You are the sun.
       Vital
To my life. I adore
      You.
I praise you  for
     Nurturing
The crops i so
   Desperately
Wanted to grow.

I Cherish your
     Warmth.
I wanted to get
      Closer,
My life has been
         So
Cold, so I flew
         To
You. out of natural
       Instinct.
        

You were so dam
   Mesmerizing.
I wanted to stare
         At
You for an
    Eternity.
Or until I and
Everything else
     ceased
to exist.

But I stared too
        Long.
Looking at the
       Sun
Made me lose
       My
Vision. I became
      Blind.

On my  journey
          To
The sun the
     Warmth
Melted the wax
         In
My magnificent wings.
           Now
I am falling into
          The
ocean below me.  

I still don’t hate
          The
Sun. I’m just
      Happy
That I got to
   Experience
It once in my
     Lifetime.

As a man I have
No fears. I will
Face death if
The time was
Right.


As a man I can be
A rock to those
Who need comfort.

As a man I can be
Emotionless under
Pressure. I can handle
About anything.

As a man I can get
Beat, and  still manage
To get up and throw
punches.

As a man I’m ok
I’m doing everything that
Was taught

But as a
Human
I’m not.

Thank you

You have more Skills
Than the professionals.
You’ve managed
To keep me alive.

All of the times I’ve felt alone.
All the times I’ve collapsed.
You tried to resuscitate
Me.

Since I’ve almost Died.
I felt every Significant,
Forceful breath.
Even though  
My lungs were
Filled with fluids,
From the ruptures.
You gave me
Air.

I’ve felt  Your strength,
Through The steps
Of Chest compressions.
As my bones began
To crack.

my soul Was fading
From the land
Of the living, And
I’ve seen you
Try everything
In Your power
To keep
My heart beating.

In my
Dying breath,
And with the
Final word that
I Can muster.
I thank you
Because
I’ve
Always wanted
To get a
Second chance.

And for you I promise
To Hold on. I will
Keep fighting
For you.
The blood
Has Started to flow.

Now it’s time
For you
To have faith In me
To pull through.

Trees symbolize
Life.
From a vulnerable
Seed.
That has
To be protected.
Into a
Source of oxygen.
That gives
Life,
To others.
But now that I
Grew.
Like a tree
Standing firm
Against
The wind.
Trees symbolized
Death.
Wether I use my
Body as an
Ornament.
Or if
I stick my car
Against the
Bark
Like sap.
Trees symbolize
Death.
No wonder a trees
Silent.
No one can relate
To the pain
Required
To grow.
Trees symbolize
Me.
From a small
Child.
That grew
Into
A great man.
I too suffered
In the silence.
As I watched
My leaves fall.
I was dead.
But with
The help
Of the sun.
I started
To bare fruit.
And
Now others can
See
That I grew.

It’s like
Losing diamonds
While playing
Amongst the rocks.
Or maybe
It’s like
Being the
Villain,
And hero
In a story.
For sure it’s
Like
Being a human,
Who has to
Manage
The gravity
Of heaven
And hell.
No language
Can truly
Decipher
The code named
bipolar.
It’s too complex.
It doesn’t make sense.
Its a plethora
Of
Violent
Emotional
Contradictions.
You can’t fix me
Because
I’m not broken
I am
Just
Me
Now Let me
manage
This peaceful torment.
Because I can
See,
But still blind
To the fact
That 2poles
Can’t be controlled.

For years
I was emotionally
Bleeding out.
I was bleeding
On
Those who didn’t
Cut me.
The
Red river
Just kept on
Flowing. But
I tried to
Gasp
For air
In the silence.
The more I
Struggled
alone.
The more
I bled.
Smoking ,
Drinking
& ***,
Couldn’t
Bandage
The open wounds.
Nothing
I did for
Myself worked.
It started
To get
Cold.
I was losing
The only
Thing
Keeping me
Heated.
But I
Also
Felt
The warm
Embrace
Of the heavens.
As I drift in
And out of
Consciousness.
I sit and
Wonder
Will I
Be saved.

Night time
When I think
The most thoughts
When I crumble
It is when I sit
Alone  
In despair  
But night time
Is when
I see the moon
With millions
Of my brothers and sisters
Some dance
Some shoot
But they all have
The undeniable
gleam
That all stars
Possess
simply Dazzling
Stars are
Reminders
That even on the
Darkest nights
They will shed light