I look at the horizon
The sun kisses the sea
The sky blushes pink at their love
The clouds hug the sky
I feel the sand tinkling my feet
The water cleansing my knee
The wind whispering about love in my ears
I close my eyes and picture your arms wrapped around me
Your lips just inches from mine
Your heart just a beat away from mine
We got married in the summer of '09
Right before you got deployed
I said my vows knowing that you could die
I didn't know it would be this soon
I imagine your soft lips grazing my neck
Your stuble leaving marks on my cheek
I imagine you whispering 'I love you' against my lips
As the sea crashes the shore
I picture us saying our 'I do's'
I will never forget your big 'ole heart
Your bravery of risking it all for your country
You are forever in my heart
With these ashes that I carry
In this heart shaped locket you gave me
If I were to know that this is how it would've ended
I still would've given you a chance.

I dream of a world
Where words of love are whispered into the night sky
Carried off by the wind
To later be picked up like fallen leaves
Against the sea
Carried on waves
To crash against the shore
Wanting nothing but more love.

Love will consume your heart
Filling it with youth of life
Love will blind you to all evil
Seeing nothing but sunshine and rainbows
Love will shelter you from the storm
Staying indoors wrapped in his arms
The fireplace crackling
Filling the room with endearing warmth
All is right in the universe
When you have found the one
Wrapped in his or her loving arms.

Love is not a word, it is not an action
It cannot be described or defined
It is not something that could be understood
Love is an emotion you feel
Lightning to the soul
Fire to the heart
Roses on the skin
Honey on the lips
Dew on the skin
Love cannot be seen
Only felt with one's whole heart and soul
And if you're lucky, the other person loves you back
Love is a one way street
Love is letting go of what you wanted the most
To see the other smile with someone else
To be held in someone else's arms
To get tangled up in different sheets
Love is sacrifice.

There is something unsettling glorious about the unknown
The mystery of life
The ripples we make
And their gray outcomes
There is a reason to hang on to this hectic world
It's called the future.

He wants to be in the war?
No!!!
I am literally going numb
I am fighting the urge to break down
and sob in sorrow and despair
I hate the war
It's taking my first crush
Since 8th grade
and now we're sophomores
I can't look at him
I am ******
I need a beer
but I ain't ever drank before
I need a cigar
but I ain't ever smoke before
I like you, boy
Why the war?
I think I love you...
and all it took was for you to flash those dimples
I will wait for you to come back
In my dreams, we are together
My hand is cramping
My heart is shattering
My mind is rambling
I am fighting the urge to break down.

I close my eyes, but sleep won't come
What have I become?
I am a stranger
My thoughts, I cannot wrangle
I lie awake, staring at the celing
The next day, I am dreading
Why can't I just look like her?
These thoughts I ponder
Oh, how I wish they would disappear over yonder
But they just keep coming back
You see, "beauty" is what I lack
I am not beautiful
Nor wonderful
I always compare myself to others
But I don't even know why I bother
Wasting my time
Won't make me a dime
But here I am staring at the ceiling
These tears roaming
In the dark
I feel like a piece of bark
Ripped from a tree
I can never just be thee
I can never just be happy
For all I am is ******
But don't worry y'all
This ain't gonna be the last time I fall.

My swimming pool was full of dirt
Why do you let every little feeling hurt
My pool decides what stays in and what goes out
Why must you fill yourself with doubt
My pool always stays pure
Why must you let the pain endure
My pool moves itself
Why must you hurt yourself
My pool leaves quite the impression
Why must you label yourself with depression
My pool filter cleanses the filthy water and makes it happy
Why must you make yourself feel ******?

There is something comforting in a simple graze
I have always felt alone
But the touch from another person energizes me
It lets me know I am not lonely
Touch will ignite a fire up and down my soul
It will warm my heart
It will let me know I have not been deserted
I love holding hands with strangers
To feel their warmth against mine
To make them and I feel welcomed
When flesh touches flesh
The warmth of their skin will forever burn
When the soul collides with another soul
You will forever be accompanied
The flames growing and yearning for more
I love touch in the most simplest of ways
Whether it's a hug, a hand shake, or a kiss
Touch is something beautiful and sacred
It lets me know I am not alone
But once we touch for the very first time
My skin will forever remember the touch of your embrace
The burning that you have left
The love that still stays and will never fade
Touch me as if you'll never love another
Hug me as if you'll always stay
Kiss me as if you'll leave forever
My body burns for the touch of another
The simple comfort that comes with it
The innocence I love
Oh, what a wonderful thing touch is.

