries that rounded every corner

The time you turned yellow,
The overwhelming desire for love,
I remember the attempts to connect
The feelings of rejection and isolation
The awkwardness.
And love,
And memories that die with me.

I remember you daily, live you eternally,
I find myself caught in a web spun,
And thus
I try not to remember you
Too much.

I apologise for these thoughts,
But not to you,
But to the others I love,
Whom it may hurt.

Today I found my happy place
is seeing my head succumbing to pressure,
finding itself displaced
from not the event,
or indeed my need for protection,
but from the simple fact of
continuing to be
before again retreating;
Receeding into peace.