I think of you...
In his arms
What happened to our heart carved into that oak tree?
You were my first in that dark candlelit room
Our shadows against the wall
Our naked souls colliding
You were my everything
But now you are in the bed of another man
Getting tangled up in his sheets
I hope he treats you like a princess
All these memories flooding in
I pop open another Bud Light
Trying to drown out our loving memories
But they are burned into the back of my heart
I lie on my bed
Staring at the celing
Whispering your name into the comforting dark
I imagine you next to me
And all hell is loose
I go down to the cellar
I grab a bottle of Jack
Your laugh and radiating smile putting me to sleep in sorrow
Another drunken night thinking of us.

I listen to the typing of words
The bleeding of emotions
Filling their empty screens
Words that cannot be said
Are typed to form a story
That hides our emotions
In simple words and periods.

I only write
When all is wrong
I only write
When I can't take it anymore
Lately, I haven't been okay
But you wouldn't know
The brighter my smile
The more damage and pain
I have been enveloped
In anger and sorrow
I am a walking paradox
I try to be happy
But then a tornado ***** me in
Leaving me stripped
Raw in emotion
Why must I feel everything in vain?
I got the sad blues.

Come on down to a small little town
With Southern hospitality  
Where we wave from our trucks
And give each other 'the hand'
Where we all care for each other
Where the tea is sweet
The Beer cold
A nice little lake day with Texas
Jumping in from the tire swing
Screaming at the top of your lungs filled with joys of laughter
I really hope you'll fall in love with Texas she really is friendly
She'll let you run your tires through her dirt
Get all muddy and ***** while its raining
Then worship on Sunday morning
A BBQ with the whole town
We'd really like to make you feel welcomed
The Texas Friendly kinda way.

There are so many things that can never be resolved
Where you can never be the same person
Where once hell seemed to be down below
But now you are in the front lines
The devil doesnt wear a turban
The devil isn't American
The devil isn't Muslim
The devil isn't an Atheist
The devil isn't Christian
The devil is war
No one is for the war
But the war is the only way for our freedom
I will not live to see the day
When 'Ole Glory stops flying
This is treason
This is the war
The war is ugly
The war is murderous
The war is hell
The war is haunting
The war is deadly
But freedom is beautiful
We have the strongest weapon; Jesus
The ones that die, live to see his face
The ones that live, die to see his face
The war is many things
It is frightening
It is hell raised
It is hell bound
One does not fight because he loves the war
But because she loves her freedom
Because they both love their country
Without the war
We wouldn't be free
Without the war
We wouldn't be dead
The war will change a man
Into an abusive alcoholic
The war will change a man
Into a peace loving Christian
The war is ugly
The war is deadly
The war is adventurous
The war is loving
The war is the war
Support our troops.

Sometimes you just need to learn when to walk away
And quit following their sick play
When nothing is going right
Set it straight
This is your life darlin'
This is your way of livin'
And if you ain't happy
Then all you'll ever feel like is ******
If someone hurts you
And they got you feeling blue
Just know that it's okay to leave them
Your smile is a loss gem
That you deserve to have back
So just grow a jack
And do what's best for you Darlin'
If you ain't smilin'
Then walk away from whoever is hurting that smile
Grab your rifle
And Darlin'
Let's go huntin'.

We're all infatuated by each other's words
We know not anything about each other
We write to ease our pain
We write to erase the memories
We write to feel the numb
We write our heart's desire
We write our soul's despair
We write our mind's thoughts
We write to feel like we belong
When you write, you don't know whether someone will like it or hate it
But you write because what other way is their to life?
When we write its to quench our thirsty souls
When we write its to ease the burden of our shoulders
When we write its to let our heart be heard
But don't you see?
We are a sea of people
But admit it, darling
We're all a little lonely
We're all looking for that perfect poem that describes the situation right
That sets the soul at peace
I don't consider myself a poet
And I'm sure most of y'all don't
I write to fill the empty void of loneliness.

You hug him one last time
You hug her one last time
Bye Mommy
Bye Daddy
Bye Lover
Bye friend or cousin
Until I see you
Try not to get blown up
You pretend to laugh
It is your worse nighmare thinking he or she won't come back
That the devil took their life before the Angels could save them
You get one last hug and kiss
You scream farewell
But on the inside, oh my darling
You are breaking down
You are drowning
Many nightmares running through your mind
Your lips said farewell
But your heart said "Don't Go"
Why did you let them slip on by?
You know it in your heart that that might of been the last goodbye
But you let go anyways
Even if your fingers wanted to latch on
You pray for a safe return
But you know God has plans for them
Ones we will never understand
You look above and see that our former country men are now
Guarding the gates of Heaven.

I walk around the world
With my head held high
As if nothing hurts me
I try to act like an insensitive ****
So people will hate me so I won't fall in love with them
They ask me what's wrong
Why are your knuckles bleeding?
I got into a fight
With who?
Myself. And I seemed to have lost.
Any glass that could've been found in that little shack
Has been broken by my ****** knuckles
I made glass Angels that left a ****** puddle
I didn't cry, I smirked
I threw my head back and laughed
But oh my Darlin'
Here I am writing poems because I am weak
I cry and I breakdown
I try to give myself pain to make myself strong
But the tears still leak no matter how tight I close my eyes
I bawled my fists and swore I hated my parents
For never getting along
I went to sleep with a hurricane inside of me
I couldn't stop trembling
I act tough
But I am weak
I cried myself to sleep that night
As well as every night
I am weak.

He comes stumbling in
Another day of hell
He's barely breathing
Barely hanging on
But all you see
Is that bottle of beer
You can't see the haunting memories
Within the bottle
All you smell is the *****
All you see is that 24 pack
You bark at him to be a man
But don't you see?
Men cannot cry
They are manipulated from birth
The bottle of beer is his medicine
It's his wall of steel
He numbs his feelings
With each drink
Take the bottle away from him
And his raw emotions will **** him
All will sting and a fire will form
Like a tornado with rain
You cannot see what he is trying to escape
All you see is the alcohol
You don't know the sour taste he is turning sweet
With each pull
Erasing the past and sinking him in.

He's told to grow some *****
She's told to quit being overly sensitive
He's told to pack on some muscle
She's told to bare no fat
He's told getting some is part of a boy's duty
She's been called a ****
He's gotten beaten
She's gotten beaten
Man don't be such a **** hit back
Man just do what he says and he won't hit you
He's a walking human
She's a walking human
Gender roles should not decide pay checks
Hard work and determination should
Your body parts don't get in the way of anything
Stand up and speak up
Feminism is not about women hating men
It's about equality amongst the two.

The day my daddy died a new lover took his memory
Mommy kept inviting strange men in the house
They filled my lungs with poison
They marked my body with bruises
They cursed my very foundation
They came in and out
Changing the colors of Mommy's skin
Taking her in shackles into the bedroom
She hollered till her throat went dry
She kicked till her legs went numb
There was nothing she could do
Until one day
I walked into mommy's room
She was hanging from a rope
Glass bottles shattered on the ground
I left and took what was left of her
I am at her tombstone
Barely able to stand upright
I fall to the ground on my begging knees
Cursing my mom for leaving me
I stumble away
My vision all blurry
My words all slurry
I am now long gone
My new lover took my life
Beer.

Cheers to that crazy howl in the corner
Holding your stomach trying not to cry so loud
Those hot acid tears stinging your cool face
They fall on your lips and you lick it away
Burning your throat and into your stomach
Only to be quickly filled with more tears
Like an ocean rushing in getting ready to destroy the shore
To all those ****** knuckles and broken glass
You were mad
And tasted the ****** salt
But you smiled and went on
Until there wasn't anything else to break
To all those folding hands
Singing in harmony
Praying to a God
Even when you went through hell and back
To all those sweaty nights
Waking up panting and gasping for air
It was just another nightmare, darling
Get ready to wake up and face them
Cheers to all the people in the world for still being alive
Even when you felt like the world didn't give you a reason
There is nothing better than being alive
Cheers to us.

My dad calls every year round my birthday
I don't want to talk to him, mom
Last time I saw him I was 9
Now I'm 15 years
I've been avoiding him 6 years
My birthday is coming up
What do I do?
He tries to be a part of my life
But I can't
I push him away
I don't want to see him
I've been okay without him
I can keep on keeping
A secret grudge that's been buried
I can't, I can't
Be alone with him
I don't want to see him
You don't mess with my kin
I wish I could let go of the past
But 6 years a grudge
Ain't easy to let go
Goodbye dad
If I ever come looking
It's gonna be at your grave
If you're ever gonna see me
It's gonna be my tombstone.

I saddle up my horse and imagine you doing the same
I go out to the creek where our names are forever carved into that oak tree
This is the spot where you said you've fallen in love with me
What has happened to that?
Should we have engraved our names a little more gravely?
I put my horse up in the stable
I climb into my Chevy and drive to our part of town
It is past midnight
My heart won't let you go
My body won't forget you
My soul will be forever engraved
With memories of you.

He came home from Vietnam
He cheated death and now he's paying the price
He hears the voices of his fallen brothers
Screaming in agony and pain
Bullets flying everywhere
Men dropping to the ground with a thud
Panic and horror creeping in
A tornado taking his soul
He screams and awakes soaked in sweat
It was just another nightmare
He takes a long pull of the bottle
Trying to numb the memories
He is not alright but he will never admit it
He was an American soldier
He survived
But how could he feel so dead and hollow in the inside?
He went to sleep with the bottle clung to him
Another whiskey lullaby
Trying to drown out the hell of war
He drinks till he can't anymore
Then it's back to those nightmares
The feeling of guilt for coming out alive settling in
He's got the weight of Vietnam on his shoulders
In the bottle he sees their faces
He hears their hollers for help
He feels the very life draining out of them
He's held so many dying men
Men who had wives and kids
Men who wanted to tie the knot
Men who are now six feet underground
And it's all his fault, he thinks
He takes the bottle and falls asleep to another whiskey lullaby.

I whispered your name into the darkness
The wind carried it through my hair
Chilling my bones
I lie here on the bed of my truck
Memories of us roaring in
Coming in tornado flashes
Beautifully and ******* me into its whirl
But now I am destroyed
I am forever afraid of falling in love
But my drunken eyes only sees your face
My cold, lonely lips feel your warmth
My pounding neck feels your eyelashes fluttering
How I crave to be in your tight embrace
Tangled up in sheets never wanting to leave
My hammering heart yearns for you
I should of never let go.

I found the courage
To come and sit next to him next to the plug
I used the excuse of needing to charge my phone
Even though it was on 80%
I just wanted to feel his heat
He still doesn't know
I write yet another poem about him
Then a beautiful girl came along
And took his attention for a few minutes
Even though he was too tired to talk
She walked away
But she's still a threat to me even though she doesn't know it
I sat next to him
On the last week of school.

I spend all my days in a jumble of letters
Words rambling on
They are tangled at the tip of my tongue
They are thought with my heart like a blood rose
I am the rain
I say everything at once
Slowly and rapidly with no avail, lightning interlacing
Or I don't say much of anything
A drought drying my wordless throat
I've learned that the only words we regret
Are the ones that our lips have yet to form
The ones that have not been voiced
But thought at the back of our minds
Melting and freezing like an icecube
The ones that we struggle to string along
The words that haunt us late at night
The ones we wish to scream till our lungs collapse
We say all that our heart's feels
Through a simple poem
But we are still struck with the loss of words
Have we said all that we are feeling?
Have we still some feelings left to be said?

I dream of falling in love
With each cigarette puff blowing in the wind
I dream of falling in love
With each leaf crunching as I'm walking in the woods
I dream of falling in love
With each dandelion seed flowing adrift
I dream of falling in love
With each coyote howling at the moon
I dream of falling in love
With each line I compose from the heart
I dream of falling in love
With each breath I take
I dream of falling in love
Always and constantly.

In life
You are going to have to make decisions
That you will question for the rest of your life.

You are mine.
You were my best friend since 6th grade
When I first moved here
Then you started to become a stranger
Someone who I've never met.

I felt the distance you put in between us
I felt the cold draft rush in to fill your void
I waited for you
It only got colder.

Enough is enough.
I had to do what was best for me
I wasn't going to let you play me like that anymore
I ended our friendship
You didn't have the guts
To say it to my face what you've been saying behind my back.

I took the reins.
I ended us
I couldn't keep on pretending like I didn't know
I deserve better than you
But why am I questioning everything I've done?
Why am I wasting my ink and midnight tears on you?

Letting you go
Was the hardest thing I've done
Memories of you and I
Flood my pillows
Filling my thoughts
I will never forget you,
Dear Friend.

I wondered
how could I
possibly be
loved when
I don't
even love
myself.

She's the type of girl that will say no to clubbing
She's the type of girl that would rather stay home
She's the type of girl that stays up all night
She likes being alone
She smiles at words on a page
She's in a trace
She's laughs wholeheartedly
And sheds a tear at something that tugged on her heartstring
She can't hear anyone
Her mind, soul, and heart are dreaming
She's in her own wonderland
Where everything is possible
And nothing is impossible
She has fallen in love with a fictional character
She dreams of one day owning her own bookstore
She wishes to stop time
And to stay forever in her books
She reads to long
She longs to read
With each word she's moved
She is no longer here
She is an another world
Where everything is alright
Where the roses are beautiful
The coffee sweet
The birds chirping
A rainbow always out
Nothing but smiles
And sweet kisses
She's only a hand away
But her soul is far gone
She's addicted to reading
She just doesn't know when to stop
But she never dreams of it
This is her escape
From the cruelty that is life
She can't see no evil
She can't hear no evil
She can't do no evil
She is an angel
With a cup of coffee on the lamp stand
A blanket wrapped around her
Sitting affront of the fireplace
Rocking back and forth
A beautiful, lively book in hand
Stacks and stacks of more books
Sprawled on the floor
Little snowflakes falling from Heaven
like sweet little kisses that flutter throughout your body
She is a reader
She is the girl that hides behind her books.

I've never been good when it comes to art
My strokes are either too soft or too rough
I can never intertwine the colors just right
To make them seem as if they were meant to be
I am no Leonardo De Vinci
I can't draw with my eyes open
Leonardo drew with his heart
Art is for the passionate eye
I am no artist
I cannot visualize lines
My art is the kind where I string letters together
I play with words not paints
I write with my heart not eyes
My kind of art is called poetry.

I am that type of girl
That will stay up late talking on the phone
Holding you until your body stops trembling
If you were to punch me I'd grab you and ask if you were okay
If I were starving and you said you just wanted my food
I'd give it to you and watch you chew it up happily
I would imagine it going through your system
And making your tummy smile
I'd listen to you ramble about your unhappy life
While flashes of my parent's fighting ran through my head
The curse words like penetrating echoes in my mind
I Am That Type Of Girl
That will smile while I dodge the murderous bullets
And watch you cry on your own parade
I have a heavy burden
But I've learned how to carry it
I just don't think about it
It's like an illusion
You can't feel what you don't see
But you like to feel what you don't see
That is why you are always complaining and under the bus
I Am That Type Of Girl
That likes to laugh without a reason
I will sit on the floor with you and hold you while you scream
Like an upchuck from the deep bowels within
I'll tell you everything is alright
When I blame myself for my parent's fighting
I tell you to not bear the cross
I'll bear it for you ontop of the world that I already bear
You don't believe in an afterlife
You can't see anything beyond dirt
I believe in Heaven
I see Angels dancing to the rainbow
You go around the world with your head bowed down
I keep my head held high
You settle for what comes your way
I make my own way
I Am That Type Of Girl
That will smile through anything
That will love your everything
I love with a passion
And hate in vain
Yes, I Am That Type Of Girl.

People like to treat my heart like sugar
No more than a grain that they throw away
Something that they can't get enough of
Some are in love
Some hate it
My heart is like a big ice cube
It once started whole
But with each play
My heart started to melt and disappear
My heart is like a glass vase
I am filled with roses
You break me and get cut by one of my thorns
You break me and you smell the sweet scent that was once me
My heart is like a bomb
You mess with me and I will go off
If you never touch me I will do you no harm
My heart is a hornet's nest
Poke me with a stick and I will sting you with no end
My heart is a honey suckle
Taste me and I will fill you with sweetness.

I sit in class
Writing about him
He sits across the room from me
With no knowledge that I like him
He makes my heart ache
He sends me over the edge
He causes all these emotions to emerge
Much like a tornado
Sweeping everything in its path
Destroying me from the inside out
With no end.

There is something in his eyes that makes me keep longing
The way one keeps sipping even though their is nothing at the bottom of that cup
There is something about his arms that makes me want to keep on hugging him
The way one says hello after a long departure
There is something about his shirt
The sweet sorry smell that is him
The bedsheets I yet to wash
There is something about his hands that makes me want to stay
The way one stays 'one more beer'
There is something about his lips
Maybe it's how soft they are
Or maybe it's because they taste like the sweetest honey
I keep wanting to come back like a honey bee
There is something about his smile that gravitates me towards him
The way the sun and the moon cannot stray
These is something about his heart, mind, and soul that keeps him alive in all my poems
I can never forget a boy like that even if he has already moved on
This is me
Keeping my favorite dream alive
Keeping us alive
Keeping Him Alive.

Because of thee, the land of dreams
Becomes a gathering place of fears;
Until tormented slumber seems
One vehemence of useless tears.

*Lionel Johnson [1867-1902]

Another sleepless night
I lie on the hammock
And stare up above
At the twinkling stars
I think of the many dead
Who were turned into Angels
But some of them
Just wanted to forever be a part of the hidden sky
So they chose to become stars
To light up the night and give us hope
The brighter the star
The younger the death
The dimmer the star
The older the death.

But once someone
Cries affront of you
It means they gave themselves up
They needed someone
And they chose you
Keep a flask in your heart
And mark this day
Write it in stone
For tears are sacred.